Elizabeth's Daughter (10 page)

  “Not strange. Not the least bit strange,” Gail proclaimed. “The rooster never worries about the hens
in
the pen. But you’re suddenly doing new things and it looks to him like you’ve escaped. He figures he has to put in extra effort.”

  “You think so?” Elizabeth asked. “If I was doing anything for him to be at all, the tiniest bit suspicious... but in fact, with a baby, I’ll be tied down, not... ‘loose’.”

  “So you haven’t told him about the baby?”

  “No, because... “ Elizabeth stopped short. “Well, I didn’t know why, but now I see it’s because I don’t want to encounter his disapproval, in case he disapproved. And he always disapproves of anything that’s not his own idea.”

  “Were you afraid he might dissuade you?” Gail picked out another pastry.

  “Not a chance! But I didn’t want negative energy of any sort. And, well, I just feel so private about Amy. As if, I think, almost as if I’m going through some sort of mental gestation. I’m so-o-o happy. I haven’t been able to get Amy out of my mind for a minute. Not for a single minute. I woke twice last night feeling excited, and both times I’d been dreaming about her. Nice dreams.

  “I didn’t even know I was so strong-willed, but I won’t let anything interfere with my intentions of making Amy happy and healthy.” Elizabeth paused. “And having you here, and happy with us too, Gail, if you want to be a part of our family.”

  “I’d love to be part of your family!” Gail said grinning. And they raised their tea mugs one more time to seal their bond.

Chapter XII

Gail planned to move in Thursday night and Mrs. Vargas was bringing Amy over Friday evening.

  Thursday afternoon Tony called Elizabeth into his office and gestured her to be seated.

  Standing over her, he studied her for a long moment, then said, “you’re just... glowing, Liz.”

  “Oh?” Elizabeth fussed with the pleats in her skirt.

  He was silent for another long moment then he sat on the corner of his desk and folded his arms. Elizabeth glanced up at him, his beauty virtually over-powering, with his black hair, black eyes, wearing a black turtleneck sweater. “Anyway,” he said, relaxing and pasting on his smile, “I wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten dinner tomorrow night.”

  “Dinner? Tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten... or maybe you just forgot that tomorrow is Friday?”

  “Yes... no... I mean....” What
do
I mean? Elizabeth wondered. “Nothing was definite.”

  “Well, I’m free tomorrow, so it’s definite.” Tony walked around his desk and settled in his chair as if the interview was over.

  “But... I’m... n-not free,” Elizabeth stammered.

  The vein in Tony’s left temple became visible and the vertical line between his eyebrows deepened. “You’re n-not free?” he mimicked with cruel precision.

  “That’s right.” Why am I so loathe to tell him about Amy? All I’m doing is raising his ire unnecessarily.

  Tony didn’t move a muscle.

  “Look, Tony, the thing is, I guess I don’t feel close enough to you to share what’s going on in my life. And brow-beating won’t get it out of me.”

  “Brow-beating!” Tony shook his head in disgusted disbelief. “Good grief, Elizabeth, melodrama isn’t necessary.”

  Tony’s phone rang.

  Elizabeth stood and left his office, feeling shaky. I have too much to look forward to, to let some odd notion of jealousy from a man interfere with my life! she argued silently with herself.

  Tony didn’t talk with her the rest of the day. And for the rest of the day, she told herself she didn’t need his approval. But in her heart of hearts, she hated to think that their once or twice a week dates would no longer be a part of her life.

  I have Amy now, and Gail, she reminded herself. Tony may be gorgeous... and he may make me feel like I’m gorgeous. But I don’t need him. She finally managed to turn her mind away from him and concentrate on her work.

  After Gail moved in that night, Elizabeth made a small cozy fire in the fireplace and the two of them settled down in front of it with hot cocoa and note pads to make lists of things Amy might need, and a list of things Elizabeth felt she needed to learn, which grew long and detailed.

  Finally Gail put down her pencil. “Don’t worry yourself sick, girl! You’ll be surprised how much instinct will come to you.”

  “I’m not really worrying, I just have all this energy!”

  “And you can’t wait.”

  “I can’t wait,” Elizabeth agreed. “But I
do
worry about taking Amy to the hospital, to surgery. She’s so tiny and so helpless.”

