Ella Minnow Pea (10 page)

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Authors: Mark Dunn

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The
*
uic
*
brown fox
*
umps over the la
*
y
**
g

 

NOLLOPTON

Satto-gatto, September 30

Mother,

So much to tell, so little time to tell it. Those who were present at last night’s meeting have chosen to embrace the challenge with absolute relish. The prospect of actually being able to control the outcome of this ghastly assault on our collective spirit, let alone our very humanity, by turning this offensive upon its cephalus, has sent some among our subterra movement to heights of unencompassable ecstasy. The best news of all: the Council is in full agreement with the challenge (It was official as of this morning.), so secure they seem to be in this asinine “unassailable” position of theirs. We approach the ramparts ourselves commensurably secure. High noon awaits.

At first Nate thought that he might get news to a computer programmer with whom he is familiar—a former college roommate in Orangeburg, South Carolina, who he is certain can crunch the letters, to, in effect, assemble the necessary sentence within a matter of hours. But if the Council were to learn that the sentence was put together by means of artificial intelligence, it might wholly thwart our primary purpose, this being to show that some other human—not Nollop—most certainly not an electronic computing apparatus—was able to come up with the obligatory sentence containing all twenty-six letters of the alphabet using only thirty-two letters in its execution. So he chose to expel that thought without pause. What it will come to will be this: one of us will create it: a sentence to surpass that of Holy Nollop. One of us shall, I am certain, achieve the goal of burying the myth of Nollop forever. For the next forty-six sun-to-suns, this will be our
raison
.

Mine, yours, even your gentleman companion Rory who perhaps is still unaware of the other legislation to come out of this
morning’s session: “All property left in state of nonoccupation through emigrantal vacatement will be given over to confiscatory oversight by the Council, then borne to official annexation into Nollopian tax-exempt ecclesiastical boroughs, thus falling within clear parameters of Council owner-management.” Even as things exist now, Councilman Harton Mangrove is in the process of moving with his family onto the estate of Georgie Boonswang, whose fish cannery after closure was left in similar circumstance of nonoccupation (but not without “proper” ownership, courtesy of egregious title-alteration!). Other Council members seem to be contemplating similar confiscatory moves.

I must close now to return to my labors with the “group”: Nate, Ella, Aunt Gwenette, Uncle Amos, each of us in pursuit of the magical, temporarily elusive sentence that shall result in our emancipation—to be sure, our very salvation! Albeit a more corporal form of salvation. Our souls, though, are another matter altogether. To apportion worshipful allegiance to both our Heavenly Omnigreatness, as well as to Nollop-the-mortal-marvel has become so very tiresome.

One Supreme Being is enough for me. I much prefer the former to the latter.

Love
,

Your Tassie

 

[Upon the Minnow Pea porch]

NOLLOPTON

Monty, October 2

My Tassie,

I am watching you through the pane. You sit at the table scribbling—scribbling, then erasing, biting, chewing the unfortunate pencil’s extremity as you contemplate. I share your chore. I might be your portico twin, in perch upon this fresco-chaise, performing same, were it not for glimpsing you through the glass. Such a beguiling sight—your long auburn tresses falling as cataract in shimmering filamentous pool upon the tabletop, gathering in swirl upon your notepaper—obscuring? framing? your toil. I must return to my own mental labors. But you have given me pleasant momentary respite.

My beautiful Tassie, I so love you.

Nate

 

NOLLOPVILLE

Monty, October 2

Mittie, my gentlenurse,

I appreciate so much the thermos of pullet soup you sent over. You will be happy to hear that I am feeling much better this morning. When I am stronger I am most eager to see you in some other capacity than nurse. (Not that you haven’t been an excellent caregiver.)

I trust that you are still well, that you haven’t caught this nasty flu circulating through the Village. These are not opportune times for any of us to be ill. There is much that we must accomplish.

I myself, in spite of the flu, have spent the better part of two nights coming up with a sentence containing all twenty-six letters of the alphabet of a length of less than fifty letters—forty-nine to be exact. I was hoping to surprise you with one of far more impressive brevity, but shall be happy with my initial effort. Still, though, it will not fit the ultimate bill; therefore, in concert with so many other villagers whose lamps burn late into the night, I will push on, whittling my count away.

Accompanying this letter is a note brought to you by Eugenia, a little neighbor girl whom you may have seen playing on the lawn next to mine. She is all of seven, but the perfect age to write my sentences for me for purpose of conveying them to you, so that you may monitor my progress. I expect you will employ a youngster yourself in similar fashion so that I may learn of your progress, as well. (What a convenient loophole the not-always-farseeing Council has given us by the exemption from these laws of little ones such as sweet, cooperative Eugenia. The only problem exists in getting across to her through a series of elaborate gestures or comic pointings my intent. For there really is no other legal avenue but
pantomime to communicate my full meaning to her. Then through her, to you. Bright youngsters are a precious asset in Nollopville in these troublesome times.)

Sincerely
,

Rory

 

A quick move by the enemy will jeopardize six fine gun boats.

