Ember (38 page)

He smirked, it was more disbelieving than
humored. “What did you expect? It's your first day.”

I sighed. The words gave me some slight
relief, but the concept was easier said the done.

I was being taught by two of the most
advanced people in the order . . . Just a half a week ago they had
disappeared for three days, they had important responsibilities.
How long could I expect them to spend teaching me?

“How about we take a break?” suggested
Ikovos. “We could all go to the pool and swim, or maybe just take a
walk?”

I thought about it. The idea of swimming on a
day like today was appealing, but . . . I looked at the fire on the
table, then at the hand that I’d been attempting to conjure magic
with. I didn't want to waste time, something in me
had
to
learn this.

My eyes narrowed and I looked up at Ikovos.
“No. I want to keep going till I get this.” My voice was more
commanding than usual. Ikovos definitely caught it. Jaden just had
a slight smirk.

My straight brow dropped. “I . . . I mean, if
it's okay for you guys.”

Jaden shrugged his shoulders. “I've got
time.” I assumed he meant his grounding.

Ikovos sighed. “As long as you promise that
when you do your first spell, we'll go to the pool to
celebrate.”

I smiled and nodded, then turned my eyes to
Jaden determinedly.

If I
wasn’t
ever able to use magic . .
. I’d make sure that it was due in no part to trying.

~ ~ ~

FOR THE NEXT three days I did little besides
train. Every day I went to the cafeteria less and less to eat. I
rarely saw anyone besides Ikovos and Jaden. Thoran and Cornelius
were almost never around. It had been like this since the last
Meoden meeting. Even Sophie left for the towns more than once.

I did weapons training with Holdan about an
hour each night . . . neither Jaden nor Ikovos liked this very
much, so I usually went when they weren't around. Both boys had
been so wonderful with helping me throughout.

Luckily, concentrating on my studies,
combined with intense willpower, had helped me get my mind off of
any fanciful imaginations. Every day I felt more comfortable around
the boys. It helped that they chose to spend a lot of their time
with me, despite the fact that at this point with the magic
training it wasn't so much them showing, as me practicing.

Ikovos had to leave the lodge every so often
for different duties, but Jaden never did due to his grounding.
Another piece of his punishment, I discovered, was intensified
studies. He also had to teach a class of younger boys, history.
Because of this, we ended up moving from Cornelius’s small study to
the much larger library which was accessible to all of the members
of the order.

It was a wonderful place, two stories. The
second level rapped along the wall of almost the entire room with
staircases leading up to it in multiple spots throughout the room.
There were bookcases all over, covering every wall. And books, so
many books. In the middle of the room was a large sitting area with
couches scattered here and there, but mostly tables, long rows of
them, benched and at least four lit candles on each.

My favorite spot had become a small, doughy
couch in front of a fireplace on the farthest wall. Lots of times I
would sit and read or practice there while Ikovos studied. He
usually sat on the floor by the shelves. Jaden would always take
the other sofa cornered to mine.

This afternoon, neither boy was around.
Ikovos was out scouting, and Jaden was who knows where.

Quite a few people scattered the library now.
Their quiet murmuring was comforting as I read through a spell
process book.

I almost screamed when a small body jumped
onto the sofa beside me.

“Hey, Evelyn!” shouted Nathan.

I looked at him, smiling. Though he surprised
me every time, I was getting quite used to him doing that. “Hey,
Nate,” I replied. “How are your studies going today?”

He beamed. “Good . . . as usual.”

I pursed my lips. “They really should let you
advance to the next class.”

He looked around wistfully. “Yeah. . . . I
guess it's because I'm not showing any signs of artisan potential
yet.” The adorable, chocolate-eyed, face turned glum. My own fell,
but then I looked back over with a cheering grin.

“Well, if it helps, I'm not making much
progress either.”

Nathan shrugged it off. “Sure, but you just
started . . . and you're a girl.”

My eyes blinked slowly for a second, but I
was thoroughly used to the sexist statements by now.

“Plus . . . ,” he started, “Master Jaden says
you'll be able to, and he knows everything.”

