Embrace the Night (7 page)

“I know this is hard for you.”

She slammed the faucet off, wiping her hands on the towel still wrapped around her, then whirled toward him. “What do you mean, this must be hard?”

But his gray eyes were filled with so much compassion that she took a step back, bumping into the sink. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Hannah.”

“And stop speaking my name with such remorse. I donated happily. You’re my friend. Why wouldn’t I have done so?”

“This isn’t about your having fed me. And your body isn’t flushed because you opened a vein. Don’t you see?”

She stared at him, but kept shaking her head.

“Hannah.”

“No.” She held up both hands as though to ward him off.

Suddenly, the whirling in her brain stopped so that she finally had to stare at an enormous central monolith that had two words chiseled on it, all in caps:
BLOOD ROSE
.

“No,” she cried out.

She knew what it meant. She’d heard the women talk about how much their lives had changed and that was the last thing she wanted.

Jude caught her in his arms and held her.

“I don’t want this, Jude. I’m not that person. I love you as one of my dearest friends, but I’m human. I’m human.” She clung to his massive shoulders and started sobbing. It was all too much, her lust and longing for him, her respect for him, the sex that had just rocked her world. “I don’t understand how I could be a blood rose.”

“Abigail was human.”

Hannah drew back and stared up at Jude, though she still held tightly to him like an anchor in heavy seas. “And now she’s a vampire. Is that what I’ll become?”

“Not necessarily, at least, I don’t think so. Sweet Goddess, I don’t know. But I do think you’re becoming realm.”

She held out her hands and glanced from one palm to the other. “What is this, Jude? Why do my hands tingle? Why does my body grow so warm and flushed?” She drew in a long, slow breath.

Then she remembered when Jude had begun his vibration between her legs that she’d felt all this warmth and she now knew that heat had come from her. Oh, God.

But one more horrible thought intruded. “Did I really kill that vampire?”

Jude nodded slowly.

The thought that she had taken a life, even one that needed to be brought down, caused her to tremble.

Jude pulled her close once more. “I’m so sorry, Hannah.”

She let him comfort her for a moment, then pulled out of his arms. “You don’t understand. This bar is my life. I ended my last long-term relationship because my ex wanted me to give up the Gold Rush, to sell it, just to be with him.”

“I know. I remember.”

She planted a hand against her chest. “The Gold Rush is who I am.”

“I know. By all the elf-lords, I do know who you are. But we’re in trouble here, Hannah. Please tell me you understand. I didn’t ask for this and I definitely would never have wished this on you in a million years, but we’re here and we’re in trouble.” He then reminded her of what each of the bonded women would have already told her, that she would be pursued heavily by other mastyr vampires.

She put a hand to her forehead. “Oh, God. This can’t be happening. And I’m so unfit for anything like that. I thought I was performing a good-enough service here, giving you men a place to chill and even to sleep over, not to mention running the communications center. So why wasn’t that enough that somehow the powers of your world have descended on me? I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t know, either, but I do know someone who can help, who can give us some answers.”

Hannah began to relax. “Vojalie.”

Jude nodded. “Tell you what. Let me contact her and see if we can meet up tonight.” He glanced around. “How about at your house at full-dark?”

She couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “Sounds like a plan.”

She watched Jude move back into the bunkroom, pull out his locker and slip into a pair of boxers. He then sat down on the side of the bed and turned inward, eyes closed. From the energy she felt radiating from him, she knew he’d connected with either Vojalie or her husband, Davido. Most realm-folk didn’t have that kind of power to hold a telepathic conversation realm-to-realm. Jude did, as did all the other mastyrs of the Nine Realms, which was one reason power-levels defined the mastyr-status. The most powerful mastyr in each realm ruled. Simple.

When Jude finally relaxed and looked up at her, she knew the call had ended.

“What’s the word?” she asked.

“Both Vojalie and Davido will join us at your house at full-dark. Sound good?”

Hannah finally breathed a sigh of relief. “Like the best possible news.”

He stood up and took her gently by the shoulders. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

Hannah wasn’t quite as hopeful as Jude appeared to be, but she nodded. “I really need my bed. How about you?”

