Echoes of Us (2 page)

Lucas had a good start on the bar, so it didn’t take long for me to get everything in place. Sneaking a few sips before the party was well within my rights, even if I wasn’t quite twenty-one.

“There you are,” Maggie said.

“Here I am,” I said. “You look okay.”

“I’m fine. Your mom is nice.” Maggie sat down on the grass and messed with her knee socks. “She asked a lot of questions about us.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. I deflected the questions by asking about the house and her birthday and your brother and sister.” She picked up the glass and the vodka bottle sitting by my foot and sniffed it. “You seem a little more relaxed.”

“I took the edge off,” I said.

She leaned against my legs and poured a shot before handing me the bottle to put back on the shelf.

“Rylan!”

“That would be my brother, Lucas,” I said, refilling the glass.

“Relax,” Maggie said, and leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek at the same moment my brother walked around the bar. He whistled, and I wanted to punch him for being such a jerk.

“Introduce me, baby brother,” Lucas said.

“Maggie Mae Stewart,” Maggie said. She rose and held out her hand.

“Really?” Lucas asked.

Maggie laughed. “Why would I lie about my name? And yes, before you ask, I’m named after the song.”

Lucas and Maggie continued chatting while I hauled most of the bags of ice to the bar and dumped them into the giant galvanized washtubs. Lucas may have carried one bag. Maggie added the beer, pop, and water bottles to the tubs. I did a final sweep of the bar and figured it would pass my mother’s scrutiny. Lucas cleared away the empty boxes, and we admired our work for a few minutes.

“Lunch,” my mother shouted from the porch.

Lucas was gone in a flash, dragging Maggie with him. I cringed when I saw my dad and sister waiting for me on the porch.

“Hi,” I said. “The place looks great.”

My sister rolled her eyes, and my dad yawned. It was the end of planting season, and I was sure he’d spent countless hours getting the crop in the ground.

“Did you get all the fields seeded?” I asked my dad.

“Yes. It was a godsend that your brother came home and helped me. I probably couldn’t have done it without him.”

The unspoken words screamed at me, and I tried not to feel guilty for leaving the farm. Farming was fine for some people, but it wasn’t for me. It never had been, and that was just another sore spot between my dad and me.

“That’s great, Dad,” I said. We stared at each other for a few uncomfortable moments. I waited for the criticism, but the second my dad started to say something about my unkempt hair, my sister shut him down.

“Dad,” Kelli said firmly. “You promised Mom.”

He clamped his mouth shut and left me standing on the porch with Kelli. She had the same dark circles under her eyes as Lucas and my dad.

“How are you?” Kelli asked.

“Okay,” I said carefully, trying not to frown at her. This was strange, because we usually didn’t do the small talk. We usually didn’t talk at all. The last time I’d seen her had been six months ago when my mother insisted we all meet at the halfway point. It had been a disaster. I’d lasted exactly two days before I hightailed it back to Chicago.

“How are you?”

“I’m….” She paused and closed her eyes. “I’m fine.”

The door opened, and Maggie came out carrying a tray with two plates stacked with sandwiches and two glasses of lemonade.

“Hi,” she said to Kelli. “I’m Maggie Mae Stewart. You must be Kelli.”

I nabbed my plate from Maggie and scurried away. Everyone was acting really weird, which meant I needed to spike my drink if I was going to make it through the evening

Lunch didn’t last long enough, and I spent the rest of the afternoon dodging strange questions and following my mom around as she barked orders to everyone.

When the people started arriving, my mom shifted into hostess and tour guide. I was almost positive everyone at the party had seen the house before.

The band showed up several minutes late, and my mom almost went into cardiac arrest. Maggie diffused the situation by asking about a woman who just arrived wearing a huge flowered hat and directing me to get my mother another cocktail.

“She’s interesting,” my brother whispered, pointing at Maggie. “Shocked the shit out of the folks. I think they thought your roommate would be a guy, and she’s definitely not a guy.”

“Don’t start with me, Lucas,” I said.

“I’m just making an observation,” Lucas said, holding up his hands in a mock surrender. He grabbed a drink and wandered away. I shook my head and went back to the bar to refresh my lemonade.

“Can I get a beer?”