My lips drew at the last bit. The older,
wiser, side of me argued that it wasn't really the truth . . . but
the young, wistful, part that I'd kept under wraps for days agreed
completely with a disheartened frown.

He does know everything.

I shook this out quickly, thinking back to
Nathan. “Nate, I'm sure Jaden would say you have as good a chance
as me to become an artisan, more even.”

“You really think so?” he asked
uncertainly.

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

He pursed his lips, smirking slightly, though
I'm not sure I'd completely convinced him. . . .

*

“Would you like to work on it together for a
while?” I asked.

He brightened excitedly. “Yeah!”

I laughed. His exuberance was infectious.

In the next hour my confident
“take-care-of-Nathan” attitude turned into confused inferiority.
I'd read
so
many books on this over the past few days, but
even young Nathan knew so much more than me. By the time Ikovos
came, informing Nate that he was going to be late for his artisan
class, my brain was shot.

“Bye, Evelyn. Thanks for studying with
me!”

I waved dizzily. “For sure. Bye.”

Ikovos fell into the couch beside me,
propping his legs up on the table ahead. “You let him study with
you?”

I smiled at him. “I think it was more the
other way around. How does everyone always know so much more than
me?”

Ikovos chuckled. “Evelyn . . . you have to
remember, we grew up in this world, hearing about it, learning
about it. You can't expect to get caught up in a few days.” He
turned his head sideways to face me, a book open in his hands.

His blonde hair was especially wild today. I
had the sudden urge to reach my hand up and smooth it, but
refrained, looking back down at my book.

“I suppose you're right. . . . Sometimes I
forget I had a life before this place.”

He nodded, eyes narrowing at the fire. “I
know what you mean.”

My attention perked. I swung my head to him.
“Do you?”

His tongue went into his cheek and he grazed
my eyes knowingly before lifting his book up and turning to it.
“
Yup
.”

With a sigh I turned back to my own studies.
I had long since made it clear that I wanted to know about his . .
. and Jaden's, good god,
any
of the boys', pasts . . . but
no one was forthcoming. Ikovos and Jaden were downright
evasive.

After studying quietly for another good hour
— well,
somewhat
quietly . . . with Ikovos there, we would
much too often distract each other with what the other person was
reading — Jaden joined us. As usual he didn't sit on the same
couch, lounging instead on the sofa beside.

He fell over with a sigh.

“Tough lesson?” asked Ikovos.

Jaden put a hand over his face then up into
his hair. He could make this a bit easier sometimes . . . “I don't
know why we're working so hard to get rid of the Meoden. I'd rather
fight with them any day than deal with a bunch of twelve year
olds.”

My face fell.

“Come on, it's not that bad,” said Ikovos,
obviously humored by Jaden's exasperation.

The darker boy's eyes grazed mine. My
expression must have been overly revealing, because he offered up
an apologetic smirk. “I'm kidding.”

I kept my mouth shut, sorry that he noticed
anything. Though I did consider mentioning Nathan while we were on
the subject . . . maybe asking him to be a little more encouraging
towards the young boy.

Ikovos stopped me with a sigh and tossing of
a book. “Not there either.” His expression was glum.

“What isn't?” I asked.

He picked up another tome. “My name.”

My face perplexed as he scanned the pages.
Jaden took my attention.

“You know how he likes to look up name
meanings?”

I nodded.

“Well, he's never been able to find his
own.”

Ikovos continued skimming. “I got a few books
from Adzamaruha's shop that I thought would have it, but . . .” he
tossed the one in his hand “. . . no luck.”

My eyebrows knit. “I suppose it is an unusual
name.”

Jaden smirked. Ikovos didn't say
anything.

I smiled warmly. “You're just too original to
be limited to an exact meaning.”

Now Ikovos was the one with a smirk. Jaden's
had disappeared. At this point he was leaning back across the
couch, arm covering his eyes. I turned to Ikovos.

“What does Jaden's name mean?” It was almost
a whisper.

Ikovos grinned immediately. “You won't
believe me.”

