Emily's Choice (9 page)

June
2010

18
months later

It was noon,
and even though Emily had a to-do list a mile long, she took a break to call
her sister. Hope was due home at the end of the week, having been away for a
modeling shoot the last two weeks. Opening her grilled chicken salad at her
desk, she dialed her sister
’
s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Hope,
how’s it going?”

“The shoot
is going fine, and we’re on schedule. Here’s hoping we stay that way!”

“That’s
great. We miss you.”

“I miss you
guys, too. Anything new?”

“Nah, same
stuff, different day.” She took a bite of her salad. “Are you okay? You don’t
sound quite yourself.”

“Derek
called.”

Emily
groaned quietly, praying Hope had
finally
made a decision where her long-term boyfriend was concerned.

“I told him
I was out of town for the week,” Hope said smugly.

“What are
you going to do?”

“I don’t
know. He’s a nice guy, and I really like him. I probably even, you know,
L-O-V-E,” she whisper-spelled, “him. But I just don’t think I’m quite there
yet.”

“You can’t
leave him hanging much longer, Hope. You have to give him an answer, one way or
the other.”

“I know.”

“Can you see
spending the rest of your life without him?”

“I don’t
know.”

“Hope,” she
said sternly. Hope’s problem was she continuously held out hope that something
better, bigger, and brighter would come along. She never settled for anything.
But in this case, Emily didn’t see how anyone better could come along. Derek
was a grounding influence on Hope, and everyone could see that Hope was in love
with him. Emily’s fear was Hope was going to make the wrong choice and end up
miserable. Emily knew Derek wasn’t the type who would welcome Hope back when
she realized her mistake.

“I know,
Em
,” Hope whined. “I’m just scared. So scared.”

“Scared of
what?”

“What if I
make the wrong choice?”

“He loves
you, he treats you like a princess, and he’s so good for you. It’s your life,
but I think you’re making a huge mistake by waiting and considering saying no.
He won’t stick around, Hope. If you tell him no, he’ll walk away and that will
be that.”

“You really
think so?”

“Yes. If you
tell him no, there won’t be a second chance.”

“You make
him sound like an Alpha with no heart.”

“Honey, he
is an Alpha. You just don’t see it because he treats you so well. Have you
never seen the look in his eyes when you’re out together? The man shoots laser daggers
at any man who looks at you.”

“That’s
ridiculous!”

Emily
laughed. “It’s the truth. It’s a love that will carry you through anything.”

“I should
call him.”

“Yes, you
should. Ask him to pick you up from the airport, and when I see you on Friday,
there better be a ring on your finger!”

“Okay,” Hope
squealed with excitement. “Oh my God. I’m going to do it. Oh shit! I’m getting
engaged. Emily, I’m freaking out!”

“You don’t
say?” Emily laughed.

“Okay, okay.
I need to chill. I still have so much work to get done.”

“I’ll let
you go,” Emily said. “I’m so happy for you, Hope!”

“Thanks,
Em
. See you Friday!”

Emily hung
up and tried to settle herself. She truly was happy for Hope, but a part of her
was envious, too. Would it ever be her turn?

Ten seconds
later, the phone rang and Emily smiled when she saw her best friend’s name on
the caller ID. “Hi, Gina.”

“Are you
okay?”

“Yeah, glad
to hear your voice. How are you?”

“Good, but
enough about me. What’s with the melancholy I hear in your voice?”

“Oh nothing.
Just a lot of my mind.”

“Like . . . ?”
she prompted.

“I have a
lot going on at work, Hope’s probably getting engaged on Friday, I’m debating
letting Sadie go out and stay with Jason during Labor Day weekend.”

“Whoa, I don’t
even know where to start with all of that.”

“I know.”

“I guess I’ll
start with the exciting part. Hope’s getting engaged?”

“I hope so.
She’s scared to commit, scared she’ll make the wrong decision. But he loves her
and she loves him. And if she waits too much longer, he’ll be dust.”

“Holy crap.
I’m so happy for her.”

“Me, too.
Probably means Sadie and I need to start looking for our own place though.”

“Speaking
of,” Gina hinted, “maybe you should move home. Less to decide regarding Sadie
and Jason if you’re already here.”

“Ha. You
know I couldn’t live so close to him.”

“No one says
you have to live with your parents.”

“I think
even being in the same town would be too much. Seeing him at the bank, grocery
store, gas station. No thank you.”

“Hasn’t
enough time passed? It’s been two years.”

“I know
exactly how long it’s been, right down to the second. But I dream of him,
still. My body longs for his touch. My heart yearns for his love. I can’t live
there with those feelings still swirling around.”

“I hate the
distance. And I know you do, too, but I just wish things were different.”

“Me, too.”