 

NOLLOPVILLE

Toes, October 3

Rory,

Your sentence is so much better (also shorter) than mine! I am almost reluctant to show my efforts to you. But a promise is a promise. I am in collusion with a boy by the name of Wesley, son of the Noonans who own Noonan’s Florist. Wesley is very popular; I must share his services with four of my neighbors!

I am expecting a letter from Tassie. She will report how things are going in town. Rumor has it that someone—a professor with the university, I believe—has himself come in below 48. If this is true, it is very encouraging, is it not?

Sincerely
,

Your Mittie

 

Back in my quaint garden, jaunty zinnias vie with flaunting phlox.

 

NOLLOPTON

Wetty, October 4

Mother,

Two letters fell last night. “F.” Then another “O.” The Council plans to excise “F” as of twelve o’timepiece on the Thurby/Fribs cusp. I assume they will also instruct us now to shave consumption of the letter “O” by fifty percent.

There is at present fantastic support for what we in town have come to call, “Enterprise Thirty-two.” Still, the Council laughs at us. They taunt the little ones who write our sentences, who transport them between our houses. They gather in reverent, worshipful circles beneath the cenotaph to sing praises to Nollop. It is a stomach-churning sight even forgetting the abuses the Council is currently inflicting upon the remaining inhabitants of this isle. This recent confiscation of property is a clear violation of the National Constitution, yet Councilwoman Houston says we are now in an “extraconstitutional crisis” which calls for “extraconstitutional measures.” The Council is preparing for that moment in which language, as it once was, ceases to exist. As far as I can tell, such preparation involves chiefly the feathering of the counciliteurs’ own nests.

We pray to our own Omnipresence that the final moment never arrives. We’re getting closer. Professor Mannheim has given us a sentence with 47 letters. It is a simple sentence which the chosen six-year-young courier put to scription in no time at all.

Nate isn’t sleeping. I am after him to complete his first article for
Nollopiana
, but he seems bent on assisting with Enterprise Thirty-two. It is an obsession. The fear is gone, though. This noble movement has given us all a special courage.

I miss you. Be well. I hope to see you soon, when all of this is over.

Love
,

Tassie

 

John Prady, give me a black walnut box of quite small size.

 

NOLLOPTON

Thurby, October 5

Tassie,

You were not at home when they came. Three L.E.B. officers in possession of papers. Papers with my name on them. Your Cousin Ella was there, though. Your aunt, your uncle as well. They will tell you more this evening.

I write this from the Office of Corrections at Town Center. I must remain here until the chief magistrate is able to see me. I have a strong sense as to what this is about.

Apparently, someone has become aware of my publication. Information about my whereabouts has brought them straight to me.

If I am to be stolen from this Isle, stolen from you, it will be my own fault, through not using an alias when I came over. Will you ever forgive me, Tassie?

Will I ever see you again?

If you are giving any thought to coming with me, I will not allow it. You must stay to fight, because I cannot. This is not an act of gallantry, of heroism on my part. I am only being practical. I want you to be practical too. To contribute where I now cannot.

Be sure of it, my Tassie—that when the battle is won, we will be together again. Enterprise Thirty-two will be a success. It will be our happy fate, you’ll see.

Your cousin, your aunt, your uncle—they all agree with me. Even your mother up in the Village, I am sure, if it were put to her.

I will try to contact you before they put me on the boat. If I miss that opportunity, please write. Continue to write. You cannot let them stop you.

Soon we may all have to learn Hawaiian.

With love
,

Nate

 

NOLLOPTON

Thurby, October 5

Mother,

Nate is no longer with us. I enclose a copy of the letter he sent me. He was gone before I even got to Town Center. Banishment was swift. Swift, I believe, because of his alien status.

I am at a terrible loss, Mother—one I cannot even begin to articulate. Were there all twenty-six letters available for my use, my ability to translate my feelings, my thoughts of Nate to this page might still be put to supreme test.

“F” leaves us tonight. I haven’t even the strength to curse those beasts with that epithet you taught me never to say. It’s pointless at this point, anyway.

So long, “F.” So long, my sweet Nate. I will miss you. Ferociously so.

Love
,

Tassie

The
*
uic
*
br
*
wn
*
ox
*
umps over the la
*
y
**
g

HIGH COUNCIL

Ribs, October
13

Nollopians,

Many have come to us to learn whether or not, given the latest alphabetical prohibition, employing tetra/penta class numbers as numerals (e.g. 4; 5; 45; 54; 5,445; 554,554,455 etc.) is still allowable. It is. (As you can plainly see.) Using numbers will always be permissible. There are no numbers in the vulpine-canine sentence. Only letters.

Sincerely
,

Hamilton
Executive Secretary
High Council

 

NOLLOPVILLE

Ribs, October 13

Tassie,

Violation number two this morning, this hapless Ribs the Thirteenth! I was caught in the act, very near our house—right there at the piscimonger’s booth on the pier while purchasing shrimp! (It was my plan to surprise Rory with a special gumbo supper to honor his birth-anniversary.) I witlessly put to use a grapheme which I have been—at least up to now—abstaining with relative ease:

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