Endless (12 page)

“All right. Well, once you realized that
Michael was dreaming about you and Rafe, how did you feel?”

I considered for a moment. “I felt horribly
guilty again. And I realized that Michael was assuming some things
about my relationship with Rafe. So I guess in a way it was good,
because I could tell him that he was wrong about that.”

“Mm-hmm.” Aline nodded, her fingertips just
grazing her lips. “So that opened the door for some honest
discussion?”

“Yes. . .” I thought about it. “Well, I tried
to talk to Michael about it. But I think he doesn’t want to re-hash
it. He knows it’s over, and he doesn’t think we need to dissect the
whole thing.”

“That’s what he says, perhaps, but his
subconscious might be indicating something different,” Aline
pointed out. “Don’t worry about that right now. It’s something we
can re-visit later. But keep it in mind when you’re talking with
Michael. Let’s chat about what happened at Dr. Sorrel’s home and at
the Carruthers meeting.”

I shifted on the sofa, trying to tamp down
the turmoil. “Okay.”

“As I understand it, it was this same
girl—this Cathryn—who set you off both times. Is that right?”

“I guess so,” I answered. “At least she was
the tipping point. I was already tense both times, about being at
the party and then about everything I was hearing at Carruthers.
And I felt like my parents were paying more attention to what
Cathryn was saying than to my opinion. When Cathryn brought up
Rafe—yeah, the tipping point. More, because I knew she did it to
make me mad. She wanted me to show what I could do. I’m sure of
it.”

“So she forced you into an impromptu demo of
your abilities?”

I nodded. “I think so. Plus, she always tries
to get a rise out of me about Michael. And I fall for it every
time.”

Aline smiled. “Forewarned is forearmed, so
maybe if you stop and consider that now, it can make a difference
the next time she tries it. What do you think?”

“I guess. But you know how there are those
people who can annoy you just by breathing? That’s Cathryn. There’s
nothing really wrong with her, I don’t think. She just irritates
me.”

Aline laughed. “Yes, I get that. But try to
remember that you have something she doesn’t.”

“Michael?” I cocked my head.

“Exactly. So let’s try to hold onto that.
When you have to deal with Cathryn, try to focus instead on how
much Michael loves you. Don’t let in any of the insecurity. If you
do that, I think it might be easier to control your anger. . .and
the power that comes with it.”

“Okay, I’ll try it,” I agreed. “On a
different but related topic, do you know anything about Carruthers?
I thought you might, since Mrs. Brooks said that they had
approached some King families.”

“They never talked to me, but yes, I’ve heard
of them. You know what the grapevine in King is like. I don’t
remember who it was they tried to recruit, but I remember it
happening.” Aline knitted her brows together. “I think I agree with
Caroline. I would tread cautiously. I understand why your parents
find the organization attractive. They think Carruthers can help
you control your abilities, and right now, that’s very important to
your mom and dad.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” I said. “It was
kind of strange, though, how enthusiastic they were.”

“And why did you decide to go along with
them?” Aline’s eyes were compassionate. I dropped my head onto the
back of the couch and sighed.

“Oh, I know. I know it was the guilt over
last spring. I want to do something to make them trust me, to make
them proud again. So I’ll go along with this, and who knows—maybe
it will help me control my powers. Maybe I won’t shake the walls or
throw glass or bring on a windstorm whenever I get a little
shaken.”

Aline regarded me without speaking for
several beats. “Tasmyn, we’ve talked a little about your powers and
how Marica helped you develop them. Do you remember what I
said?”

I frowned, trying to remember. “You said she
exploited my emotions to intensify the abilities.”

“Right. She tied your feelings to your
growing powers, and those cords are still there. You can’t just cut
them. You have these gifts. They aren’t returnable, Tasmyn. You
can’t make them go away. You need to master them, but it’s not
going to be as easy as your parents might think.”

