Endless Fear (38 page)

“
Come in.”

Spencer entered April’s bedroom.

Propped against the pillows with the covers tucked beneath her arms, April sat in the center of the bed, looking like a battered angel.

Spencer’s throat tightened.

Her right eye was bruised and slightly swollen, and scrapes and scratches marred her normally smooth chin and forehead. Ugly reminders of an ugly ordeal.

Saying a silent prayer of thanks that her life had been spared, he closed the door and moved toward her. Never had he felt more guarded. His future rested in this woman’s hands, in the disposition of her heart. “Hi.”

“
Hi.” April couldn’t recall having ever been more aware of another person’s mood than she was of Spencer’s at this moment. Something was dreadfully wrong. Self-consciously, her hand went to her face. “Guess no one would mistake me for Lily Cordell right now.”

She’d made it sound like a casual observation, but April was shaking inside. Before he’d arrived, she’d convinced herself her resemblance to her mother would no longer be a reminder to him of a murder neither of them had committed nor could have prevented. But the discomfort she sensed from him suggested otherwise.

The bedsprings twanged as he sank to an area near her thigh. Distractedly, Spencer watched her golden hair spill across the ruffled collar of her yellow flannel nightgown. She was a ray of sunshine piercing his bleak outlook. Unbidden, his fingers reached to fondle the shiny tresses, but catching himself, he pulled back and dropped his hand to his leg.

The only thing he dare allow to touch her was his gentle gaze. “After all you’ve been through, I can’t believe you’re still hung up about looking like your mother. Take it from a twin. Sharing similar features with someone doesn’t make you alike in any other way, and anyone who can’t differentiate doesn’t deserve your attention.”

“
As blunt as always, I see.” The tautness in her chest eased enough to pull a smile from her. If her resemblance to Lily wasn’t bothering him, then what was? “It’s nice to know some things don’t change.”

“
But others do.”

His voice held such resignation, April’s hope sagged beneath its weight. A lifetime had passed in the last few hours. It was naïve of her not to realize he’d been affected as sharply as she had. High drama wrought changes in people, put priorities in order, and revealed unexpected truths. Her heart thudded precariously. Had Spencer discovered he no longer loved her as he had at eighteen? That the intimacies they’d shared since she’d come to Calendar House had been nothing more than a halfhearted attempt to recapture their stolen youth?

He was searching her face.
Searching for a way to tell her?
The thought tore at April, but she’d learned she couldn’t run away from reality and survive. “Spence, I —”

“
It’s Karl, isn’t it?”

“
K…Karl?” she sputtered, confused. “Has something happened to him?”

“
No,” he answered curtly. If she’d rammed a spear through the center of his chest, it couldn’t have hurt Spencer more than the obvious concern for Karl he could see growing in her round aqua eyes. Well, at least now he knew where he stood with her. “Karl went to Friday Harbor with his mother.”

April stiffened and dropped her gaze to her entwined fingers, wrestling to control the anger which arose at every mention of Helga. Although a part of her understood and pitied the woman, she imagined her body would heal before her mind supplied the insulating layers that would eventually distance her enough from the raw pain of the ordeal to put it into perspective. Right now, she couldn’t bear to think of Helga, much less discuss her.

A new awkwardness hovered between them, and Spencer thought about leaving, but couldn’t pull himself away. Despite her wounds, she was impossibly more beautiful than before the hell she’d been through. God, how he yearned to crush her to him and declare his feelings, but he knew now that it was not what she wanted. “Are you in much pain?”

“
Nothing a few days and lots of Tylenol won’t cure.”
And another hundred years to get over loving y
ou, she added to herself, trying unsuccessfully to tear her gaze from his sensuous mouth. Longing swirled through her. “I suppose none of this can be kept from the press?”

“
Not a chance. One zealous individual showed up today to find out why the engagement party was cancelled. The little weasel arrived as the Sheriff and his deputy were leaving with Helga.”

“
Oh, no.” Lily’s death would be fodder for every trashy and legitimate news source around the world. Her last hope of claiming Spencer’s love slipped away. It was so unfair. Now that her memory had returned, everything she had ever desired could be hers for the asking.

Everything but this man.

He’d made it abundantly clear how he felt about this sort of publicity, and a man in public life could ill afford a wife who had a history of years spent in a sanitarium. There would always be another ‘little weasel’ to ferret out the story to use against him in one election after another. “I’m sorry.”

The misery in her voice went straight to his heart, and instinctively, he covered her hands with his. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”

April stared at the hands covering hers, intoxicated by the sudden tingles coursing up her arm. Sweetheart? A brotherly endearment? It didn’t feel brotherly.
Don’t read something into this
, she warned herself. “Aren’t you concerned about next November’s elections?”

“
Not really.” Recklessly, he slid his hands across the cuff of her fleecy nightie, up the length of her arms to her shoulders. “I imagine the sensationalism of Lily Cordell being murdered will grab headlines for a few days, but then it should fade into obscurity…at long last.”

