Emanate: Insight Series ((Insight) Web of Hearts and Souls) (23 page)

“
We die instantly?”

“
I don’t think it’s the same kind of death we have faced; more so that we will not be as we are anymore. It’s not clear.”
That was an honest reply. No one knew for sure, but each had a belief that no, we would not die in that moment, but find immortality until we chose to rise to the cosmos. Basically, we would become a God and Goddess in their eyes.

I furrowed my brow as the gravity of my situation became more clear to me. One way or another, whether I was to be a Flame of Chara or a Master Escort, mortal form was in my past. That was a little eye-opening, unsettling. I suppose in some way, yes, I was dying.

“ What else?”
she asked as her eyes raced across my image.

A shuttering breath escaped my lips.
“
It’s semantics…soul mates are not two, but a family of souls. It is possible to find a soul mate and not your Flame—the one you have divided your soul with. When we rise, all Flames must rise.”

“
What does that mean?”

“
It means if Brady and Felicity, Marc and Stella, Chrispin and Olivia, our parents, any member of Chara is not with their Flame, they will leave the one they are with to find them.”

“You’
re not serious?”

“
I am.”

“
How could they?
” she nearly raged, but she was too afraid.

“
It is said they would not feel the pain of that loss; that it will be a natural instinct.”

“
It’s not natural to throw away love.”

“
They feel that it is. That if they were with only a mere soul mate, the love of a Flame would elevate them to a new high, one that would allow no grief or remorse.”

“
What about the families? The children?”

“
Let’s just say that the majority are overly confident that they have their flames in hand and do not fear that within a day’s time their families will be shredded.”

She nearly turned green. I pulled her to me and leaned her head on my shoulder as I swayed us.

“And if we don’t rise? If we do not become Flames? If we ignore it?”

“
I don’t know…I don’t know that we can ignore it. The marks are here.”

“
But you are not at ease with this.”

“
No…I’m not at ease with it because I know without a doubt that we are the originals, we are home again, we are the foundation of this dimension. But if we don’t rise, if we are both in a dark place and cannot face that hell…the belief system in Chara will crumble. Even if we find a spell or a way to kill Donalt in some other form, Chara will never be the same.”

“
A dark place… “
she nearly whispered in her thoughts.

I reached to cradle her face.
“
Lore states we will be as one. My deeds, all the hell I walked, the times…the times I let myself forget us in your absence…you’ll see that, feel it…I will see yours. Our past, our guilt, our regret will be shared. The last few months have only given us glimpses. I don’t ever want you to see the dark corners of my soul, and I know you don’t want me to see yours either. Us holding back, wanting to protect the other, us standing in our judgment—that could stop this ascension.”
My eyes rushed across hers. “
This is not something we can decide, tell ourselves to get over, to push through. The Radiance brings the subconscious forward, if we do not truly want to share this hell, if our fear holds us back, then…it will not happen.”

I glanced at the wall of energy behind her.
“
The entire world has believed that they will be invaded one day by Esterious, but the Flames will be there to stop it. Their belief is amplifying this, and it’s powerful enough to push this forward, even though we are not ready.”

Before I could go on, she spoke.
“The spell. Justus told me about it. If Donalt breaches this world, he will be able to breach them all. He will win. He was the first to almost be taken down, and he will win.”

I stared at her with absolute wonder. I suppose Justus had been schooling her on the curse before us. I assumed he would have spent more energy on the ceremony, gently swaying her to rise, but it seems he was thinking beyond that one moment. That was a good sign, I suppose. One that fortified the idea that we were indeed one of the seven souls that would rise. For the life of me, though, right now I couldn’t think past that ceremony.

“It’s not as simple as standing up and declaring our love, Willow,”
I thought with a clear rasp in my tone.

“
What do you mean?”

“
I told you, we have to feel it deep inside, let go. If lore is correct, this ceremony is painful. Our bodies will diminish, our souls will rise and collide, then we will form into corporeal images our people can see.”

She looked all around us before she thought her next words.
“
No one in this family doubts who we are, that they are standing with their Flame?”

“
The mark trumps all. They never doubted who we were or that this ceremony would come to pass, but they thought we had time. Years, at least. The mark changed that. Now they feel what will be will be. What they don’t get is how aware we are of our past lives. If we weren’t, it may have been shocking to see those moments during the ceremony, but we would be firmly in this reality, not caring. But because we have seen or been told of our past, we’ve had time to build emotions and thoughts around those points. In a way, we have been poisoned, a slow poison that Donalt has given us over many lifetimes.”

