Elemental Hunger (30 page)

Isaiah laughed as I followed him downstairs. “Lighten up. He just likes you. I’ve heard all about the dress, and how you’re gonna look in it. That boy can talk and talk.”

“This has got to be some kind of sick joke,” I said. Adam disappeared into his room with Hanai right behind. Isaiah lumbered inside, a firm grip on Cat’s hand.

“Cat?” Enough
I’m-freaking-out
vibes carried in that single word to cause her to turn.

She took one look at my face before whispering to Isaiah and pulling Adam’s door closed. Smiling, she linked her arm through mine. I let her lead me down the hall to our room.

Cat’s gentle presence filled the void in my life, just as it always had. She bustled around the room, lighting lamps and opening bottles of water.

I sat on the end of her bed, twisting my hands.

“Who’d you choose?” she asked, settling next to me and offering me a water bottle.

I took a long drink, hoping to coax the name into speech. “Adam.” Despite the water, the name seared my throat.

“Oh.”

That was all she said. I couldn’t tell if the news upset her or if she thought I’d chosen wrong.

“You have a long time to wed,” she added.

I could only nod my understanding.

She knelt in front of me, forcing me to look at her. “Don’t worry, Gabby. Councils get mixed up all the time. Diplomacy training is fluid; we switch Elementals to find the best fit for our combined powers.” She gripped my hands. “Adam could be reassigned. Hardly anyone marries the initial person they chose when they chartered. It will be okay.”

Her words brought hope. “I’m going to change the law.”

She smiled. “Of course you are.”

“I haven’t told Adam.” The weight of having to tell him—out loud—crushed the air right out of my lungs.

“I talked to him before dinner,” Cat said.

I wiped a hand over my still-shorn hair. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends, but things should be okay between us now.”

“What did you and Adam talk about?”

“Just about what happened in Hesterton.”

“Is that another city?” I’d never heard of Hesterton, as I hadn’t been privileged to take geography before becoming a fugitive.

She nodded. “Adam and Felix followed our Council there. Alex had ordered our execution—and anyone who stood in the way.”

“But you and Isaiah, you’re still alive.” I had a million questions, but maybe Cat would simply tell the story.

“Yes, we’re still alive.”

Or maybe not. “Okay, fine. I have to tell you something. Something about Adam. Then you’ll tell me everything between you guys, okay?” I didn’t wait for her consent. I checked the bedroom door to make sure it was locked.

I told Cat everything.

Part 1: What Hanai had said about Adam talking on a phone.

Part 2: How Hanai and I had something going on. Something I couldn’t really name, but existed nonetheless.

Cat listened, her eyes widening in all the right places, her mouth dropping open during the most dramatic parts. Then her eyes took on a knowing glow and she hugged me. “I knew you liked Hanai.”

I waved away the relationship stuff. “What do you know about Adam? I have to know everything, so I can make the best decision.”

She studied me, her beautiful eyes contemplative. “You won’t like it.”

“Like I liked it when you and Isaiah left me alone in Crylon? Or the way I liked it when Jarvis picked my best friend for his Council instead of me?” I crossed my arms. “Trust me, there’s very little I like about my life.”

Cat smiled in her sad way, true empathy etched in the lines around her mouth. “I’m sorry, Gabby. I know things haven’t been easy for you.” She drew in a deep breath. “I watched Adam kill my Councilman by holding his hand over his chest. He smothered him without touching him. No fingerprints. No blood.”

I pressed my eyes closed, trying to erase the image of the dying chicken. He’d killed it the same way. Back then, I’d been terrified, but amazed. Now, my stomach lurched.

Cat touched my arm, and I opened my eyes. “Even as he did it, I knew he didn’t want to. But he wiped away that emotion and did his job. That’s what he said this afternoon. That it was his job, and he didn’t have a choice.”

I laughed, but it sounded like a bark. “Yeah, but he certainly has a choice now, doesn’t he?”

Cat shook her head, a slight fire entering her eyes. “He was right. You don’t understand. You’ve never been on a Council. You’ve never feared for your life. You’ve never pledged—”

“Never feared for my life? What do you think this is? Everyone thinks I’m some sort of freak who can’t do anything. Or worse, they think I’m going to be exactly like Alex. If she doesn’t kill me first.” My breath came too fast. My chest couldn’t expand enough.

Cat sighed. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that, well, as much as I blame Adam for Reggie’s death, it’s not entirely his fault, you know? Now, Felix, he’s heartless.”

My Element flared at the mention of Felix.

“
He
tried to rape me.” Cat delivered the final blow with short, even syllables.

I bent over, clutching my stomach. My fire raged inside, but I managed to choke out, “Where was Adam?”

“You should ask him.” She refused to say any more. “I need to talk to Isaiah before the ceremony. I’ll be right back to help you get ready.”

After she left, I tried to organize the words I needed to tell Adam that I had chosen him for my Council husband.

Result: [   ]

While I stood
in my bedroom, a knock sounded on the door. Adam entered and held up the blue half-dress. “I had it cleaned.”

I glared at a spot over his shoulder. “You wasted your time.”

“Come on. Wear this tonight.” His eyes shone with a mixture of emotions I couldn’t sort through.

My heart thumped when he closed the door. “Leave it on the bed,” I said, turning back to the window. “It’s not going to fit.”

“Oh, it’s gonna fit,” he said with a laugh. He pulled me into a hug. “Are you ready for tonight?”