The voice sounded like nails dragging down a chalkboard, and I considered crawling away before he could see me. Lucas’s best friend was a total ass and had tortured me at every opportunity he could find.

“Get it yourself,” I snarled when I stood up.

“Ah, the prodigal son returns.” Seth sneered.

“Fuck off,” I said, staring at him. Seth looked old, much older than he should. His out-of-date dress shirt was stretched tight across a stomach that hung over the waistband of his sagging jeans. His hair was noticeably thinner, and I couldn’t resist running my fingers through my thick blond hair and making sure Seth saw me do it.

It was hard to believe this was the guy who once beat the shit out of me because I got my ear pierced when I turned fifteen. My brother and his friends had worked harvest for my dad when they’d noticed it. Seth decided it wasn’t right for me to wear an earring. Said it looked gay, and gay boys weren’t allowed in this town. I had just started to think about my sexuality, but I’d never breathed a word about it to anyone. It freaked the shit out of me to think someone could tell I might like guys by things I wore.

Seth and Andrew had tackled me and ripped the earring out of my ear. They then proceeded to beat the crap out of me, while my brother watched, doing nothing.

“Come on, sweetheart, open the bottle for me,” Seth taunted, swinging his beer in front of my face.

Before I could respond, Maggie stepped in and grabbed his bottle, then twisted the cap off and flicked it back in his face. “Here you go, sweetie. Wouldn’t want you to fuck up your nails,” she said.

Seth stared at her, and she growled at him, sticking her tongue out so he could see the metal stud that rested in the center of her tongue. He backed away, stumbling over his feet, and I collapsed on the ground, laughing.

“I can’t leave you alone for one second,” she said.

“Thanks. He’s a fucking jerk. Can I remind you how much I hate this place?”

“Come on, babe, the party is in full swing. It’ll be easier to blend in if you at least try to have some fun,” Maggie said.

“Okay, let’s go check out the band. They don’t sound half-bad,” I said and burst out laughing again. There was no way we would ever blend in with this crowd, and I would proudly tell anyone I didn’t ever want to blend in here.

The evening progressed painfully slowly, but with Maggie’s help I managed to keep my lemonade nice and tart. I was almost numb enough to ignore everybody until two girls from my high school graduating class walked by and started whispering and pointing at Maggie.

She rolled her eyes and said something about their lack of style. They tried to say something shitty about Maggie’s hair. It didn’t work. I think one started to cry when Maggie told her she dressed like an extra from a bad ’80s music video.

“A splash of neon is a statement, but you look like a blinking sale sign hanging over a discount store,” Maggie said.

I snorted lemonade out my nose and clutched at my sides, laughing as the girls ran away. I was so thankful for her witty sarcasm I allowed her to drag me out onto the dance floor. The band was playing songs I’d never heard before, but Maggie was having a good time jumping around like an idiot. People stared at us, but most were buzzed enough to not really care.

The tempo of the music sped up, and Maggie spun me around so quickly I banged into someone. I turned around to apologize, and came face to face with someone I hadn’t seen since I was a senior in high school. I seriously could have survived the rest of my life without seeing this guy again.

“Rylan?” he said. “It’s me, Jesse.”

Images of a dark-haired boy flew around my head and made me dizzy. Jesse stepped toward me, holding out his hand. I stumbled back into Maggie because there was no way I was going to let this guy touch me. I twisted away before Jesse could grab my wrist and hightailed it off the dance floor with Maggie jogging behind.

“Slow down,” Maggie said. “What’s wrong?”

“The ghosts are out in full force tonight,” I muttered. I’d never told Maggie the story about Jesse and how he broke my heart, and I certainly wasn’t going to do it tonight. “I need another drink.”

There were questions on the tip of her tongue, but something in my face told her not to ask me anything now. “Okay, I’ll go get you something.” She eyed me. “I’ll be right back.”

“It’s fine,” I said. When Maggie walked away, I slid back into the dark of the evening. Kelli snuck up behind me and put her arms around my waist. I almost clocked her.

“Jeez, you’re wound up,” Kelli said.

“Why is Jesse Channing here?”

“He married Sierra Johnson, and Mom is good friends with Sierra’s mom,” Kelli said. “I think the whole town is here anyway. It was slated as the social event of the decade, you know. Is something wrong, Rylan?” She sounded concerned.