Her eyes met mine.
“
Maybe all he’s done is prove to us where we belong.”

I smiled vaguely, sensing her point, her telling me that her past with Drake told her without a doubt she was mine, what was between them was lacking what we have. When I thought of Skylynn, the nights with her, I always remembered what was missing. I mean, in a way what Skylynn and I had was powerful, but at the same time it cou
ld not touch what was between Willow and me.

I stole a kiss from her lips, just to prove to myself she was right here, just to taste her flesh, a taste that I found myself craving near constantly. I pulled away from that kiss, looking into her eyes, seeing the power of her, not doubting for a second that she was born to rule, a born queen.

“Seven,”
she said, looking deeper into my eyes as her soul filled with guilt.

I swallowed harshly
,
wondering how she managed to pick up on my thoughts so easily.
I wasn’t seeing her as a queen of Chara in my mind just then; I was seeing her as a Goddess, one that would stop the hell of fear in souls across every dimension.

“
Right.”

“
That doesn’t anger you? That I will become what you have fought against?”

I furrowed my brow in disbelief.
“
I fought fear, Willow, those who brought it forth.
My eyes searched hers. “
Nothing, no past, present, future, or title could ever stop the way I feel about you, and if you doubt that, then I really have failed you.”

She
slowly moved her head side-to-side. “
You could never fail me
.” Her eyes welled with tears. “
The flashbacks are harsh, Landen. I’m taking it all in. The worst were not my death or any time I’d faced Donalt, but when I thought you’d died. When I saw your body in that Realm.”

I caressed her back, wanting to take away the harsh emotions that were absorbing her.

“I can’t place the memory, or understand it, but something saved you.”

“
The power of the Phoenix,”
I offered, knowing that Charlie had seen that power soar into me.

She shook her head.
“
Mint.”

Every part of my body tensed. That scent was unmistakable. The King of Anger: Vade.

“Mint,”
I repeated, trying not to look taken back by it, but she clearly felt my body’s response.

“
Regal. Power. Grace. I felt that. It saved you. I don’t know what we are a part of, if we are even worthy to be that, but I know there is something past this. There is something we are supposed to do. Something we were designed to do.”

“
Rule fear.”

Her hand reached to caress my visage.
“
I’m not raising my hand to sign up for any of this, but I know that I want to protect the king that saved you. That I am in his debt. And I know taking down Donalt is what I need to do in order to make that happen. He gave me you. He gave Drake back. He is a great man—Sovereign—God—whatever. I just know he is just. We are going to make it through this ceremony. We will find a way to be pure, to face this judgment, because fate states as much.”

My insights told me that she didn’t completely believe that last part, but stating it was the first step in claiming it.

For the first time in history, it began to rain in Radiance. It was a slow rain. Soft and gentle. Almost mocking compassionate tears.

My eyes grew wide.
“
Are your insights  back?”

She furrowed her brow to question why I would ask that. She couldn’t have known that some unknown power agreed with her just now. The scent of warm honey filled the air, the scent that once belonged to Willow before she lost her emotion of anger. I was dumbfounded. Confused as hell. I didn’t let her see that, though, as I pulled her to my lips, going deep fast. My arms squeezed around her as I pulled us from the rain and soared our bodies to shelter. I had to hold her now.

Chapter
Fifteen

~ Willow ~

The energy in this place, the same force that had tortured me almost every moment Landen was gone today, was now showing its kinder side.

Every seductive move of Landen’s lips against my skin took me to a high that I could barely fathom. Warm shivers spread across my body as I felt him explore my flesh as if he’d never touched it before. It took me a second to even figure out that he had moved our bodies to this massive bed that was within the most extravagant treehouse I had ever laid eyes on.

I could feel the vibration of his lips across my skin as I bowed my back and silently begged him to never stop. During this passionate surrender, my mind kept trying to terrify me, as it had all afternoon. One second I’d stopped to think that I was literally a thousand feet in the air, and the next I couldn’t breathe through the thoughtless breaths that I was gasping when his magical hands found a way to bring me a new, sweet torment.

His skin. My flesh against his, in this rhythmic movement of passion—that was the sensation that was healing me.

I finally found a way to convince him to let me bring him the same sensations he was showering me with. My lips met his neck, his shoulder, daring to let my teeth scrape across the flesh there. When I moved to his chest, when I kissed that mark that stated our connection for all the world to see, he bowed his back and let out a moan that vibrated his body and brought a sinful smile to my lips
—and of course the courage to bring him more blissful agony.