I threw up my hands. “So are you saying that
Carruthers won’t be able to help me? I’m a lost cause?”

“Never.” Aline shook her head emphatically.
“No, you can do it. But don’t expect it to be simple, and don’t
think it’s going to happen overnight. As far as Carruthers, just
try to be very careful. Be aware of each decision. Don’t make any
choices impulsively.”

Aline rarely expressed that much opinion, so
I understood that she was very serious about this. I smiled in
agreement.

“I promise.”

“All right then.” She glanced at the clock.
“Well, I think that’s good for today, don’t you?”

We both rose, but as she opened the door, I
heard a buzzing across the room and saw her cell phone dancing
across the table.

“Tasmyn, I need to take this. Can you go out
to reception and wait for me?” I nodded and closed the door behind
me.

I wandered down the hallway and was startled
to see a man in one of the waiting room chairs. He was taller than
me, with longish wavy light brown hair. He looked vaguely
familiar.

“Hi,” he greeted me, laying down the magazine
that he’d been flipping thorugh.

I nodded in return and stood awkwardly for a
moment. Aline usually made me her last appointment of the day, so I
was surprised that this guy seemed to think he belonged here. I
probed gently into his mind and came up with the answer.

“Aline had to take a phone call,” I offered.
“She should be here in a minute.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” He stood and offered me a
hand. “I’m Seth Phillips. A friend of Aline’s.”

I concentrated on not raising my eyebrows and
smirking at him. From what I’d picked up, he was a little more than
her friend.

“I’m Tasmyn,” I answered, shaking his hand.
“I’m a patient.”

Seth grinned. “Yeah, I figured.” He cocked
his head, studying me. “Hey, do you go to Perriman by any chance? I
feel like I’ve seen you.”

I smiled. Aline took her patient
confidentiality seriously; Seth really had no idea who I was. I
hadn’t picked up even the slightest blip in his mind, and I’d been
listening.

“Yes, I’m a freshman,” I answered. “Do you
work there?”

He stuck a thumb at his chest. “History
professor.”

I smiled, an involuntary reflex. “That’s my
major! Or at least I hope it will be. It’s my favorite
subject.”

Seth leaned back, sticking his hands in his
back pockets. “Yeah? We’ve got a great department at Perriman. Are
you taking the 101 now?”

I shook my head. “I tested out of them, so
I’m doing a junior level course this semester. The
Reformation.”

Seth pursed his lips in a silent whistle.
“Impressive. Well, listen, when you’re ready to declare, come see
me. I’m a pretty decent advisor.” He fished a card out of his
pocket and handed it to me.

I glanced down at it and frowned. “You said
you were history. This says student ministries.”

“Oh, sorry.” He dug into the other pocket and
pulled out another card, glanced at it and passed it over. This one
had his number at the history department. “I’m in the history
department, but I double majored in religious studies and then went
to seminary while I was a TA. I lead a group on campus.”

I remembered now why he seemed familiar, and
it wasn’t his face—it was his mind. “Do you have Bible study on the
green on Saturdays? I was there with my parents last weekend and I
think I heard you—I mean, saw you.”

“Yeah, that was us. Good group of kids.” A
door opened and closed behind me, and Aline came down the hall,
heels clicking. Her smile encompassed us both.

“Seth, hello. I’m sorry I was held up.” She
held his eye for a moment longer and then turned to me. “Tasmyn,
are we set for Friday in two weeks, same time? And you’ll call me
if anything comes up before that?”

I nodded. These were Aline’s typical parting
words, meant, I knew, to remind me that I was not alone and that I
should not be afraid to reach out for help. Her mind was veiled to
me as it always was, but I was picking up little spikes in her
feelings. She didn’t want to rush me out the door, but she was
anxious to be alone with Seth. I didn’t blame her.

“Sure, see you then.” I turned to leave and
then realize I still had both of Seth’s cards in my hand. I stopped
and held it out to him. “Sorry. I don’t need this one.”

