Ecstasy (3 page)

♥♥♥♥♥

She
felt a warm hand holding hers and when she opened her eyes, she saw Craig
hovering over her. The hospital room didn't fit with her health, as Monica was
at the top shape of her life. 'What the hell happened? Why am I here?'

"Hey,
good-looking! It's good to see you back!" he said and his words served to
bring her back to reality.

"You
passed out in the cafeteria and Lisa called me. The doctor said you were
overstressed and I feel terrible for overlooking it! Oh, dear! I am so sorry!
You told me, but I didn't listen! Will you ever forgive me?
Please
forgive me!"

His
pleas sank into her mind and she recalled her discussion with Lisa.

"Forgive
you
?"

"Yes,
please forgive me! Please, darling! You know my heart and you know I can't live
without you! You are all that I desire and while it's true I don't deserve you,
I will do whatever it takes to earn your heart and keep it!"

His
face was full of tears and Monica knew Craig too well to think that he might be
faking it. She knew his honesty to be genuine and his heart to be made of gold.
That's why she settled on him so long ago and that's why he was the one who was
her only match. She worked so hard to get here, she left her old habits and the
other world behind her and now it was all unraveling around her again. She was
on the verge of loosing him, her job, her life, her everything. For the first
time since he knew her, Monica burst into tears.

He
held her in his arms a little confused about what to say and he felt her pain.
He let her cry and she sobbed on his shoulder until she fell asleep.

Craig
was still by her side when she came to.

"The
doctor said you should take it easy for a few days and your boss insisted you
take a few days off. I've talked to him and I told him I'll take care of you.
We can go home whenever you feel you have the strength. I know you don't like
hospitals, baby."

His
words calmed her and she felt secure once more.

"You
really do love me, don't you?" she whispered.

Her
words took him aback a little, because he thought she knew that by now. But
that was neither the place or the time to ask her questions of that sort. She
was first and foremost and all that counted for him.

"Of
course I love you, darling. And I'd do anything for you.
Anything
."

His
apartment was like an oasis of peace, tranquility, hope and self-confidence for
Monica. It gave her all these things and she thought about all that it happened
while her head rested on his pillows.

Craig
made his way from the kitchen with hot cup of tea in his hand and a smile on
his face.

"I
bet you'd like some tea, darling!"

"You
bet right," she answered with a low tone. Her strength was not all back,
but she knew she was in good hands. In his hands.

"Josh
said not to come back to work until you're well on your feet again."

"Josh?
Who is that?"

"Ha!
Your boss! Remember him?"

Monica
looked a little lost, then as she regained some of her consciousness, she
smiled a little.

"Yeah,
I remember him... Smart ass!"

"And
he also said that if you need a vacation for couple of weeks, he's more than ok
with it. All I gotta do is to pick up the phone and call him."

Monica
expected nothing less from Craig and he was all too glad to take care of her.

"I've
also talked to my dad. It looks as if we won't start the exploratory stage with
Halliburton until well into the next month and I've got more than enough time
built up for vacation." Craig's father was understanding of him, as usual.
It was the very thing that allowed them to run the company they owned together.
And Craig hoped, just like his father, to take it over altogether at some time,
even though he did so much to build it.

Suddenly,
worries started flooding her mind again and her hands began to shake. Yet the
tea made its effect and Monica, ever a master of self-restrain, composed
herself.

"Oh,
what do you have in mind?"

"Well,
I've been thinking about that 'bucket list' of yours and I think it's time we
played out some of it. I remembered that you've always wanted to go see the
Blue Lagoon and I believe it's time!"

Her
heart murmured a little as his words were more than she expected. Here was the
man who loved her, ready to put on hold his biggest career move, just to take
care of her and her needs! What more could a woman want from a man?

"You're
kidding, right? What about Halliburton? Don't you need to prep for it? I
remember you guys have all that licensing stuff you have to file with the EPA!
Who's going to do that if you are in
Fiji
?"

Craig
smiled once more.

"Let
me worry about it, darling. I've already taken care of all that."

She
sat up on the pillows, put the tea cup down and unfurled her arms toward him.

"Come
here, please."

"Who
am I to say 'no'?" he said as he walked toward the bed.

She
hugged him, kissed him and then hugged him again.

"Let
me think a bit about it. Ok?"

"Ok,
darling. I have to run over the office anyway. There's food in the
refrigerator, Marcus is already fed, and you just rest."

She
looked at the cat who was sleeping on the window, and thought about all that he
was doing for her.

"And
don't hesitate to call me if you need me! I'll be back in a couple of hours,
anyway," he added.

She
smiled a little, and reassured him.

"Ok,
I promise."

He
kissed her forehead, grabbed his briefcase, and walked out.

As
she sat in the bed, Monica tried to gather her thoughts.

