ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) (20 page)

Carissa looked out over the water. They’d been over
the ocean now for three hours, and the farther she flew
away from Kansas City the more hollow inside she felt.

“You have a man on your mind.” Pablo handed her a
drink and then occupied the seat next to her.
“Guilty.” She accepted the drink and set it on her tray.
“Ah, the last time I flew with Sophia she sat next to me
sobbing over your father. Damn him.”
Carissa’s head popped up. She looked into the
gorgeous, chocolate eyes of Pablo DiAngelo, and he
laughed. “She’d never stopped loving him. Oh, she cried
over him, said she hated him. Once she wished him a
plague.” That made them both laugh. “But she loved him
always.”
Carissa nodded and sipped the drink he’d brought. She
coughed when she realized it wasn’t just orange juice.
Pablo laughed. “I thought it would loosen you up.”
“I guess so,” she said, setting it back on the tray.
“Tell me about this man you love.”
“How do you know I love him?” She didn’t want to
tell him who she was in love with. Thomas hadn’t spoken
of Pablo much, and when he did, the conversation seemed
to have a hitch. She’d also seen Pablo’s reaction when her
mother had mentioned Thomas’s name.
“I know.” He patted her hand. “It wears on your face.”
“Well, I was wrong. I thought I could love him, but he
doesn’t love me. I don’t think he knows how to love
anyone.”
“Ah, I know a man like this.” He nodded and took her
hand in his. “That man was me.” He rested his head against
the back of the seat. “I loved a man so much I would have
died for him. He completed me in every way. However, I
wouldn’t admit it beyond the small circle of people I kept
close. I’m not sure I admitted it to them either, but I was
more at ease around them.”
He turned his head to look at her. “I used Sophia
mercilessly.”
“Used her?” She’d never heard Sophia say such things.
“Yes. I kept her close to me so the world would think I
was in love with her, and he’d walk behind us. Always
behind us.” He shook his head. “But it was him I loved.”
“What happened?”
“Oh, we fought. He’d leave. I’d apologize and we’d
make up. He wanted me to tell the world I loved him, but I
was too afraid to risk it. What if the world stopped loving
me? I was wrong.”
Pablo sucked in a breath and continued, “The night
your mother decided to return to you and your father was
the night Vatican decided we were not worthy of their
audience; he got into a fight with a paparazzo and ended up
in the hospital.” He took a sip of the drink he held in his
other hand. “I swore to him if he got out of that bed I’d
walk right out in front of the press and kiss him and profess
my love.”
“And I remember, that’s what you did.” It had been in
the papers and she’d seen it. He’d made his statement.
Pablo nodded. “I should have done it from the moment
I told him I loved him. I shouldn’t have waited until
someone attacked him.” He sat silently for a moment,
looking past her and out the window. Then he focused back
on her. “It wasn’t easy for us after the Vatican canceled us
and the world learned that I loved a man and had never had
a relationship with Sophia. We all fought to keep our
careers on track. The ensemble wasn’t important to me
anymore. I needed to understand what was happening in
my life, but there were others in the ensemble to think
about. My career was fine, but Pierre wanted to only be at
home and wait for me to return. I agreed to that.” His eyes
were getting darker, and the lines around his lips tightened.
“Then he was almost taken from me by someone I trusted
and helped.” He shook his head as if to ward off the tears
that had started to form in his eyes. “He’s almost blind now
because of the stupidity of another . . .”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, softly laying her other hand
on his arm.
“Oh, I’m the only one who cries about it. Pierre wears
it like a badge of honor. Says that he was in that car by his
own choice and it was as much his fault as that buffoon’s
who landed him in the hospital. Blames the wet streets of
Paris.”
He raked his fingers though his hair and let out a sigh.
“Well, I still love him and I would shout it if I needed to.”
He turned his head toward Carissa. “You’ll be back soon.
You tell this man you love that you love him, again, and
maybe this time he’ll listen.”
“He doesn’t even know I’m gone.” She shifted her
attention out the window.