  “I’ll be here,” Gail said, reaching for a chocolate chip cookie. “I’ve been through much unhappier and less promising scenarios.”

  Elizabeth studied Gail. “Really?”

  “Yes. But I won’t go into those details on this, the eve of your motherhood. I just want you to know you can count on me.”

  Elizabeth nodded thoughtfully, feeling a kind of reverence for Gail. Even though Martha was her dear friend, she’d never felt the same kind of closeness with Martha in years, that she’d felt with Gail within minutes. She hoped that in ten or twelve years she would become strong and wise like Gail.

  “Are you having a nice trip?” Gail asked as Elizabeth studied these thoughts out in her cocoa mug.

  Elizabeth giggled self-consciously. “I was just... hoping I’ll grow up to be like you some day!”

  Gail laughed, her plump cheeks ballooning. “Well, thank you, Liz-girl. I hope you grow up like me too, I suppose. Without the excess baggage.” She tweaked her own chubby cheek.

  They laughed, then decided they’d better retire. Tomorrow would be a big day.

  Tony continued avoiding Elizabeth the next day, and she realized that suited her just fine. She wished she didn’t have to be at work today and wondered how often she would have
that
feeling after Amy moved in. Between working full-time, and real-estate class on Monday nights, she could see that she’d be away from home more than she wanted. Maybe she’d start working part-time, she thought. It wasn’t as if she needed the money. The interest alone from Grandfather’s money was more than she could spend.

  As she thumbed through the multiple listing, she was thinking about her surprising metamorphosis. A mere month ago it would have been hard for her to imagine choosing not to go out with Tony. Now that emotion for Tony seemed insubstantial and adolescent when compared with the feelings she had for Amy.

  Tony left the office at three, and Elizabeth quickly followed suit. She didn’t even feel guilty. She had more important things to attend to than sell houses to strangers. She had to make a home for her own foster daughter.

  When Elizabeth came through the garage into the kitchen, Gail stood by the stove, her hair piled up on her head, gathered up by one of her wild scarves. There was a delicious aroma permeating the air. The house felt warm and cozy and, Elizabeth thought, almost as if it were animate, welcoming her home.

  “What smells so good?” Elizabeth asked. Looking at Gail she wondered if it was possible that she had ever not lived here.

  Gail brushed a wayward tendril of hair off her forehead, which immediately plopped back again. “Quinoa, broccoli, basil and garlic casserole.”

  Elizabeth put her purse and briefcase down in the living room, and came back into the kitchen. “But cooking isn’t part of your job description.”

  “You don’t want me to cook?” Gail asked.

  “I love you to cook. But you don’t have to.”

  “If you think I look forward to eating those frozen dinners you have in the freezer,” Gail pointed her wooden spoon at the offending appliance, “you’re wrong. And I can’t sit around all day, I have to keep busy.”

  “You’re a miracle, Gail,” Elizabeth said. “I think I’ll go up and luxuriate in a hot bath while you slave away in the galley.”

  “That’s a good idea, you look like you need to get rid of some tension. Be sure and put some Epsom salts in the water.”

  “Okay, Mom,” Elizabeth teased.

  Gail shook the wooden spoon at her in response.

  An hour-and-a-half later Elizabeth came back downstairs wearing comfortable, soft cords and an over-sized man’s plaid flannel shirt she’d found in the back of a closet. Peter had apparently over-looked it. She’d been meaning to ask him if he missed it, but she kept forgetting and now she’d grown attached to it.

  “That’s more like it,” Gail said when Elizabeth padded, barefoot, into the kitchen.

  “Are you still in the kitchen, or have you just returned?” Elizabeth asked, looking on the counter for the tea kettle.

  “I put the kettle on the stove when I heard you coming downstairs,” Gail pointed. “I was reading the paper. Then I thought I might try to whip up a bit of dessert if you happened to have the ingredients for anything, which you did.”

  “Really? What did you come up with?”

  “A strawberry mousse. Low calorie, and tasty.”

  “I hope it’s low calorie. Are you sure you aren’t trying to fatten me up?” Elizabeth accused.

  “I’ll bet you don’t put on weight no matter what you eat,” Gail said. “But don’t worry, I have an AA degree in nutrition.”

