Edmund Bertram's Diary (6 page)

‘Oh, Edmund, you do prose on. Of course I love him.’

‘But you have seen very little of him, except at bal s.’

‘I have seen quite enough of him, I assure you.’

I was not convinced I liked this answer, and told her so.

‘I want you to be happy,’ I said.

‘And I wil be.’

‘If I could be sure—’

‘You must own me to be the best judge of my happiness,’ she said impatiently, ‘and I tel you I wil be.’

With this I had to be content.

‘Very wel . Then I wil write to Papa tomorrow,’ I told her, but I did so with a heavy heart. It lightened somewhat when I talked the matter over with Fanny, for, as she reminded me, my father wil no doubt say the marriage cannot take place without him. And that when he returns, he wil be able to decide whether Maria is truly attached to Mr. Rushworth or not.

Friday 1 July

I wrote to my father this morning and I was just sending the letter when my aunt entered the drawing-room. She had visited the Grants to give them a hint of Maria’s nuptials and had returned from the Parsonage with some news.

‘One wedding brings on another. It seems you wil not have to go to London in search of an heiress after al ,’ she said portentously to Tom. ‘We are to have an addition to the neighborhood, or rather, two additions. Mrs. Grant’s brother and sister — her mother’s children by a second marriage — wil soon be joining her. It is a sad tale. Their parents died some time ago, whereupon they went to live with an aunt and uncle, but now their aunt has died, too, and as their uncle proposes to move his mistress into the house, they do not feel they can stay with him any longer, and so they are to come here.’

‘Shocking,’ said Mama placidly, as she played with Pug. ‘I am sure Sir Thomas would never approve of such a thing.’

‘But although it may be unfortunate for Mr. and Miss Crawford, it is likely to be a good thing for us,’ said my aunt. ‘Miss Crawford is a considerable heiress, with twenty thousand pounds, and Mrs. Grant assures me she is as elegant as she is accomplished, being a beauty besides.’

‘How is that good for us?’ Tom teased my aunt.

‘Why, because you can marry her,’ she replied.

Tom was stil laughing at the notion as we went out for a ride this afternoon.

‘I think you should marry Miss Crawford,’ he said to me,

‘in fact I have a mind to promote the match. I promised Papa that I would make it up to you for losing you the Mansfield living; and as the new incumbent, Dr Grant, is refusing to die of an apoplexy as I hoped he would, so that the living would revert to you, then a good marriage is the quickest way to ensure your prosperity.’

I begged him to be serious but he said that he was.

‘She is just the wife for you. Her fortune wil al ow you to enlarge the rectory at Thornton Lacey and keep a carriage.’

‘If she is to be rich and beautiful I am surprised you do not want to marry her yourself,’ I said.

‘God forbid! The last thing I want is a wife.’

But I find myself hoping he might take a liking to her, for a wife would be the very thing to steady him, and perhaps marriage would make him take a pride in his inheritance and give him a desire to work to preserve it.

Monday 11 July

I scarcely know what I am writing, for I have had such a jolt to my feelings that I am quite dazed. I returned from estate business this afternoon to find a beautiful young woman in the drawingroom. I caught a glimpse of her profile first and felt my pulse quicken, and when she turned her face towards mine, the hope flashed through my mind that Tom would not care for her after al , for she was the most charming young woman I had ever seen. She had bright, dark eyes and dark hair, with a clear brown complexion and a smiling mouth, whilst her figure was smal and dainty. She was a complete contrast to Maria and Julia, whose tal fairness, as they sat next to her, set off her dark loveliness like two wil owy reeds setting off a forest pool. But as I took my seat I found that Tom seemed to have abandoned his intention of remaining a bachelor, for he was at his liveliest. He was entertaining Miss Crawford with tales of his trip to Antigua and she was smiling and laughing. She seemed delighted with him. And how could she not be? For when Tom puts himself out to please, he never fails. And were he not half so amusing, his position as a baronet’s heir, with the added advantages of person and conversation, could hardly fail to please any young woman.

Tom at last turned his attention to Mr. Crawford, who happened to mention his horse, and the two of them began a lengthy conversation about the merits of their hunters. Miss Crawford turned her attention to me and to my surprise I found myself tongue-tied, but luckily her conversation was lively enough for two.

When I had command of myself once more I asked her about her journey into Northamptonshire and she answered me civil y, making the commonplace remarks about the roads and the carriage seem interesting and amusing. I was about to ask her what she thought of Mansfield when Tom caught her at ention and she was soon laughing with him again. I ought to be pleased that he has taken a liking to her, and she to him, but instead I find myself hoping that Tom wil soon grow tired of her, and that I might see a great deal more of her in the coming weeks.

