Effortless With You (14 page)

“Well, the barf, again.” I lean away from him as I motion to the ground behind me. “I’m sorry for that.”

Justin smiles and releases my hands. He also leans away from me. “Well, yeah. You owe me big time.” I nod. I know I should laugh but I can’t force it.

“Well, that answers that.” Justin stands up and extends a hand, pulling me off the lounger. Once I am on my feet, he drops my hand from his.

“What answers what?” I rub the palms of my hands against my legs, attempting to erase the memory of his hands. My heart is so confused.

“For a second I thought you weren’t going to be okay.” Justin hands me a water bottle. The water cools the burn in the back of my throat. “But if you can talk about barf, somehow I know you’ll make it.”

 “Right,” I manage. I take another drink. My mouth tastes horrible. “Do you have any gum?”

Justin grabs the wagon full of water bottles and opens the pool gate. “In the truck.”

I eye the gate, not wanting to walk through. I know the moment I step through I am leaving the crime scene, which means I have to face my new reality. I have to start processing being betrayed and used. Face being alone.

Justin catches my hesitancy. “Listen, Lucy,” he motions toward the gate. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy. But, I can promise you that your life will be much better without them.” He waits for me to move. I bite my lip and step through the gate. He pulls the wagon behind us.

“So, I’ll just run this out to the guys if you want to wait in the truck. I’ll take you home.”

Home. I think of climbing in my bed and hiding under my covers. I could cry as long as I need. Just the thought of the freedom to cry brings tears to my cheeks. And then I think about my parents. What would they do if they heard me crying in my room all afternoon? Mom’d just barge in, demanding to know what was wrong.

I can never share this with her. She wouldn’t understand. My pain would become her prize, her
I
told you so
moment.

“No.” I shake my head. “Not home.”

“Why not home?”

“I just can’t go there.”

“Then where?”

I look up the street where Alex is dancing alone to his head phones while painting window trim. “I’ll stay here.”

“You want to work?”

“Yeah, I already missed one day for illness. I don’t want to get fired.”

“I promise you won’t get fired. I’m taking you home.” Justin turns and starts walking ahead of me.

“No, really. I want to stay.” I briefly touch his arm so he will look at me. “I need to stay,” I whisper. “I need the distraction.” Tears well in my eyes.

Justin lets out a light breath. “Fine. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Thanks,” I say.

Troy approaches us as we drop off the water wagon near the supplies. “Justin. What took you so long?” Troy walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Did you get lost, Lucy? I started to think you were ditching more of my training this afternoon.” He smiles at me playfully.

I glare at his hand on my shoulder and rudely shrug it off. My left hand begins to shake. Being hit on is the last thing I need. Troy, not taking a hint, steps closer. I eye the truck. Maybe I do want to go home.

Justin reaches out and touches my shaking hand. I take a deep breath. He casually steps between Troy and me. “What’s this about you training Lucy? I thought she was Alex’s protégé’?”

Troy shuffles his feet. “Well, she was. But I thought she needed more specialized attention than he can give.” Troy shrugs, “I’ve got the best technique so I thought I’d show her the ropes. She’s learned a lot. You should check—”

Justin holds out a hand to interrupt him. “I thought I made it clear that Lucy was to train with Alex.”

“Oh, come on. You know she’s learned all she can from the kid. Let me take her to the next level.” Troy’s undertone is clear.

“No. You stick to managing.” Justin clenches his jaw.

“Fine. I’ll go get Alex.”

Justin shakes his head. “No. That won’t be necessary. Lucy will hang with me the rest of the day.” He nods toward Alex, “Alex is killing the top trim. No reason to interrupt him.”

Troy glares back at Justin. “Fine, man. You’re the
boss
.” Justin swears under his breath and gathers our supplies.

“Wait. What just happened?”

Justin shakes his head as he hands me a bucket full of rags and brushes.

“You told me Troy was project manager.”

“He is.” He grabs a ladder off the driveway and effortlessly throws it over his shoulder.

“But he called you boss.”

“Hmm, caught that part, huh?” Justin scrunches up his face.

“Yeah. That’s pretty hard to miss.”

