Authors: Joan Aiken
With a small crooked smile â the first I had seen â she added, âNothing goes to waste in this house.'
And so this was how Mrs Ferrars and I spent the rest of that day: stepping upstairs she fetched down a drawerful of neat grey woollen gowns, besides calico petticoats, chemises and other items, most of which required some alteration before they would fit me. Nell Ferrars, I gathered, was a tall girl. There was a cloak, a bonnet, even stockings and gloves, many of which had already been carefully and exquisitely darned.
I was set to work turning up petticoats; Mrs Ferrars, herself a most superior needlewoman, evidently thought but poorly of my stitchwork. I struggled to improve it under her critical gaze. Meanwhile we talked: she asked me about my life at Nether Othery, and I supplied her with a carefully edited version of the doings there, but gave a fuller account of Lady Hariot's story, which she heard with considerable sympathy.
Then I ventured to inquire: âMa'am â can you tell me anything about my parents?'
She turned on me a startled eye, as if this were not a question that it was at all proper for me to ask.
After a moment's reflection, she replied, âYour mother â I understand â was a cousin of Colonel Brandon. Of your father â I am able to tell you nothing.'
I sighed, and said, âThank you, ma'am.'
With a comprehending look she said, âWhy do you not call me Cousin Elinor? And my husband Cousin Edward? We are not, in fact, related â Colonel Brandon is my brother-in-law â but perhaps that will make you feel more comfortable with us.'
Poor lady: I could see that she was not at all glad to have me, but was making the very best of the situation.
I said, âWhen shall I go to the school, Cousin Elinor?'
âI think we may have your clothes ready by next Saturday. On that day every week I send a package of fruit and vegetables to Bath on the carrier's cart; you can go with it and my maid Cerne shall accompany you. That will incur the least expense for Colonel Brandon.'
Incautiously I remarked, âI thought he was a rich man.'
âSo he is. All the more reason why we should take pains to see that his money is used carefully. And', she added scrupulously, âit would not be appropriate to say that he was
rich.
Comfortably circumstanced would better describe him.'
Care with money, I soon discovered, was the main element of life in the parsonage at Delaford. Everything spoke it: the darned curtains, the worn rugs, the plain and not very plentiful food. When Mr Ferrars came back from his pastoral visit, I noticed that he turned aside, at once, into the garden and set to work among his rows of vegetables.
Presently, in walked two people from the street, a maidservant with a shrewd, resigned, humorous face, and a little old lady in a silk mantle and handsome bonnet. She was dressed much finer than Mrs Ferrars â though untidily; she had a vacant and wandering eye.
âWell, Mother!' Cousin Elinor greeted her. âDid you enjoy your walk?'
The maid gave a sharp nod. âWalked as far as the turnpike, we did, mum; she'll have a rare appetite for her dinner.'
âCerne was very impertinent,' snapped the old lady.
âShe would go into Ford's and order a forequarter of pork and eight pounds of sausages,' explained Cerne with a grim smile.
âI
like
pork,' cried the old lady peevishly. âYou know I do, Elinor! I should fancy a dish of fried pork for my dinner.'
âPork is far too rich for you, Mother; you shall have some nice mutton stew. (This is my mother, Mrs Dashwood),' Mrs Ferrars added to me.
Now the old lady's eye lit on me. â
Marianne!'
she exclaimed in a tone of rapture.
âNo, Mama. That is not Marianne, though a little like her in feature. But look again! Her hair is quite a different colour. Your Marianne will return home, all in good time, and then we shall be very happy to welcome her. And you will return to the Manor House. But in the meantime this is Miss Eliza Williams, who spends a few nights with us, and then she will go off to school in Bath, with Nell.'
âI don't like Nell. Nell is a very rude and unkind girl. Sometimes she gives me a push. And she always takes the biggest piece of cake. âBut are you
sure
that is not Marianne? Somehow â somehow â her face makes me think of Marianne â when we were all living at Barton â when we were so happy â so happy â ' Mrs Dashwood's face crumpled. She began to cry a little.
âCome, ma'am,' said Cerne, not unkindly. âLet's get your bonnet and cloak off. And then you'll be wanting your eggnog.'
