Encompassing (2 page)

CHAPTER 3

“The things that seem impossible are not.  They’re just hard.”  -- from the book of Persistence

All of them looking down at the terrain below, they all felt peace and serenity, yet they felt a looming sensation as well.  The desert was a brutal place.  They knew that intrinsically, but from up in the sky, with canteens at their sides and the laughter of jokes slung at each other and with each other, it just seemed so blissful down there.  The architecture of the planet was amazing.

“So why are we here?” asks Renfield

“What kind of question is that?  Because you busted my balls and convinced me to convince others and now we’re here, asshole!”

“But why?  Think hard, it’s not that deep of a question.”

“You are a royal pain in my ass and I’m going to lose my job.  How’s that for a why?”  Brady yells over the beat of the chopper blades making their distinctive whir, hum and beat.

“We’re here so that we don’t ever meet again and don’t call me asshole.  It’s just not a good idea, trust me.  You’re about to be a jerk of unfathomable level and I’m about to pay the price for that, but I never am able to change that.  Every damned time, you shit!”

“What did you just call me?  If it weren’t for me, you would have never been allowed here or anywhere but an 8x4 room!  What the hell do you mean why are we here?  Answer me, damnit or we’ll turn around and never land!”

“You know.  Everything echoes.  You remember through the ‘you’s’ before you.  The ones I knew.  My friends.  Think about that, but be ready!  I need you to act fast when I…”  Renfield propels himself out of the helicopter trailing his sentence and leaving everyone in shock.

“Brady yells at the pilot, “Can anyone survive that fall?”

The pilot responds in half shock, half amazement, “Ummm, no!  No way!  This was a failed mission or an elaborate suicide.”

Brady yells louder, “Did you see where he went?”

The pilot gets a strange look on his face and replies, “Yes, but...”

“Follow!  NOW!  Go!”

The pilot looks back and wonders if Brady has lost his sanity too.  In order to avoid another “crazy” on board he quickly moves the stick to go in the direction of the strange man’s body.  “Of course, he’s dead!” He thinks to himself, “If the fall didn’t kill him the terrain down there would have ripped him to shreds!”

The other officers aboard look at Detective Brady as if he just lost his life, and in a sense, since Renfield was dead, then he had.

Brady picks up on the looks and screams at the pilot again, “Dive, get down there as fast as you can!  We need to bring back that body!”

CHAPTER 4

“When I met him, I understood that to everything there was a season and I turned.”  -- from the book of Sara

“So gentlemen, shall we dine?  I know the wait staff will deal with any dietary issues.”  Renfield comments.

One of the attendees, Larry Garfield, looks at another and asks, “Who the fuck is this kid and who the fuck does he think he is?  It’s not like I don’t like a free meal, but I don’t like his tone.”

The other attendee shrugs, having no problem with the situation.  From his standpoint it’s either going to be interesting or entertainment to watch the kid crash and burn.

Renfield rises, “To all of you in appreciation of our celebration, I thank you!”  He stands and raises his arms although most ignore his gesture and continue to dine or have their side conversations.”  Renfield laughs and grabs a bottle of champagne, holds it between his legs and shakes it in vulgarity.  The he aims his body at Larry Garfield and pulls the cork.  Before Larry can even react to the fact that he has been struck in the eye with a cork, his suit sprayed with champagne, Renfield jumps to his table and grabs him by the hair.  Struggling to ease the pain Larry, holds onto Renfield’s wrists with every fiber of his being as he’s dragged up the stairs to the podium.

Renfield addresses his newfound audience again.  He notates that there is a greater amount of attention on what he is about to say.  “What makes the difference between us, with money and power and our rules and the money and power and rules of those in prison?  Don’t say they have less, it’s worth as much in that economy to be kings and queens as it is in this one.”

The room, including the staff waiting on them are all turned to him, some awaiting the answer and some questioning his sanity.

Renfield kicks Mr. Garfield in the face hard as he lets go of his hair.  “Why is he the person I would kick down?”

Again, the room is silent.

Renfield continues, “He disrespected me.  In either society he can charge me with assault right now.  He won’t.  None of you would do business with him again if he did.  You have your reasons and he is a shmuck so he’ll do whatever the crowd says.  So why did I do it?  Because in either society if I let that type of shit go, I’d become a little bitch like him.  Have I made it clear that I am not only not a little bitch like him, but I will kill any of you fuckers if you fuck with me.  Period.  End of statement.”  He shakes off Larry’s hands and returns to his table as he adds, “Please, enjoy the night’s festivities!  By all means, drink up!  I am expecting someone to toast the event and I would be egotistical to do so myself.”