'Oh,
God! What have I done! What should I do? Must I do anything? Yes, I must! That
bitch is dead serious and she will ruin my life. I must do something. But what
about Craig? He would never go along with something like this! He's crazy about
me, and the boy just absolutely loves me! He would never consent to fuck
another woman, and he'd never understand why I would even ask him! He'd have to
be drunk to consent! Yes! That's it! I must get him drunk! Oh, gosh, I am
selling out the love of my life! Oh god!'

She
looked over to the nightstand and as she knew Craig, he always took care of
details. There was her cell, fully charged and waiting for her. She reached for
it, and dialed Lisa's number.

"I
see you came about your senses, Monica!" smarted Lisa.

"Stop
the bullshit, Lisa, and listen. I will do it, but you must do exactly as I tell
you."

"I'm
all ears."

"You
and Carl are going to take a trip with me and Craig to
Fiji
."

"To
where?
Fiji
? Are you crazy? Perhaps you haven't got
your senses back, after all!"

"Do
you want this to happen or not?"

"Ok,
ok. Let me think. When?"

"In
the next day or so. I'll let you know soon."

"Why
can't we stay States side?"

"Do
as I tell you, or you do as you please."

"Ok,
Monica, ok! Cool your horses! Call me and let me know when. No emails,
please."

Monica
hung up and thought to herself. 'No, I won't give you anymore fuel, you bitch.
You don't have to worry about it!'

♥♥♥♥♥

The
key in the door told her that he was back. She straightened up her shoulders,
looked in the mirror at her hair and waited for Craig to come in.

"Well!"
he said joyfully. "I see you're up and running again! What a thrill! So
glad to see you better, baby!"

Monica's
heart dropped through the floor as she thought she was about to sell her man
just to save her skin, but she recollected the choices she had just as quickly.

"Yeah,
I do feel much better. Thanks to you!"

"Oh,
why? I haven't done anything!"

"Of
course you have, you big boy! And I am grate..." she stumbled for a
second. "I am grateful for it!"

He
sat by her bed side and caressed her face. He didn't have to say anything. His
eyes said it all. Her heart felt bitter and for the first time in her life,
Monica felt a tinge of hatred. Hatred toward herself, toward what she was about
to do, toward the world and yes, toward him, too, for being so nice to her.

Soon,
the old Monica was back and she controlled her feelings and bottled them up
behind the walls of her heart, where only she knew how little light was there
and how much dark surrounded her inner world.

"Ok.
Look, I've been thinking about this since you left and I think you're right.
Perhaps we should go to
Fiji
, as you suggested."

His
eyes glittered with happiness and his chest seemed to vibrate with joy!

"That
is the best news I've heard in a long while! Ok! It's done! I'll get the
tickets today and I'll do all the planning! You just relax!"

"Well,
but wait. There is something I must do. You know I've been working on that new
format project with Carl and Lisa for a while and I really can't afford to fall
behind much more. It would be almost impossible to do it without them. So, I
called them and asked them if they could come with us. I hope you don't
mind..."

"
Carl
?
Lisa?" His eyes' flickers went out just as fast they came on a minute
before. Her words just took the wind out of him. His enthusiasm vanished with
the blow of her words, like a piece of paper in the wind.

"You
know I can't ever just do nothing, even for a day! I can't just sit idled. And
it would really help me tremendously. It will be a nice mixture, you'll see!
And you'll get to like Carl with time. Hell, we went to college together, so we
should get along better," she pleaded with Craig.

His
thoughts were much deeper than she anticipated and she calculated it best to
leave them run their course. Craig did best when left alone.

Finally,
he leaned over to her and gave her the answer that she wanted.

"Ok.
If this will make you happy, let's do it."

Her
face lit up like the sun and with stretched arms, she reached for him and
hugged him.

"You'll
love it, too. You'll see!"

"I
hope so. I really do! Ok, I am going back over to the office to tie up some
loose ends and to make the reservations. I should be back in a couple of
hours."

Once
again, Monica was alone.

She
picked up her cell and in less than a minute, Lisa was on the other end.

"Ok,
we're on. What about you and Carl?"

"It
took a little convincing to do, but yeah, we're on, too.
Fiji
it is."

'How
did Lisa and Carl ever get together? She never liked his sorry ass,' wondered
Monica all alone.

'More
importantly, how do I get a hold of that drive and all the copies she might
have of them? There's got to be a way to do that.'

Her
thoughts raced at all the options she could think of. Then, her hand reached
for her cell and dialed her office.

"Brent,
do you happen to know that new intern down at the news desk?" she asked of
her secretary.

"Ahhh,
which one? We have about several new ones down there."

"I
think her name is Jennifer."

"Let
me look at the roster." Monica waited impatiently while Brent was doing
the search. She hired hm because he was efficient in his work. She wasn't
wrong.

