Echoes of the Heart (40 page)

           
Anger
rose in defense while he stared at the disappointment he could read in John’s
eyes.
 
He knew the blame rested on him,
however, he chose to ignore the hurt and bury his feelings, the only way to
endure the loss.
 
She should not be
traveling in her condition.
 
Is she nuts?
 
He knew she longed to go to St. Louis.
 
Had she not begged him to take her
there?
 
Unaccustomed malaise knotted his
stomach, “When did she leave?”

           
Just
before Thanksgiving.
 
Diane mentioned you
finally sent a wire but she had already left.
 
Diane felt it best under the circumstances not to forward the
message.”
 
What circumstances?
 
He would never ask, feeling fool enough
already.

           
He
pulled his back straight ready to walk out.
 
He didn’t have to take this and from a friend no less.

           
John’s
voice reeked with sarcasm.
 
“Cash, just a
minute I have a letter from Rae.
 
She
wouldn’t leave without asking about
your
welfare and writing a note.”
 
He snatched
up the letter.
 
The aroma of roses wafted
from the scented paper when he stuffed it in his vest pocket. He replaced the
rifle in the cabinet, gritted his teeth and walked to the saloon, a jolt of
desolation creeping into his gut.

           
He
downed a bowl of beans and two beers before Angie appeared.
 
Her eyes took in his shabby appearance.
 
Cash grew hard looking at her shapely
body.
 
“Are you busy?
 
I need a woman”

           
“Not
like that, you don’t.
 
Come upstairs,
I’ll give you a shave and a bath.”
 
Her
hips swayed seductively as she walked to the stairs in high-heeled slippers.
 
The curves of her body unhidden by the tight
fitting red dress, and shapely legs moved up the stairs before him.
 
He could see part way to her thighs.
 
He closed the door behind them and began
stripping his dirty trail-worn clothes.

           
“If
you want to wear your dress again, you had better take if off, now.”
 
The dress dropped to the floor just as Cash
grabbed her, pushed her onto the bed.
 
Suddenly, visions of Raeden drifted through his mind.
 
What the hell was he doing here?
 
“I think you’re right, Angie.
 
I do need a bath.
 
I’ll catch up with you later.”
         

***

Bathed and
clean-shaven he fell into bed.
 
The
stiffness in his leg from hours on horseback somewhat eased by the hot
water.
 
The injury showed immense
improvement by the moss poultice.
 
The
wound had nearly healed.

           
Cash
held the letter carrying Raeden’s scent then crumpled and tossed it in the
corner of the room.
 
He had no desire to
read the same hateful insults he had heard before.
 
Without thinking, he rose to grasp the paper,
smoothed out the folds, tore open the envelope and began reading.

 
My
Dearest Cash,

 
I do
hope this finds you well and happy.
 
You
will no longer be burdened with the responsibility of a wife you do not
want.
 
I can take care of myself.
 
I choose to remember the good times and
forget the petty quarrels.
 
Let’s just
get on with our own separate lives.
 
Sincerely with love, R

           
Cash
ripped the letter to shreds.
 
He would
rather read barbs than all this nonsense.
 
Did she intend to make him feel guilty with her condescension and sweet
salutations?
 
She belonged to him now
whether she liked it or not.
 
She could
cool her heels for a while.
 
He had plans
of his own to take care of but eventually, she would bend to his will.

           
Why
could she make him so angry?
  
He wanted
her because he loved her and desired to protect her.
 
He could never play the milksop and allow his
true feelings to show when she would only toss him aside for the one thing she
truly desired—her silly obsession to go to New York and become famous.

           
A
restless sleep overtook him just before dawn.
 
He awoke with the rising sun glaring off the snow, illuminating his
room.

           
He
hurriedly dressed then walked to the telegraphy to send two wires. The first to
resign officially from his post as Federal Marshall, the second to Senator
Wilcox.

While awaiting the
final confirmation of his appointment as senator, he would visit the ranch to
take inventory of the supplies and implements necessary to bring the ranch back
to the thriving cattle empire it once had been.
 
He would leave redecorating the house to Raeden, except for new sleeping
accommodations, eliminating any hesitation she might have about sleeping in a
bed he had shared with another woman.
 

On his way to
Washington, he would stop in St. Louis to pick up his wife then purchase
livestock in Kansas City to replenish his herd.
 
He thought it the perfect plan.

           
When
they reached the Capitol, he would secure suitable accommodations and begin
their new life as husband and wife.
 
Separate lives indeed.
 
Did she
think him a milquetoast?
 
He would
demonstrate to her he took the marriage seriously, even if she did not.

           
Before
leaving for the ranch, he went to check with Diane and find out how Raeden had
been doing since his departure.
 
He
kicked the mud from his boots before passing through the front door and Diane
confronted him immediately upon entrance.
 

“Well, Cash, don’t
tell me you decided to come home!”
 
Her
derisive tone set his jaw in defiance.
 
“You mentioned a gunshot wound, you seem fine now.”
 
She prattled nervously.
 
“If you had made contact sooner, she would
not have left so abruptly, I’m sure.”
 