Everyone in the room looks at him and a few cell phones come out and click pictures, but one comes out and makes a call.  Renfield turns to the man making the call and shakes his head from side to side to symbolize just how bad of an idea that as.  The way he looks at the man making the call makes it clear he had already calculated and expected it.  As he grins at the man making the call, the caller begins to exit the room in discomfort over what he is about to say into his device.  He turns to look back at Renfield nervously as he sees Renfield grin at him.

CHAPTER 5

“Some things never change while everything around changes so much.  Sit and watch the stars and you’ll understand.”  -- from the book of Illumna

“That sucks every time!  However, I’m where I need to be.  That chopper can’t get near this position but they will try.  That puts Brady in position, given where he’d have to land.”  The agony is brutal and Renfield goes in and out of consciousness as his body starts the arduous task of rebuilding.  Upon one waking moment Renfield thinks to himself, “This is going to suck!  I sure as hell hope there aren’t any wolves or Coyotes or hell, even mountain lions around because I can’t stay awake and I have to get this right this time!”  Unfortunately, just the thought of failure makes it impossible for unconsciousness to ease the next many hours, but he sees the chopper land and at least he knows that Brady will move in via the south path and that is where he needs his old friend to be.  As he stares at the sky in agony, he sees a hawk swoop in and pick up a rabbit.  He watches as the hawk holds dear to its prize while in flight.  Renfield thinks to himself, “That’s a first, that’s either really good or totally bad.”  Unable to breathe much, he stares at the beetles crawling over him, knowing he is no longer a threat.  He laughingly thinks to himself, “I was above all of this just hours ago!  Now, I’m deep in dung, yet again!”

Finally, he hears the ceasing of the chopper sound and knows Brady has made it to the ground safely.  No big boom is a good thing.  That thought makes him smile, even if it hurts.  Then he loses consciousness for a moment.  Immediately the wildlife notes his weakness and he snaps into action.  Not able to stand he grabs a rock and beats the thing on his chest to death.  As if breathing wasn’t hard enough and now he has a rotting corpse on his chest which will draw more attention from the predators around him.  For a moment, he starts to doubt why he has done this so many times, but then that old thought comes back.  He knows why.

Off in the distance he can hear Brady’s voice echo through the canyons, “HERE!   WHY HERE?”

He laughs, at Brady’s impatience and smiles at Brady’s determination.  It’s why Brady was chosen.  Renfield knows when it happens. Brady is wired to know what to do and why.  He’s made that way for a reason.  He lays back and wishes for unconsciousness, racked with pain beyond what most could suffer, he’s resigned to his goal, so he endures.  He looks deeply at the moon and thinks to himself, “If you did not exist, there would be no tides and evolution would cease.  Anything that breathes oxygen would have long ago subsided to the resulting ammonia.”  Then he looks to the sand beside him and thinks, “The tides would have been useless if it were not for the granular and float properties of silicon.  Eventually ammonia based life would come along, but then there would have eventually been too much nitrogen.  It’s funny, but it is because of change that things stay the same.  This time there must be change, so everything can stay the same.  Right?”  Renfield goes through his normal set of thought as he thrashes in pain.  Oddly, his thoughts are more on the fact that he can feel his lips begin to chap.  He tries to focus on other things going on around him.  The desert is more alive than most think.  To stay alive in the desert, one must think like the desert itself.

After hours of convulsions and uncontrollable twitches, his body gives out and Renfield slips away for another moment.  Again, he is called to the light by happenings in the valley below, where Brady and the other officers landed.  The noise is chaotic.  Yelling, gunfire, screams not unlike his own agony.  His brow furrows in concern, though there is nothing he can do, but heal.

