Elements of Retrofit (8 page)

Chapter Nine

The downside of being twenty-two is not knowing when you’ve had enough to drink. The upside of being twenty-two is how quickly you recover from drinking too much.

Whereas I’d have been hungover for an entire day, he woke up okay. He groaned a bit, didn’t speak much, drank his coffee, then he drank mine. He swore he was never drinking again, told me it was my fault for letting him go out, showered, dressed in one of my older suits and went to work.

He left before me, and as I walked through my lobby fifteen minutes later, Lionel winked at me. “He keeps you busy.”

There was no point in denying it. “He does.” Then I stopped walking. “Did he say anything to you last night?”

Lionel laughed. “Only that he couldn’t understand why I didn’t like him. I wasn’t going to interrupt you, sir, but he wouldn’t shut up,” he said. “But this morning he was a little less talkative.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Have a good day, Lionel.”

“You too, sir.”

I smiled all the way to work, and Jennifer being her usual professional self, smiled right back at me. “Good morning, Mr Elkin. Coffee’s on your desk.”

It was a completely normal Friday. Busy, productive, but normal. I did see Cooper drink more coffee than normal, but he never missed a beat.

Then just before lunch, Jennifer knocked on my door. “Can I have a moment?”

I blinked in surprise, but closed my laptop, giving her my undivided attention. “What is it?”

She sat down in a chair at my desk, something she’d never done before. “Your meeting with Mr Takosama,” she said quietly, “scheduled for next month in Tokyo, has been brought forward.”

“Okay,” I said, not fully understanding why she was being so cautious.

“He has two days free this week in Sydney, Australia. I took the liberty of securing the appointment,” she said. “I know it’s short notice, but it will give you less time to think of a reason not to go.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?”

Jennifer hesitated. “I booked two tickets.”

“
Two
tickets?”

She swallowed and whispered, “I thought Mr Jones could accompany you.”

I stared at her. I had to tell myself to close my mouth, while my brain caught up. There was no way Jennifer would say something like this, act so carefully, if she wasn’t sure.

Without any doubt in my mind, she knew.

“How did you know?” I asked quietly. “Did someone say something? Has anyone in the office said anything?” Then a cold dread crept up my spine. “Did Cooper say something?”

“Oh, heavens no,” she said. “He’s not breathed a word of it. Going by him, I’d never had suspected a thing. But you on the other hand…”

“Me?”

She smiled kindly at me. “It’s the way you look at him.”

“The way I what?”

“The way you look at him,” she repeated. “Like the boy hung the moon.” I went to correct her on the word ‘boy’ but she looked at me, daring me to argue. “I’m almost sixty. He’s a boy to me. And there’s the fact he’s wearing the suit you bought last year.”

I sighed and could feel myself blush. There was no point in denying it with her. So I confirmed what she already knew. “Yes, he’s young, but he’s smart, and he’s so switched on. He has the tenacity and arrogance that comes with being twenty-something, but he’s… I don’t know…he’s sweet and funny, and when we’re together, there’s no age difference between us.” I don’t know why I was telling her this. But I needed to tell
someone
.

Jennifer smiled. “But?”

“But I don’t know what I want. It took a lot for me to finally own up to my wife, and to myself, and admit that I was gay. It’s been five years of finally living my real life, knowing exactly what I want, and knowing exactly who I am. But this is the first time that I don’t know what I want at all.”

Jennifer shook her head. “No, I think it’s the first time you know
exactly
what you want.” Then she sighed. “Tom.” It was the first time she’d ever called me by my first name. “He makes you happy. I’ve never seen you so happy. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. It’s about you.”

There was a knock at the door. I didn’t know whether to be sorry or grateful for the interruption. I cleared my throat. “Come in,” I called out.

Of all people, it was Cooper. He stuck his head around the door and when he saw Jennifer, without even saying hello, he said, “Oh, I can come back.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jennifer said, standing up. “Mr Jones, please come in.” Cooper did as he was bid, but looked at the older lady nervously. She pursed her lips. “Have you got a passport?”

He looked at me, then back to Jennifer. “Yes?”