"Monica,
do you mean Jennifer Lawson? In fact, she's the only Jennifer we have among the
interns."

"That's
her. Can you give me her number, please?"

"Sure.
Be glad to."

Armed
with the number, Monica contemplated on her plan a little more. 'Fire can only
be fought with fire,' she quipped to herself. Her fingers dialed Jennifer's
number quickly.

"Hello?"
Jennifer's voice came across the line just like Monica imagined. The girl
missed no opportunity to flirt on all levels that she could. She certainly knew
how to advertise herself.

"Jennifer?"

"This
is she."

"This
is Monica Schaeffer at the News Desk. I understand you are new with us and I'd
like to take the opportunity to meet with you and share some ideas on a new
investigation. Would you be available to meet some time later today?"

Indeed,
Jennifer never missed any opportunity and her answer reflected her eagerness.

"Absolutely
no problem! Would you like me to come to your office?"

"Ah,
no," Monica answered quickly. "There is a Starbucks across the street
from the Eldorf. Can you meet me there around
3 pm
?"

"Deal.
See you there! And thanks!"

"Don't
mention it. See ya there."

The
Starbucks was packed with people of all ages, but it seemed most of them were
not CNN employees. Monica liked that.

"Oh,
yes! Now I remember you!" quipped Jennifer. "You run the News Desk,
don't you? I wasn't sure when I heard your voice over the phone."

"Yes,
I do! What a good memory! That is good for a reporter!" Monica tried her
hand at some cheap flattering method. To her surprise, the pneumatic blonde in
front of her didn't seem to buy into it.

"I've
always wanted to meet you, Ms. Schaeffer! You've been my..."

"Please
call me Monica," she interrupted firmly. 'I am really not in the mood for
PR bologna at this time of the day,' she thought to herself. "So, how do
you like it at CNN?"

"Oh,
I absolutely love it! I am looking forward to working here full time!"

"Well,
as you probably know, that takes a lot of work. And you must prove yourself,
just like we've all done it."

"I
have no problem with either one of these things. They're part of life. We all
do it."

Monica
measured her quietly and wondered what she meant. Perhaps this was not a bad
idea after all.

"I
am glad to hear that. So, what do you like most, besides work?" Jennifer
took a full minute to reflect on her answer.

"To
uncover things."

"Oh?"

"Yes.
To get to the bottom of things that affect people. They're important to all of
us."

"How
do you mean?"

"Well,
we all know that deals must be made behind close doors sometimes. That's no
secret and it's really not a big deal. It's just human nature. What's
interesting is how these deals happen behind close doors and how these people
think while they do them."

"Please
be more specific," insisted Monica.

"For
example, we all know that Halliburton's gonna explore soon on the Southern
slope of
Alaska
. That's no secret. And it's also no secret
that the licensing of this is contingent upon the EPA. That, too, is no secret.
What we need to know now is not the 'why' and the 'when', because those things
are easy to answer. We'd do good to understand the 'how' of all that. We really
need to know how this whole thing works."

Monica's
patience was clearly challenged. She didn't think this little girl would be
able to think 'big' but there she was making perfect sense. If one could tell
how things are shaped up by people, one may just be able to predict their
actions in the future. It was kind like a chess game in which one of the
opponents knew the other's actions based on how they thought.

"Good
point. Do continue, please."

"So,
if we can tell how things happen between people under different forms of
stress, then every time we come across that person under that particular form
of stress, well, we can tell what they'll do - most likely."

"I
see," agreed Monica. "That's very interesting. Very interesting,
indeed. Do you think this is true for everybody in all walks of life?"

"I
am not sure I understand the question."

Monica
wondered if the woman was patronizing her or she really didn't get it.

"I
mean, do you think this is true for relations between two people, as
well?"

"Sure.
That's why I like to get close to people and spend time with them. The more
time I spend with them, the more I get to understand the 'how' of their
thinking."

"Even
on personal basis?"

"Especially
on personal basis! This thing called 'professionalism' is nothing but an
identity crisis for most of us."

"What?"
Jennifer's words gathered every bit of Monica's attention. Rarely did she focus
so much on such a little thing like this, but this was more than just interesting.

"You
see, there is no way to 'teach' professionalism. A guy learns it because
society's rules around him say what he should do and when. But that's all OJT.
It has nothing to do with learning 'professionalism'. It has everything to do
with learning the rules of the environment he has to function in."

"Please
make it clearer for me!"

"Ok.
Here it is. The way a person's brought up to think and act at home is not the
same way as at work. He can be whatever he wants at home, but most of the time
that's not the same thing that he must be at work. Hence, he has to be two
different people. He has to be a 'professional' at work and a casual man at
home. The two require two different attitudes, two different looks and even different
clothing! So, there you have two different men, even though both may be
embodied in the same person. In other words, the man serves two masters and
must be a different individual for each of them. The two identities that he
takes on are very different from one another. And that's where you have an
'identity crisis'. We never really know which man we deal with, so we must know
how they think. We must know what 'identity' they take under what conditions,
so to say."