I felt his fingers feather through my hair. I was driving him wild, and I loved every minute of it.

He took control of this moment and moved me to my back, slowly holding my stare as he let his bare chest meet mine. Our marks were touching and pulsing just as wildly as other parts of our bodies.

I could have sworn there were sparks in the air, that the energy was popping all around us—that I felt our marks pulsing as one.

I felt my skin throb with heated relief as he melded our bodies together. Each time his chest would rise away from mine, I would pull it back, needing to feel that part of his body against mine. Somewhere in that embrace, we found a new way to hold each other. He rolled to his back, gracefully pulling me with him, and then sat up; now everything that we were burning to have connected was, including our stares, which were searching past the surface. I was gazing at the soul of the man I loved as his body worshiped mine.

This was heaven.

“I feel your soul,”
he thought as a heated breath showered over me.

“Closer,”
I almost begged.

I’d loved Landen skin-to-skin before. I had loved him soul-to-soul, but nothing we had shared before came close to the way he was holding me now. Every inch of my skin was like a live wire, and his passion was raining down on me, through me. My body, along with the air in the room, responded with a mind-bending hum that left me wanting more. Needing more.

I felt him in my core, begging me to surface, begging for me to be healed.

He was reaching for my soul. He was tender, yet urgent with that silent request. I felt myself fighting to let go of my dark emotions, thoughts, and memories and brace the light he was, but each time I came close, I would sense a darkness breaching his soul. The moment was too full of passion for me to rationalize if that was his past or me infecting him with the hell that I am. I held back to protect him, to not let my energy stain the bright essence he was.

He never gave up. Each movement of his body against mine, his hands moving in a hypnotic rhythm across my skin, soothed the agony of my soul but never quite gave me the courage to surrender my ego and let my soul rise unshielded.

Side by side, hours later, we lay gasping. He’d pulled me across his chest, allowing those marks to touch tenderly. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand caress my back. I tried to hold on to the lessons he taught me out on that pier, the ones that stated that in your darkest hour you could clear your thoughts and grasp the light. That in your brightest
moment you could foolishly let darkness snake its way into your soul.

Even now, deep inside I could feel my wrathful ego clawing aimlessly at the prison she’d been sucked into. I envisioned myself letting her out, finding the sweet taste of rage and comfort behind that emotion. The emotion that let me disconnect from reality and only see this war from a distance. But I knew that part of me, that angry ego of mine, was the reason I was the way I was today. She was the reason Chara could crumble. That Donalt would win this war. That I could lose the one and only soul that I truly lived for.

The only way I could reason I’d be able to let my soul rise was to continue to face the flashbacks—live them all as they should have been. Forgive myself for my past and find a way to grasp the light and leave the darkness behind.

Moments before Landen had returned, I started to get flashbacks from a past life. The thought of living through each fearful moment of my existence with anger as a vacant barrier made my soul tremble. There wasn’t enough time for that; I was sure of it.

Everything connected. I knew it did. The seven that were to fall and the seven that were to rise. This spell of eight beyond the sun and moon. It all connected—only Donalt was holding the rulebook. He knew all the plays.

And now this ascension was before us.

“Where did you go?” I whispered into the night.

His hand hesitated on my back, trying to figure out if I meant in his thoughts or earlier today. I was eager to know the answer to both. He was still holding back. I could feel it.

“To meet Drake.”

“
What happened with Marc, though?”

“
You know, I’m not really sure. He went for a swim with Madison, I suppose.”

I glanced up at him to see an odd smirk lingering on his lips. I pulled my hands up to balance my chin on his chest so I could stare into him.

“Something is going on in Esterious, isn’t it? You don’t want to tell me because you need me to focus here.”

“
I would never channel your energy. Honestly, I’m really not clear on what is happening over there.”

“
Explosions,”
I said, knowing that I heard Alamos and someone else talk about that in that cavern. In the back of my mind, through this hell, I was fighting with the idea that Drake was in danger. That the one father figure he still had was about to betray him. But each time I thought of him or that dimension, a searing pain ripped through me. The fear amplified to the point where I would have to be madly insane to even fathom going to Esterious.

“
Not at the palace. Cities around it. I assume they are trying to discredit him or Madison, one.”

“
What is he going to do about it?”

“
Nothing that I know of.”

“
You were gone for hours, and the two of you decided on nothing?”
I said with a raised brow, which made him smile, revealing those dimples I adored.

“
Phoenix and Draven were there, too. Seems the explosions are to happen right when they are set to face their conflict.”

