End of the Line (10 page)

             
Robert went to Mindy. He put his hand on the sheet that covered her body, and then said the Lord’s Prayer. Mindy prayed. She wanted to believe that God would save her from this. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was how he saved her.

             
Robert went to Eli, said the prayer again, and then moved to the woman. I wouldn’t do anything for her, if there were a Hell, that’s where she belonged. I almost stopped Robert from doing it, but I know I had to control my anger. He didn’t pray for her, instead said: “Lord, forgive you.”

             
“Doctor, you should say something,” Jim said. He always knew when the change subject.

             
I didn’t want to. I wanted to go back to bed and curl up with the cat but they were looking at me for words, advice, some
thing to make everything right.
             

             
“I will miss Mindy and Eli. Eli was a help to the council and he got the toilets to flush. Mindy was an amazing nurse. In another life, she would be a doctor. They were both stubborn and invaluable to this place, to our survival. We will miss them,” I paused. I wouldn’t cry. 

             
“Do you think you could show emotions for one minute?” Annemari
e said with tears in her eyes.

             
“Come on, doc,” Jim said. “It’s okay to be upset.”

Maddie put her arm on my shoulder. “It’s okay, honey. I know you have emotions and this upsets you. We’re all here for you.”

They didn’t understand that is if I cried the memories would come flooding in. I would remember everything and I wouldn’t be able to hold it together.

Instead I said. “I’m sorry if you don’t think I’m a good leader. I didn’t ask for this but I’m trying my best. I know you want someone to lead you out of the dark, to destroy the zombies and return us back to what we had. Abe made it seem like things would go back to normal. Maybe he killed himself when he realized the truth. I may not be a good leader by telling you, it isn’t going to happen. This may never end. The world we know is gone, billions of people are dead, people we loved and now we face extinction from the dead. We have only two choices: we die or accept this as our life. Always on the run from zombies and we may have to live here for a long time.”

             
“You’re upbeat,” Tanya said and for a change her voice had no hint of sarcasm. 

             
“I’m realistic.”

             
“I kind of wish we could make some trips outside,” this came from Ashley. “I mean Henry’s here and maybe he can fix up a car or something. I would love if someone could come with me to check up on my daughter. Abe thought it was too dangerous for me to go alone but he never found someone to take me.”

             
I’m pretty sure Ab
e didn’t want anyone to leave.
             

             
“The cars out there—“ Henry said. “They probably need starters, spark plugs, and maybe some gas additives, cause they haven’t been run in a while. I can also fix up one of them trucks out in the loading dock. It’s big and can deal with traffic jams. It’s bad out there—I’ll fix up anything for you, but I won’t leave again. You all shouldn’t. You got everything here. Everything is dead out there, even with the zombs.”

             
“That’s okay, we won’t force anyone out.
Ashley, if no one wants to go—“
             

             
“I’ll go,” Jim said.

             
I stopped. I hadn’t expected that. “Jim—I need you here.” I didn’t like the idea of any of my people going out, especially Jim, and I was hoping that no o
ne but Ashley would volunteer.
             
“We w
on’t go forever, a short trip.”

             
“Yes,” said Annemarie, her tears were gone. “I would like to
check up on my folks in Coram.”

             
“Me too,” Jake said.

             
“We sealed off the loading dock,” I explained. I still didn’t feel this was a good idea, but it was the first time I’d seen my people perk up in days. “We have to be careful if we unseal it. It had a fence but I don’t know if it’s still there.”

             
“Do you really want to take a trip outside?” Dan asked. “I’ve been outside-- there is nothing. Not just zombies, but no one. Houses filled with bodies. Those alive stay indoors when they can.”

             
“You don’t want to go out there,” Sachi said. She looked at Jim and at Ashley. “It’s death out there.”

             
I agreed with Sachi.

             
“I know,” Jim said. “But I
want to see what’s happening.”
             

             
“Let’s discuss it downstairs,” I said.

             
I looked at the bodies. “Burn them.” I looked at the tent. “Burn them all.”

             
For two Vicodin pills, Princess came along with Tanya and Harlan to clear the loading dock. Annemarie decided she was well enough for rooftop shooting. The snow yesterday had been a fluke and little evidence of it remained on the ground. Today was chilly but the sun shone.

             
Robert and Dave spent the morning removing the wood put there to keep the zombies and the dregs out. Beyond the gate was a tall chain linked fenced yard where CostKing kept delivery trucks. For all we knew the fence was gone. Our plan required lifting the gate a little and using a mirror to see if the fence
was up.

             
I didn’t hear any sounds on the other side so I hoped for good news. If the fence was still up, Jake, Dave and Robert would begin work fortifying it. We didn’t have a lot of materials to use as barricades. We had broken pieces of furniture, palle
ts and shelves.

             
Robert finished prying the boards off. I was glad to have someone that strong. I had the key from the manager’s office. The doors opened automatically if with electricity, but could still be done manually. I handed the key to Harlan to unlock it.

             
“Stand back,” Harlan said, but the shooters didn’t. I took a small step back along with Jim, Dave, Robert and Henry.