“You’re sure
it wasn’t just a misunderstanding?”

Emily
snorted. “It’s hard to imagine his tongue down her throat being a
misunderstanding.”

“Maybe we
could run him out of town? Phoebe and I can do pretty amazing things once we
put our mind to it,” Gina said. Phoebe was the fourth of their group and the
most eccentric of them all.

“You’d have
to run
her
out of town, too. I’d probably kill her if I laid eyes on
her.”

“I haven’t
seen her in a few weeks. I wonder if she’s been in Boston.”

“Wouldn’t
know.”

“Fred said
she called into the station last week. He wouldn’t tell me why, though.”

“Probably
something petty.” Emily paused to take a sip of her Dr. Pepper. “So, how’re
things with Fred?”

“Freaking
fantastic,” she gushed. “Well, when I see him anyway. He’s been picking up some
extra shifts at the station to make up the time he took off for the wedding and
honeymoon.”

“Have you
decided whether you’re
gonna
start a family right away
or wait?”

“No. He
still wants to start now; I want to wait. I don’t even know why. I just know
that I want,
need
, a little time first. I want to enjoy being married,
enjoy having the house to ourselves, before we start filling it with the
pitter-patter of little feet.”

“Well,
whatever happens, I know you’ll both be wonderful parents.”

“Thanks.”
Gina paused and then released a sigh. “Okay, I’m just going to come out with
it. I can’t hold it back anymore.”

Emily
grinned and, shooting to her feet in excitement, shouted into the phone. “Oh my
God! You’re pregnant already!”

“Uh, no.
That’s not it, so settle down,” Gina said matter-of-factly. “I bumped into
Jason Friday night. Phoebe and I were at The Dustbowl and he was there with the
guys. When Phoebe went to the restroom, he came over.”

“I hope you
told him to go to Hell,” Emily said firmly, dropping down into her chair.

“You know I
didn’t,” Gina admonished. “Anyway, he asked how you and Sadie were doing.
Wondered if you’ve thawed yet. I think he might be contemplating another trip
east.”

“Not
necessary. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“
Em
. . .”

“Tyler says
he’s dating her,” she said derisively.

“More like
she stalks him and shows up wherever he’s at,” Gina said with heat. “She showed
up at The Dustbowl and spent the whole night throwing herself at him while he
tried to avoid her at all costs.”

Emily
snorted her disbelief, but if it had been anyone else telling her this, she
would have laughed in their face. “He was probably putting on a show for you.”
She wrapped the cord around her finger and sat back in her chair. “Tyler saw
them in Tucumcari a couple of months ago. They were walking down the street
hand-in-hand.”

Gina
groaned. “I don’t know what that was, but I’m sure it’s another case of not
what you think.”

“You really
think that?”

“You’re too
hard on him.” She drew in a deep breath and continued, “Listen, we’re best
friends, and of course I’m on your side, if that’s what you want to call it,
but he’s miserable and he wants you back.”

“I can’t,
Gina,” Emily said, wrapping a lock of hair around her finger. “It would hurt
too much to see him.” She paused to gather herself. She didn’t want to cry,
hated to cry, had promised herself she wouldn’t shed another tear over him. “He
should have thought about that before he played tonsil hockey with Lila,” Emily
scoffed.

“He loves
you,” Gina said simply.

“Marriage
has made you soft,” Emily said. “And you know how I feel about this whole
thing. Sure, he’s miserable—because he got caught. The only thing that
surprises me is the fact that he’s still trying to get me back.”

“He loves
you,” Gina repeated.

“Yeah, you
keep saying.” Emily sighed. “I think you’re just seeing the world through newly
wedded love-tinted sunglasses.”

“Maybe.”

Emily’s
voice broke. “It was the night before our wedding, Gina. The. Night. Before.”
She enunciated each word, putting a fine point on the end. What was it about
this situation that no one seemed to understand? “What if you’d caught Fred
kissing someone the night before your wedding?”

Gina sighed
into the phone. “I don’t know. Maybe I would I have barged into the room and
demanded an explanation right there.”

Emily
laughed harshly. “But that’s you to a tee.”

“Yeah, that’s
true. Listen, just give it some thought. Think for a minute that maybe you
walked in at just the wrong moment. Maybe
she
was kissing
him
and
not the other way around.”

“You think I
haven’t thought of that in all this time? I know how she is. I’ve seen her
operate. And that thought has crossed my mind. But why wasn’t he pushing her
away? Why didn’t he step back and tell her off?”

“He was
drunk,
Em
. He’d just gotten back from the bachelor
party. I’m sure his reflexes weren’t the best.”

Emily
groaned. “Let’s just drop this.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t want
to fight, Gina.”

“I know, but
sometimes you’re just so stubborn.”