“
And our ceremony,”
I offered, seeing how easily Donalt could have set that up.

He nodded once.
“
Drake is going to stop time when the first one happens, give them time to do what they have to do.”

“
He’s not at risk? Madison isn’t?”

He furrowed his brow, clearly thinking that aspect over.
“Marc and Chrispin have to be with us. So will the rest of the Chara soldiers we placed there. But he didn’t seem to be bothered by that.”

Drake never seemed to be bothered by anything
. “You read him? With your insights?”

I felt his body tense under mine. It was almost as if my question were too direct.

“I did,”
he finally said. “
It’s going to be a war of time. They are trying to pull us to one place. We are not going to let them. Fighting our own wars.”

“
The four of you?”

He just stared at me. He was trying to read me. I could tell because his hands were on my skin the way they always were when he was trying to see my perspective. I didn’t know anything. I was assuming. I’d already thought that Charlie was a part of this seven, meaning Draven was. Adding in Phoenix, someone who was at Landen’s side from the beginning, was not a far-fetched idea.

“Seems so.”

“
You see everything?”
I asked, glancing to his hand. I wanted him to see what I knew, what I had understood, because for the life of me, I could not understand how I was in two places at once. Landen said this world thought our souls had divided in the cosmos, that we descended into this existence, but he was told and remembers being born in the other reality. He remembers being sent to this side, finding me in the life of Aliyanna. What also didn’t make sense was that Justus claimed I met him in the cosmos. That I claimed him there before I ever descended.

Now tell me how in the hell me and Landen were in two places at once?

“I see why you are confused,”
he offered.

“
You want to clear any of that up for me?”

“
I don’t have the answers.”
His hand reached to caress my hair, his thumb tracing my eye. “
I know that on the other side, when you are pushed through The Fall you can live lifetimes, infant to adult, on this side, and when you return through that Fall, only days have passed and you are in the same form you left in. I can see how I was born there, came here and found you. I can understand why was I so upset when I did die and my soul went home. I’d lived lifetimes with you, and at that moment it felt like a dream. I didn’t settle until you made it through The Fall. Until you were in my arms.
” He paused.
I still do not understand how you even managed to do that.”
His eyes filled with wonder and mystery, as they often did when he was trying to grasp the magnitude of fate and coincidence. “
I thought that was the end. You were safe in the light. I should have never left your side.”

“
Why did you?”
I asked, trying to remember if I had ever clearly understood this back story.

“
We left to defend The Fall. The people on that side wanted to close it, not let any souls pass through. When I came back, you were gone. So was Phoenix’s girl. The entire damn house was.”

“
That was when you came face-to-face with that shaman. When you became a Phoenix.”

He nodded.
“
Everything else…I just see the highlights and points I don’t care to remember.”

“
How many lives do you think you lived over here in those few days you left your home?”

“
I don’t know. Somewhere in the mix between now and then, we had lives together and I was in human form. We even had a life of illumination. Then my life as a Phoenix came. One second, I want to remember each step so I can understand this, the next, I don’t.”

I’m sure that some of that hesitation to look back had to do with Skylynn, a topic we had not really had a chance to get over.

“What…what will happen if for some reason we don’t…we don’t become Flames? What if I’m…what if I’m not through with my war of ego and soul?”

“
Chara has never once predicted failure. The darkest day we even fathomed to consider was the one where one end came and another began, the point when all Flames will rise…but honestly, in a way, that idea only embedded how sacred the bond of love was. Taught us, out of fear, to be damn sure we had found the other half of our soul.”

“
Chara didn’t know the path we would take to get here. The web of spells, lies, and betrayal. They would have, we would have, never imagined how divided you and I would be at times.”

“
No, but we would have never imagined that we would not have been one in the end.”

“
The end you are not ready for.”

He tensed beneath me.
“
I just want to give you one life of peace.”

I understood what he was grieving for. Lost time. Wasted time. Time spent ravished in war.

“I sketched.”
He nodded once, and I could have sworn I saw his blue eyes sparkle for an instant. “
Everything. Every chapter of the last few months. And you know what?”

He raised his brow to question me.

“When I flipped through the book, I saw a balance. I didn’t see moments that only added up to a day or so of peace. I saw moments that added up to several days.”

He tilted his head slightly, staring at me with absolute devotion.

“If you were to flip through all of our lives, I have no doubt that you would find more than one lifetime of bliss. You would find that the debt fits the gift.”
I felt my eyes flood. “
One moment in your arms is worth an eternity of damnation. We might be getting off easy, Mr. Chambers.”