Renfield goes back through his mantras in his mind.  “Perspective is the universe.  Gain perspective, gain the universe.”, “As a god, one is more responsible, not more powerful.  Be a god or one quickly becomes a demon.  Gods win, demons are slain.”  Then finally, “What is and what seems to be are different.  What is - is always less drastic than what seems to be.”  With that he stood and headed towards Brady and the other officers, knowing he would have to explain some things when he arrived in relatively good shape.  Over time, the scars and discoloration would fade.  They always did, so he had no worry of that.  One last thought passed through his mind, “Fear paralyzes victims and they perish, unable to fight back.  Fear motivates those who walk into it. They accomplish their goals.”  He smiled as he remembered the ants.  Very organized, but invading of his space.  He had tried the conventional methods but quickly learned they move too fast.  He knew the concepts.  Kill the queen because she will eat the dead, but the queen was becoming too smart for that and rejected the offerings from her soldiers.  What she needed was a concoction to interrupt her signal, her communication with her hive.  Once she was tricked into taking a dosage that did not kill her but put her at ease, she would eat the soldiers that died from a stronger dosage of that poison.  As the queens died the soldiers were cut off, stopped trying to eat and died.  It was brutal, but necessary to maintain order.  Strangely, exactly what the ants needed to survive.  They just picked the wrong place to do that in.  He laughed to himself as he walked.  “No one said there is anything wrong with a hive mind, but individual ingenuity can conquer all of it at once and momma said, ‘don’t put all of your eggs in one basket’.  He knew what they were up against.  A hive mind that was very fast.  He knew it would take teamwork, but he had to trust in individuals working as a team.  Not a hive.  He knew this too well.  He also knew it was his fate to lead that team and try to keep everyone on board with that principle.  Work together, or we fail.  Make decisions or we fail.  Tough line to walk.  His leg gave out and he fell, he realized he hadn’t set it.  The bone was jutting out and had been ripping the muscle the whole time he had been walking.  “Damn!” he thought, “Eventually, I’ll need water!”

CHAPTER 6

“If you don’t feel swept up in a whirlwind of insanity, you’ve never been in love and therefore haven’t lived.”  -- from the book of Stephen

“Of course it’s complicated!  But she desires you.  Love her.”

“And subject her to all of this?”  Renfield says, his arm sweeping wide.

“If you don’t, I won’t exist.  If I don’t exist…”

“Who said I wanted to exist?”  Renfield shoots back.

“You proved your desire to, by existing.  We could spend hours discussing the finer points of that, but you already know what I mean.”

Renfield waves a hand and replies, “That was a long time ago.”  He lowers his head, as he speaks the next sentence, “Even I don’t know how long ago, just that it never seems to end and somedays I wish I wasn’t what I am.”

“Weakness.  You feel pain.  That’s ok.  Pain is weakness leaving the body.”

“And Phillip?”

“He understands.”

Renfield looks up, “How is your wife, these days?”

Brian responds, “Still dead, but thanks for asking.”

Renfield looks down again.  As he looks back up at Brian he sees that Brian is quite aware of what he gleaned by those answers.  Changing the topic he asks Brian, “How do you explain long equations to people who don’t like math?”

Brian waves a hand at Renfield as if to smack him, but comes short by just a millimeter.  “Simplify the equation?”  He shouts at Renfield while turning away.

Renfield replies, “No, they don’t like math, so how do you explain?”

“I didn’t learn from you.  I learned from a version of you.  Timelines change.  You change them.  So don’t say I learned from you.  I barely know you.  I know someone like you.”

Renfield looks up again and smiles.  “I suppose that is why we have our conversations, Brian.  We are not unlike her.  We want to understand the concentric circles.”  He stands and continues. “We don’t yet.  But we will find the answer and then the drawing is done.”

Brian thinks but answers faster than he means to, “We all play our part, but you are more certain of your goal than is understandable.”  Brian pauses.  “You once described everything in the universe as a box.  You said anything new in the universe automatically made the box larger to encompass the new thing.  All interactions are things and things need space.”

“I said, things need space and it takes time, but your point?”  Renfield asks.

“I’ve tried my whole life to take consideration of the things I do because of that statement.  But then you went on.  You proved that as I wave a finger through the air I change billions of things that are going to happen.”  Brian pauses and considers his next words.  “You made me afraid to move!”  He bursts as his face goes noticeably red.

“Your cousin makes you move.  I am proud that you consider before acting, but they are right.  You have to learn to do both, faster.  She is that side of you.  You’re becoming something greater, Brian.”  Renfield replies.  “You couldn’t be here now if that weren’t the case.  You have your…”  Renfield waves a hand.  “When did you come from this time?”

Brian gives him an odd look.  “Why do you care, you’ve been ahead of me the whole time in all time, so you know the answer and I know you already read it from me.”

Renfield sits, “I don’t trust what I hear that way as much as speech, anymore.  Things have changed.  It’s been so many years since that day.”

Brian answers swiftly, “And yet that day is coming for you.  Get it right this time.  What makes you so sure that you even know which day matters?”

Renfield says, “Without that day, none of us exists.  There is nothing to traverse.”

“You really believe that?”  Brian snorts.  “Do you think we should all exist?  You’ve been doing this for so long and yet I am here, and now there is Phillip.”

“You’re beginning to sound like your mother and Stephen.”  Renfield replies.  “This universe created all of us.  We are it.  It is we.  As we are I and I am we.”

“Hmmm, paraphrasing the Beatles or ancient Native Americans?”  Brian asks.

“The list is long when it comes to religions and musicians.”  Renfield replies.  Some begin to understand.  Religions form around them like fans do around musicians.  It’s the same song.  We are one.”

