Emergency at Bayside (18 page)

Meg was sleeping at the family home tonight— heaven only knew how, as practically every O’Sullivan in the phone book had been offered a bed
for the night, much to Kathy’s horror. Meg had been assigned a sleeping bag on the floor of her sister’s room. And, despite the prospect of a hard floor and Kathy’s grinding teeth, Meg was looking forward to it in a mawkish kind of way. Looking forward to sharing a room with her sister for probably the last time. No doubt in a couple of years when the families converged, Kathy’s room would be overflowing with travel cots and squeaky toys. But not tonight. Tonight it was just the two of them.

Flynn.

He popped into her mind, as he always did, but Meg couldn’t deal with it today—simply couldn’t go there and be expected to keep on smiling. Throwing back the sheets, she forced his image from her mind, flicking on the coffee machine and darting down the communal stairs. Her neighbours bade her g’day with barely a glance; Meg in her heart-patterned pyjama shorts and skimpy crop top, rushing to collect her newspaper, was an all too familiar sight.

What wasn’t a familiar sight, Meg realised, as she picked up the paper the newspaper boy had tossed onto the grass, was the huge silver car parked on the street. Correction, it
was
familiar—very familiar. And so was the six-foot, dark-haired, delicious package climbing out of it and walking towards her.

‘We need to talk.’

Meg nodded dumbly, suddenly acutely aware of her lack of attire. ‘How long have you been there?’

Flynn shrugged. ‘All night. Is he still here?’

On closer inspection, Meg figured he was speaking the truth. Though still looking delicious, his T-shirt
was crumpled like an old dishcloth and his chin certainly hadn’t met a razor for a while. ‘Who?’

‘Who do you think?’ He sounded irritated. ‘Vince, of course.’

‘Vince isn’t here,’ Meg said, confused. ‘He never has been. Honestly,’ she insisted when he gave her an unbelieving look. ‘Why on earth would you be sitting outside?’

Flynn completely ignored her question; he obviously had other things on his mind. ‘So what was that little tête-à-tête I saw you both engaging in?’

‘Flynn, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’ For once it was Meg sounding rational, Meg who sounded in control. It was Flynn who was obviously struggling to hold it together. ‘Look, do you want to come inside?’

He nodded and walking back to the flat, held the door open for her. Meg hesitated before going inside. Oh, she wasn’t nervous of Flynn—not for a second— she was more worried about going first up the stairs in a skimpy pair of shorts, which seemed a stupid thing to be getting worked up about, given the turn of events.

But she found it easier to focus on trivialities, too scared to let her mind leap ahead and ask the bigger questions—scared, so scared, of building up her hopes only to have them cruelly dashed again.

‘Do you want coffee?’

He shook his head impatiently. ‘I didn’t come for breakfast, Meg, I want to talk.’

‘Fine,’ Meg replied curtly, stalling for time, not sure whether or not she wanted to hear what he had
to say to her. ‘I’ll have a coffee while you do the talking.’ She held up the jug. ‘Last chance.’

The aroma of the fresh brew got Flynn down from his moral high ground a touch, and grudgingly he nodded. An uncomfortable night in a parked car, however luxurious the model, wasn’t the best prelude to what he had to say, and strong, sweet black coffee was just too tempting an offer to refuse.

She carried the drinks through to the lounge and sat down, determined not to let him see how flustered she was feeling, determined not to be the one to break the uncomfortable silence.

‘He’ll only hurt you,’ Flynn blurted out. ‘He might say he loves you, that he’s left his wife, but he’s cheated before and he’ll do it again.’

Meg just sat there, sipping her coffee, refusing point-blank to look at him.

‘And even if he doesn’t cheat you’re going to spend your life wondering. Every time he says he’s going to be late, every time there’s a wrong number on the telephone you’ll work yourself up into a frenzy wondering if this is it.’

‘And you sat outside all night to tell me this?’

‘Yes,’ Flynn said simply. ‘After the church I went around to your parents’. They were all a bit upset. Your mum wanted to march around and talk some sense into you, but I said I’d do it. I’ve been up to your door countless times in the night—half of me wanted to break it down, to give Vince what he deserves, while the other half of me knew it would be pointless, that you have to make up your own mind, see what a loser he is for yourself.’