Monica
was stunned and she looked it.

"Think
about it," Jennifer tried to clear things up a little more for her.
"These things are so rooted in our world that we've got so used to them we
don't even pay attention to them any more, but they are true! Look at how we
dress at home and how we dress for work! We're two completely different people!
Would you want your man to come home and treat you the same way he treats his
fellow workers? Most likely not!"

"Ah,
no," admitted Monica sheepishly, without thinking that doing so would give
Jennifer the upper hand. Just because you agree with someone, doesn't mean you
have to let them know. And you never want to let them know that you sweat.

"Right!
He has to be a different person at home than he is at work!"

"Are
you saying we should drop 'professionalism' altogether?" Monica asked,
finally regaining herself.

"No!
I am not! I am just pointing out that we don't need to be so hypocrite about
it. We don't need to pretend to be this or that kind of great person, when in
fact we're just like everybody else."

"Ah,
I see. But we must maintain some line between our personal and professional
life, Jennifer. Don't you think so?"

"How
do mean that?"

"Well,
since you've mentioned 'my man', let's use that for example. I wouldn't want to
make love to him in public."

Jennifer
stopped and looked at her intensely. Her look almost intimidated Monica.

"Love
or sex?"

"Love,
to be sure!"

"Well,
that must be a little better defined. Let's say you're too busy to go out for
lunch and 'your man' brings you food at your office. Or even better, he brings
you food
and
flowers! Wouldn't you give him a kiss for that, even if it
was in public?"

"Absolutely!"

"And
isn't that a form of 'love'?"

"Yes,
it is," answered Monica a little puzzled.

"Well,
then you just 'made' love to him at your office and in public!"

"Jennifer,
that's completely different now...!"

"Is
it, really?" interrupted Jennifer brazenly. Monica began to admire her
guts and eloquence.

"By
making love to 'my man' I meant sleeping with him," she let out quickly,
without much consideration for the appropriateness of the subject with an
intern.

"Ah!
If sleeping with him is what you mean, then yes, that should be kept away from
the 'professional' life."

"And
from the public, wouldn't you agree?"

"Not
necessarily. That depends on the two people engaging in that affair."

Monica
recalled that in the past she felt the same. There were even some short flicks
she made while in college that attested to that past. But this was in the
past
and it proved too much for her tastes now.

"Excuse
me, are you saying that making love, ah no, having sex should be a thing of
public display?"

"Dancing
is one form of sexual display and affection, but people have no problem with
doing it public. It's not as intimate as sex, but that's only a difference of
degree, not of kind - it's still a display of sexual affection, among other
things."

"That,
too, is quite a bit different!"

"It's
'different' only because we were trained to believe that! People decided that
'dancing' in public is a lot more acceptable than having sex in public. And
then we can also get into some dances that borderline sex - and they too become
unacceptable all of the sudden! So, it's all just as hypocrite as the
'professionalism' thing."

"Ah,
whoa! That is something else!"

"I
hope I haven't gone too far," said Jennifer apologetically as her demeanor
changed suddenly.

"Not
at all. Please do continue."

"Think
about all these triple x places down on
Hollywood
boulevard. People know what kind of movies
are shown there. So, people who go in there know what to expect. Why don't we
have a similar place where people can have sex in public and be watched by
others? A place where people would know well in advance what to expect when
they go there?"

"That
is a quite 'unorthodox' way of thinking, Jennifer." quipped Monica. 'The
girl is brazen, but that's what it takes these days,' she then added to
herself.

"Monica,
I bet you that if any one of these green energy companies around here figured
out a way to power cars with energy from public sex displays, we'd be showered
with fuck-parks all over the place! And people would be more than glad to
suspend these so-called morals when their pocketbook would come in play. Hell,
we could even tax these shag-flags!"

"Ok,
I must ask! How would you tax sex?" Monica's curiosity got the best of
her.

"Oh,
well, we just hire some Democrats. They're good at this sort of thing. But
these days any politician would do."

They
both laughed.

"And
how would you convince the city hall to issue them a permit?"

"That
is easier than you might think. All you need is a politician like Bill Clinton
to tell people such parks are a way for people to express their views - like
freedom of expression! And you're done! But seriously now, how would it be any
different than drive-through theaters? You could easily put a drive-through a
park like that and charge a fee for each car driving in! Think of the money
that would come from it! The place would be full of teenagers and folks over
eighteen and that would be one hell of a sex education course! Young guys would
learn how to please their girlfriends in vivo without knocking them up the
first time they bed them!"