EDGE (45 page)

“I’m going to kill that old fart.” Though she might have to bed him first. The reality of that thought galled her. She couldn’t get out of her head what he’d said about being the best she’d ever had. Damn dangling carrot. She’d never been able to resist temptation.

Linnet turned with the intention of chopping carrots for dinner, and noticed Mel watching her. “What do you say we kick all the men off The Edge? They only bring heartache.”

“Yeah, but they’re good for cutting and carrying wood.” Mel gave her a half smile that didn’t reach her sad eyes.

She sighed. “Not the best of trade-offs.” Instead of returning to the kitchen, she dropped into the chair across from Mel. Her body suddenly felt heavy with every one of the years she refused to admit. “What are you reading there?” She indicated the book Mel had clutched to her chest.

“Uh…something Cache gave me to read.”

Linnet tucked away her mad and concentrated on Mel. “What are you going to do about him?”

“I don’t know. What are you going to do about Ramsey?”

She grimaced. “Things were sure a lot simpler a month ago.”

Mel looked at the book in her hands. “Talk about your understatements.”

Something wasn’t right with Mel. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.” Mel shifted on the couch, wincing as she moved her leg. “Actually, I’ve wanted to ask you…”

“Yes?” Linnet prompted.

“You know all about my past now.” Mel smoothed the wrinkles out of the blanket covering her legs. “Does it change anything between us?”

Linnet gave Mel a soft smile. “I’ve known who you where since that first day you showed up on The Edge.”

Mel’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “Y-you’ve known? All this time? You never said anything.”

Linnet shrugged. “Figured, if you wanted to talk about it, you would.”

Mel fell back against the couch.

“That isn’t the only thing bothering you, is it?” She gave Mel a minute to respond and when she didn’t, continued, “You’re in love with that man, and love makes a woman stupid.”

“I’m not in love—”

“Fool yourself if you want. You aren’t fooling me. I’ve been there and experienced it all before. Take it from one who’s danced that devil’s waltz down the aisle six times. You’re so deep in love with that man you’re mired in it.”

“I can’t love him, Linnet.”

“You can’t help who you fall in love with, sweetie. My marriage to Jake-the-rake was proof of that. Take my advice—” she shrugged “—for what it’s worth. It isn’t the love part that gets you. It’s the falling. As long as you keep your eye on something solid, you’ll land on your feet.”

“What if he isn’t the right man? How do I know he won’t betray me?”

“Sometimes you just have to leap off that edge and hope your heart knows what the hell its doing.”

“I’m not much of leaper.”

“Picture your life without that person in it and then what your life might be like if you did jump.” Damn, she hated when she gave advice she needed to take herself.

She wasn’t ready to forgive Ramsey and jump into his bed just yet. She needed to stay mad and let him wonder if she was going to come around.

It wouldn’t hurt him one bit to stew.

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTY-
O
NE

Mel reread the last entry in Cache’s journal. Shutting her eyes, she softly closed the book. A tear leaked out from under her lashes.

What the hell did she do now? Did she trust in her heart, like Linnet had advised or listen to her head? It hadn’t steered her wrong since she’d gotten control of her life.

Control. What a laugh. Nicole was right, control was only an illusion, and how hard was that to swallow?

She looked outside to the view. Storm clouds were rolling in. Half the sky was bright, blue, and clear, while the other half seethed, rolling over the horizon in a gray-purple bruise. She felt like those clouds bruised and battered from the inside out, seething with no outlet.

She was a prisoner in the environment she alone had created. Had literally locked herself away like Nicole had stated. Could she let herself out? Free herself? Or had she become too comfortable in her cell? She’d insulated herself in order to protect herself. It had worked. She was stronger, more independent. Capable.

But was that enough?

If she continued in the same vein, would she be weak, bitter? Alone?

She looked at the journal, and traced the embossing on the front. Like it or not, she believed Cache loved her. She’d read his private thoughts, his desires, his fears, and his pain. Pain over losing his friends. Guilt over having been the one to survive. Fear he’d never have full use of his leg and therefore not be the man Mel needed in her life.

The need to move crawled under her skin and helped push through the pain of getting to her feet. So much was racing through her mind it was making her crazy lying around. With the use of Cache’s cane, she made her way outside.

The wind whipped her hair across her face, and she welcomed the slap. Salt stung her cheeks and her eyes watered as the storm advanced, the air smelling wet and threatening. The light of the ever-burning sun darkened as rolling thunderheads smothered it. Waves barked as they tumbled upon the shore. Mel embraced it all and took the trail heading up the mountain. Her gait was slow but steady. She rounded the corner of Nicole’s cabin just as the rain began to spit.

There was Nicole, hurrying to cover the garden plants with large sheets of plastic. Emily and Quentin rushed after her to help. Mother and son laughed as the rain hit them and teased Emily out of her scowl. Mel hung back so they wouldn’t see her and watched them working as a family. Her family. That is if she wanted to be a part of it.

If she were honest, what she was looking at right now was what she’d always wanted.

When she’d been returned to her family, after escaping Jedidiah, she’d been the outsider. Her mom and dad hadn’t known how to treat her, and she hadn’t known how to act. She’d blamed them for not being able to find her when she’d been held hostage only twenty miles from home. She’d blamed Nicole the most.