My skin crawled with his touch—in a good way. He also repulsed me. My Element reacted to my screwed up emotions, and Adam jerked his hands away.

“Sorry.” But I felt better when he wasn’t touching me. My skin cooled.

He tilted his head and studied me. “Everything okay?”

A deep breath settled my nerves further. “Yes. No. I’m just—worried about tonight.”

His mouth creased, like he didn’t believe me.

“Are you ready?” I asked before he could say anything else.

“I’ve waited for a Council for a long time.”

Well, at least we’ve stopped lying to each other,
I thought as I watched the late winter sun spit weak light on the city. The shadows lengthened as Adam moved behind me.

I was so conflicted. I liked the way Adam made me feel about myself. But he was still an active sentry. Probably recording everything, waiting for a chance to kill me. Besides, I couldn’t erase the feelings I had for Hanai, and I didn’t want to.

The air in my lungs evaporated. My heart squeezed, squeezed into my throat. I needed to ask Adam about Cat, about Hesterton—

He pulled away. “Tornadoes. You’ve got some raging energy flowing into the air. What’s up?”

I called on my fire and turned around. Both of my fists burst into flames. Adam stepped back, the briefest flash of fear stealing through his eyes. “Honesty policy. What happened in Hesterton?”

Adam’s mouth hardened. “What did Cat tell you?”

“What did
you
tell
her?
”

He looked at his hand. “I told her the truth.”

“Tell me, then.”

He sat down, his gaze focused on the floor. “When the Supremist gives orders, you follow them. Or you die.”

His voice lost all emotion as he related his orders to find the rogue Elementals and kill them. When he and Felix found the Council, Reggie—the Councilman—offered himself for the safety of the rest of his Council.

“Alex expected one less Elemental in the world. She got what she wanted.” He met my eye. “I swear I didn’t want to kill him.”

But you still did,
I thought. So many other things battled inside. Hanai’s secret. Adam’s tattoo.

“And everyone else on his Council is still alive,” Adam added.

“Where were you yesterday?” I asked. Maybe I could get him to slip and say something contradictory.

“I honestly don’t know.” He touched his ribcage. “I still have the wounds, so I’m guessing not somewhere nice.”

“What were you doing?”

He glanced at me, his expression hooded. “I don’t remember anything after falling twenty stories down an elevator shaft.”

“Where’s your brother?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. Not far away, I’m guessing.”

“What did he do to Cat?”

“I am not my brother.”

“But you were there!”

Adam stood, his eyes unyielding. His anger soared across the space between us, causing my fire to burn hotter.

“I did my job.”

“Blazes,” I swore. “Did he rape her or not?”

“No.”

“You know for sure?”

“Yes. Like you said, I was there.”

My fury lessened. I guess if Cat could forgive him, I couldn’t hold Reggie’s death against him. Now all I had was Hanai’s story about Adam’s phone conversation and the flicker of a black line I’d seen on his back.

Which meant I had nothing. Or did I?

“Are you done interrogating me?” Adam glared, his words biting into my conflicted emotions.

“For now.”

The tension drained from the room, leaving me exhausted and Adam’s shoulders slanted.

“I’m sorry, Gabby. I’ve tried to tell you about Hesterton a hundred times.”

I inhaled, trying to think. “Maybe we just need more time. In a day or two—”

“I don’t have a day or two,” Adam snapped. The air turned icy, and a glacial breeze cascaded over my skin. “Sorry,” he murmured, sliding into the shadows. “I just need the charter to be in place. I’m worried about Hanai bolting. Isaiah says you haven’t talked to him in days, and…I don’t wanna be controlled by the tattoo anymore.”

I frowned. “I talk to Isaiah. And Hanai isn’t going anywhere. And what do you mean ‘controlled by the tattoo’?”

Adam shivered in the cool air. I snapped my fingers and sent a ball of fire to warm it up. “Well?”

“Nothing. It’s gone now.” He turned to leave.

I lunged across the bed and grabbed his arm. “Is it? Is it really gone? Tell me the truth, Airmaster.”

He looked at me, his eyes the vacant, emotionless pools of a sentry. “Did you see it this afternoon?”

I wanted to scream in his face that I
had
seen it. That he was a liar, a sentry, a traitor. Instead, I released him and slid off the bed, my focus already out the window again.

“Try the dress on, Gabby.” He opened the door and left.

I noted that he hadn’t answered my question.

I tried on
the dress, and it fit—a little too well. “Holy hot blazes,” I muttered.

I gaped at the girl in the bathroom mirror. That person looked so
feminine
. The navy fabric shimmered in the bright electricity, turning my dark eyes more blue than brown. Tiny straps stretched over my shoulders, revealing my pale skin.

And I had a chest. For the first time that I could remember, I looked like a
girl
. I stared at her, completely bewildered by what I saw. Was this how Adam saw me? Hanai?

She
wasn’t
me.

I scrubbed my face and neck, desperate to become myself again. When I looked up, the foreign beauty stared back.

Heaving a sigh, I ran my wet hands over my hair. It stood up in spikes but instead of giving me a boyish appearance, I somehow looked even more fragile. Delicate.

Beautiful.

My pulse raced along with a river of fire through my veins.

I couldn’t go to the chartering ceremony in that dress. Turning around to find something to change into, I almost slammed into Cat. She wore a gorgeous burgundy dress with white lace at the collar and cuffs. It showed all the right curves, but not too much. She’d always been pure girl and actually looked comfortable in the monstrosity of a dress.