Edge of Shadows (Shadows #1)

As she crossed the kitchen on her way to the back door, Ellie felt the slightest brush of cold air against the back of her neck as she passed the basement door which caused the hair on her arms to stand up.
But the basement door is locked
ran through her mind just as she felt hands connect with the back of her shoulders, giving her a hard shove. The boxes in her arms went flying.

She swung around just in time to see Jake barreling toward her. She skidded to the left but still caught the brunt force of his shoulder in her chest, knocking her off balance. Ellie went flying backwards and her head smacked the wooden kitchen cabinet just before her butt hit the linoleum floor. She immediately saw stars and reached to touch the back of her head. Her hand came away bloody.

Jake’s shadow fell over her and she yelled, not knowing any other way to try to break through the red aura that surrounded him, “Jesus Christ, Jake! I’m bleeding! What’s the matter with you?” She heard his sharp intake of breath and watched his aura turn pink.

“Ellie! Oh my god, Ellie. I’m so sorry!”

Her soon-to-be-ex-husband knelt down beside her and tried to pull her into his arms, but she pushed him away. As long as there was any tinge of red crackling in the air, she needed to be as far away from him as possible. She crawled across the floor as fast as she could manage and huddled in the far corner of the kitchen. She felt a stickiness run down the side of her neck and saw that she had left a small trail of blood in her wake.

She touched her scalp again gently. The whole back of her head felt like it was on fire, and she knew a monster headache was lurking on the horizon. Her collarbone, which had taken the direct hit from Jake’s shoulder, screamed its own chorus of pain. She looked over at Jake, who appeared frozen, hunched over the spot where she had fallen. His face was twisted in disbelief, which no doubt was a mirror image of her expression.

“Are you crazy? What were you trying to do, Jake, kill me? I should call the cops. Or you need to call your therapist. This is bad, Jake. This is really bad.”

The accusation hung in the air between them. Jake had never touched her in anger before. Ellie knew he had wanted to more than once during their heated arguments, but she never believed him capable of following through on it. Despite her tough words, she felt the cold chill of something else gnawing at her—fear. This was the first time in their relationship that she had ever been afraid he would physically harm her. Jake was usually content just doing things to himself.

Jake looked down at his hands, making fists and then letting them go. He started shaking his head and then he looked at her. His brown eyes were misty and the air around him suddenly was a deep black. Jake was completely lost.

“Ellie, I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry. I just wanted you to stop. I didn’t want you to leave. I think we can fix this. It won’t ever happen again. I swear,” he said.

“You’re right, Jake. It won’t happen again,” she said. “You can’t make me stay here with you. This divorce is going to happen whether you want it or not. It’s not healthy for me to be around you like this.”

She held her breath as she saw tinges of red around him again, but then it faded. She let out a sigh of relief. Ellie couldn’t be responsible for Jake anymore. She was through feeling guilty for things that she couldn’t change.

Jake was a recovering alcoholic who had just started treatment when he and Ellie met. But Ellie learned too late that the alcohol was nothing but a symptom of much deeper issues. Jake drank to get away from something else, something that lurked deep inside him. That something had started surfacing with more regularity since he stopped seeing his therapist six months ago.

That was when Jake started drinking again. He fell off the wagon hard. Ellie cleaned up the pieces and tried her best to help him work through his issues. But after what she found in the basement, Ellie was forced to see that no matter what she did, it wasn’t going to be enough. That sobering realization came on the heels of knowing that she no longer loved Jake. As hard as she tried to ignore it, Jake had a dark side, one that he had hidden from her very well. This wasn’t the person she married and it wasn’t anyone that she wanted to be around anymore.

“Ellie, those other women didn’t mean a thing to me. I can’t believe you’d let something like that come between us, especially when you know how sorry I am,” Jake replied. “I just wanted you to stand still for two seconds and listen to me. It’s been really hard to get your attention lately.”

His tone was contrite and calm, a complete 180 degrees from moments before. Ellie wasn’t sure which was more scary, an angry, out-of-control Jake, or this calm stranger who spoke to her logically without any real emotion in his voice. She almost snorted at how naïve he could be. Other women she could have dealt with, but she couldn’t deal with crazy. And she was pretty sure that Jake was going crazy.

Ellie knew from her childhood that the best defense was a good offense. She needed to appear strong and take control of the situation. She raised her voice. “If jumping me from behind is how you think you are going to get my attention, you need to work on finding another method of communication. We’ve been through this a hundred times, Jake. This isn’t working. It’s over.”

Using the wall as support, she pushed up to her feet. Immediately she felt dizzy, and when she wobbled just a bit, Jake stood and moved to help her. She held out her hand, the palm facing toward him.