‘But I have already. I did the day I found out he was married.’ Her voice was starting to rise, a smouldering anger in her starting to ignite. ‘For months now I’ve been telling everyone it’s over—you, Mum, Kathy—yet none of you would listen. Why? Do you all think I’m so weak, so desperate that I’d take him back?’

‘No.’ He rose to his feet, running an exasperated hand through his hair before sitting back down again. ‘No one thinks that, Meg.’

‘Then why didn’t anyone believe me when I said it was over?’

He stared at her for the longest time before answering. ‘I guess we were all just scared.’

‘Scared?’ She gave a questioning, cynical laugh.

‘Your mum and Kathy love you. I guess they were scared of seeing you get hurt.’

‘And what about you, Flynn? Why were you scared?’

‘Because I love you too.’

And though the words were sweet and beautiful Meg had heard them before.

Before he’d promptly turned around and broken her heart.

‘You’ve already told me that, Flynn, but it didn’t stop you ending it. It didn’t stop you telling me that I was too suspicious and needy to merit you putting in what a relationship needs.’

‘Yes,’ he admitted. ‘But, hell, Meg, I’ve never had a jealous bone in my body until now. Seeing you and Vince together, sitting in my car, thinking you were
up here making love to him, I finally understood where you were coming from.’

She stared at him, unblinking. The fact that they loved each other wasn’t in question here; it was how they dealt with their pasts that was tearing them apart.

‘Not good enough, Flynn,’ Meg finally answered, her voice unmoved. ‘So you were jealous; so you finally got a taste of how I was feeling. Just what’s that supposed to prove? Jealousy isn’t our only problem, but you refuse to acknowledge that.’

‘No, I don’t.’ His voice was a pale whisper. ‘You were right. I’m not over Lucy. All that bull about celebrating her life, not mourning her death—all the big speeches about better to have loved and lost…’ His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat before turning his eyes back to Meg. ‘None of it was true, but I wasn’t lying when I said it. I truly believed I was coping, that I was over her.’

Meg felt the tears well in her eyes—tears for his pain and tears for herself too. He wasn’t over Lucy, she had known it in her heart, but hearing it confirmed, knowing he wasn’t ready to move on, felt like the final twist of the knife.

‘I’m so tired, Meg, so torn and tired. All I want to do, all I can do, is get away for a while. I rang Dr Campbell from the car this morning; he’s going to give me some unpaid leave.’ He gave a half-laugh but there was no humour in it. ‘Somehow I doubt even he could get compassionate leave approved by Personnel two years after the event.’

‘Well, they should. There’s no blueprint.’ Her voice was strangely high. ‘People deal with these
things in their own way. I know you need time, Flynn, but I don’t know what you expect me to say here.’ She swallowed nervously, scared of saying the wrong thing, scared of putting on too much pressure that might send him scuttling away. But if she couldn’t be honest, couldn’t even tell him this, then there wasn’t much point.

No point at all.

‘I’ll wait for you.’

‘Meg, you don’t…’ He took a step towards her but she put up her hand.

‘Let me finish, Flynn.’ Tears were pouring down her cheeks, but there was no hysteria in her voice, just calm tones mingled with a quiet dignity. ‘I was mortified when I found out about Vince. Mortified that I could have been so fooled, so used, and mortified for what I’d done to his wife and my own family.’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’

‘I know,’ she admitted. ‘But it was how I felt. And, rightly or wrongly, I was embarrassed, humiliated. But the tears I cried, the pain I felt, they weren’t about Vince. Any love I had died there and then when I found out. Do you understand that?’

There was something in her voice that told him it was imperative he did, and he nodded.

‘But when you and I broke up I was devastated. Not for anyone else, not over what people might think—I was devastated for us. For you and for me. And if you can understand that, then you’ll know why I’m prepared to wait. Maybe you’ll come back a different person—maybe I won’t fit into your picture any
more. And if that’s the case then all you have to do is say so. I’ll survive. I’ll just carry right on. But if you do come back, and if you do still love me, then I’ll be right here waiting.’

‘Can I talk now?’ Flynn’s voice had all of its usual flip assurance, but the tears in his eyes told her he was moved. She sat down, the emotion of her speech having left her drained, almost numb. Nothing more could hurt her now.

