Emma’s Secret (15 page)

She shook her head. It was not unusual for him to be suddenly calm after the storm. He had strange mood swings these days, was erratic, went from being angry to loving.

He said, ‘I don’t know what gets into me sometimes. I suppose it’s overwork, stress, pressures. Forgive me?’

‘Yes, Mark. But why did you say those things about my mother? Why did you say I’m not going to inherit?’

‘It was just some gossip I heard about your mother. Forget it, darling. I really shouldn’t have repeated it. I was wrong.’

‘Why won’t you tell me who told you?’

‘It’s not anyone you know, some American chap who was here from New York. He claims he knew Shane in those days, when Shane was running the American end of O’Neill Hotels International. Let’s forget it, okay?’

‘All right. But it wasn’t very nice, I mean the things he said about Mummy.’

‘Oh I know. And as I said, I was wrong to repeat them. Look, let’s go out to dinner, shall we? Why don’t we go to Harry’s Bar? Go and change, and I’ll try and get a table for nine o’clock. Please, Tessa.’

‘That’ll be nice, going out,’ she murmured. ‘I’ll go and get ready.’

C
HAPTER
T
WELVE

‘I
have only one question for you,’ Linnet said, pausing in the middle of Chester Street, staring up at Julian.

‘Yes?’ he responded, looking down at her, thinking how lovely she looked in the lamplight, curbing the desire to kiss her passionately. ‘And what’s that?’

‘How did you manage to get past security at the back door of the store,
and
up to my office without anybody phoning me?’

Amused by the question, he began to laugh. ‘Joe Pinkerton was on duty at the staff entrance, and he’s known me since I was a toddler. So obviously he let me through.’

‘I see.’

Noting her sudden snippy tone, and not wishing to get a senior staff member into trouble, he quickly added, ‘But Joe did ask me to sign the book.’

‘I’m glad to hear it.’

‘Also, I mentioned I was coming to pick you up,’ Julian thought to add, watching her face carefully.

‘And how did Joe react to that?’ she asked, her voice a fraction milder.

‘He smiled, and winked, and—’

‘You see! Someone else assuming we’re a couple!’

‘Well, we are. We always have been and hopefully we always will be, whatever
you
think. And what’s wrong with that anyhow?’ he demanded, his voice rising sharply, an irate gleam entering his blue eyes.

Linnet continued to stare up at him, looking slightly put out, and she was about to make another sharp retort when spontaneously he grabbed hold of her shoulders, pulled her to him and kissed her fully and deeply on the mouth.

For a moment Linnet resisted, tried to push him away, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, and much to her amazement, she crumbled. Clinging to him fiercely, her arms around his neck, her resistance to him dissolved. She began to return his kisses with a passion which equalled his, surprising herself as well as Julian.

After a moment or two, they reluctantly drew apart, stood gaping at each other, both of them startled, for the same reason: Her unbridled response to him after weeks of cool and forbidding distance was a total turnabout, almost shocking in its own way.

Julian touched her cheeks, lightly, with his fingertips and murmured, ‘Come on, I’ve got a surprise for you.’ As he spoke he tucked her arm through his, and they continued down the street in the direction of his apartment. Once they were inside the entrance hall of the remodelled townhouse, he kissed her softly on the mouth again; then, taking her hand, he hurried her up the flight of stairs to the next floor.

‘What kind of surprise?’ she asked at last, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

Julian Kallinski simply smiled enigmatically, said nothing, and led her directly to his front door. After unlocking it, he ushered her inside, slammed the door behind them with his foot, and took her in his arms once more, his mouth finding hers.

Continuing to kiss her, he began to pull off her heavy topcoat, dropped it to the floor, then shrugged out of his own, let it fall, and they half-walked, half-stumbled towards the living room, still kissing each other.

The room was in darkness except for a pool of light from a small, silk-shaded lamp and the lambent flames from the fire burning in the hearth.

‘Our separation is over,’ Julian announced, impatiently taking off her suit jacket, throwing it on a chair, leading her towards the fire.

‘But—’

‘No
buts,’
he cried, putting two fingers on her lips to silence her, then he took her face between his hands, and stared deeply into her eyes. It was a face he loved, had loved since they were children. Heart-shaped, with high cheekbones and a broad brow, it was perfectly sculpted, the lines fine, delicate. She had sweeping auburn brows above those marvellous, deep-green eyes, balanced by the widow’s peak which came down onto her forehead in a dramatic vee. Her colouring was so vivid, so unique, it was heartstopping.