She marched toward him and stared into his face, standing erect with her
hands clenched at her sides.
 
“Married
people don’t behave in such a way, Cash.”
 
Her face flushed with anger.

Perplexed by her hostility,
he stood his ground, thumbs casually tucked into his gun belt with legs
slightly apart and a smirk on his lips.
 
He would not stand there and justify his behavior.
 
Even though they had been friends for years,
she had no right to meddle in his affairs.

           
Wanting
to lash out, he remained composed.
 
“Is
she at her parent’s in St. Louis?”

  
        
Mike stepped up.
 
“Yes, she is, Cash, and it would be best if
you left her alone.”
 
Did everyone think
him not good enough for Raeden?
 
What the
hell?
 
He didn’t care what anyone
thought.
 
She had become his wife and he
would get her back.
 
Nothing would sway
him from his goal.

           
“It’s
for me to decide.
 
By the way, did the
rings I ordered arrive?”

           
“Yes,
they’re here, but we can send them back.”

           
“I’ll
just take them with me.”
 
He dropped
bills on the counter when Diane brought out the ring box.
 
He picked up his purchase, pushed his hat
back and casually strode to his mount.

           
After
informing John about his promotion, he collected his belongings from the hotel
room, now for John’s use and rode to the ranch, feeling free at last from the
burden of the past few years of living in his own solitary confinement.

Raeden alone did
this for him, liberating his heart to allow her entrance and capturing his soul
in the process as well.
 
He knew from now
on she was the only woman he would ever love.

***

Already late for
the second Session of Congress, he swiftly went through the motions to getting
everything in order for Slim to take over the expanding operation at the
ranch.
 
With Slim in charge, Cash would
have no worries, leaving him free to collect his bride in St. Louis and pursue
his new endeavor in Washington until the Session concluded.

The train ride to
St. Louis left him too much time to think.
 
Wintering in Canada had to be difficult for the Cheyenne.
 
Sitting Bull had been shot to death on the
Standing Rock Reservation and he feared for his friends’ safety.
 
He would have to work fast once in Congress
to halt the troops due in the Badlands the following spring.

Congress called
the special second Session to begin the first of December.
 
Since he was already overdue, the retiring
senator would attend until he could take over the seat.

           
He
arrived in St. Louis the day before Christmas, booked a room at a hotel then
shopped for Raeden, choosing a multi-carat emerald pendant matching her eyes,
with identical earrings and bracelet wrapped in fancy gold paper.
 
He would surprise her with a visit on her
birthday and hoped she would come willingly to his bed.

Cash had the
address left with him by Diane when they attended the failed wedding, now
knowing now the cause—she drove her ex-fiancé mad.

He had missed
being with her and feeling her beneath him.
 
He missed the look of sheer abandon in her large green eyes during the
throws of passion, her desire for him driving him wild.
 
Her soft heart and compassion for others had
taken him by surprise, making it so easy to love her as almost everyone did.

Nevertheless, the
lingering doubts plagued his mind and caused misgivings when he remembered the
bitter spite tossed at him, a dagger of resentment perforating his shell.

Regardless of his
welcome, he had no intention of leaving her in St. Louis.
 

Forty-four

           
The
festive air of Christmas in St. Louis, blanketed in white and decorated with
bright lights had a healing effect on Raeden, encircled with the love and
comfort of friends and family.
 
She had
not realized how much she missed shopping in the large department stores and walking
down sidewalks lined with tall, lighted buildings.

           
Sophia
had an enormous supper in the making for the evening and Raeden insisted on
helping her mother.
 
Many guests would
arrive including some of her old childhood friends.

           
Gazing
out her bedroom window overlooking the talc-covered grounds of the garden, a
sudden twinge of loneliness shrouded her thoughts.
 
She would be in New York City by New Year’s
Day, leaving her family and old friends behind.
 
What would it be like starting a new life alone in the city, no friends
or family for support and the monumental task before her?
 
Glancing about the room of her youth, she
became aware of how much she had changed in the past months away from her home.

           
She
shook her head free of the daydream and opened the armoire to pull out a heavy
cerise gown trimmed in silver to lie out on her bed along with black silk
lingerie and stockings.
 
She reached for
ornate high-healed black slippers to complete the ensemble.
 

           
Opening
the jewel box on her chest of drawers, her eyes dropped to the delicate band of
gold, reached out and grasped it to lay in the palm of her hand.
 
She once again let herself feel love for the
obelisk broad-shouldered man with the sly glimmer in dark eyes shaded with long
lashes, penetrating her soul.
 

           
When
tears stung her eyes, the ring dropped as if burning her fingers and she
snapped the lid closed.
 
Why could she
not just forget him and purge her system?
 
It’s not fair I should still feel
this way after all these weeks.
 
She
had once heard time healed a broken heart.
How
long will it take, anyway?

           
Fending
off the melancholia, she again reached into the jewel case, setting aside a jet
crystal Baroque necklace with matching earrings.

           
Curious
what Cynthia would be wearing, she walked down the hallway clad in a blue silk
wrapper and slippers and knocked on her door.