Emergence (Awakening Series Book 2) (10 page)

Chapter 18

Carson

"Hey man," Max said walking over to me as I was readjusting the anchor. "I like Lou, she seems really cool, but are you sure you want to get into all that?"

I sucked in a deep breath and narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean by 'all that'?"

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you. Going from blowing through chicks like water to dating someone seriously is one thing, but some chick with a kid? That's a whole different level of responsibility, man."

I sighed, exasperated.

"Look Max, I don't expect you to understand, but yeah, I'm kind of taken with both of them, and I plan to keep them around. Forever, if you know what I'm saying."

"It's cool man, I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing. You're only twenty-two, that's awfully young to be saddling yourself with a kid."

"You're my buddy Max, and I know you're just trying to look out for me, but I promise you, this is what I want. Okay? End of discussion."

Max scratched the back of his head, squinting at me over his sunglasses before shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Whatever you say, Carson."

I knew that Max didn't get it, but I had been waiting for Lou my whole life and didn't realize it until I met her. And then after she disappeared I rearranged all my priorities so I could feel worthy of someone like her. Little did I know she would waltz back into my world and turn it upside down, but with her there, I couldn't see any way that  I could ever let her go.

Did Carly come as a surprise? I'll admit it, I was a little shocked at first. But she's part of Lou, she's adorable, and they're obviously a package deal. There wasn't ever a question in my mind as to whether I would accept Carly. I just did.

As I walked back up the beach I spotted Carly sleeping on the blanket under the umbrella. She looked so peaceful, her chubby cheeks slightly pinkened from the heat, her tiny hands curled up by her face with dimpled knuckles, and my heart swelled.

Love at first sight had always been a fairy tale to me. I never believed in it. The night I met Lou we definitely had an instant connection, but I knew from the second I met Carly that she would hold my heart forever. From the first time her tiny fist held my finger I was hooked.

"Hey," Lou said walking up to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. I settled my arms over hers, and leaned my cheek down on top of her head, still watching Carly sleep.

"She's so beautiful babe. Thank you for letting me be a part of her life," I said softly.

Lou moved around in front of me, her sunglasses covering her blue gaze, but I knew she was looking directly at me. "Carson, you are so amazing. It's incredible how you're so accepting of her, and it means so much to me. I should be the one thanking you for not walking away the moment you found out about her."

I could tell from the tone of her voice how serious she was in her statement. It was like she was used to people not accepting Carly. I couldn't imagine it. That little girl was like a piece of heaven, and I hoped to keep her and her mother around for as long as possible.

"Hey," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I can't even imagine walking away from her, or you for that matter. I was a goner from the first moment she drooled on me."

Lou laughed while I hugged her close and leaned back to lift her off her feet momentarily.

"You want to swim?" she asked me after I set her down, pulling her t-shirt over her head to reveal a modest two piece that showed off her ample chest and slender waist.

As she walked toward the water I felt a twitch in my pants. My eyes roamed over her flat stomach and the length of her firm legs before she turned away from me, gracing me with a view of her toned back and perfect ass. Heat unfurled inside me.

I watched her until she was knee deep in the water before I ran full speed down the beach, high stepping through the surf and diving in next to her, splashing water all over her.

When I emerged from the water her hair was soaked. Salty droplets dripped from the ends and ran down her chest, disappearing into her swimsuit top as she laughed.

"Ass," she said, pushing me back under the murky water.

A moment later I sprung off the bottom, catching her around the waist, lifting her off her feet and plunging both of us back under the waves. When we came up for air she wrapped her long legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders as I took us deep enough that the water was just below her breasts.

"What was that for?" she asked, shaking her hair out.

"For calling me an ass."

"Oh yeah? Well what's this for?" she asked, sliding one of her hands between us and underneath the waistband of my shorts, wrapping her long fingers around my erection.

"That,"  I said, punctuating the word with a kiss, "is a result of being in close proximity to you."