             
Dave and Harlan lifted the door about a foot, enough for Tanya to get the large beauty mirror under. “The fence is up,” she said, she paused. “No, part of it is broke. But I don—“ Her words were cut short by one decaying hand under the door. Tanya moved fast, stepping on it, holding it down so it couldn’t get further 

             
“Open the door,” she screamed, “get ready to shoot.”

             
Robert and Harlan opened the door all the way. The hand that Tanya held was of a middle aged man with shredded pants and a tee-shirt that said
No Fat Chicks
. He couldn’t get to us because the loading dock was about three feet off the ground and he hadn’t figured out how to climb it and could only fit his decaying arm. Princess took care of him and another one in the yard before Harlan even got a shot in. The fence had a big hole in it but the rest was intact. 

             
“Get a board,” Dave said. Robert and Harlan nabbed the boards we used to fortify the door and unlike the zombie, they used the stairs next to the dock to get down. They began working on covering the hole. Three small trucks were in the lot. One looked good, the other had a flat and the last one had flats on all four.

             
For the first time in six months I was outside CostKing bathed by bright sunshine but still couldn’t feel any emotions. I still couldn’t let the memories in.

             
I wished I was going on the road trip, but I knew my place was here, as leader.

Chapter 7

             
“How’s it going?” I asked. Henry jumped, swung the wrench around and missed me by three feet.

             
“Jesus Jim, you wanna to get killed or something?”

             
I shook my head, even though the threat of being killed by Henry was minimal. I liked him well enough, a sweet, gentle and naive kid, but I didn’t understand how he survived. I looked over the truck he had been working on for the trip.
             

             
I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of being in charge, especially with Tanya and Dave coming along. I was never one for being a leader. I preferred doing background work.

             
The warm air and the early morning sun hit me. Spring had long since sprung. We were hoping to leave before it got hot. Jeff estimated the truck would be ready to roll in a week or less.

             
“Almost finished. I hope it doesn’t explode,” he said, pushing his long greasy brown hair out of his face.

             
I laughed, but stopped when I realized he wasn’t kidding. “You aren’t serious?”

             
Henry was the son of a mechanic who had learned things from his dad. He tried a few times and was finally successful in making a biodiesel engine. The hardest part was Ernie locating a converter kit which they didn’t have in the CostKing auto service station despite CostKing’s slogan
We have it all!
Henry fixed a car up for Ernie to take short trips and he managed to find one a month ago in an AutoZone.

             
He had spent most of that month trying to get the engine to work and finally successful a week ago. We won’t have to worry about gas, and instead could fill the tank with the vast amounts of canola oil available in Rachel’s aisle. I don’t know who needed a five gallon drum of it, but I’m glad to have it.

             
“I hope not,” he said. “I’ve never done this before. I read about it, and looked out for a cheap diesel car to experiment on. Luckily we had that book or you’d be sucking gas out of cars.” He motioned to the book,
The Renewable Energy Handbook
sitting on the worktable next to him.
It’s the same book Dave used to maintain the solar panels.
             

             
“Thank god for the green revolution.”

             
Henry snickered. “Bet things will get greener now there are less cars,” then he looked worried. “Not that’s how I wanted them to fix things, you know, maybe drive less, better gas mileage and shit.”

             
“No worries,” I said, walking away, still wondering how Henry survived. I headed to the back of the truck where Dave, Jake, Ashley,
and Robert worked inside. The outside of the truck still smelled of paint. We covered the CostKing logo, so people wouldn’t think it had supplies. Ashley decorated, while Dave, Jake and Robert put in some accessories including finishing up the small window they installed for ventilation and light. The truck had a netting unit which Dave had put four drums and five smaller bottles of canola into.

             
Most of us weren’t coming. Only six idiots, including myself decided to brave it. Tanya decided to go which surprised me. She had only been with us for three months and I figured she would want to stay behind. She said she was up for a hunt. I wasn’t so keen on hunting them, but I was glad to have her. After the incident with Mindy and Eli, she softened a bit. She turned out to be a decent shooter, hitting her targets a little better than Harlan. Not as good as Princess and I might miss that coldhearted bitch. She let me have it for leaving her to do her own make up. When she learned I was gay, she thought I was some kind of make up messiah so I told her I worked for Mac. What I didn’t tell her that it was Macintosh. I worked at the Apple store doing tech support. Doing her make up and hair allowed me some leeway if Rachel needed her help. Sachi helped as well. The woman had magic fingers and gave Princess a massage once a week but I could tell her sessions with Princess left her flustered. The rest of us peasants got one every other week. It was worth the wait.

             
I learned make up because I had three sisters and I wasn’t embarrassed about helping them get ready for dates. They were the most supportive when I came out to my parents, who didn’t take it well, but didn’t disown me. Two of my sisters still lived in Ohio where I’m from, the other lives in Seattle so I doubt I’ll ever find out what happened to them or my folks.

             
I think some people here believed gay meant a swinger with no attachments. Not even close to true. My husband Cameron and I were together for six years and he was my one great love. I don’t think I will ever be with anyone like I was with Cam. He went to work and I waited for him to come home but he never did. I decided to go looking for him but never got past Westbury.

             
I hoped Cameron was still alive; I don’t care if he’s found someone else or decided to become a fundamentalist Christian, as long as he was alive.