“No,” I answered quickly. I didn’t want her asking any questions about Jesse, so I covered by pointing out other people and asking questions about them. Kelli hung out with me until she saw one of her classmates. She waved at the girl and bounded away. I sank to the ground and leaned against a tree. Coming here had been a huge mistake.

Maggie finally showed up with more lemonade, which I gulped down before she could explain what took her so long.

“Better?”

“No,” I said, scowling at her.

“Demons?” she said.

“They’re everywhere,” I muttered.

Later in the evening, after we’d toasted my mother and eaten cake, people finally started to go home. Jesse approached me again, but I flipped him off, and Maggie puffed up like a mama cat and told him to get the hell away from us. He looked incredibly sad, and for one small moment, I actually felt bad, but he made his choice and it had almost destroyed me. I owed him nothing.

The band played its last song and packed their gear. Soon it was just a few stragglers hanging around. It didn’t take long for my dad to clear the rest of the people out. Maggie deserted me and went inside with Kelli to get ready for bed.

I headed toward the house, hoping to sneak inside, but my mom spotted me and waved me over. I glanced into the dark of the evening and considered making a run for the shed, but I was too tired and didn’t feel like sleeping with the cats. I slid into a chair and stared at her. My dad sat down next to her and grinned.

“That was a great party, huh, Kimmy.” He put his arm around her. He must have been feeling no pain. My dad wasn’t a guy who hugged anything on a regular basis.

“Yes, Davis, it was. Thank you, and thank you for coming, Rylan.”

She made it sound like I was some random guest. I didn’t know how to respond.

“So, boy, how long have you been dating Maggie?” His speech was slightly slurred.

“I’m not dating Maggie,” I said.

“Why not?” my dad asked.

“She’s my roommate, not my bedmate.”

“Rylan,” my mom snapped.

“What?” I said innocently.

“She seems like a nice girl,” my mom said. “She has a strange sense of fashion, though. And all those tattoos. Those things are permanent.”

Maybe it was the liquor, or the snide comments from my mom about Maggie that made me snap. “I’ll be sure to let her know,” I said sarcastically.

“No woman is going to date you when you’re living with another girl,” my dad said.

“Fine by me,” I snorted.

“What’s that mean?” My dad set his beer on the table and stood up. He still created an imposing figure, but I wasn’t a kid anymore. I wasn’t going to shrink away this time. Plus I had the added bonus of being slightly drunk. It fueled my bravery.

“What do you think it means, Dad?” I asked, standing up and putting my hands on the table to face him.

“Don’t get smart with me, boy,” my father snapped.

“Davis, Rylan. Stop it,” my mom said sharply. “I’m sure Rylan didn’t mean anything.”

“Really, Mom? I’m pretty sure I did mean something,” I said.

“Don’t talk to your mother using that tone,” my father snarled.

“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath.

“I could cut you off,” he threatened. “School costs a hell of a lot of money and you can’t even find the time to call your mother. Maybe if you came home for a visit.”

I started to speak but my dad started yelling again.

“And another thing, why are you living with that strange girl? I think—”

I slammed my hand on the table. “I don’t give a shit what you think, Dad. I know you guys don’t like me. I can deal with that, but Maggie is my best friend, so leave her out of this.”

My dad spluttered, and my mother looked horrified. It would have been easy to walk away from this argument, but I’d had enough. I wanted to sink the final nail into my coffin and be done with them.

“There’s never going to be a girl. Ever. I’m not interested in girls.” I dropped my empty glass on the table and headed toward the door to collect my things and get the fuck out. No way I was staying in this fucking house. Maggie and Kelli stood in the doorway, wide-eyed and frozen.

“Rylan!” my dad roared. “Don’t you walk away from me. We are not done with this conversation.”

I sighed and took a deep breath before I turned to face him. “Do you really want to continue, Dad? Would you like me to spell it out for you in plain and simple terms?”

“Rylan,” Maggie whispered in a warning tone.

Years of pent-up feelings rose to the surface and exploded out of me. My parents made me feel like it was my fault for being different, like I did it just to hurt them. I always felt like I needed to apologize every time I came down the stairs.