Electrified (31 page)

As much as she wanted to deny it, Sienna wanted Carson to come in and be very intimate. Just a few more days; that was all she wanted. She’d been celibate for so long, but now she wanted to experience it all: love, lust, touching both soft and rough, sex, making love, and whatever else Carson brought her way.

Sienna poured Carson a drink from her bar while she let a pot of decaffeinated coffee brew. She needed something warm to relax her, and her inhibitions were already wild with abandon so much so that she didn’t need alcohol.

When she handed Carson the tumbler of scotch, he took a sip and set it down, pulling Sienna in for a long kiss while holding her tight to his strong frame. His arms wrapped all the way around her, pulling her into his strength, heating her, and making her feel secure.

His mouth began to explore hers, compelling her to take, and teasing her to give back. He tasted like his usual, a combination of scotch and mint. It was the strangest, sexiest, and most divine mix of hot and cold as his tongue delved into her mouth, pulling hers out to play. All of Carson’s wants and desires ran through her body straight from his tongue teasing hers. She could feel a current running between them, pulling their bodies together, and stretching her imagination with the possibilities.

Sienna leaned away and simply looked at Carson, running her hand down the back of his hair, and trying to gauge if he felt it, too. She bit her lower lip as she took him in, trying to determine what he ultimately wanted. Finally, she lowered her head to his chest and rested it above his heart, listening to its even beat. She was quiet because she was afraid if she spoke, she would spill her heart out, tell him everything, and reveal her whole sordid story.

She was so overwhelmed with feelings, both physical and emotional, Sienna needed a moment to gather herself. It appeared Carson understood this and was willing to give it to her. He just stood there quietly while rubbing her back, smoothing her hair while she collected her thoughts.

They were so in sync, it was hard to believe there were so many lies on her part. She had never felt more connected to someone. Imagine what it would feel like if he could really know her. Know Lila. Would their relationship be even stronger? Or would the revelations shatter anything they had?

Somewhere in her mind, she had the fleeting thought that Carson knew she was hiding something big, but he liked her anyway. Maybe his detective skills picked up on her abusive background and he was letting her keep that to herself?

She doubted it. Carson seemed like the type of man who met a conflict head-on without thinking twice. She didn’t see him as the type to allow her to bottle that inside her if he thought for a second it existed.

Never before had she wished she could be Lila, put her whole past behind her, and move on with this man for however long it lasted as her real self.

Carson only granted her a brief silent reprieve before he held her hand and walked her directly to the bedroom, leaving his drink and her coffee waiting. Once inside her room, Carson didn’t move toward the bed, but to the bathroom where he started drawing a bath.

“You’ve had a long, stressful day, Sie. Why don’t you unwind a little.”

She loved the way he’d started using Asher’s nickname for her, Sie. It might not be her real name, but it was endearing, and felt comfortable and more real to hear him use the abbreviated version of the name she’d chosen for herself.

Hearing Carson refer to her in such a comforting way made her want to hear “Lila” come from his lips. She wondered if he would think it was a pretty name? A fitting one? Would he shorten it, too? Years ago, Asher used to call her “Li.”

Lost inside her head, Sienna allowed Carson to pull her to sit with him on the side of the tub. He proceeded to take her clothing off one piece at a time, touching and stroking her entire body along the way, bringing little shivers and goose bumps to the surface.

He slid her tank top off in one swift motion, pulling it straight up and off, revealing her lack of a bra. Her breasts sprang to life, reaching for only his touch. Kneeling in front of her, Carson’s hands were magic as they slid down her body, rounding her butt and making their way back up to spend time tracing her rosebud tattoo, causing her nipples to pucker while waiting for him to come back to them.

She thought back to the day she got the tattoo. It was a reminder of how the life could literally be squeezed out of her. A flower wasn’t only symbolic of her stage name, but her life, and the actual meaning of her god-given name.