Tuesday 12 July

Tom was ful of admiration for Miss Crawford this morning, saying that she was a very elegant young woman, and Maria and Julia seemed equal y struck with Henry Crawford. Wednesday 13 July

We dined at the Parsonage this evening. Fanny was very quiet, but nevertheless I believe she enjoyed herself, for she does not go out so often that it is a commonplace to her. Miss Crawford was very lively, and matched Tom’s wit with her own. I managed to speak to her, too, and found her as agreeable to listen to as to look at. The Crawfords are an addition to our circle, and their presence bodes wel for the summer.

Thursday 14 July

We have seen the Crawfords twice now, and on both occasions Miss Crawford has delighted me. She has such a lively way of talking and such dancing dark eyes that I can think of nothing else.

Mama and Aunt Norris are pleased with the Crawfords, too.

‘I knew how it would be,’ said my aunt. ‘Miss Crawford is as elegant and charming a young woman as you could wish to meet, and with her fortune, Tom, she would make you an excel ent wife. Her brother, too, is quite the gentleman. I thought him plain at first—’

‘Plain?’ cried Maria and Julia together in astonishment.

‘At first,’ said my aunt. ‘But after the second meeting I thought him not so very plain, and after dining at the Parsonage yesterday, I find I consider him to be one of the handsomest men of my acquaintance. He has so much countenance, and his teeth are so good, and he is so wel made, that he is a great addition to our circle.’

‘Indeed,’ said Maria, ‘he is the most agreeable man I ever met.’

‘But not so agreeable as Mr. Rushworth?’ I asked.

‘Of course our dear Maria favors Mr. Rushworth,’ put in my aunt. ‘He is everything that is amiable and amusing. Such manners, such an air . . .’

‘He is not half so agreeable as Mr. Crawford,’ said Julia, with far more truth.

‘And if I do not mistake the matter — which I am sure I do not — he finds you extremely agreeable, too, Julia,’ said my aunt, keen to promote this preference on the part of Julia. ‘A double wedding would be a very pleasant thing, with Tom marrying Mary Crawford, and Julia marrying Mr. Crawford. I am persuaded Sir Thomas would be very pleased.’

‘As to that, it would be a triple wedding, for I am already engaged,’ said Maria. ‘But for al that, there real y is no harm in my paying attention to an agreeable man. Everybody knows my situation, and Mr. Crawford must take care of himself.’

This speech did nothing to reassure me, but when I spoke to my aunt about it, she said,

‘Depend upon it, Maria is only paying attention to Mr. Crawford because she is cross with Mr. Rushworth for leaving her in order to visit a friend. He cannot expect Maria to stay indoors until he returns. I believe it wil be no bad thing if Mr. Crawford pays some attention to Maria, for it wil teach Mr. Rushworth a lesson, and when he returns he wil see that he must guard his treasures if he is not to lose them.’

‘Do you think he may lose them?’ I asked. ‘Do you think Maria is not real y in love with him? If that is the case, I should not have al owed things to go this far. Long engagements are never a good thing, and this engagement of Maria’s, unsanctioned by my father and not likely to be sanctioned for many weeks, is worse than most. It puts everyone in a false position. ’

‘You misunderstand me. I am sure Maria loves him but a woman does not like to be ignored, and it wil do Mr. Rushworth no harm to learn this fact. We al want Maria to be happy when she becomes Mrs. Rushworth, and not to find herself left behind whilst her husband goes roaming about the country.’

Rushworth’s going to stay with a friend for a fortnight did not seem like roaming about the country to me, but my aunt knows far more about women than I do, and no doubt she is right. Even so, I wish Papa might come home soon, for I am sure he wil be better at looking after his daughters than I can ever be.

Besides, I feel in need of some advice myself. I can think of nothing but Miss Crawford — but it seems Miss Crawford can think of nothing but Tom.

Friday 15 July

The Crawfords cal ed again today. Crawford had been intending to bring his sister to stay with the Grants and then leave the neighborhood, but he seems to find it agreeable here, for he said it was now his intention to stay awhile.

The day was fine and we were soon walking together.

‘You have an excel ent property here, Mr. Bertram,’ Miss Crawford said as she strol ed along next to Tom. ‘It has a real park, some five miles round, my sister tel s me?’