“Stay away,” she said. She didn’t want to be anywhere near that black void that surrounded him. She was afraid it would swallow her whole. “Get away from me or I swear I’ll start screaming.”

“Ellie, don’t say that. I love you,” he said, but the plea didn’t reach his eyes. He kept his distance, but then got down on both knees and held his arms out. “I can’t live without you. Forgive me.”

“I am fairly certain you’ll manage just fine,” Ellie said. She was watching him carefully. Suddenly the air seemed to wobble around him, and then streaks of purple and blue burst through the blackness. Jake began to weep.

She almost went to him then. She knew this was the real Jake, who she often thought was little more than a lost little boy battling demons that were too big for him to understand. Ellie had never been comfortable watching other people in pain. But the insistent throbbing inside her head kept reality in sharp focus, and she shoved the feeling of pity away.

“I’m going to get an attorney, Jake. I can’t do this with you anymore.”

She took a step toward the living room to put some more space between them. She wanted to make sure she had room to get away if he got angry again.

“Where are you going to go, Ellie? You don’t have anywhere to go. You’re nothing but an orphan. Somebody without a home,” he said. He looked at the ground but didn’t get up.

Ellie didn’t want to admit how hurtful his words were; Jake knew her trigger points well.  She had friends that she considered family now, even though they had started out as employees. “Kevin said I can stay with him and Eric until I find a place. I’m taking Skipper with me,” she said, looking around for the little dog. The dachshund was nowhere to be seen. Smart dog.

With a heavy sigh, Jake rose to his feet. She gave him a minute to regain his composure. With his shoulders slumped and his downtrodden appearance, it looked like all the fight had gone right out of him. His dark hair was messy and had gotten long, and his clothes hung on his thin form. He was nothing more than a pale ghost of the attractive man she married eight years ago. His eyes focused on her, and then seemed to look right through her. Ellie felt the chills roll down her spine again. Who was he seeing when he looked at her like that?

“So you definitely want to go through with this?” he said. His voice was dull.

“Yes,” she said.

“There’s nothing I can say or do that is going to make you change your mind?”

Jake looked her squarely in the eye for just a moment, and she thought she saw a flash of the man she used to know inside, screaming for her help and understanding. Then it was gone, and he was looking past her again. Ellie fought the urge to glance over her shoulder.

“No, Jake. I’m sorry. I just don’t love you that way anymore,” Ellie said. What she didn’t say was that she wasn’t sure if she ever did. But that was her demon to work through. Eight years wasted for what? She wished she had a better answer.

Jake’s reply caught her by surprise. “I’ve got a lawyer,” he said evenly.

“What do you mean, Jake?”

“When you first started talking about this whole divorce thing I decided to talk to somebody too,” Jake said, his chin jutting.

She wasn’t imagining it. He was talking to the space behind her. She saw a flicker of something in his eyes as they briefly met hers again. It was like he was trying to say something else to her in that silent glance.

“Okay.” Ellie didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m not going to fight you on anything, Ellie. Since this was my house before, I figure I’ll keep it, especially since you are moving out anyway. Whatever you think is fair is fine with me. I don’t want to argue about anything,” Jake said. “You’re right; it’s probably time for you to go.”

Why was he suddenly so eager for her to leave? His aura hadn’t changed, but Ellie sensed an anxiousness beneath his words. What was he trying to tell her?

“What are you saying, Jake?” she asked. “I’m confused. Five minutes ago you barreled into me like a linebacker trying to get me to stay with you. Now you are telling me to go and that you want a divorce too?”

“I know you’ve got pretty much all your cash wrapped up in the shop. I don’t think either one of us can afford a big fancy lawyer. If we agree on everything, it should be pretty easy. We can just use this guy I know, and we’ll split the cost. Quick and painless, like the last eight years never happened, right?” Jake’s smile was haunted.

Ellie had to admit that the cost of the divorce was one reason she had held off as long as she had; it was an idea that had taken root and grown over the past year. Even before she knew about the cheating it was obvious that she and Jake weren’t a good fit anymore. If Jake truly would agree to everything, doing it that way would be a lot less expensive. She just couldn’t shake the feeling, though, that there was suddenly more to the story than Jake was letting on.

“I don’t know, Jake. I don’t think that is a good idea,” she said, shaking her head. She was deeply unsettled that Jake wouldn’t meet her eyes. Something felt off.

Jake didn’t reply. Instead, he went over to the freezer and pulled out an ice pack. He grabbed one of the kitchen towels and wrapped the pack inside. He approached Ellie cautiously and stopped three feet away from her just as he saw that she was getting ready to backpedal. His eyes narrowed, but instead of saying anything he lifted the ice pack slowly so that it was between them.

“Peace, Ellie. Here. I’m really sorry that I hurt you. I’ll do it your way. Whatever you want, and maybe we can still be friends,” he said.