“
Until the trial.” April tilted her head and closed her eyes, savoring the delicious feel of his warm hands. A small moan slipped between her parted lips. “Won’t that hurt your chances of becoming mayor and Thane’s of being elected State Representative?”

“
Don’t worry about Thane.” His voice rasped with desire, and, too late, Spencer realized his mistake in touching her. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop caressing her arms, her hands, couldn’t squelch the ache he felt to kiss her sweet mouth. “No one outside the family will ever learn of the affair with Lily. And knowing my brother’s luck and charm, all the hoopla will work to his advantage.”

April’s breath quickened. “But will the citizens of Bellingham want a mayor with such a checkered background?”

“
If they do, they’ll have to look elsewhere. I’ve withdrawn my bid for mayor.”

A soft gasp escaped her. “Why?”

“
Because I’m sick and tired of smiling at people until my face hurts in order to get votes. I don’t want to do that for the rest of my life.” Spencer’s pulse raced as he brashly lifted a hand to her temple and gently traced the curve of her cheek. “And thanks to you I’m not going to.”

“
I don’t understand.” Like a cat being stroked by its master, she stretched her face toward his petting hand. “What did I do?”

“
These past weeks you’ve made me realize I’d been stumbling through my life—not living it.” Incautiously, he’d massaged the sides of her neck with his thumbs.

The effect on April was dizzying. “What career are you planning to pursue?”

“
Something better suited to my ‘blunt honesty’ as you call it. I’m going to dust off my law degree and look at my options. I’d like to be a prosecutor.”

April couldn’t believe what she was hearing. All the obstacles to their having a future together were gone, and yet he hadn’t said a word about wanting her in his life. “You’d make a good prosecutor.”

“
Do you really think so?”

“
Yes.” She brushed a strand of his coffee-brown hair from his forehead, knowing she would miss this man more than she could bear. Something in his intense gray eyes froze the thought. She’d been blind not to see it. Desire, a trace of fear, and… Yes! Her heart reeled. Spencer loved her. She nearly laughed with joy.

April caught his face gently in both hands and lifted her mouth to his. A startled moan escaped him, but he leaned into the kiss, obviously enjoying her tender assault. Passion stirred deep inside April.

Too soon, Spencer broke the heady spell, gripping her by both of her upper arms and holding her just far enough away to ask, “What about Karl?”

“
Karl? What has Karl got to do with us?”

“
I thought… He said…”

“
If you can’t judge a person better than this, how do you expect to be a good prosecutor?” Freeing one hand, she traced his mouth with her fingertip. “I love you, Spence.”

A heartfelt sigh broke from his grinning lips and he gathered her into his arms, hugging her so possessively, April could barely breath. She didn’t care.

“
April, do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?”

“
As long as I’ve waited to say it.”

“
Oh, God, I love you.” Starting at her chin, he began kissing every curve and valley of her face with a slow, mind-boggling thoroughness. He had almost lost her twice already. Never again. “We are going to make this legal, aren’t we?”

April felt as though her heart would explode with happiness. “Absolutely counselor,” she answered, sliding her arms around his neck, and pulling his lips back to hers.

One again Spencer pulled away. “Before Thane and Vanessa—as soon as possible?”

“
Uh huh.” Her voice was as thick as the desire coursing in her veins.

Their open mouths welded in abandon, tongues touching, tasting, savoring. His hands drew sensuous paths across her back, her waist, her breasts, stirring a honeyed torture inside her that begged to be fulfilled. She tugged his shirttails free and began undoing the buttons.

Again Spencer pulled away. “This isn’t right… You aren’t ready… Someone might come in…” His objections seemed ridiculous in light of the desire glazing his eyes. “We should wait—”

“
Wait? Wait!” April caught him by the shirtfront and drew him so close his heated breath mingled with her own.

“
First you had to wait for me to grow up.”

Loosening the remaining buttons, she slipped the shirt from his shoulders and down his arms. “Then you had to wait for me to get well.”

She rubbed her hands across his lightly haired chest and down his flat stomach. He groaned in obvious pleasure. “Well, I’m all well…and in case you hadn’t noticed—”

She reached for the waist band of his trousers and tipped her mouth to his. “—All grown up.”

“
I noticed—” His voice was ragged as he gave the blankets separating them an impatient tug.

“
I’ve waited a lifetime for you.” April scooted lower on the pillows and opened her arms to him. “And I’m not willing to wait another minute.”

A wicked smile lifted the corner of Spencer’s mouth. “In that case—I’ve better manners than to keep a lady waiting.”

# # # #

To my readers

My stories are pure escapism, meant for the entertainment of my readers.  Thank you for purchasing and reading my books.  You are the reason I write. ~ Adrianne Lee

About the Author

I love mysteries and romance and hotrod cars. I write on a laptop, in my recliner with our adopted cat, Spooky, asleep on my lower legs. Spooky is an affectionate, black fur-ball with yellow eyes, and though her name reflects her coloring, it was chosen for the fact that everything spooks her. It’s a good thing she can’t read my stories.

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