“Good,” she said, matter-of-factly. “You’ll be going to Sydney with Mr Elkin for four days. You leave tomorrow.”

Cooper blinked. “Um…”

“Mr Jones,” Jennifer said brusquely. “Normally I would accompany Mr Elkin on such trips, but my granddaughter is the first broccoli singing in a line of vegetables in her first-grade recital. I simply cannot miss it.”

Cooper blinked again, and I think he tried not to smile. “Very well. I’m sure your granddaughter will be a great…broccoli.”

Jennifer stared at him. “You’ll fly out tomorrow, six a.m. I’ve booked flights and accommodation, but if you need to make arrangements, please do so now,” she said, shooing him, dismissing him.

The door closed behind him, and I looked at Jennifer and laughed. “You scare him, you know.”

She smiled. “Oh, I know. Helps keep them in line.”

I sighed. “And the trip to Sydney?”

“All legitimate, of course,” she said with a sniff. “You
do
have a meeting with Mr Takosama. He’s expecting you. I have updated your schedule, and you’ll be busy enough. But Mr Jones will have a list a mile long of things to do.” Then she softened. “But I thought you could use the time away.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Thank you, Jennifer.”

“It’s only four days,” she said. “Being away from here will put a little perspective on things.”

Four days. Four days in a different city, four days to be ourselves.

“His internship is almost over,” she said. “Four more weeks. You’ll need to keep a lid on things until then.”

“I know,” I answered. “He knows that too.”

She gave a curt nod. “What will you do after that?” she asked, looking me square in the eye. “Will you take him on here at the firm?”

I whispered, “I don’t know.”

“He’s very good,” she said from the door. “One of the best.”

“Yes, he is.”

“But?”

But I can’t date a fellow employee. It’s against company policy.
Fuck, I was already so far in breach of company policy. Jennifer knew this. I presumed this was her point. “But…it’s complicated.”

“Yes, it is,” she said. “For what it’s worth, it’s good to see you happy.” She opened the door and closed it quietly behind her.

I tried to get my head back into the job I was halfway through researching, but gave up and stared out across the blue skies of New York instead. Jennifer came in a few hours later, handed me files and instructions on the Takosama job, handed over the flight confirmation slips and accommodation reservation information and told me to go home.

Figuring I had the next four days with Cooper, I suggested I pick him up from his place at half past four in the morning. When he got in the car, despite the early hour, he was bright-eyed, but quiet, obviously not wanting to speak in front of a company driver.

He was quiet as we checked in, and he was trying not to smile as we got coffee waiting to board. And by the time we finally got into our seats in first-class, he couldn’t stop grinning. “This is awesome!” he whisper-shouted from the seat next to mine. “I can’t believe Jennifer passed this up!”

“Jennifer knows about us,” I told him as I got settled in. “She made you her replacement because she wanted us to have some time alone.”

He was quiet, so I looked over at him. He was gaping. “She…she
knows
?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“How?”

I considered lying but decided to tell him the truth. “The way I look at you, apparently.”

He stared at me and blinked, three, maybe four times, seemingly having lost the ability to speak. He fell back into his seat and looked pale.

I turned side on to face him and took his hand. “She won’t tell a soul, I promise. She’s the utmost professional, Cooper. She won’t tell anyone.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked. “If she knows, then maybe someone else does?”

I shook my head. “No, she knows me, she knows me better than most people. She knew I’d separated from my wife by the fact I changed my cologne…well, that and the long hours and sleeplessness. But, believe me, no one else knows.”

He sighed and seemed to relax. “By the way you look at me? What does that mean?”

“Apparently I smile when I see you,” I told him seriously. “I’m trying to stop doing that.”

“Right,” he said with a laugh. “Look at me.”

I did, I looked right at him. At his smirking lips, the slight dimple in his cheek, his bright and smiling eyes. And I smiled.

“Oh, you’re hopeless,” he said, shaking his head. Then he sighed dramatically. “Four days, huh? We’ve got four days before we have to go back to reality?”

I nodded. “We do have work to do on this trip.”