  “Gee Gail,” Elizabeth exclaimed, “is there anything you can’t do or don’t know?”

  Gail shrugged as if to say, whatever-I-don’t-know-isn’t-worth-knowing. “If what’s around here exemplifies your diet, your nutrition is not in balance. I’ll bet you don’t take vitamins either.”

  “Guilty,” Elizabeth confessed.

  “Motherhood requires energy, you know.”

  The front doorbell rang and Elizabeth and Gail hurried to answer it. Mrs. Vargas was carrying Amy and a pink duffel bag. Elizabeth and Gail rushed to empty her arms.

  “Thanks,” Mrs. Vargas said. “Excuse me for a moment, Amy has some more things.” She turned and scurried back to her car in the driveway.

  Elizabeth, holding Amy, went into the living room. She sat, staring down at her, forgetting everyone and everything. And Amy studied Elizabeth in return with that strange little lonely-yet-trusting look of hers.

  Soon Gail and Mrs. Vargas came in, arms loaded.

  “My goodness!” Elizabeth said. “Gail and I discussed some of the things we might have to get for the baby. It never crossed my mind that she would already have things of her own.”

  “Let me get dinner on the table,” Gail said.  She put down her load and went back into the kitchen.

  “How can you leave Amy?” Elizabeth marveled.

  Gail came back to the doorway. “It isn’t easy. But you’re the mommy, and Amy needs to get close to you. I’ll be with her all the time when you’re at work.”

  “Ugh! Don’t remind me!” Elizabeth said.

  Elizabeth turned to Mrs. Vargas. “I’ve been thinking how difficult it’ll be for me to work full-time with Amy here. How can I possibly leave her? I thought I might start working part-time.  I took the job because I wanted the occupation. But now,” she said, hugging Amy, “I have a vocation.”

  Mrs. Vargas smiled at Elizabeth, as she organized Amy’s belongings. “I’m certain you’ll make the right decisions, as decisions need to be made. And I trust Gail completely.”

  “Isn’t she something?” Elizabeth said enthusiastically.

  Looking down at Amy’s beautiful, sad face, an over-powering emotion welled up in Elizabeth. There in that little face were all her hopes for the future. She wanted nothing more. She looked up at Mrs. Vargas, tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m
just so happy!
”

  Mrs. Vargas nodded. “I understand. Completely.”

  There was a loud knocking at the door.

  Gail came into the living room. “Expecting company?”

  “No,” Elizabeth answered, “I’m not. Could you see who it is, please?”

  Mrs. Vargas and Elizabeth were quiet while Gail answered the door.

  “Yes?” Gail said.

  There was a long pause, then Elizabeth heard Tony’s voice. “Ahm, who are you?”

  Gail answered cooly, “ I could ask as much of you, but I suspect you’re Tony.”

  Elizabeth stood and went into the foyer. “Tony! What are you doing here?”

  “I...what’s that?” he quizzed, pointing at Amy.

  “It’s a baby, Tony,” Elizabeth answered. “What are you doing here?” she repeated.

  “Why are you crying?” Tony asked back.

  “Because I’m happy. Now, it’s definitely your turn to answer a question. Why are you here?”

  Tony cast a glance at Gail, then returned his attention to Elizabeth. “When you wouldn’t go out with me tonight, I figured something was going on. So I drove by. And I saw a strange car in your driveway. So I knocked.” He glanced at Gail again. “I guess you’re just having some girl friends over. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just told me that. Unless.... “

  “Unless what?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Unless you were trying to make me jealous.”

  Gail snorted.

  Both Tony and Elizabeth looked at her.

  “Sorry,” Gail said. “Excuse me.” She let go of the door handle and returned to the kitchen.

  “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t feel like it,” Elizabeth said to Tony. “But now that you’re here, I may as well give you the whole story so you can stop teasing your mind about it. Come on in.”

  Elizabeth led Tony into the living room. “Mrs. Vargas, this is my boss, Tony Antonella. Tony, this is Mrs. Vargas, a social worker. Gail, you just met. She’s the nanny I hired to help me take care of my foster daughter, Amy.” She turned Amy’s face toward Tony. “Isn’t she beautiful?”