“Yep.” He kissed her once, a brief warm kiss, after which she put her clothes back on and left the bunkroom. Jude needed his sleep as much as she did.

She returned to the communication center and made arrangements to have one of her workers, Greg, take over until Sandy arrived from her dental appointment.

When Greg had settled in, Hannah walked up the hill to her home, a climb that she usually enjoyed but which felt about a mile long given all that she’d been through.

By the time she fell into bed, sleep roared toward her and she embraced it with open arms.

~ ~ ~

Later that evening, after Hannah had shared wine with her guests, she invited Vojalie to join her on the roof deck that overlooked the Sound. In older days, this would have been called ‘the widow’s walk’. When the sun shined, Hannah often came here to lay out and try to pink up her very white, Pacific Northwest skin, usually without much success.

Vojalie had already admired the view and thanked her for the lovely Cabernet Sauvignon. She then asked Hannah to give her a brief history of the current situation with Jude and what appeared to be a strange realm gift that had come to her so unexpectedly.

Hannah quietly outlined the details, including how and when her interest in Jude had suddenly exploded. Vojalie even smiled at the supply closet scenario.

She explained as best she could about how she seemed to have some kind of power that had released as a wave of heat and killed a vampire.

Vojalie lifted her brows this time.

After Hannah was done, Vojalie remained looking out to sea for a long time, her forearms on the railing. Peace radiated from the beautiful fae woman who was probably the most powerful of her kind in the Nine Realms.

She wasn’t quite as tall as Hannah and had very fae features with a thin nose and a strong pointed chin. She wore a lavender headband holding back her long, dark brown hair. Her equally dark eyes glimmered with a mountain of compassion. Though she’d never seen it before, she knew that Vojalie’s eyes would turn silver when she enthralled someone, usually while seeking information.

She was definitely the woman to ask for help and counsel.

After a time, Vojalie turned toward her. “First, you have what is known as a fire-gift and it’s extremely rare. I haven’t seen it in centuries, in fact, but you have all the hallmarks. I would imagine you find cold water soothing.”

“Very. But what does this mean?”

Vojalie shrugged. “It’s no doubt connected to your being a blood rose, but I have a feeling its purpose is specific and will be made known to you within the next few days or weeks even. Although the fact that you saved Jude’s life is a hint all on its own.”

“So I’m a fiery blood rose.”

Vojalie smiled. “You could say that.” But her expression soon became serious as she continued, “All nine of the ruling mastyrs have carried an enormous load for centuries. And I’ve been hoping for a long time that something very realm would one day arrive to relieve their suffering. I just never thought it would be the blood rose phenomenon. It has occurred before in our history, but in such distant times that I actually had to look it up in the ancient documents. But these men … they’re so deserving.”

Hannah sighed. “Jude especially. He’s done so much for his realm, which is one reason I’m as upset as I am. Jude should have a blood rose in his life, just not me. And you know I love realm-folk. I’ve essentially grown up around them, and I’ve known Jude since I was a child.”

Hannah rubbed what she knew to be a frown between her brows. “What I’m trying to say, is that the way I feel has little to do with Jude and more to do with how much I’d be giving up.”

“You feel you’d have to give up the Gold Rush.”

“And my home, my friends, my entire way of life. I’m not ignorant of just how much each of the lives of the current bonded blood roses has changed.”

Vojalie cocked her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I’m wondering though, if there isn’t something more going on here. Is it possible your feelings are cloaked with events from the past? Bad experiences?”

Hannah could see that Vojalie’s eyes had turned silver, a sure sign of enthrallment, but it didn’t bother Hannah at all. Instead, she found herself telling Vojalie all about her ex, Mark Jackson, and his control issue. “And I know Jude likes things the way he likes them.”

“Well that he does, as most men do. But it also sounds to me like your ex had a much deeper issue than Jude could possibly have. I believe, and you make take it for what it’s worth, that your Mr. Jackson will one day become an abuser, if not physically then emotionally. I imagine while you were together, he helped you to feel very small about the choices you made for your life.”