Sienna was a bloom, a botanical representation of life, just like Lila had once been. A flower could be strangled by its very own roots, and Lila was almost squeezed to death. She was a firm believer in God back in the day, but no more. Her parents and her marriage all in good faith took it all out of her. Being battered, hiding it, and having no one to turn to almost sucked her dry of life.

These days her tiny tattoo, the rose strangled by its own stem, was a constant reminder of how precious life was. She was a tiny bloom and every breath she took, each living moment, wasn’t to be taken for granted. It was up to her to stay alive. Belief in God didn’t save her once before.

She wouldn’t rely on God, or anyone else, ever again.

Carson still swirled his finger along the tattoo. “Does it mean anything special?” he asked while staring straight into her eyes, without stopping from tracing the design.

She couldn’t divulge everything that just went through her mind, but she owed him some truth. “It means life to me. How sweet and pure life can be when it blooms, it becomes something magnificent. I don’t know. When I was younger, I found beauty and some crazy meaning in the delicate flower design.”

Her hand reached out on its own volition and traced Carson’s markings on his forearm. Just the heat from touching his skin scorched Sienna. Their skin coming together was like a wildfire spreading through a wooded area.

“And this?”

“It’s ancient Arabic for
alone
. I, too, was much younger and feeling sorry for myself. No siblings, my mom up and gone since I was little, and I was the new guy in the FBI. I felt alone, and on one of my solo trips, I got this. Now it reminds me not to go back to that place of despair. To enjoy life. I guess our tattoos are pretty similar.”

Sienna nodded. “It’s hard to feel alone. I know, but we make the most of what we have. Like Asher made a family at the club for all of us. He, too, didn’t have a mom or dad to speak of, so he created a life for himself. I guess we all found one another for a reason. Like you and me.”

Feeling relaxed and sentimental was dangerous, Sienna realized. Too many truths were rolling from her mouth. She stiffened, determined not to reveal any more.

Then Carson reached over and kissed Sienna with a force and power that was both beautiful and aggressive, which brought a headier problem for her. They were in unknown territory, and she was trying to avoid emotional land mines as they rushed to each other.

It just didn’t seem possible.

Steam from the hot bath hung like a cloud of want and desire, waiting to burst all around them as Carson rubbed her arms, massaging her tired limbs, stopping to caress her breasts, his fingers giving a small squeeze to her nipples. He finally licked softly around one nipple, and then the other. He pinched each nipple again and soothed the slight but decadent pain with the warm heat of his tongue. The mixing of hot and cold on her breasts drove a little moan from Sienna’s throat.

Finally, he leaned her slightly back, keeping an arm wrapped around her back for support, and slid her yoga pants down her legs. She was totally bare underneath, and he took his time running his strong, rough hands down her smooth legs, coming back up again, slipping one finger inside her most sensitive area where her thighs met.

He had her breathless within seconds with just a little flick of his thumb while his other finger remained deep inside her, finding and rubbing her pulsing need. The sound of the water running, filling the tub, drowned out Sienna’s moans and gasps for air, but her reflection in the mirror showed the growing pleasure clear as day.

Carson’s eyes were directly on the real thing, not the mirror, staring her straight in the face, devouring her pleasure. He moved slowly, teasing her to the edge, softening his stroke even further, then finally picking up the pace, drawing her climax in a rush.

Sienna thought he must think she was so stupidly innocent and young when she went off like a rocket from just a few touches and twitches to her core. On the edge of a bathtub, no less.

No one had ever really spent time exploring her body, adoring it the way he just did. He worked her as if he had known her for years. Carson knew exactly what to do, how much pressure, where to touch a little rougher or a little softer, until she screamed his name in ecstasy. Although she wasn’t sure if it was the intimate touch or the adoration she saw in Carson’s expression that put her over the edge.

Sienna was once again ashamed of her lack of experience and lowered her gaze to the bathroom tile. Carson, always appearing to be in tune with her thoughts, seemed to understand. He didn’t give her a free minute to try to talk or explain. Not allowing her any time to be ashamed in the guilty pleasure he gave her, he helped Sienna into the tub so that the soft bubbles and warm water could envelop her. He tipped her face to his with a gentle hand on her chin, and said, “Just relax.”