"Really," she stated. "So, what should we do about it?"

She leaned in and kissed me open mouthed, running her tongue along the seam of my lips until I opened them for her, and then she plunged inside. I could feel myself grow in her palm as our tongues tangled together.

She pulled back, breathless, searching my eyes as she pumped her fist up and down my cock. I shivered under her touch.

"Cold?" she asked.

"I'm about to warm myself up," I said, pulling aside her bathing suit bottom.

She leaned into me, seeming to surrender to the feeling of my fingers entering her slick channel. But a moment later she planted her feet on the sandy bottom and launched herself away from me.

"You'll have to catch me first!" she yelled, slicing her way through the water and back toward the shore.

I groaned and then laughed before setting a pace to overtake her. She'd almost made it thigh deep when I reached out and grabbed her ankle, dragging her back towards me laughing and sputtering.

"Carson, stop!" she screamed between breaths as I dunked her repeatedly under the water.

When I finally relented I pulled her against me, wiping her soaking hair back from her face. Her breath was heavy from exertion and her cheeks were flushed from the sun, but she'd never looked more beautiful to me.

"You're so damn gorgeous," I said to her, freeing my erection, sliding her suit aside and entering her in one long stroke. "And you feel damn incredible."

She moaned as I took her there in the water, with my friends none the wiser, and her adorable daughter sleeping peacefully up the beach.

Chapter 19

Lou

Later in the evening, after we'd both showered and Carly had been fed, bathed and put to bed, I walked into my living room to find Carson settled on my couch.

He looked devastatingly handsome, his dark blond hair styled all haphazard on his head, and I couldn't remember a time when anyone had affected me the way he did. There was just something about his presence that comforted me and excited me at the same time.

He looked up at me, his soft green eyes meeting my blue ones.

"Hey gorgeous, I poured us some wine. I hope you don't mind. It's just been a hell of a week."

I smiled as I walked around the couch to sit next to him, snuggling into the pocket between his chest and his arm.

"Not at all. I could use a glass myself."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I settled into his side.

"Thank you for taking us to the beach today. It was Carly's first time, and I think she had a blast. You were so wonderful with her. I've never had that."

Carson squeezed me into him and then looked down to meet my upturned face just as my phone rang. I ignored it, choosing to keep eye contact with Carson instead.

"You don't want to look?"

I shook my head just as it started to ring again, and exasperated, I reached for it just to silence it.

"Ugh," I groaned, seeing it was Derek.

"What is it?"

"Just Derek. He calls and texts once or twice a month, but it's been getting more frequent these days."

"Your ex?" he asked and I nodded. "Will you tell me about him?" he asked tentatively.

I stiffened against him, not sure if I was ready to reveal all the bullshit I'd been through in my marriage.

"You don't have to, but I've been thinking about it nonstop since last week when we were at Luke's."

I sighed and sat up on the couch, picking up my glass of wine and taking a giant gulp of it, hoping to stall a little while I gathered my courage. Liquid courage.

Talking about Derek had never been easy for me. I felt blindsided by the man he turned out to be, and I didn't like reliving that time in my life. I was too naive, too trusting, and maybe even a little too innocent to understand what was happening to our marriage until it was too late. And even after, I struggled to make things work for a long, long time, probably longer than I should have. I ended up walking away numb to his indiscretions, completely devoid of emotion as he tried to tear me down, and indifferent to his pleas for me to stay. I was done. Completely and utterly done.

Taking a deep breath I looked at Carson and started spitting it all out.

When I met Derek I had just started high school. He was a manager at Mellow Mushroom in town and I had just started waitressing. He was tall, good looking, very charismatic, and always the life of the party. All the guys wanted to be his friend, and every girl wanted to be his girlfriend.

Seeing Derek at school and working with him most days of the week slowly became the one thing I looked forward to. I would see his dark head moving through the crowded hallways towards me and swoon the minute he directed his devastating smile at me.