He had always loved her bright red-gold hair, and when her siblings and some of her cousins had called her ‘carrot top’ and ‘red pepper’, teasing her unmercifully when they were all growing up, he had angrily shouted rude comments back at them, forever defending her. And he had taken her to one of their secret places, where he had kissed the tears off her cheeks, kissed her small, capable hands, repeatedly told her she was the most beautiful of all girls. It was Gideon who usually came to find them, and he, too, hugged and comforted her, and encouraged her in her defiance of the others. They were her stalwart champions, the two of them.

Now Julian said, very slowly, ‘I’ve loved you all of my life, Linnet O’Neill. I’ll always love you. Until the day I die I’ll love you, and even after that. And I cannot go on like this. Very simply, I
won’t.
We have to be together again, and immediately. I can’t bear being away from you, I can’t live like this, I just can’t tolerate the separation you imposed.’

She gazed at him, saw the sincerity written on his face, the desperation in his eyes. But she remained silent, afraid to say anything, because she knew the wrong word would make him blow up. He was obviously at the end of his patience.

‘Tell me you truly want to end our relationship,’ he said after a moment, ‘tell me to go away forever, and I will. I promise I’ll never bother you again. Tell me you don’t love me any more, Linnet O’Neill, and I’ll go.’

Looking him straight in the eye, she cried, ‘Of course I love you, Julian! I always have, but you see, it’s—’

‘No!’ he shouted, more in frustration than annoyance. ‘This ridiculous nonsense has to stop, do you hear? I am putting a stop to it right now. I’m taking a stand, Linnet. I just won’t accept this from you any longer.
This is an ultimatum.
Either we go back to our normal relationship or I’m getting out…I’m jumping ship!’

He had spoken so harshly to her she was taken aback, and she visibly recoiled, startled by the authority in his voice, the look of absolute determination on his face. And suddenly she knew, at this precise moment, that if she continued her campaign to keep him at arm’s length, to stall the relationship, to put him off with endless excuses, she would lose him forever.

Julian had just shown her that he was in earnest. Deadly serious, in fact, and she understood deep within herself that he was far too proud to be treated with the kind of indifference she had been meting out. He was too much in love with her to stand for the separation she had imposed, too much of a man, too strong and virile, too self-confident to be bullied by her. No weakling, he.

Unexpectedly, she realized with a sudden rush of clarity that she was risking the relationship, that she somehow had to make amends to him.
Now.
At once. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow would be too late. She had pushed him too far, too hard, to the very limit, and his patience
was
at an end. That was patently obvious from his tone, the stance he had taken, the hard glint reflected in his blue eyes, the tight set of his generous mouth.

Linnet took a step forward and put her arms around him. Standing on tiptoe, she kissed him lightly on the mouth. Holding his hand in hers, she gently pulled him towards the fire.

‘Take this off,’ she murmured, touching the lapel of his jacket.

He did as she asked, and in one movement threw it to one side, stepped closer, and took her in his arms very forcefully. His mouth sought hers hungrily, and they kissed for a long time, and then they sank down onto the rug in front of the blazing fire, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Pushing himself up on his elbow all of a sudden, Julian gazed at her for a long moment, frowning, trying to read her face.

She saw the question in his eyes and asked, ‘What is it, Julian?’

‘Are you
sure?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Sure about this? Being here with me like this? Are you sure about ending the separation, coming back to me? Sure about
us?’

‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she whispered, reaching up, touching his face, her eyes spilling her love for him.

He nodded his understanding; a smile flickered fleetingly on his mouth and was gone. He wanted her so much; he always had. He began to smooth his hand over her breasts. They were suddenly taut beneath the thin silk of her shirt, and her nipples stood erect as they hardened. Just as he himself was erect and rapidly hardening. He bent over her, sucked at her nipple through the silk, staining it, then unbuttoned her shirt, took a breast out of her lacy bra. His mouth came down on her warm flesh, and he kissed her breast tenderly. He breathed in the warmth of her.

Linnet’s hands went up onto the nape of his neck, into his thick dark hair, and her fingers felt strong and firm on him.

