Elspeth Hart and the Perilous Voyage (9 page)
Read Elspeth Hart and the Perilous Voyage Online
Authors: Sarah Forbes
Miss Crabb grabbed Elspeth and Rory by their shoulders, digging her fingers in so hard it made them wince.
“Gotcha,” she said softly.
Gladys Goulash plodded up and plonked herself behind them so Elspeth and Rory were stuck between their enemies. There was no way out.
Miss Crabb dragged them up some stairs and on to the empty windswept deck. Gladys Goulash clutched Elspeth and Rory by the hair to stop them from running away and Miss Crabb stood before them, her arms folded.
Elspeth could feel Rory quivering with fear next to her. The wind whistled around them and rain started to fall.
“Nice try, Elspeth,” said Miss Crabb. “But you’re not smart enough to outwit me. Hand over that recipe now, or I’ll dangle you over the side of the ship until you do.”
Elspeth’s mind raced. Would anyone come to their rescue? She had to give Cassie time to release Poppy and Pippy and tell the captain what was going on. If she could stall Miss Crabb for long enough, perhaps they would be saved…
“Before we talk about the recipe,” Elspeth said, trying to sound calm, “tell me where my parents are. You know, don’t you! You lured them away with a phone call saying I was abroad.”
“I don’t know where your parents are,” sneered Miss Crabb.
“Yes, you do,” interrupted Gladys Goulash.
“You told them to look for Elspeth in Australi—”
“Shut it, you gibbering goat!” Miss Crabb hissed. She gave Gladys Goulash her most evil stare, and Gladys was silent.
Australia!
Elspeth thought.
“And I know you broke into my house and stole the recipe,” Elspeth added.
“So what?” Miss Crabb said. “You won’t be telling anyone about any of this, you stupid child. I’m going to get that recipe back, and get rid of you and your pesky friend once and for all.” She started moving closer, with an evil glint in her eye.
“Keep a lookout, Gladys Goulash,” she ordered, and then she pounced.
Elspeth squealed, but before she had time to squirm away, Miss Crabb had flipped her upside down.
Suddenly Elspeth Hart was dangling over the side of the
HMS Unsinkable
, staring in terror at the sea below.
While Miss Crabb was dangling Elspeth over the side of the ship, Cassie burst into the ballroom. She’d released Poppy and Pippy, and they were now trailing after her, looking very confused. She marched straight to the front of the room and tapped the captain on the shoulder.
“I have something very important to
tell you,” Cassie said to the captain.
Captain Steel smiled kindly at Cassie. “I’m afraid I’m about to dance with Baron Van Der Blink, young lady,” she said. “Can it wait?”
The Baron gave a bow and held out his hand.
“No, you’ve got to listen, it’s important!” Cassie said, following them on to the dance floor and trying to grab the captain’s arm.
“Buzz off, you little pest,” said Baron Van Der Blink, looking down at her impatiently.
They twirled away into the crowd. Cassie looked around and decided there was only one thing for it. She shoved her way to where the band were playing and climbed up on to a chair, but the grown-ups still weren’t paying attention to her.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!” she shouted at the top of her voice.
Everyone turned to stare at her. The band stopped playing, the grown-ups stopped what they were doing, and the room fell totally silent.
Cassie’s mother broke the spell. “Cassie Lovett,” she shouted. “You get down from there right now.”
“No, Mother, I shan’t,” Cassie said. “You need to hear this. Everyone does. These poor ladies –” she pointed at Poppy and Pippy, who were waiting nervously at the edge of the dance floor – “have had a terrible ordeal. They are the hair and beauty ladies who were supposed to be working on this ship. But two criminals locked them in a storeroom! The hair and beauty ladies that you’ve all seen – they’re fakes!”
A gasp of shock rippled around the room.
“Look!” Cassie unrolled the newspaper and held it up. “The ladies you see here today were the ones booked to work on this ship. Here’s their picture in the newspaper.
But the two women who locked them up are called Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash, and they escaped from jail just a few days ago.” She flipped to the front page and held it high for everyone to see. “Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash are dangerous criminals, and you’ve GOT to stop them!”
Petunia Galoshes-Gallop leaped up in fright, knocking over a whole platter of sandwiches, and started pulling at her husband’s hand.
“Criminals on board!” she cried. “To the lifeboats! We must escape!”
This sent the rest of the passengers into a terrible panic. If you can imagine a stampede of wild animals, dear reader, then you can imagine the sight of the passengers on the
HMS Unsinkable
in hysterics.
Petunia shoved her way through the crowds, grabbing a stack of pancakes from the tea-trolley. Her husband hurried after her, hitting anyone in his way with a half-eaten kipper.
Lady Spewitt burst into tears and accidentally whacked her husband in the face with her handbag.
One couple tried to smash a porthole to get out, and several more started arming themselves with spoons and butter knives.
Some passengers began flinging fruit at one another and in under a minute the ballroom looked like the world’s poshest, messiest food fight.
Custard was dripping from the chandeliers. People were chucking around cream cakes like snowballs. It was the most dreadful mess.
“Please will you calm down and return to your seats!” the captain cried, but everyone ignored her.
Finally she yelled at the top of her voice, “YOU LOT SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP NOW!”
It worked. The wealthy passengers weren’t used to being told what to do. They all sat down at once and went very quiet.
Captain Steel looked around the room. She had been a captain for many years and there wasn’t much that scared her. She had come across pirates, killer whales, icebergs and some truly dreadful cruise-ship singers in her time. But she had never had to deal with fake hair and beauty ladies.