Justin turns toward me, a look of defeat on his face. “Well, that’s because I am. Troy’s my project manager.” He shrugs. “I’m the owner.”

“Wait? What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to know.” Justin sets up the ladder against the house and motions for me to climb it.

I start climbing the ladder, meeting him at eye level. “Why not?”

Justin meets my gaze. “Honestly, I thought you’d tell Marissa and then the whole school would know.” Marissa’s name is salt in my open wound. I grimace.

But he has a point. Marissa can’t keep a secret.

Justin continues, “The company is my own thing, no expectations from anyone but myself. Everything else I do,” he shakes his head, “people just know too much, you know?” I do. Justin was always the hot topic at school. I never imagined it bothered him though.

“I guess I can see that.” I climb higher and look down. “Then who’s the guy that knows my dad that got me the job?”

“Uncle Alex. He had a conference call with your dad the morning after the party and he mentioned it to me. He’s kind of the adult face of the company to give it some credentials.” He nods toward the center of the association. “I’d never have landed this gig if it wasn’t for him.”

“Uncle Alex? As in …?”

“Alex’s dad.”

“Cousins?”

“Yup.” I look at Alex, effortlessly perched on top of an eighteen-foot ladder. He has lighter hair than Justin but his frame is similar, just in a fourteen-year-old form. I think of his laugh; they have the same tone. I shake my head. “I don’t know how I missed that.”

“Eh. You see what you want to see.” He's right. If I’d have known Alex was Justin’s cousin, I never would have been his friend. I look at Alex. He really is my only friend. He’s always been so welcoming where Justin seems determined to drive me nuts.

That’s what is odd. Justin is being so nice to me. Maybe he really does care?

Justin hands me a paintbrush before setting himself up near the base of the ladder. I climb the rest of the way up before turning around and looking down at Justin. “You know I wouldn’t have told, right?”

“Told?”

“About you owning the company.”

Justin shrugs. “Well, now I do. But, I’m still glad I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t need to give you further reason to find think I’m
full of myself
.”

I groan and he smiles in his taunting way.

“Justin. Please, lay off. Not today, okay? I don’t know how much more I can handle.”

“I know. That’s why I’m staying right here.” He nods toward the bottom of the ladder. “There’s no way I’m letting you go all vomiting, jelly fish again. Your relational woes will not ruin me. I’m not going to be sued by your parents for unsafe working conditions.”

“So, that’s it then?”

“That’s what?”

“Nothing,” I mutter before returning to trimming.

My heart sinks. I thought he was being attentive because he cared. Knowing his attention stemmed from legal purposes makes me feel even emptier than before.

I look over at Alex, who is dancing with his brush on top of his ladder. They may be cousins, but Alex would never have said that.

I am a potential liability to Justin. Not a friend.

I bite my lip as I paint, focusing on every detail of my brush stroke. I start feeling numb. At the pool complex I didn’t feel alone with Justin at my side. Now, with Justin below me, I feel completely isolated. I was a task to manage.

And then there's Marissa and Zach. That’s how they always look at me too, an annoying task to attend to, at best, a means of entertainment. I’m Marissa’s pet project. She felt threatened the moment I started drawing attention from Zach. No wonder she always insisted on calling him for me—she was setting a nice trap for him. She couldn’t handle me being the center of attention, for once.

And Zach makes my skin crawl. I think I always knew that he was just one of those guys, after any girl who would put out. The moment he realized I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, he welcomed Marissa onto his lap. The thought of them together literally makes me gag. I look down at Justin who is listening to his iPod, thankful he didn’t hear it.

Marissa and Zach are repulsive.

I cling to this feeling of disgust as the day wears on. It’s the key to holding on to reason. Occasionally, worthlessness and humiliation attempt to redirect my thoughts. But I won’t let them. I can’t let them. Not now. I will deal with them later. Not here.

I'm not going to cry here.

Justin doesn’t let me out of his sight the entire afternoon. Occasionally, I catch Troy glaring at him from across the courtyard. At least I don’t have to deal with him anymore. I concentrate on the angle of my brush. Each new stroke covers the dulled paint with a bolder red. I completely lose myself in painting because Troy yells, “CALL IT” much sooner than I anticipate.