With those two words, he stood up and disappeared down the hall to retrieve a cup of coffee for her. He already knew how she took it, with one sugar and a drop of cream, from their botched casino trip. He was the first man to know. Except for Asher, but he didn’t count.

Sienna sank into the water, closing her eyes and breathing in her own arousal and orgasm. The scent permeated the bathroom. It smelled like heaven to her, to take in her own sensual scent. It reminded her she was alive, experiencing some of the best parts of life for the first time.

Carson came back and sat on the side of the tub with their drinks. He pulled his shirt off, reached over for the soap, and started lathering Sienna. Another first. Ever.

Sienna could no longer think about anything except for Carson. He was everywhere, surrounding her with his masculine musk, touching, feeling, caressing, and commanding every emotion she had hidden deep within her. She never wanted to leave the tub.

She was in a dreamlike state when he whispered, “You’re so beautiful inside and out, Sienna.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” she admitted. “You’re so beautiful to me, too, but I don’t think you say that to a man.”

Carson smiled, his dimple making an appearance just for her, warming her heart. “I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong, because connecting with someone on this level is not something I’ve done, but I like hearing it, feminine or not.”

She sank deeper in the tub, wishing she could hide. “We’re sort of connecting pretty fast. At least, I think this is fast, and I guess I’m sort of embarrassed by it all,” she said as he continued to soap her whole body, massaging down the front of her chest, paying close attention to her breasts.

When did I become close enough to someone to allow them to do this?

The way Carson was washing her while speaking hushed words and declarations was the most intimate experience she ever had.

Carson gave her a speculative look, then murmured, “Yes, pretty fast. It feels right, though. Nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, and the fact that this is new for you makes it even better for me.” He dropped the soap and leaned in for a kiss. When she felt his hands weave through her damp hair, she placed hers around his neck, and rubbed a thumb along his hairline.

He moaned.

Lost in the sound of his desire for her, Sienna didn’t immediately notice Carson was rinsing her, helping her out of the tub, drying and bundling her in a towel, and carrying her to the bed, where he ravaged her with his hands, mouth, and tongue all over again.

It was like nothing she had ever experienced before; no part of her body was left undiscovered. Carson’s mouth started on her breasts, licking, lightly teasing with his tongue, and mapping them with his feathery breath before traveling below. Completely dedicated to pleasing her until his name was the only word her mouth could form, and she was pulling his hair with reckless abandon.

When it was all over and she was coming down from her second high of the night, Sienna lay perfectly still with tremors quaking through her spine, unsure how she was going to escape. The notion of leaving whatever this was between the two of them became even more removed as Carson pulled a condom out of his pocket while seeking silent approval that she was ready for that step.

He looked straight into her eyes and she couldn’t avoid looking right back into his. They were like a molten chocolate abyss, inviting her, beckoning her to be one with him. She smiled, nodded her head, and pulled him toward her. That was all it took before he was sinking deep inside her.

There was no question in her mind, Carson was making love to her. Each thrust was even, smooth, drawn out as the two of them locked eyes and mouths. He gently rocked into her, coaxing her third orgasm of the night from her by delving in slowly, pulling his full length in and out at a torturous crawl, letting her feel the full length of him, hitting every nerve, and making her entire body vibrate with pleasure.

He brought Sienna’s hand down to feel the connection between the two of them. She felt the place where they became one and let her fingers linger there for a few thrusts before he lifted her hands over her head, picked up his speed, and brought them to an altogether new plateau.

Carson was equally deep inside her mind as her body. She could barely breathe from the fireworks happening throughout herself, yet she felt more alive than any other moment in her life with thoughts of Carson drifting through her head. He was a good one. He might be big and tough, drive fast, and indulge in a bit of scotch, but he was a decent man. And he was inside of her.

With one more deep push, Carson reached his own climax. Sienna savored the way he pulsed inside her, wrapping his arms tight around her as he did, whispering how incredibly wonderful she felt.