“Right then,” she said, straightening her cuffs. “You there.” She pointed at Cassie. “Show me that newspaper.”
“I promise you it’s the truth,” Cassie said, handing the paper to Captain Steel. “The women working in the Extremely Elegant Hair and Beauty Salon are imposters.”
Cassie’s mum bustled forward and grabbed Cassie’s hand. “I’m her mother,”
she said, “and I’ve no idea what she’s talking about. I’m afraid she does make up the silliest stories sometimes—”
“That’s enough, thank you!” Captain Steel said suddenly. She wished she was back in her cabin reading a nice book or dealing with something simple, like pirates or icebergs – not listening to some ridiculous story about kidnapping and people locked in storerooms.
“I say, hang on a minute,” said Lord Spewitt. He got up from his chair and went over, twiddling his moustache in a thoughtful way. “I recall seeing that very story in the paper just before we sailed. Couple of dastardly dinner ladies…”
“Yes,” Cassie said eagerly. “Exactly! They were in Grimguts high-security prison and they escaped the day before the ship sailed!”
“Hmm,” Lord Spewitt looked at the newspaper. “Yes, they are a nasty-looking pair. Are you quite sure they’re on the ship?”
“They are, honest!” Cassie hopped from one foot to the other impatiently. “Ask these ladies – they’re the real hair and beauty staff!” She pulled Poppy and Pippy towards the captain.
Captain Steel looked at Poppy and Pippy. “Is this true?” she asked them. “You’ve been locked up by two women who took your place on the ship?”
“Yes, it
is
true!” cried Poppy. “We were tied up and thrown in a horrid storeroom by a tall thin woman and a short round woman!”
“And they smelled absolutely vile,” said Pippy. Her eyes filled with tears.
“They practically starved us to death!” added Poppy.
Cassie glanced at Captain Steel. “See? It’s true. Please come with me right now. Let’s find them and you’ll see.”
“NO!” Rory cried as Miss Crabb dangled Elspeth over the edge of the ship. He rushed towards her, but Miss Crabb gave him a vicious kick to the shins and he hopped back in pain.
Elspeth flailed her arms, scrabbling for something to grab on to, but Miss Crabb was holding her too far out. Elspeth had
never been so frightened in her life. She was sure she could see a shark circling in the water below.
“GIVE ME MY RECIPE!” Miss Crabb hollered again.
Just as Elspeth was about to give up and tell her where the recipe was, Gladys Goulash hissed, “Oi! Someone's coming!”
In one swift movement Miss Crabb dragged Elspeth back over the railing and plonked her down on the deck.
“Gah! Get over there,” Miss Crabb said, shoving Elspeth and Rory behind a huge lifeboat.
Elspeth gasped for breath, taking in big lungfuls of air. Rory flung an arm around her and they cowered behind the lifeboat.
The door to the deck burst open and Cassie and Captain Steel rushed out, followed by Poppy and Pippy, Cassie's mum and dad, Lord and Lady Spewitt, a confused Tinkiewinks, Petunia and Albert Galoshes-Gallop, Baron Van Der Blink, Jimmy McScoff and a whole load of other passengers.
“There they are!” Cassie shouted, pointing at Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash.
Miss Crabb grabbed Gladys Goulash and tried to hide behind her. But it didn't work, because Miss Crabb was so much taller than Gladys Goulash.
“We can see you,” Captain Steel said firmly. “Come out from behind your friend.”
Elspeth and Rory slipped further back into the shadow of the lifeboat as more passengers pushed their way up on deck.
“Come out RIGHT NOW!” Captain Steel shouted.
“What? Why? I ain't done nothing!” shrieked Miss Crabb.
The captain gestured to Jimmy McScoff, who stepped forward and yanked Miss Crabb out from behind Gladys Goulash.
“Well,” said Captain Steel. “These ladies certainly look rather like the
escaped criminals on the front page of the newspaper ⦠although they do have different hair.”
There was a dreadful pause.
Elspeth peeked out from behind the lifeboat and caught Cassie's eye in the crowd. She pointed to her own hair, then pulled a piece of it upwards, hoping Cassie would get the message.
Pull off their wigs!
she thought, wishing she could send the idea right into Cassie's head.
It worked. Cassie's eyes widened as she realized what Elspeth was suggesting, and she pushed her way to the front of the crowd.
“Do you recognize them NOW?” asked Cassie. She jumped up, pulling off Miss Crabb's wig with one hand and Gladys Goulash's wig with the other.
Miss Crabb screeched and tried to bite Cassie and Gladys gave a nervous burp.
“Yes! The very same ladies from the newspaper!” Lord Spewitt cried. “Gosh, without those wigs it's quite obvious.” He took a step backwards. “The ⦠smell ⦠is also quite unpleasant. I believe that was mentioned in the article, too.”
“I'll radio to shore immediately,” said Captain Steel. “Jimmy McScoff, would you kindly keep these ladies captive in the bin store. Once all the passengers have disembarked, we can hand them over to the authorities.”
“Aye, aye, Cap'n,” said Jimmy McScoff. “I never was very happy with that hairstyle they gave me.”
Elspeth and Rory looked at each other in delight as Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash were hauled away, kicking and spitting and struggling and shouting.
When the stream of curious passengers had left the deck, Elspeth and Rory fled back to their cabin. They were safe once more â and, even better, they had the recipe.