They went upstairs slowly, with much urging from the maid.
I could hear the old lady crying, âThere's a bird in the house! There's a bird!'
âNo, ma'am, there is no bird.'
âThere is a bird, I tell you! House! House! Where have you hidden the poor bird?'
âThere is no bird, Mrs Dashwood.'
A door closed, upstairs.
Cousin Elinor explained, rethreading her needle: âWhen my sister Marianne (Mrs Colonel Brandon) is at home, my mother resides with her, up at the Manor House. It is more comfortable for her there than with us. And Marianne was always her favourite daughter. (I am explaining these things to you, Eliza, because in many ways you seem remarkably sensible and older than your years.)'
âThank you, Cousin Elinor. When will â will Cousin Marianne come home?'
âIn about a year, we hope. I have missed her a great deal since she has been in India â and Colonel Brandon also. They are our dear friends and neighbours. But â for various reasons â he thought it best to rejoin his old regiment and commanding officer, although it meant such a long journey. And it was thought best â my sister was happy to accompany him. She is of a â of a very adventurous temperament.'
âThey have no children?'
âNo.' Cousin Elinor sighed. âThat has been . . . a grief to . . . to the Colonel. But â as matters turned out â perhaps it was fortunate. I only hope that when they do return my brother-in-law will decide to sell out and settle down at last. But I am apprehensive that if General Wellesley is sent to fight Bonaparte in Europe, the Colonel will think it his duty to remain on active service. And in that case I don't know
what
Marianne will do. She is so extremely devoted to her husband.'
Cousin Elinor frowned, knotting her thread. It struck me that Elinor Ferrars was a very lonely lady. I supposed that she missed having her sister to talk to and was using me as a substitute, inadequate though I must be. Mrs Dashwood was plainly touched in her wits; Mr Ferrars seemed to be out of doors nearly all the time, visiting his parishioners or digging in the garden. Very different from Dr Moultrie! â (Though, when together, the pair seemed affectionate enough, in their mild way, a great contrast to the Vexfords.)
To turn Cousin Elinor's thoughts, which seemed melancholy, I asked about the school in Bath.
âIt is not a very big one, fifty pupils only. But of very high standing. Most select. Colonel Brandon, very kindly â he is the kindest, most generous man in the world â pays for our daughter to be a parlour boarder there. And my other sister, Margaret, is one of the teachers. But, in the meantime â Eliza â I hope you will not think this unfair on our part â'
She paused, visibly embarrassed, biting her lips, plaiting together in folds the linen chemise that she was hemming.
I waited in polite silence.
âWe have not entered you as a boarder, you see â Mr Ferrars did not think it right to render Colonel Brandon accountable for such a large expense in his absence â so I have written to Mrs Haslam explaining your â your circumstances, and entering you as a day pupil.'
I must confess that my heart rose up at this information. I had not expected such a possibility. Indeed I had looked forward, with no little dread and dismay, to five years' penal incarceration. But I kept my voice and expression carefully blank as I inquired,
âWith whom then shall I be lodging, Cousin Elinor?'
âYour cousin Edward and I have an aunt residing in Bath â well, she is my mother's aunt in fact â Mrs Montford Jebb; she is a widow and lives in â in somewhat straitened circumstances; she will be happy to give you lodging, and she is in New King Street, so that will not be too far for you to walk to and from the school in Queen Square every day. (Mr Ferrars is going to provide you with money to buy yourself an umbrella, for it rains a great deal in Bath.)'
âYou are both excessively kind to me, ma'am.'
âOh, no, child; not excessively; indeed â ' she paused, appearing troubled, and murmured something about her sister Marianne which I did not catch. Then she added, âWe do no more than our duty, as your nearest connections. Your
only
connections.'
I said politely: âI shall look forward to meeting my cousin Nell.'
At that she seemed a little dubious.
âNell is about two years younger than you, my dear. She will be in a different class. Perhaps it may be best to wait until â to let her make the first overtures. Nell has â ' Cousin Elinor considered, delicately working her way round a buttonhole, then said, âShe has been used to be the only child of the house, you see. Her only brother â very sadly â died of a fall from his pony when he was five.'