“How’s
married life?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“You already
asked me, but we’ll do this again. And don’t think this conversation is over,
either. Anyway, married life is great and Fred is wonderful,” Gina replied in a
singsong voice.

“Have you
christened every room of the house yet?”

“Like three
times already!”

“Better be
careful or that five-year plan is
gonna
go out the
window!”

“Ha, says
you. We’re careful, and I’m going to get an IUD put in next week.”

“I thought
you already had one?”

“I did, but
they’re only good for five years. It’s time for another one.”

“I didn’t
know that. Huh, learn something new every day.”

“I’m getting
the eye from Fred. Think I need to go,” Gina said, giggling. “Stop, no
tickling!”

Emily
grinned as Gina’s giggling turned into peals of laughter. She was so pleased
Gina had found someone to make her happy. “All right, go have fun. Talk to you
later!”

“Bye,” Gina
said breathlessly.

Hanging up, Emily
sighed wistfully. Oh to be in love and carefree. She finished her salad and
went to the kitchen to refill her water mug. Returning to her desk, she tried
to push the envy she felt for her sister and best friend out of her heart. She
had so much work to accomplish, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t dislodge
it. Packing up her briefcase, she decided to take an extended lunch break. She
had a few things to pick up from the store, and then she thought she would
treat herself to the fabulous view at the apartment and work from home for the
rest of the day.

He drove
into town for his weekly errand run, driving on autopilot, his mind on what
more he could do to win back
Em’s
heart.

For her
birthday this year, he’d sent tickets to the ballet,
Onegin
. He had heard through the grapevine that she
really enjoyed going to shows like that and tried to attend them as often as
possible. When he’d researched the shows playing, this one had called out to
him. So he’d read the background and, with more than a little devil in his
eyes, bought the tickets. The ballet was about love triangles, unrequited love,
and the hard lessons learned from it. He’d hoped she’d find the humor in what
he’d done, but other than thanking him and telling him she’d enjoyed the show,
she hadn’t mentioned anything else about it.

For
Christmas, he’d sent her a necklace with hers and Sadie’s birthstones inside an
eternity symbol. And again, though she’d thanked him for the gift, that had
been all there was to it.

He was hoping
one of these times something would help him break through the ice and get her
to acknowledge him and his efforts. A few months ago, Grace told him that
Em
was stressed out—between work, Hope being out of town
again, and Sadie being a typical toddler—Emily was at her wit’s end. So he’d
phoned their babysitter and set up a spa day for her over the upcoming weekend.
But she’d canceled the babysitter and had yet to put the spa day package to
use, saying things at work had come up and she hadn’t been able to get away.

He sighed
and parked outside the florist shop. He sat in his truck for a moment,
wondering if he should even bother. He couldn’t figure out where the negative
feelings were coming from. Maybe just frustration. Maybe because he missed her.
Missed Sadie. Maybe because he wanted to turn back time, not go out with the
guys for his bachelor party, and be in a completely different spot in his life.
He shook his head. He couldn’t give up now. Maybe this would be the thing that
made her realize he was sorry.

He opened
the door and got out of his truck. He fed the meter and looked up, right into
the eyes of the person who’d made his life a living hell.

“Hi, sugar,”
Lila said, sidling up to him and resting her hand on his arm. “Missed you at
the bar this weekend.”

He ground
his teeth together. “Lila.” He pulled away from her hand and started toward the
florist shop.

“You don’t
have to buy me flowers.” She giggled. “You’re more than enough.”

“They aren’t
for you.”

“It’s too
bad.”

Falling for
the bait, he turned toward her. “What’s too bad?”

“That you
feel like you have to resort to this kind of thing. She should just love you
for you,” she looked down at her feet and whispered coyly, “I do.”

He closed
his eyes and tried to count to ten. But all he could envision was strangling
her. He jumped when he opened his eyes and found her a hair’s breadth away from
him. She moved quickly and silently.

“It could be
great with us,” she purred. “I don’t require strings, Jason. Just you.”

“Lila, I’ve
said this before. I’m not interested. Not in you. Not in the future you think
you’d have with me. Not with anything to do with you. Not interested.”

“I’m a
patient woman, Jason. I’ll wait as long as I need to.”

He rolled
his eyes and turned his back on her. He strode into the florist shop and tried
to put Lila and her craziness out of his mind.

“She still
annoying you?” the clerk asked, nodding toward the front windows.

He nodded
and glanced over his shoulder. He let out a deep breath of annoyance when he
saw she was leaning up against his truck. “
Martie
,
this town is too small. I can’t get away from her.”

“Looks like
she’s waiting for you.”

“She’s going
to be waiting a long time. Not interested.”

She laughed.
“What’ll it be this week?”

