Emil and the Detectives (11 page)

T
OWARD EVENING THE BOYS ALL LEFT
. A
ND
E
MIL HAD TO
swear up and down that he and Pony the Hat would be at the Professor's the following afternoon. Then Mr. Heimbold came home and they had dinner. Afterwards he gave the thousand marks to his sister-in-law, Mrs. Tabletoe, and advised her to put the money in the bank.

“I was already planning to do just that,” said the hairdresser.

“No!” cried Emil. “You're taking all the fun out of it. Mom should get herself an electric hair dryer and a furlined coat. What's with you people? The money belongs to me. I can do with it what I want, can't I?”

“You can't do anything with it,” explained Uncle Robert. “You're a minor. It's up to your mother to decide what to do with the money.”

Emil got up from the table and walked over to the window.

“Come on, Heimbold! Don't be such a dork!” said Pony the Hat to her father. “Can't you see how happy it would make Emil to give his mom a present? You grownups can be such numbskulls sometimes!”

“Of course she'll get herself a hair dryer and a coat,” said Grandma. “But whatever's left will go into the bank. Right, Emil?”

“That's right,” said Emil. “Is that okay with you, Mom?”

“If you say so, you wealthy man!”

“We'll go shopping first thing in the morning. Pony, you're coming with me!” exclaimed a very satisfied Emil.

“You think I'm staying here and twiddling my thumbs?” said his cousin. “But you have to buy something for yourself, too. Of course your mom should get her hair dryer, but you should get a bike of your own, so you don't keep riding mine around and messing it up.”

“Emil,” Mrs. Tabletoe asked worriedly, “did you break Pony's bicycle?”

“Oh Mom! I just raised her seat a little. She likes to monkey around and ride with it all the way down so she looks like a motorbike racer.”

“You're the monkey!” yelled Pony. “If you mess with my bike one more time, I'll never talk to you again, got that?”

“If you weren't a girl and as skinny as a rake, I'd pop you one. I really don't feel like being in a bad mood today, but what I buy or don't buy with my money is none of your business.” And Emil sullenly shoved both his fists into his trouser pockets.

“Don't argue, don't fight, just scratch each other's eyes out,” said Grandma, trying to calm them down. And the whole matter was dropped.

Later, Uncle Robert went out to walk the dog. The Heimbolds did not actually have a dog, but that's what Pony called it whenever her father went out at night for a beer.

Then Grandma and the two women and Pony the Hat and Emil sat in the living room and talked about the past few days, which had been so exciting.

“Well, maybe there's a moral to the story,” said Aunt Martha.

“Of course,” said Emil. “One lesson I've already learned: You shouldn't trust anyone.”

Then his mother said, “And I learned that you should never let your children travel alone.”

“Baloney!” barked Grandma. “You've got it all wrong. All wrong!”

“Baloney, baloney, baloney!” sang Pony the Hat and rode her chair across the room.

“You mean to say, the story has no moral?” asked Aunt Martha.

“Of course it does,” said Grandma.

“What is it then?” the others all asked in unison.Ã¥

“Don't send cash—use traveler's checks!” Grandma started to growl again, then just giggled like a music box.

“Yippee!” shouted Pony the Hat and rode her chair into the bedroom.