Looking at Nicole with her kids,
her
own niece and nephew, Mel knew things had happened the way they’d been meant to. Nicole was a great mother and had probably been a good wife her ex-husband hadn’t appreciated. She was the only sister Mel had. It wasn’t her fault Mel had been kidnapped. Yeah, Nicole had made mistakes, but everyone did.

Mel had to let the past go.

“Aunt Mel?” Quentin’s yell cut through the building storm. “Why are you standing out in the rain?”

Nicole swung around when Quentin addressed her. “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be walking on that leg.”

They’d finished protecting the plants while Mel had taken her side trip into the past. Nicole rushed toward her, slowing as she got closer. “You okay?”

Mel felt wetness on her face and knew that the cold rain had mixed with her silent tears. The effort to speak was beyond her and she found herself shaking her head.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of the weather.” Nicole wrapped an arm around Mel’s chilled shoulders. “Quentin, go to the cabin and stoke the fire. Emily, run down to the lodge and make some hot chocolate.” Without comment or questions, the kids did as their mother bid them. Nicole turned to Mel. “Let’s get you dried off and lying down.”

Mel shook her head again. “No more lying down. Going crazy.”

“Well, that explains why you’re out here getting soaked to the bone. You must have a screw loose.”

Mel choked on a laugh and then found herself choking on tears. “I’m so sorry, Nic.”

Nicole wrapped Mel in her arms and held her as she cried. They stood there in the rain and did that hugging forgiving thing she’d been so against before. Funny, it turned out not to be so bad.

“You were right,” Mel mumbled into Nic’s shoulder. “I’ve blamed and resented you all these years. I’m so sorry.” She shuddered on a sob. “I need my big sister.”

“Oh, Amelia.” Nicole leaned back and looked into her eyes. “I need you too. Now more than ever.”

Mel realized there had been enough blame on both sides to cut a canyon between them. Today was a new day, not a pretty one. More snotty, than pretty, but still a new day.

“Let’s get out of this rain before we drown in it.” Nicole helped Mel to their cabin. Mel hadn’t really looked around it since the night she’d brought them to The Edge. The changes were amazing.

The cabin still didn’t have electricity or running water, but it had become a home. A cozy, warm, colorful home. The old crate, being used as a coffee table, held a half-finished jigsaw puzzle on the top. Drapes framed the window, throw pillows on the couch, and hand-drawn art was tacked to the log walls. She found herself staring at a sketch of her with Rinka. Rinka sat on her haunches with Mel bent down, her arms wrapped around her. A smile spread over her face.

“That’s mine,” Quentin said. “I’m talented.”

“That you are.” Mel turned to her nephew and for the first time wanted to know everything about him. Wanted him to be part of her life. “Would you draw another for me?”

“You can have that one. I’ve got lots.”

“He likes Rinka, as you can see.” Nicole indicated the rest of the pictures. Most had Rinka in them doing something or other.

Her nephew needed a dog of his own. “If you want, when Rinka’s puppies are older, you can have one.”

The boy’s face brightened like a brilliant summer sky. “Can I, Mom?”

Nicole glared at Mel. “How do I tell him no now?”

Mel shrugged and gave her sister a grin. “What can I say, I’m desperate. I have seven puppies to find homes for.”

Nicole looked at Quentin’s face, his huge eyes begging. Mel didn’t know how anyone wouldn’t give that boy whatever he wanted. “All right. I don’t see why not.”

He squealed. “That is so totally
sweet
.” He turned back to Mel. “Can I go and pick which one?”

“Not right now,” Nicole said. “Get out of those wet clothes and after the rain stops, then you can go and see the puppies.”

“Aw, Mom.” Quentin’s shoulders drooped, and he scowled her direction. “I’m not that wet.”

“I don’t want you catching cold. Do what I said, but thank your aunt first.”

Quentin rushed over to Mel and draped himself around her. “You’re the best, Aunt Mel.” As an after thought, he added, “You too, Mom.”

Mel closed her eyes and hugged him back. He smelled like a wet dog and was in dire need of a shower. Mel loved it. The hug was brief, and Quentin was climbing the ladder to the loft before Mel realized she hadn’t wanted it to end so soon.

“He’s a tornado, that one,” Nicole said. She turned to the curtained-off bedroom. “Let me get you a blanket. The last thing you need is to catch cold too.” She returned with a fleece throw and wrapped it around Mel’s shoulders.

“Nic, about this afternoon—”

“Mel, as far as I’m concerned, we’re starting a clean slate.”

“You can call me Amelia if you’d like.” Mel remembered snapping at Nicole the first day she’d arrived on The Edge about calling her Amelia. She could probably handle the name being used by her sister.

“No.” Nicole shook her head. “You’re no longer Amelia. Mel fits you better.”

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’d like to be part of your family.”

Nicole’s smile was soft and loving. “You are.”

Emily entered carrying a tray with a kettle of hot chocolate.

Quentin stuck his head over the railing, dry clothes in hand, wet clothes still on his body. “Hey, Em. Aunt Mel’s letting me have one of the puppies.”

Emily turned a sour look toward Nicole. “Don’t tell me you said Quentin could have a dog?”

“Fine, I won’t tell you.” Nicole took the tray from Emily.

“M-o-m.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Do you know how messy dogs are? And they bark.”

“They’re easier than kids.” Nicole shared a look with Mel. “You sure you want to be part of this?”

Mel took in Emily’s cocked hip, the disgruntled look on her face and remembered Quentin’s elated one. “Yeah. I’m sure.”