âOh, how dreadful,' I said sincerely.
âYes. Yes it was. Really, Mr Ferrars has never â has never got over it. And so Nell â so Nell â well, we shall have to see.'
Thus leaving me with no very buoyant expectations of my cousin Nell.
Later that day, after a frugal meal of pease pie and whey, and stewed apples, and water to drink, I was occupying myself usefully in the garden, sweeping leaves when, unaware of my proximity just outside the window, Edward Ferrars said to his wife: âIt is best she not be in this house too much. Better if she spends the holidays with Aunt Jebb.'
âBecause of the resemblance? You think
he
might come to hear?'
âThere might be talk. The resemblance is so curiously strong. If you recall, Brandon first observed it in Marianne. That was why he â And then your mother, you say, also â'
âHush!
On croit que la petite est au dehors, pas loin d'ici,'
said Cousin Elinor, unaware that my French was probably better than hers.
This overheard snatch of conversation suddenly filled my mind with the notion that perhaps I was the child of Marianne Brandon. If so, no wonder that Mr and Mrs Ferrars did not want me in their home. But â on the other hand â no wonder they thought it their duty to see that I was provided for.
So who was my father?
***
On the whole I found it a decided relief to set off for Bath, humbly, in the carrier's cart, on the following Saturday, accompanied by two hampers of vegetables and the box containing my remade wardrobe. I felt very much as if I myself had been unpicked and made over in a new design. But the real self was still there, watchful, underneath.
On the journey I talked a good deal to Cerne, the servant, who proved not unfriendly.
âBest give a wide berth to Miss Nell,' she advised. âIf ever there was a spoilt, marred young 'un! And proud! She'd not give you the time of day if you had a diamond tied to every hair of your head. I can tell you, there was plenty about the village breathed easier when Miss Fine Airs went off to school. The only friend she ever made was young Ralph Mortimer over the valley. And he got sent away to Harrow. Mind â what young Ralph ever saw in her â'
I asked about Mrs Jebb. âIs she a kind lady?'
Cerne screwed up her nose reflectively. âWell â she's a mortal deal different since she went to prison.'
â
Prison?
'
âDidn't Mrs Ferrars tell you?'
âNo, she certainly didn't. Mr Ferrars started to say something â but then he was called away to a sick person. Cousin Elinor said nothing at all.'
âWell, I'll tell you how it was.' Cerne settled to her task with relish. âFor you did ought to know, 'count you'll say something okward to the poor lady. Five years ago, 'twas, when Mr Jebb was still alive, and he stood by her through thick and thin most faithful, poor gentleman, but it cost him his health, and he was never the same after. He was out with his lady one day a-strolling, and she bought a card of lace at a draper's shop near the Pump Room, and the next thing, the shopman came a-running after them declaring that Mrs Jebb had slipped
two
cards of lace into the packet, 'stead of just the one she'd paid for. And Mr Jebb said, no such thing, but let him look to satisfy himself, and so he looked, and â would you believe it â there 'twas! So the constable was called, and the poor lady was committed to jail, till Taunton Assizes. In Ilchester Jail, she was lodged, and the gentleman, her husband, along of her, for he said he'd never desert her in her troubles. And, mind you,
i
Æ she'd a been found guilty, she could a been hanged! The lace was worth five shillings, you see. Or, at the very least, transported to Botany Bay. Eight months, she continued in Ilchester jail, and then at the assizes, they brought in Not Guilty. In no more than fifteen minutes! They reckoned it was just a wicked try-on by the shop people, they'd slipped it in the parcel. And they'd expected Mr Jebb â who was a warm, and a well-respected man â would pay them hush money, so as to buy them off. But not he! Mr Ferrars reckoned he spent over two thousand pound in legal doings. Oh, there was
such
a crying and a kissing and a hooroaring when the poor lady was brought in Not Guilty. But it proved the death of him, poor man, he was never the same again, and his business failed, and he died; and after that she was obliged to live very quiet, for although found innocent, some of her former acquaintance fell away from her. She sold up the big house and moved to New King Street.'