‘You don’t have to wait for me, Meg. You don’t have to wait for me because I’m not going anywhere without you.’ He sat beside her and took her trembling hand as hope flickered on her face. ‘I
can’t
go anywhere without you. We’ve both been to hell and back, and we’re both coming out of it, but we’re coming out of it together. We’re going to disappear for a month and lie on a beach in the day and hold each other at night. I want to grieve for Lucy, and I’m ready to do it now, but I want you beside me, Meg.’ He took her in his arms then. ‘I can’t do this without you. Does that sound strange?’

She didn’t answer with words. The tiny shake of her head against his chest told him she understood.

‘When you were in my office, when you asked me why I came back to Emergency, it made me realise that I didn’t even know what the hell I was doing there. What it was I was trying to prove.’

‘You’re not going to leave too?’ She half-laughed, half-sobbed.

‘No,’ Flynn said slowly. ‘Because even though it hurts like hell, even though it’s sometimes the last place I want to be, it’s still the best job in the world.
And I know that deep down in there…’ He tapped gently at her chest as he kissed the top of her head. ‘Deep down in there, you love it too. Don’t hand in your notice, Meg,’ he whispered. ‘Not yet. You need a break, a rest, and then, if you’re still feeling the same when we come back, go for it—move on without a backward glance. But don’t throw your career away just yet. You’re tired and you’re burnt out, but you’re still a wonderful nurse.’

‘I don’t really want to leave,’ Meg admitted. ‘But I can’t go on doing it feeling like this.’

‘Those days are gone now, Meg,’ Flynn said, his voice trembling with emotion. ‘You’re never going to be crying in the car on your way home from work again because there’ll be no need. You’ll be coming home to me.’

She closed her eyes, revelling in the soft caress of his words, the glimpse of the future with Flynn beside her.

‘We can’t promise each other that we’re going to make everything all right, can’t promise that we’re going to take away all the pain. But we can be there for each other, and surely that can only make things better?’

Her kiss was his answer, and hot salty tears were mingling, uniting, as they held each other close. ‘I’d marry you tomorrow if it wouldn’t steal Kathy’s thunder.’

Meg laughed, but he noticed she was chewing her lip nervously.

‘What? Come on, Meg, you can’t not tell me.’

Meg pulled away. ‘Flynn, about going on
holiday… There’s nothing I want more than to go away with you, but I don’t think I can. I know you’ll think I’m silly. It’s just…’

‘Just what?’

Meg swallowed. ‘Mum would have a fit if I told her I was going on holiday with you—with any man, come to that.’

‘But you’re twenty-eight, for heaven’s sake.’ There was a humorous glint in his eye but Meg was too worked up to notice.

‘I know, but it’s just the way she is. I wouldn’t expect you to understand. I just can’t hurt her like that.’

‘I think you underestimate your mum.’

‘Believe me, I don’t,’ Meg muttered.

‘Oh, yes, you do.’ He popped a kiss on her nose. ‘I’ve already asked her, and she’s fine with it.’

Meg’s jaw dropped to the floor. ‘You never did?’

‘I did.’ Flynn grinned, then winced dramatically. ‘A slight exaggeration—she wasn’t exactly fine, but she soon came around.’

‘How?’

‘Are you busy today?’

‘Impossibly,’ Meg said, bemused. ‘I’ve got to pick up Aunt Morag, my cousins, do some shopping…’ she glanced up at Audrey, smiling demurely from the mantelpiece ‘…pluck my eyebrows.’

‘Well, add ‘‘Buy an engagement ring’’ to your list,’ Flynn said blithely, but there was a small muscle flickering in his cheek. ‘Because if there’s not a ring on your finger by the wedding tomorrow then the deal’s off. According to your mother it had better be
a ring that can be seen from the back rows of the church.’

‘She never said that.’ Meg laughed.

‘And plenty more besides.’ Taking her hands, he stood her up. ‘Come on, we’d better get a move on.’

Though Meg couldn’t wipe the smile off her face, she wondered how Flynn could even think about shopping at a time like this! ‘I’d better get dressed first.’

His fingers were toying with her crop top. ‘You’d better, hadn’t you?’ He gave a dramatic sigh. ‘And if we’re going to have any hope of getting things done today I guess I’ll just have to give you a hand.’

Aunt Morag, her hair, her eyebrows—they didn’t even merit a thought as he slithered the top over Meg’s head.

Flynn was beside her now.

They’d get there in the end.

* * * * *

ISBN-13: 9781460377796

Emergency at Bayside

Copyright © 2015 by Carol Marinelli

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