Madison beat Thomas at chess four times before her
father made her head upstairs and clean her room.
Parker Bennett sat down at the table, in the seat that his
daughter had occupied, and rearranged the chess pieces
back into place. Thomas hoped he didn’t want to play. His
mind certainly wasn’t into it.
“Jane says you’ll be leaving soon.”
“I thought I’d head back in the morning.” He guessed
that since Parker was his mother’s husband, that made him
his father. He squirmed in his chair and then finally sat
back in it fully. “Well, I know Jane has made it perfectly
clear, but you are family. You’re welcome in our home
anytime.” Parker lifted his eyes toward Thomas and he saw
the sincerity in them. That was something he’d never seen
in his own father’s eyes.
“I appreciate that. I really do.” He smiled as Parker sat
back, draping his arm over the back of the chair, and
looked at Thomas.
“She’s missed you. I almost couldn’t convince her to
marry me because she missed you so much.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t . . .”
Parker’s hand rose, cutting off his apology. “I’ve
known your mother a long time. She’s never been happier
than she has been with you here. She worried about you.
She knew you were hurt.”
Thomas shifted in his chair again as Parker leaned
forward and rested his arms on the table.
“Will you be going back to—I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten
her name.” Parker’s silver eyebrows furrowed.
“Carissa,” he said on a sigh.
“Yes, Carissa.”
Thomas shook his head. “I’ll go back, but I don’t think
she’ll have me.”
“Well you could ask, couldn’t you?” He stood and
patted Thomas on the back as he passed by.
Everyone else seemed to have faith that she’d take him
back. Why didn’t he think it was possible?
He knew why. He’d done the one unthinkable thing
that Carissa had assumed he’d do and he’d promised not
to—he’d walked out.
He’d left her after having told her he wouldn’t. When
he’d called his mother, he didn’t even give a thought to
telling Carissa he’d be back. Probably, he realized, because
he wasn’t sure he would be. He had taken all of his
belongings, hadn’t he?
A sinking feeling hit his stomach when he realized he
had to go back. He’d made a commitment to Carissa’s
school of music. He’d made a commitment to the students
that would come into the school that he would teach them
what he knew so well. He’d made a commitment to Sophia.
Whether Carissa would still love him, that would be
another area to explore, and after seeing what his mother
had done with her life, perhaps it was worth trying. After
all, if everyone else saw good in him, maybe it was there.
Maybe if he pushed away the thoughts that he was just like
his father, they would go away.
Thomas sucked in a deep breath. If Carissa still loved
him, maybe it would be enough. Maybe just asking for
forgiveness and honoring the commitment he’d made to her
would be enough to start a new life with—without having
to run away.

It was time for Thomas to go. He’d packed his few
things and sat alone on his childhood bed. He hadn’t
anticipated the rush of joy that came when he thought about
his childhood, looking at all the things his mother had kept.
She’d preserved something he’d thought he’d lost to
bitterness and grief, but in actuality there were good times,
and that was all thanks to his mother.

“So you’re ready to go?” She materialized at the door
as though he had summoned her. He nodded, and she
walked toward him and sat down next to him on the bed.

Thomas breathed her in, thankful that she’d happened
upon him in the cemetery, because he knew he’d never
have made the trip otherwise.

“Madison invited me for Thanksgiving.” He smiled as
he looked into his mother’s familiar eyes. They weren’t
young anymore, as they had been when he’d seen her
laughing at him and Sarah playing that silly song before . . .

“Will you come?” Her voice shook and he knew she
was on the verge of tears, but she was holding them back.
He looked away. “Yes, I’ll be here.”
Jane touched her son’s cheek and directed his eyes
back to hers. “Thomas, bring her back with you. We’d love
to have her too.”
“I made a horrible mistake, Mom. I thought I couldn’t
love, but seeing what you’ve built after what was taken
from you . . .”
“It wasn’t easy, Thomas. It’s not supposed to be. And
letting you go now is one of the hardest things I’ve ever
done.” A tear fell and she wiped it quickly away. “As a
mother who has lost everything, I want to hold on to you
like you’re still my little boy and keep you in this room safe
and happy. I want to start all over again and make sure
nothing bad ever happens to you again. But I can’t do that.
You’re not a little boy anymore. You’re a man. You’re a
man venturing into something very big.”
“What is that?”
“You’re in love. Not one part of it is easy, but the
reward of it is great.” She reached into the pocket of her
dress and pulled out a small black box. “Here.”
“What’s this?” He opened it and saw a wedding ring
he’d seen once when he was a small boy.
“It was my mother’s,” she said, watching him examine
the ring in its box. “I told Sarah I would give it to her, but
under the circumstances, I think you should give it to
Carissa.”
He was a grown man, but the sentiment brought tears
to his eyes and he couldn’t help shedding them. “Mom, I . .
.”
“Love her more than you can admit. And you want to
keep her forever and make her happy.”
The tears that had welled in his eyes blurred his vision.
She was right. He wanted Carissa forever. He wanted to
make her happier than she’d ever been. She wanted her
school, her career, a marriage, and four children. And he
wanted to be the man who fulfilled those dreams with her.
“Thank you.” He kissed his mother on the cheek. “If
she says yes, we’ll both be here for Thanksgiving.”
“We have a lot of time, Thomas. A lot of time to make
up for the time we lost.”
He was glad to hear her say that. Sixteen years was a
long time, but it didn’t have to be forever. Things could
change, people could change. He’d finally seen it with his
own eyes. You could move on from where you’d come
from. Carissa had. His mother had. It was time for him to
become who he wanted to be—and he wanted to be more
than Carissa’s lover. He wanted to be her husband.