Vojalie had said it exactly right. “As though his were important and mine weren’t.”

“You were wiser than you knew when you parted company with him.”

To a degree, Hannah already knew that Vojalie was right. But hearing her suspicions supported out loud helped a lot.

Vojalie asked, “So, how does Jude feel about what’s happened?”

“Actually, I’m not sure which of us is more distressed.”

Vojalie frowned slightly. “I believe he must be thinking about his wife and daughter. You know about them, right? The lovely Naomi and their daughter, Joy?”

Hannah nodded.

Vojalie’s silver eyes appeared haunted as she looked into the past. “We were all devastated when we heard the news. Did you know they’d been killed in the small, peach orchard on Jude’s property? On Castle Island?”

“Yes, but that’s all I really know and I never probed for details.”

“No, of course not.” Vojalie gave herself a shake. “Now, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but there are a few things I must know. You’ve made love with Jude, right?”

Maybe it was the enthrallment, but Hannah didn’t feel embarrassed, not even a little, as she nodded. The memories came sliding back quickly about what they’d done in the bunkroom. Her cheeks grew warm because she only had to think about Jude and her whole body heated up.

Vojalie laughed, a bright sound like bells chiming. “You don’t need to say anything more. I can feel your experience. It glows from your entire being.”

She didn’t know about ‘glow’, but she definitely felt all fired up again.

“Hannah, this probably won’t help at all, but you are the woman I would wish for Jude, warm and loving, very unselfish. But my opinions aside, what do you need from me?”

Hannah spoke from her heart. “Can this thing be undone? Do I have to be a blood rose?”

“I’m afraid that die is cast. Your issue now will be all about the mastyr with whom you bond.”

Hannah sorted this through in her mind. “But if I don’t bond with Jude or anyone else, I can keep my life as it is.”

“Theoretically, but as you must already know, the blood rose drive is very powerful.”

“Tell me about it.”

Vojalie chuckled softly. “But let me ask you, when you’ve reflected on your life, and to me you seem like the kind of woman who would do that often, did anything in particular surface repeatedly as a desired hope or dream?”

Hannah thought back to the journaling she’d done over the years, even a few of the altered books she’d made pasting in all kinds of things into several old books. “I guess if there had to be a recurring theme it would be a desire to make a difference.”

“And would being a blood rose make the kind of difference you envision?”

“In Jude’s world, maybe. But I meant Port Townsend, my world, the human world. Not Kellcasse.”

“But
your
world, the one you live in and delight in is at least half-realm. Just because the borders haven’t changed, that doesn’t mean Jude, his Guardsmen and many other realm-folk crossing the access point to Port Townsend haven’t already altered the dynamic in
your
world.”

“I suppose you could look at it that way. I just don’t want this. The worst part is I’m told that other mastyrs will come after me if I don’t bond with Jude, and I know that they’re not all as wonderful as he is.”

“My dear, can you hear what you just said?”

“You mean the ‘wonderful’ part.”

“Yes, that bit.”

“But why wouldn’t I feel that way about Jude? I’ve known him all my life, and I trust and respect him. He’s like family to me.”

“Did you find it strange, then, to make love with him?”

The question was deeply personal, but again Hannah didn’t mind. Aside from the fact that enthrallment was in play, she trusted Vojalie.

Still, the question forced Hannah to pause and to think. Had it bothered her to have sex with Jude?

She finally shook her head. “I was only troubled because he’s realm, I’m human, and I’ve never seen myself going long-term with a realm-man. But no, it was easy to make love with him. I wasn’t even nervous. The whole experience was amazing and charged with, I’m not sure how to say this, passion, I suppose.”

“I can sense what your time with Jude meant to you, but I’m also sensing that you’re unaware of the layers of your affection for the mastyr. So let me ask you this: if you’d had this kind of sexual encounter with a human male, what would you be thinking right now?”

Hannah blinked for a moment, her thoughts becoming perfectly clear. “I would start seeing him, I suppose, then see what happened next, see if we had something real, if we could blend our lives, if it could work.”