“Roses, I
think. Those
thornless
, purple ones. Two dozen.”

“Anything
for the little girl?”

“Nah, I have
something for her already.”

“How old is
she now?”

“Eighteen
months.”

“No kidding?
Really?”

“Yeah, can
you believe it? Time is flying by too fast.”

“Come back
to me when she’s getting married and having her own babies. Being a grandparent
is the best way to see time fly by.”
Martie
chuckled.

Jason
inwardly cringed at the thought of Sadie having her own babies but laughed with
Martie
. She was a sweet woman. She ran the florist
shop in town with her husband. She tended the stop and he worked the flowers.
They had their own greenhouse in the back of the shop and they lived above it.

“I see the
look of fear in your eyes. Savor all the moments because she’ll be grown and
having her own babies before you know it,” she said wistfully. “Sometimes I
wish we could travel back in time to our favorite moments. And those moments we
don’t remember anymore. The ones you tell yourself you’ll never forget, but
after a time, they fade away to nothing.”

“I already
have some of those.”

“I bet you
do. And you’ll have more before it’s said and done. Even now, with the boys all
grown and married—I still have moments with them that fade to dust.” She
finished filling out the order form and passed it across the counter for him to
review.

“Looks good,”
he said, barely glancing at it.

“They’ll be
delivered tomorrow.”

“Perfect.”
He handed her his credit card, signed the slip, and tipped his hat in her
direction. “Thank you,
Martie
.”

“Anytime,
cowboy. See you next week.”

He nodded. “You
know it.” He walked out the door and ignored Lila. Turning, he headed for the
bank. It didn’t take long for her to catch up to him.

“Wait up,”
she huffed.

“I have
things to do,” he growled. “I don’t have the time, nor the inclination, to wait
for you.” He increased his stride and hoped he could just outpace her. She
wouldn’t get the hint; she was too obtuse for that. But if he could outpace
her, then he wouldn’t have to listen to her.

When he
reached the bank, he didn’t even glance at her. He opened the door and walked
inside. He knew his mother would be rolling in her grave because he didn’t hold
the door open for her. But he didn’t consider her a lady and thought if his
mother knew exactly what he was dealing with, she’d maybe let it slide. But on
the off chance she wouldn’t, he silently apologized to her, God rest her soul.

He stood in
line, waiting for his turn. Lila waved to him as she walked into the back. He
assumed she’d been on her lunch break, and he breathed a sigh of relief that
her break was over. He’d be able to get the rest of his errands done without
her tagging along. If he thought a restraining order would do any good, and
wouldn’t embarrass him in the process, he’d head over to the Sheriff’s office
right now and get it done.

He knew
people in town saw her with him. Knew she did it on purpose. Knew she used the
town gossipmongers to her benefit. Knew that Emily was aware every time he was
seen with Lila and knew that each of those instances were taken out of context.
But, in a way, it didn’t matter because Emily saw what she wanted to see. And
all she saw was Jason with Lila.

Once out on
the sidewalk, he stood for a moment, staring out at the open fields across the
street. It was time to try to visit Boston again. He was running out of ideas
on how to fix this. She continued to keep him at arm’s length, and it drove him
crazy. If he went, he’d be able to count on
Em
not
spending any time with him. And that would suck, but he had a bright shining
light at the end of that particular tunnel. He’d get a lot of one-on-one time
with Sadie.

He could
take her to the aquarium, and they’d spend some time at the park. There was so
much to see and do, he and Sadie never got bored. Well, he never got bored. She
was still a little young for most of the things. But she loved the park and
would toddle around for hours on the equipment.

Mind made
up, he finished the rest of his errands and headed back out to the ranch. He
was walking up the steps to the house when his father came around the corner.

“Cows
getting out somehow. Clint’s foreman just called and said they had three of
ours in their back forty.”

“Great,
there goes the rest of my day.”

“Probably
the rest of your week.” Joe laughed.

“Hopefully
not. I was just
gonna
go inside and make arrangements
to go to Boston for a few days.”

Joe shook
his head. “Do you really think this time will be different?”

“No.”

“Waste of
time.”

“I get to
see Sadie, at the very least.”

“Bring the
child out here for a visit. Just fly out, pick her up, and bring her back.” Joe
kicked at the dirt in the driveway. “I’d like to see my first and only
grandchild in person, at least once before she’s all grown up.”

“That’s a
great idea, Dad. I’ll call her tomorrow and run it by her.”

“How can she
say no? And don’t let her.”

Jason
nodded. “I’m
gonna
head out and see about those cows.”

He went to
the barn and saddled his horse. He could take the four-wheeler, but he felt the
need for horseback. He needed simple. He needed peace and quiet. He needed to
think.