Brian looks serious for a moment as he looks down at his feet and the ground below it, “So you are referring to the concept of Kumbaya?”  He looks at Renfield as he tosses what has become, unlike him, long locks, from his eye, so he can see the reaction on Adam’s face.

Adam responds, “The same concept is echoed throughout.  One cannot say one is right or wrong if they are all the same once it is understood.”

Brian looks at Renfield, “So what is it we are supposed to understand?”

Renfield peers at him, “All of it.  And there will be a moment it will be all at once.”

Brian retorts, “You truly believe that, don’t you.  But you still don’t know.  If you knew, you wouldn’t be subtly asking me questions to figure out when I am from this time or where I am going.”  Brian paces the floor for only three steps in each direction then adds, “You know I am aware of Stephen now.  You know my wife is dead.  You know a lot of facts, as do I of you.  What you still want to know is the answer.”  Brian stops abruptly as he hears Renfield.

“Brian, I understand.  I know where you grew up and I get that it was not…”  Renfield searches for the right word, and unlike him he is unable to find it.

“You sent Bob there!  You!  Then…”  Brian holds his temper in check.

“Could you be what you are if I hadn’t?”  Renfield calmly asks.

Brian snaps back, “You would think you would get it by now, Renfield.  It sucks when you put yourself in the center of the universe because you become the thing everyone wants to punch.  You end up with two choices, take the punch and smile or hit back.”  He looks hard at Renfield and then calms.

Renfield replies, “People punch themselves.”  Renfield turns knowing that Brian is about to click away.  Renfield bows and mouths a ‘thanks’.  Brian understands.  Renfield says, “Which did you love more?”

Brian stops and says, “All.  You should understand that.”

“Your mother is genius.  Her concepts are, well, disturbing, but technology isn’t going to stop.  They are dangerous ideas, but I have always trusted her.  I know she wasn’t there for a long time, but she was…”

“Like you?”  Brian cuts Renfield off.

“It’s one way or the other, Brian.  You’re not much different, so I know you understand.”  Renfield replies.

“So Phillip takes the brunt?”  Brian’s face goes red with anger again.

Renfield nods and then shakes his head.  “You said he understood.  All of us have taken the brunt, but we have to do what is right.  I want you to be ready to kill faster.  Consider peace first.  That’s what I admire about you, but do it while you act.  Both are important, but you can’t do the universe and good if you aren’t in it.”

“I already am.”  Brian vociferates, “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.  I’m sure you are, at this point, aware of what I tried.”  Brian finishes having calmed almost as instantly as the umbrage in him rose.  Then he turns to Renfield and asks, “What was it like?  Being dead.  I was close, but you were.”

Renfield places a hand under his chin and strokes at his goatee while considering the question.  “Do you mean when I was erased or when I died?”

Brian shrugs in response so Adam chooses, “When I was dead, I remember distinctly feeling that I was free of any influence from food, drink, touch, smell.  But I could see myself.  I could hear what was going on.  I couldn’t decide.”

“Decide what?” Brian asked moving towards him with his brows lowering in piercing manner.

“It took a while, but I decided.  I think that’s obvious.  You’re talking to me now.”  Renfield puts his hand to his own brow at the memory.  “Brian, don’t die, okay?”

Brian looks at Renfield intently then he asks, “What is the difference between good and evil?”

“Right and wrong.”  Renfield replies.  He notes Brian gives him a furrowed look so Renfield follows up, “There is a many thousands of years’ philosophical argument about Hedonism vs. Sacrifice.  Taken too far, each is dangerous.  People push both directions.  Good people balance, bad people can’t see the greys.  They can only see the Black or the White.  And there is intent.”  Renfield looks at Brian, trying hard to read him or hear him to know if his answer satisfied the question.

Then on the station Renfield is tuned into, on the TV, is a view of a large crowd gathering.  He looks at Brian watching.  “Do you understand?”  He asks of Brian.  “That is the universe.  That is love!  That is individuals, bifurcated, trying to make the whole again.  That’s why we do what we do!”  Renfield stands and looks at Brian, “At some point something infected love and the whole became the many.  We have to figure it out!  In time, there is an answer.  But time is a delicate thing.”  Renfield is again unable to hear if he understands the point he is trying to make.

Adam focuses on Brian and hears “It’s already been a lot of time and no time at all.”  Then Renfield sees Brian disappear.  Adam tried hard to hear where Brian was headed, but Brian was quick.

Renfield thought to himself, “Well, he’s getting better at attacking while he thinks.”

Then Renfield clicks too.  He knows he has to make a past to have a future.