“Oh, I know,” he said. “The list Jennifer gave me is taller than the Empire State.” He shook his head. “She gave it to me, I looked at it and she said if I couldn’t manage it, she’d find someone more competent.” Then he looked at me. “She doesn’t like me, and now you tell me she knows we’re…seeing each other?”

“She doesn’t not like you,” I told him. “She does it to keep you on your toes. In fact, she told me you were one of the best interns she’d ever seen.”

“She said that?” he asked brightly. He sat back in his seat and smiled. “I
knew
she liked me.”

I laughed at him. “Don’t let on, though. She likes everyone to think she’s mean.”

He grinned like he had her all figured out, but as soon as we were at elevation, he pulled out his laptop and made a start on Jennifer’s list.

* * * *

We arrived at the Hilton in Sydney to check in, to find Jennifer had booked only one room.

“Is that a problem, sir?” the clerk asked.

Cooper answered quickly, “No, it’s fine. We’ll take it.”

I glared at him, but he just grinned, signed us in and took the key.

The room was extravagant and lovely, overlooking the city and the view was spectacular. But the very large,
only
bed made me nervous. Sure, we’d slept in the same bed before, but this was different.

I knew what we were going to do in this bed.

I put my bags down, and despite how long we’d just spent on a plane, despite the time it was in Sydney, I looked at him nervously. “Wanna go and check out some sights?”

Cooper looked at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s almost ten. What
sights
can we see at ten o’clock at night?”

“Let’s go find out,” I said.

“You know,” Cooper said. He was staring at the huge, white bed. “This bed won’t bite.” I looked at him quickly then chuckled, embarrassed. He laughed at me. “I might bite, but the bed won’t.”

I cleared my throat. “Come on, some air will do us good.”

He rolled his eyes, sighed for effect, but then opened his suitcase and pulled out a jacket and woollen beanie. “I can’t believe we left summer to go somewhere it’s winter. Who the hell does that?” he mumbled to himself.

I grabbed my coat too, and after I’d put it on, Cooper grabbed the key, then he grabbed my hand. “We can hold hands here,” he said as we walked towards the elevator. “No one knows us.”

I didn’t object, and when I looked into the mirrored wall inside the elevator, Cooper smiled at us in the reflection. “Looking mighty fine tonight, Mr Elkin,” he said.

I looked at him in his winter coat and the beanie pulled over his hair. “Not too bad yourself, Mr Jones.”

He kissed my cheek quickly before the elevator doors opened and he pulled me out through the lobby of the hotel and onto the street. He’d never been to Sydney before, and his excitement and enthusiasm was adorable.

It was cold, but we walked a few blocks, looking in shop windows and there were even some souvenir shops and 7-Eleven style shops still open. Cooper dragged me into some. He bought a few things as we went, some I looked at, some I waited outside for, and when he’d obviously seen enough, he declared he wanted to go back to the hotel.

We’d slept on and off on the plane, but figuring he must still be tired, I didn’t mind. When we walked in, still holding my hand, he led me straight to the bedroom. “Cooper, what are you doing?”

Then he upended one of the bags of things he’d just bought, and the contents spilled onto the bed.

A box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

I looked at Cooper and before I could say anything, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. He held my face to his and kissed me like he’d never kissed me before. I could taste the urgency on his tongue, feel it in his hands.

He finally pulled his mouth from mine, but still held my face to his. “Tom, I need you. Please.”

I couldn’t argue. I couldn’t deny how much I wanted him. So I kissed him in a way that told him I would have him.

Not taking my mouth from his, I reached up and pulled his beanie off then slipping my hands under his jacket, I pushed it off his shoulders.

He fumbled with my coat and tried too quickly to toe out of his shoes. “Slow down, Cooper,” I murmured against his lips. “It’s okay, I’ll take my time with you.”

He nodded, and when he kissed me again, it was slower. He was calmer, but no less certain.

I undressed him, like I’d done plenty of times before, but this was different. I kissed down his neck, I ran my hands over every inch of skin I could reach. And he let me. He let me take charge, he wanted me to.

When he was naked, I told him to lie down on the bed, and slowly undressed myself as I watched him. His long, taut body was stretched out before me, his erection standing proud from his body.