I climb down the ladder. Justin stands waiting at the bottom, his hands on his hips. “So, now can I take you home?”

“No. This is all business, right? I didn’t fall. I’m not a liability. I’ll catch a ride from Alex and the other guys.” I can’t help but return the sting of his legal approach.

“Fine. I’ve got to go deal with Troy anyway.”

“Wait,” I call out to him. “Why were you so insistent that Alex train me instead of Troy?”

Justin lifts his eyebrow. “Isn’t that kind of obvious? You’re the only girl on the crew. Alex’s in a relationship, which made him the safest choice. I didn’t want to deal with everyone hitting on you. I don’t need a sexual-harassment lawsuit too.”

His words cut deep. That’s seriously all he cares about, huh? This stupid painting business. Why can’t I be somebody to him? To anybody?

I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.

My eyes counter my thoughts, welling with tears, tears that Justin definitely notices. He pauses briefly before I blink them away. He opens his mouth to say something but Alex bounds between us.

“Way to save Lucy, man. I don’t know how much more we can take of Troy’s macking style.” Alex playfully nudges me in the side. I turn to him and force a smile.

“So, are you going to ditch me now that your old ride is back?”

Justin opens his mouth to speak but I beat him to the punch.

“Nope. I’m heading home with you. Justin’s got stuff to do.”

“Your dad is helping me with another business proposal,” Justin explains.

“Oh, so she knows now?”

“Yup.”

“Finally. We were all getting sick of your secret. It seriously sucks to pretend to listen to Troy, man.”

Justin shoves Alex’s shoulder. “He’s still your project manager.”

Alex picks up my supplies. “Sure. Whatever you say, boss.”

“Well, maybe if you’d have listened to him you’d have finished more than one house. Come on. You’re killing my productivity!”

“Oh, trust me man. Past nine o’clock, Troy’s attention was focused
elsewhere.”
Alex nudges me again. Under other conditions, I may have felt flattered. But instead the insinuation crawls down my throat and into my lungs.

 My body is freaking out.

Suddenly, I am watching Marissa and Zach making out in the pool again. A ringing tone deafens my ears as I remembered seeing Zach pull Marissa into a hug. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek. The iron taste in my mouth is revolting. My fingertips vibrate.

A hand on my back. Alex. “Whoa Lucy, are you sick?”

My heart bangs inside my head as my legs buckle. Footsteps vibrate the ground near me. Another hand is placed on my shoulder.

“Why didn’t you force her to drink more water?” Alex accuses. “You made her work too hard.”

Justin doesn’t reply. He just leans down toward me. “Are you okay?” he whispers in my ear.

My spine becomes jelly. His whisper throws my heartbeat out of my head and into my chest. I briefly open my eyes and the ground starts to spin. Ever so slightly, I shake my head no. I glue my eyes shut as I feel my stomach begin to turn. Not again.

“I’ll go grab some water and food.” Alex’s hand leaves my back but the pressure is instantly replaced with Justin’s other hand.

“Take a deep breath,” Justin guides.

I listen, concentrating on making each breath wash the nausea away.

A cool rag falls in my hand. I press my face into it.

You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.

My stomach relaxes. I sit up straight, taking a sip from a water bottle held under my lips.

“Justin. I don’t know about this,” Alex begins. “Look. She won’t stop shaking.”

“Just give her time.” Justin squeezes my shoulders.

I open my eyes, looking down at my hands and arms which are shaking in involuntary spasms. “Are you having a seizure?” Alex asks with wide eyes. He reminds me of Eric and it provides just enough of a distraction for me to refocus.

“No,” I force myself to smile at him. “I don’t know what happened. Probably not enough water.” I take the water bottle that he holds out in front of me and draw in a long sip.

“See,” he accuses again, looking over my shoulder back at Justin. Alex surveys me with his fingers lightly covering his mouth like how Eric would analyze his chances before asking me to play. A horn beeps. “Are you going to help me get her to the van?” he asks Justin.

“No, I can walk. It’s fine.” I start to stand up but Justin’s hands push me back down.

“Don’t worry about it, Alex. I’ll bring her home.”

“No way. You said she was going with me.” They acted more like brothers than cousins.