‘That is so, five miles exactly,’ said Tom.

‘I must congratulate you on it. There are not many so fine. Why, a mile or two seems to be enough for some people to proclaim they have a park, when real y it is nothing of the kind. The house, too, is remarkable. It is very spacious, and I like a house that is modern built, with none of the smal windows that make older houses so dark. The ceilings are so high, and the rooms so large, that it is a pleasure to sit in them.’

‘Then we must hope you wil grace it with your presence for a long time to come!’ said Tom courteously.

She inclined her head and smiled bewitchingly, and made me long to offer her my arm, which, however, I could not do, as she was clearly not at al fatigued and was instead very lively. She moved her hands expressively when she talked, and everything about her spoke of health and life.

‘You should have an engraving made of the house,’ she said. ‘I always say that a wel -built house should be honored with an engraving. I am sure I have seen many smal er houses treated in this way, and Mansfield Park would grace any col ection in which it was included.’

‘I have always thought it a very fine house,’ said Mama. ‘Sir Thomas is very proud of it.’

‘And with good reason. It is one of the finest baronet’s seats in the land,’ said my aunt.

‘My brother tel s me you have a horse running in a race soon?’ Miss Crawford asked Tom. My aunt smiled at this, and exchanged a glance with Mama, who, however, did not appear to notice. But the meaning of my aunt’s smile was clear: Miss Crawford’s interest was not in a horse race, but in my brother.

‘Indeed I do! It is running at Brighton, a very fine animal and sure to win. Have you ever been to the Brighton races?’

‘No, I must confess I have not.’

‘Then we must correct that.’

‘Are they not a little wild?’ she asked.

‘Nonsense. Al the best people go. Why, the Prince of Wales himself goes. I saw him there myself, the first time I attended. It was when I was with my friend Frobisher. Do you know Frobisher?’

‘I do not believe I have had the pleasure.’

‘You would like him. He makes us roar with laughter. When we were in Brighton last we decided to go sea bathing and Frobisher swam off by himself. Then he gave a strangled cry, to make us al look at him, flailed his arms wildly and disappeared under the waves. We al swam over there and searched for him frantical y. Then up he popped behind us, laughing fit to burst at the expressions on our faces! You real y must come. I cannot promise you Frobisher, for his father has sent him out of the country, but I can show you the sights and take you to the races. You would enjoy it, I have no doubt. We could make a party of it. We could al go. What do you say to that, Mama? Would you like to go to Brighton?’

‘It is a very long way,’ said Mama.

‘Nonsense!’

The subject was discussed back and forth, but nothing was decided on by the end of the visit, and Miss Crawford promised to think of it more overnight so that we could resume the discussion tomorrow.

Saturday 16 July

The weather being fine we walked out this morning and the subject of making a party to attend the races was again raised, but the difficulties of finding enough carriages and arranging accommodation made it clear that the matter would only do to be talked of, for realizing it was beyond our reach.

Fanny was soon tired and I offered her my arm, but Crawford was too quick for me, saying that he would escort her back to the house. Maria and Julia went with them, though I believe Julia would have stayed if Maria had not made a very pointed remark about needing her, leaving Tom, Miss Crawford and me to continue our walk.

‘I begin now to understand you al , except Miss Price,’ said Miss Crawford to me, as we wandered through the shrubbery. ‘Pray, is she out, or is she not? I am puzzled. She dined at the Parsonage, with the rest of you, which seemed like being out; and yet she says so little, that I can hardly suppose she is.’

‘I believe I know what you mean, but I wil not undertake to answer the question. My cousin is grown-up. She has the age and sense of a woman, but the outs and not outs are beyond me,’ I replied.

‘And yet, in general, nothing can be more easily ascertained. The distinction is so broad. Manners as wel as appearance are, general y speaking, so total y dif erent. Til now, I could not have supposed it possible to be mistaken as to a girl’s being out or not. A girl not out has always the same sort of dress: a close bonnet, for instance; looks very demure, and never says a word. You may smile, but it is so, I assure you; and except that it is sometimes carried a little too far, it is al very proper. Girls should be quiet and modest. The most objectionable part is, that the alteration of manners on being introduced into company is frequently too sudden. They sometimes pass in such very little time from reserve to quite the opposite — to confidence! That is the faulty part of the present system. One does not like to see a girl of eighteen or nineteen so immediately up to everything — and perhaps when one has seen her hardly able to speak the year before. Mr. Bertram, I dare say you have sometimes met with such changes.’