He made no move to accept it. “Hey, hold onto
it. You never know.”

After the stress of the previous weekend with
my parents, I was looking forward to spending a quiet few days with
Michael. We drove off campus to see a movie on Friday night after
my appointment with Aline, and as we pulled back to the parking lot
alongside my dorm, I was blissfully relaxed, snuggled into my
familiar groove in the passenger seat of the Mustang.

Michael turned off the car and reached to
tousle my hair affectionately. “Hey, there, sleepyhead. Am I going
to have to carry you upstairs?”

“Mmmm,” I answered. “Maybe.” I twisted my
head to smile up at him. “You could take me back to your room and
carry me upstairs. Because then there could be a reward for the
big, strong man who took such good care of me.”

He laughed but shook his head. “Not tonight,
princess. Not only is Charlie there, but he invited the whole
soccer team over to party. So no privacy for us.”

I made a face. “I thought he was an athlete.
Shouldn’t he be in training or something?”

“They’re celebrating a very rare weekend off,
I guess. I’m planning to lock the door to my bedroom and hope they
don’t get too wild.”

“And I’m going to go upstairs and try to tune
out Sophie while she studies. We’re just a bundle of fun, aren’t
we?”

Michael fingered a lock of my hair. “Sophie
still thinking loudly when she does homework?”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, yeah. Too bad we don’t
take the same classes, because I wouldn’t have to crack a book if
we did. I could just soak up what she’s thinking and be ready for
anything. For someone who’s so quiet in real life, she more than
makes up for it in her thoughts.”

“A shame we can’t talk her into joining the
soccer players’ party. Then we’d have your room to ourselves.”

I laughed at the idea of my quiet and serious
roommate partying with Charlie and his raucous friends. “Highly
unlikely.”

“Well, then. . .” Michael reached for the
door handle. “I’ll walk you upstairs. We’ll have all day
tomorrow.”

“Wait a second.” I touched his arm. “Kiss me
goodnight here. You won’t be able to do it justice in front of
Sophie or in the hallway.”

Michael raised one eyebrow. “Oh, really?” He
reached out to caress my face. “I guess you’re right. I’ll have to
try to live up to your goodnight kiss standards down here.”

I giggled, feeling his playful indignation as
he pulled me onto his lap, trapping me between him and the steering
wheel.

“I have very high standards,” I whispered,
leaning into his ear. “Very high.”

I felt Michael’s smile against my neck as his
lips skimmed my throat and then traveled to return my whisper. “I
do aim to please.”

I shivered and wound my arms around his back,
shifting so that I straddled both him and the seat. Michael ran his
hands along my sides, up my back and beneath my hair, firmly
holding me in place as his mouth plundered mine.

I leaned in as close as I could get,
desperate to touch him everywhere at once. I felt Michael’s
thoughts and feelings tumbling over me like a waterfall—a sweep of
liquid heat that drove away all rationality.

He groaned and slid his hands down my back
and under my t-shirt. The warmth of his fingers against my bare
skin ratcheted everything up another degree. I tore my mouth from
his and attacked his neck, moving my lips to the pulse that pounded
just above his collarbone.

Michael’s hands were playing against my back
now, and his fingers glided under my bra straps, just toying with
them. I felt the faintest bits of his indecision as I made my way
back up his throat and covered his mouth again.

The surge of desire that tore from him when
our lips met screamed to something deep and primal within me. And
before I knew it, the power, pure, unbridled and sweet, rose out of
me and erupted.

Michael grunted in surprise and jerked away,
still breathing heavily. I was dizzy and clung to his shoulders,
trying not to sway.

I heard a shout from outside the car, down
the sidewalk. My eyes refocused on one of the sabal palms that
lined the walk from the parking lot to the front of my dorm. I
couldn’t miss it; it was on fire, flames crackling merrily from the
base and up to the fronds.