Julian’s desire for her was intensifying, and to such an extent he thought he would burst. They had been apart for weeks now, weeks that had seemed endless, and during that time he had constantly thought about her, dreamed about her; she had rarely been out of his mind. And of course he had fantasized about making love to her, being with her like this.

He was terribly excited, his emotions high, his physical desire flaming through him. He wanted to enter her, to sink into the deepness of her, into her core. And yet he did not want to rush; he wanted to prolong these moments, savour them, and he wanted to pleasure her, just as he had been doing for years, since they had first understood that they were sexually attracted to each other as teenagers.

He began to kiss her mouth once again, and she opened it slightly for him, and he sought her tongue, gave her his. And they were enraptured with each other, joined in great intimacy, becoming part of each other.

Linnet was on fire, burning up, as she always was when they kissed like this, so voluptuously. She wanted him inside her, loving her, making her feel whole once more. She realized now how very much she had missed him, missed their lovemaking, their shared passion, their extraordinary sexual bonding. He had been making love to her since she was sixteen, possessing her constantly, and with great feverishness, and how she loved being possessed by him with such fervour. Suddenly she felt the pulse at the core of her beginning to throb, and she was damp and wild with desire just thinking about him. ‘Julian, Julian…please. I want you so much,’ she moaned softly.

He lifted his head from her breast, looked down at her, and nodded. He began to pull off her blouse, and she unbuttoned his shirt, snatching at it, and finally they shed the last of their clothes.

Julian lay down next to her on his side, fitting his body to the curve of hers. He was silent. Observing her. Absorbing her. He enjoyed looking at her, studying her, devouring her with his eyes.

She thought how marvellously masculine he was. Long and lean, yet muscular, with a broad chest. He was darkly handsome, with high cheekbones, a cleft in his chin, and eyes that were bright blue, but dark now with desire, his longing for her. He moved closer to her and she felt his hardness against her thigh, and it both thrilled and inflamed her; knowing how much he wanted her sexually was an aphrodisiac.

After a moment, Julian raised himself up on one elbow, began to stroke her all over, running his fingers across her breasts, down onto her stomach and then her thigh, until they came to rest on the red-gold hair at the top of her legs. Slowly, tantalizingly, he slid his hand down between her legs, which she parted for him. Linnet sighed and her body began to relax as his fingers fluttered around her core, probed and then entered her. She stiffened and a low moan trembled in her throat. He stroked and caressed her until she was crying out, and he bent over her body, brought his mouth down to join his fingers and he pleasured her until she convulsed, her legs stiffening, and as she came for him she cried out once more.

He could no longer hold back. Gripping her body, he entered her swiftly and hard, thrusting down into the deep darkness of her, loving her. She was part of him, part of his soul, and she had been for as long as he could remember.

Her long slender legs went around his back, and she locked them at the ankles, locked him into her the way she had learned to do so expertly over the years, the way he had taught her. He pushed his hands under her buttocks, lifting her to him, and she began to thrust her body against his, as he thrust into her velvet warmth. And he found himself floating higher and higher, as if he were intoxicated, and he was. With her, with the scent of her red-gold hair, the scent of her womanliness and her sex.

She began to tremble, the core of her suffused with heat and opening up all around him, engulfing him. He crested higher and higher; deep shudders convulsed him as he soared and, dimly, he heard her calling his name as he cried hers, and they were united once more, riding on waves of ecstasy and joy.

The intimacy of their reunion, the power and passion of their coupling after such a long absence left them both shattered, and they lay still for a long time, depleted.

But eventually they began to stir.

Julian watched Linnet as she gathered herself together, smoothed her hand through her auburn curls, settled against the base of the sofa, then reached for her shirt, slipped it on, as always a trifle shy with him after their lovemaking. She had always been that way, modest, aware of her nakedness, needing to cover herself, to be proper.

He smiled inwardly, thinking that there were two of her. The Linnet of this moment, covering her bare breasts, saying little, introverted, lost in herself; the Linnet of a short while ago, soaring with him on a sexual high: hot, wild, passionate. Uninhibited. Joyous. She was the joy of his life. He loved both of his Linnets with all his heart.

He pushed himself to his feet, bent over her, kissed the top of her head, walked across the living room and into his bedroom.

She watched him go, then closed her eyes, let herself drift with her thoughts. She was so happy to be with him again, and their lovemaking had been sublime. How had she ever believed that she could give him up? She must have been mad. He was part of her. The only man for her. The only man she had ever wanted.