“This one is so boring,” muttered Jaden.

“You just don't like how predictably right it
is.’

Jaden lifted his arm up to eye him
incredulously.

They still hadn't told me.

Ikovos smirked at Jaden's face then looked to
me. “It means fiery.”

I couldn't help but smile. “Really?”

He nodded.

Jaden sighed. “See? Boring.”

I thought about this. Sure, there was the
obvious ‘he can use fire’ thing, but . . . “There’s a lot of things
it could mean,” I noted. Then I turned back to my studying. I knew
better than to let my mind wander down this subject.

“Did you have something particular in mind?”
asked Jaden. He was leaning forward now, though still casual.

I let my eyes graze his.
Yeah,
dangerous.
I quelled this. “Well . . . fiery, like, impassioned
or spirited.

Ikovos pursed his lips in consideration
beside me. I couldn't tell what Jaden thought.

“Sounds a bit like yours,” said Ikovos.

I stiffened. This was much more fun when it
was someone else's name. Mine made me feel much too vulnerable . .
. especially after the conversation last time.

“You already looked hers up?” questioned
Jaden.

Ikovos nodded. “It means
'like a
bird'
.” He smirked while saying it. “Good one, right?”

Jaden laughed slightly. “Oh yeah, she's
totally a bird.”

My eyes narrowed at him. What, were him and
Ikovos on the same psycho wave-link or something? Before I could
voice my protest, Ikovos threw another book down and stood up.

“Okay, well, I have to go watch the gate
tonight.” I perked up. “And no, I'm not letting you come with me
this time.”

I pouted my lip considerably.

“But I'll see you guys in the morning when I
get back.”

“Will you have to sleep all day again?” I
asked.

He shook his head. “No. I'm going with Holdan
so me and him will take shifts.” I winced and Ikovos nodded to
Jaden. “Thanks for that by the way.”

Jaden raised a hand. “No problem.”

I turned back to Ikovos.

“Good luck on your studying, don't stay up
too late.”

I nodded. “I won't.”

His mouth tipped then he walked off through
the library.

When I looked back, Jaden's eyes were on me.
“You miss him a lot when he's not around, don't you?”

It wasn't really a question. My throat
constricted instantly. I tried to think of something diffusing to
say . . . but none of them were true.

I lowered my eyes from his slowly. He must
have gotten the message, because he picked up a book and went back
to reading.

After a few quiet minutes I heard one of the
boys shout behind me. At this time of night the small library was
buzzing with people, though they seldom came by my spot near the
fire. I peeked up at Jaden cautiously. He was writing out something
from a book, probably for a lesson.

I looked back down, then took a deep breath.
Come on, Evelyn, you're brave.

“Um, Jaden?”

His eyes lifted to mine.

I chewed my lip. “I was wondering, well . . .
Nathan has been a bit down about his magic abilities lately . .
.”

Jaden made no reaction. I continued

“I know he thinks a lot of your opinion and I
was hoping, I mean I wanted to ask you . . . if you would encourage
him a little.”

Still no change.

“You know, just sometime . . . when you get
the chance.”

A bit of a smirk slid up then, along with a
single eyebrow. “Sure.”

My breath exhaled.

“You know, you don't have to be so nervous to
ask me for something,” he added assumingly.

I felt my face flush. Was I really that much
of an open book to him? . . .
It must make it awfully dull to be
around me. . . .

I smiled, mostly because I couldn't help it,
being uncomfortable. “Okay.”

He went back to his writing casually.

I rolled my eyes and did the same.

*

Alright. Concentrate, Evelyn. Think about
what's going on inside of you, focus on your hand, imagine
conjuring the fire.
My jaw tightened,
all
my muscles
were tensed . . .

Nothing.

I sighed dejectedly. Since Ikovos had left,
I'd been working on the same simple fire-spell. Thus far I hadn't
even managed so much as a spark. I had no clue what time it was now
. . .
late.
The sun had gone down forever ago, and the study
was completely abandoned of boys. Dark, quiet, calm . . . the
opposite of how I felt.