Once we started dating it was surreal. I almost couldn't believe that the best looking, funniest, most charming guy in the whole school wanted to be with me, but he did, and he was equally infatuated.

Looking back on it, I probably should have seen some red flags. Derek would get really grumpy if I talked to other guys, or if I couldn't meet up with him right after school. He complained about me hanging out with my friends instead of him, and tried to monopolize all my time. I thought it was sweet that he wanted me all to himself, but later, I realized it was more about him possessing and controlling me.

As my senior year started winding down, he became more and more cagey. I was planning to attend a local community college, and Derek had been looking for a job after his college graduation, but hadn't found anything locally. The only option he had was a start-up company in Virginia, which offered a solid salary and benefits package, but would take him halfway across the country

When he asked me to marry him and go with him, I didn't think twice, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I packed my bags, ignored my parents pleas to give it more time, and enrolled in online college courses.

The first year of our marriage wasn't perfect, but I was content. I cooked, cleaned, studied, ran errands, and basically took care of the house and everything Derek needed. We didn't have much, but we had each other and that's what really mattered to both of us.

When Derek suggested we have kids, I balked at the idea, we were so young, and not well established, but at his insistence, I relented. At first, trying to get pregnant was fun and exciting, but as time passed, it became more of a chore than anything else.

I had found a job as a nanny to help pay the bills and save up for a baby, but when I'd get home at the end of the day, exhausted from chasing after two young kids, Derek would come home ranting about how dinner wasn't ready, the house was a mess, and how his blood pressure meds had been sitting at the pharmacy for several days without being picked up. I tried to start managing my time better so I could get everything done and keep him happy, but I was wearing myself thin.

Liz, the woman I nannied for, and I had become really close. She had a lot of trouble getting pregnant, and gave me tons of advice. We formed a bond almost immediately after meeting each other, and I was so glad to have a friend and confidant of my own. Someone who I could talk with about Derek and get advice from. Someone who wasn't part of his work crowd.

Liz was really my only friend. I had some acquaintances, but it was mostly people I'd met through Derek, and I couldn't really call them true friends. Most of the single women wanted to get to know me so they could get to Derek, and the married ones were all spouses of Derek's friends, so having Liz was like a lifesaver.

As Liz and I started getting closer and hanging out more and more, Derek grew more and more jealous in addition to berating me about my inability to get pregnant. He was always lashing out at me, saying that if I loved Liz's kids, and Liz's life, and taking vacations with Liz, that I should just move in with her and her family. He was being irrational, like he couldn't control my relationship with Liz, so he didn't want me to have it.

The first time I caught him cheating on me I was devastated. He blamed me though, saying that I drove him to it. He said a good wife would be making sure that her husband had everything he needed when he needed it, including sex, and since I wasn't home when he needed it, or didn't want to do it when he did, he found it elsewhere.

We were young and obviously had some communication issues, so we talked it out, decided to try harder, and moved forward.

After another year of marriage, fraught with emotional and what turned into sexual abuse, and more infidelity, Derek had become a different person. Gone was the charismatic, charming, all American boy next door, and in his place was a brooding, malcontent, image of the man I had fallen in love with.

"We were never the same after that," I said to Carson.

"He sounds like a dickhead."

I nodded noncommittally because really, I haven't told Carson half of the story, and he doesn't have any idea how far beyond 'dickhead' Derek actually goes.

"So what happened when you found out you were pregnant with Carly? That must have made him incredibly happy, even if he'd already ruined your relationship."

I sighed heavily. "Carson, I'm beat, it's been a really long day. Do you think we could save the rest of the story for another time?"

"Sure," he said, standing and giving me a toe curling kiss.

After Carson left, with promises to call me in the morning and of lunch dates during the work week, I crawled into my bed exhausted, but my mind wouldn't let me sleep. It kept spinning, thinking about everything I'd left unsaid that night, and about the huge secret I was still keeping from Carson.