Carissa had heard about the temper that Pablo
DiAngelo possessed. Sophia had never kept that a secret.
However, his anger today wasn't directed toward her; it was
just the way he worked. The demeaning tension he caused
in every musician either broke them or forced them to dig
deeper into themselves and find the notes that would sound
like angels singing. Or when necessary, demons and their
destruction.

His wrath was worse if a note was missed or a
musician didn’t know the music.
She knew her material, from years of practice inspired
by admiration for Pablo DiAngelo and her mother. She’d
learned every song Pablo’s ensemble had ever played so
that she could play with Sophia, and they had done so
routinely for eight years.
Pablo’s tantrums had the pianist in tears. His timing
was off or his entrance was too slow.
Had he done that to Thomas? Had this been why
Thomas didn’t speak about his time with Pablo often?
The flutist yelled in Russian, the violinist didn’t speak
Italian, and Pablo’s partner had an opinion on everything
Pablo said.
She sat among them, the ensemble that Pablo
DiAngelo had handpicked, in the rehearsal hall and
wondered how her mother had endured such torture for ten
years. Had it been different, since they had all toured
together for so long? Were they a family whereas the
ensemble that she played with had been recently put
together?
The thoughts weren't important when she thought
about the opportunity that lay ahead. She’d never have had
the chance to play for an international audience. In truth
she’d never
taken
the chance. She’d holed herself up in her
house taking care of Millie and Katie so that she’d never
have had to put herself on the line for rejection.
And just as the violinist’s bow hit a note that had the
entire ensemble stop and Pablo rise from his seat, throwing
music in the air, she realized it had been that rejection that
she’d always feared. It had stopped her from ever dreaming
of grander things, because what if she’d failed?
Carissa straightened her back as Pablo called for them
to start from the beginning. That’s what she needed. A new
beginning for herself. A new start to her life where she
wasn’t afraid of rejection, but saw it as a new challenge.
It was time for her to shine.
She pulled her bow across the strings, thinking of what
a wonderful opportunity it would be for her and for the
school. She and Thomas could showcase their
accomplishments in Rome under the tutelage of Pablo
DiAngelo. She finished the song with a note of pure beauty
that had Pablo beaming at her and she herself feeling dizzy
from the excitement of bigger and better things. The
thought warmed her throughout, but then when it settled it
stung.
Thomas wasn’t part of her dreams anymore. She had to
remember that. Their relationship was like a cord that was
played flat.
He’d walked out on her like others before him. He’d
promised he wouldn’t, but he had. He was just another
piece of music she had memorized and never performed.
She took a deep breath and looked at her music as
Pablo moved into position after yet another argument with
Pierre. It was time for her to play. It was time for her to
shine. And dammit, when she returned to the States, it was
her time to move on.
The air in the car felt thick as Thomas tried to suck in
as much of it as he could to calm his nerves. It wasn’t
working.
He’d parked out front of the school, but Carissa’s car
wasn’t there. Perhaps she’d parked out back.
His palms were damp, his heart raced, and his head
spun. He’d never been so nervous in his entire life. He
reached across the car and grabbed the bouquet of flowers
that sat on the passenger seat. Balancing the flowers in the
crook of his arm, he raked his fingers through his hair,
climbed out of the rental car, and closed the door with his
hip.
There was a bell on the front door of the school now. It
rang as the door shut behind him.
“Thomas!” Sophia’s eyes grew wide with her smile as
she approached him from the back. “You came back.”
“Yes.” It was all he could say, because the sinking
feeling in his gut was that he should have taken Carissa
with him to meet his family. It shouldn’t have been just him
walking through that door, it should have been them. She
should have been part of that joyous occasion, but he’d left
her out, left her just as she’d feared he would The thought
made him dizzy.
He tried to refocus by taking in the new look of the
school. It had come together in the short amount of time
that he was gone. Walls were up and the floor was finished.
The rooms had doors and were awaiting glass for windows.
Carissa had to be so proud.
Sophia hugged him. “Did you bring me flowers?”
Thomas looked down at the flowers still in the crook
of his arm that Sophia had pressed between them when
she’d hugged them. He’d nearly forgotten he was holding
them, but he was grateful he had them. They hid his
shaking hands.
Sophia was staring up at him, studying him the way a
dear friend did when she knew something was wrong.
She laughed. “Thomas, I’m kidding. I know they’re
not for me. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, um, is Carissa here?” He looked down the hall
Sophia had come from. “Maybe you could just give these
to her. I’m sure she doesn’t want to see me.” He pushed the
flowers toward her, but she didn’t take them. The concern
in her eyes made guilt twist his stomach.
“Are you okay?” She reached for his arm.
“No. I’m not okay. I messed everything up and I know
she’s going to kick me to the curb.”
“Then you don’t know my daughter very well at all.”
She took him by the arm and sat him down in one of the
chairs in the parents’ area. “I’m going to get you some
water.”
“I’m really not thirsty. I should go.” He started to
stand, but Sophia placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Sit. Take some deep breaths. I’ll be back in a minute.”