Eden's Creatures (21 page)

C
al stood in the shadows of his house, shirtless and shivering in the cold. For the first time in his life, he didn’t have to fear what was inside, yet he needed a minute to check his shredded emotions. His mother and Landon didn’t need to see the hell he was in.

The images continued to play ruthlessly through his mind. Stassi’s pain. Julius’s hurt. Gilad’s fury. He had let them all down, but himself most of all. He’d had a real family for a brief moment in time and now they were lost to him.

The cold finally won out and he went inside. He made his way through the darkened quiet and went into the room he shared with his brother. Landon lay asleep on his small bed, snoring like a baby hippo.

Cal tiptoed over and sat on the edge of the bed. His brother stirred, but didn’t wake. Guilt flooded through Cal at the sight of Lan’s innocent face. The poor kid had just lost his father and Cal had done nothing but run off to play warrior. Well, that wouldn’t be happening any longer. He vowed then to spend more time with Landon and give him the stability he deserved.

Cal got up and left the room to go find his mother. He knocked softly on her door.

“Who’s there?” a slurred voice asked. “Cal? Is… tha’ you?”

Cal shook his head.
She’s drunk.
He had so hoped that she would keep it together for Landon. Especially after her show of confidence the night of the murder.

He opened the door and the reek of alcohol almost knocked him out. His mother was sprawled on the bed, an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. “It’s me, Mom.”

She pointed a blurry eye at him. “Oh, it’s you. I’m not feeling too good, Cal.”

He picked up the bottle and put it on the nightstand. “I can see why.”

“Oh, don’t you judge me,” she mumbled groggily. “I’ve just loss my husband in case you’ve forgotten.”

“No, I haven’t forgotten.”

“Feed Lan when he wakes up, will you?” she asked and turned on her side to snuggle deeper into the covers.

“Yeah, Mom, I’ll take care of it.” Disgusted, he turned and walked out.

He spent the rest of the day cleaning up the house and playing ball with Landon, but his heart wasn’t in it. With every passing hour he became more and more depressed.

He went to bed by seven o’clock that evening. Big mistake. The shadow dream was back, worse than ever. The chase was longer, the capture more brutal. Black fingers clawed and ripped his skin. Held him down and closed around his throat until he died. Over and over again.

After that, sleep evaded him.

It was the middle of the night by the time he made his first visit to the clearing. Of course, he didn’t know then just how many there would be.

He sat down on one of the stumps around the fire pit, hoping to feel some hint that Stassi might be out there. Watching.

He felt nothing.

Frustration raged through him. His need to be with her defied reason yet the irresistible longing burned fiercely within. Like a sickness, it festered inside, growing, becoming more potent. He had to have her back if only to make him well again. With a snarl, he leapt to his feet. “Stassi! Stassi! Please talk to me!”

No response.

“I miss you,” he said softly. “I really, really miss you. Just tell me what I have to do to make it right because life kind of sucks without you. I know you feel the same, Stassi. You proved that to me in the grotto.” He dragged a hand down his face. “Who’s going to kiss you now? Hold your hand? Touch you and love you like I will? Gilad?” He laughed bitterly into the empty, mocking trees. “You know, I knew right from the start that you were special. From the minute you stood up to the warriors and hauled me into your nest, I knew.” He chuckled in remembrance. “You wouldn’t have done that unless you saw something in me you liked, right? So why can’t you accept that I did what I thought was right and forgive me? Why can’t you accept me the way I am? You were right to call me broken. I am. I admit it. But you have all the missing pieces. Only you can make me whole. I love you.”

The silence grated away at him.
Why won’t she answer?

“You gave me something I’ve never had before, Stassi. You made me feel wanted. Pathetic, I know, but it felt kind of nice to know that someone in this fucking world cared about me. Please don’t take that from me now that I know what it feels like. I’m begging you.”

He sat there for another two hours before finally giving up, trembling and crying. “I won’t give up on you, Stassi!” he screamed. “I won’t give up on us. Ever!”

Stassi watched Cal pull his jacket tight around his chin and stumble away, the clump of his hair dangling from her fingertips. How easy it would be to just step through the veil. Go to him. Comfort him. Her aching body urged her to do just that. Yet she didn’t. And wouldn’t.

Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks.

You don’t understand the Faedin way, Cal. You never did. My people could forgive anything but a betrayal of your duty. Anything but that.

She turned to go back to the village and sprang back in surprise at the sight of Gilad.

“How touching,” he said with a patronizing bite to his words.

She turned her head from him and scrubbed harshly at the tears on her face. “Did you come to take pleasure in my pain, Gilad?”

He shook his head. “No. I never want to see you hurt. I know it will take time for you to get used to, but I will be a good mate to you. It is what your sire wants.”

To her horror, she burst out crying, howling with a pain so deep, so visceral, it sent her crashing to her knees.

Gilad flinched back, looking at her as if she were crazy.

Maybe I am.

“What are you doing? Stop this nonsense! You are Faedin, not some sniveling human!”

She had no breath, no will, no ability to answer him. So she didn’t.

The days sped by. Cal felt a hundred years older. His steps were slow, his mind sluggish. Food had no taste to him. He had lost weight. The four walls of his bedroom always felt like they were closing in on him. He would often wake in the middle of the night, fighting for breath, soaked in sweat, heart thudding against his ribcage.

He took no pleasure in anything. Even Landon had noticed and started to find any reason he could to spend the night at their grandmother’s house or at a friend’s, leaving Cal alone with their drunken mother.

The nights were tortured with unanswered questions. Was there something else he could have said? Was Stassi even listening to his daily pitiful rants? He warned her over and over about what the Elder-That-Was-Not-An-Elder had said about the serpent awakening, but he received no more response to that than anything else.

Who is this Elder? Why did he seek me out?
And why did he say that it was important for the Faedin to become more human? If Gai’tan really was plotting an escape, they would need to be more ruthless to fight him, not more human, right?
It’s clear I’m missing something, but what?

The hollow pit in his stomach grumbled loudly, reminding him it had been a while since he last ate. He got out of bed and went into the kitchen in search of food. Unfortunately, the cupboards were as hollow as his stomach. Finally deciding on a box of stale crackers, he leaned back against the counter and popped a handful into his mouth.

A loud curse preceded his mother stumbling out of her bedroom, a housecoat wrapped askew around her middle.

He watched her come.

“Oh, good morning,” she mumbled when she saw him. She avoided looking into his eyes these days and kept her head down as she went into the cupboard for a coffee cup.

“I’d say good morning back to you, but it’s two in the afternoon.”

She turned her face to the side. “Is it really that late?”

“Yep.”

“Where’s Landon?”

“At Grandma’s house. He’s been there for two days.”

A self-conscious hand went to her tangled hair and pushed it off her face. “Really? I… I didn’t realize.”

Cal pushed away from the counter, spun a chair around and straddled it. “Mom, what do you think when you look at me?”

She sighed heavily. “Are you really going to start up with this shit again?”

“What do you think?” he persisted. “A job well done? Best thing that ever happened to me? Or, wish he didn’t exist?”

She slammed her cup on the countertop. “What are you rambling about, Cal?”

“Do you love me?”

“What?” she asked again.

“You heard me.”

She paused as though the idea was complex and needed time to decipher. “Yes… yes, of course I do.”

“You haven’t told me in a long time.”

“Just because I haven’t said it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

“Just because you say it now doesn’t mean it’s true, either. Words are empty unless they’re backed up by action.”

She turned to face him, her eyes finally meeting his. “Why are you talking like this?”

“Because I’m not going to be around forever, Mom. I want you to get yourself together and start taking care of your son.”

She seemed genuinely shocked at his words. “I take care of him!”

“No, you don’t, and with Ross gone, Landon needs you now more than ever.”

“I do my best, Cal. Jesus Christ, what do you want from me?”

“Look, I get that you won’t be singing lullabies any time soon, but you need to be there for him. Stop being selfish.”

Her eyes flared in anger, hot and sharp. “Cal, how dare you! I’m not—” She must have thought better of the lie and swallowed it back. A long, uncomfortable silence descended between them. Thick and ugly. Without a shred of space for her to wiggle free. “What do I have to do?” she finally whispered.

“It’s not hard. Put him first.”

He shoved himself off the chair and walked away.

An hour later, Cal found himself back at the clearing. Since he had long grown tired of hearing his own voice, he wondered how Stassi must feel — if she was even listening at all, which was doubtful.

“I’m back,” he announced with an awkward smile to no one. “Although you probably won’t like what I’m about to say.” He ran a hand back through his hair and began to pace. “You see, I’ve been thinking about everything that happened, and I own it, Stassi. Not only do I own it, but if I had to do it all over again, I’d do the same thing. Even if I knew that I’d lose you by doing it.” He sat on the ground with his arms draped over his knees. “I could never hurt a child, Stassi. Never. Even a Fallen child. It’s how I’m made. I’m not sure why because God knows I haven’t had a lot of role models in my life, but it’s me. Cal Taylor. And I’ve come to realize that he’s an all-right kind of guy. He’s not perfect. He’s got a few broken pieces, but he tries to do what’s right even at cost to himself.”

He waited to see if his words would have any effect. Waited to see if she would finally show herself.

She didn’t.

“You can’t have Faedin Cal without human Cal, Stassi. It doesn’t work that way.” He stood. “But you’ve made your point. I won’t be bothering you any more.”

Dejected, he left the clearing and made his way into town. He wasn’t sure where he was going, only that he didn’t want to go back to the depressing house he shared with his mother. Maybe he’d go to his grandmother’s house and pick up Landon. It was time his brother came home.