Endless Magic (49 page)

She paused in her story, thinking back on the night, and grew shy. “So did he ever talk to you that night?” I prompted, wanting the rest of the story.

“Yes, he did. After he finished with my parents, who apparently gave him their blessing…. He came out and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk,” She went on.

“And you trusted him?” I pressed, wondering if she was as skeptical of Talbott as I was of Kiran until I found out he joined the Resistance.

“Well, yeah, I trusted him. I mean, he joined the Resistance right after Kiran and I had been working with him for weeks. Plus, he had just broken my dad out of prison and delivered him to me, so I didn’t see any need to worry,” she explained patiently to me.

“I guess those are good reasons to trust someone,” I laughed.

“Exactly! So, we went for a walk, or really, more like a hike, since he was so nervous he had me literally climbing mountains so he could stall! But then he had me climb peak, where we sat down and admired the stars and the moon and finally he opened his mouth. He started with apology after apology…. I felt awful for him. I mean, there were things that obviously sent up red flags in our past, like when he planned to testify against me at my trial, and when he attacked the farm…. But then a lot of our past was him trying to protect me too. But during his apology he told me that when he first came to Kingsley, Amory had talked to him and reminded him that he had sworn to protect Kiran and that was his first obligation. Talbott said he thought it was a little strange the first time, because Talbott obviously remembered, but then Amory kept reminding him. And right before the night I was taken, Amory had spoken to Talbott again and made him swear to protect Kiran first and foremost before anything else. I always expected that though, I mean from day one, I never believed anything could happen between Talbott and me. His devotion is to the monarchy and with the blood oath and all, I just knew it could never be. I don’t know…. But then he spent all that time with me when I was trapped, and then he joined the Resistance and I started to hope…. Anyway, he apologized for all of that and I forgave him and then…. Then he kissed me!” she squealed her ending, and pressed a pillow against her face to hide her excitement.

I made a screaming sound too, mimicking her happiness. “And let me guess,” I finished for her playfully, “after a sufficient two to three-hour make-out session, he declared his undying love for you, proposed, you were married in secret, and now you’re expecting triplets!”

She gave me a rueful glance, “Well, he did declare his undying love for me….”

I made the screaming sound again and we burst into laughter. I was so happy for my friend, so utterly proud of the progress that had been made, even if Talbott and Lilly were the only couple so far freed from the oppression of our laws. And they weren’t free right now…. But they would be soon.

“Your turn,” Lilly smiled in the most sadistic way I had ever seen her. She waggled her eyebrows and I gulped, not wanting to confess any of my selfish, fickle feelings. I was a traitor to my own heart, to my cause and to my family.

I sidestepped her direct command by asking another question, “Um, Lilly?” I was suddenly still, shy…. afraid. “How did you, I mean, I know he asked you to and all, but how did you ever bring yourself to forgive Talbott? Please don’t think I’m trying to be rude, but he left you to die on that witness stand, he hated your kind up until a year ago and he was part of the attacking force that killed Amory…. I mean, how did you find it in your heart to forgive him?” I looked down at my hands, too ashamed to meet Lilly’s eyes.

“The awful thing is, I’m not even crying over him!” I let the ugly, honest words fall out of my mouth; I couldn’t hide my wretchedness from Lilly. I had to tell
somebody
! “I mean, I was upset when he broke up with me, and like, I had no idea that he was going to…. It’s not like we had problems or didn’t get along or anything. We loved each other…. Well, I mean, we had problems, but nothing that dealt with our relationship, other than you know, I was held prisoner in a castle and engaged to another man, but just normal stuff like that,” I joked through a barrage of new tears. “But now I don’t know what we had…. I don’t know which parts were real! What’s wrong with me, Lilly? Why doesn’t he want to be with me?” I demanded, hoping she would let the awful truth spill, that she would just come straight forward with my detestable faults so I could figure it out, so it would make sense to me.

“Did he say he was breaking up with you because of something you did?” Lilly asked, already knowing the answer.

“Well, no,” I admitted reluctantly, “he just said we had different stories…. That he deserved better than our relationship because we were never meant to be together.”

“And do you believe him?”

“I didn’t at first. I mean, I thought I walked away from Kiran forever, turned my back on him totally and moved on. I believed that Jericho was it for me. Like the one. I thought we would struggle through all this crap; eventually we would take over the kingdom and be together…. I fell in love with him and assumed he would be my happily ever after…. But then he broke up with me and not even four hours later, I was making out with Kiran on the couch, and I forgot about Jericho altogether,” My face flamed a deep crimson when Lilly’s eyes popped out of her head and her mouth dropped open.

“You did what?” she gasped.

“I made out with Kiran….” I repeated in a shameful voice. “But it’s not like we just jumped on top of each as soon as we were alone! It was like this whole thing where we got into a fight and then I started to figure out he was in the Resistance, but he wouldn’t tell me anything and so I did this like, Complete-Mind-Manipulation thing. Then I found out how he really felt about me, and our emotions were all mixed up, so…. So that’s when I kind of jumped on him.” My hands flew to my face to cover my disgrace, and I shook my head furiously, trying to forget the way my blood flared at the memory of Kiran’s lips against mine.

“You did what?” Lilly gulped with more force and definitely more shock.

“I’m a terrible person,” I mumbled into my hands.

“Eden,” Lilly comforted soothingly, “I know Jericho was there for you after everything happened, but did you ever feel what you felt with Kiran with Jericho?” She smiled at her confusing way of questioning and clarified, “I mean, with Kiran you were literally ready to sacrifice everything to be with him. When you two were together, it was like you were part of your own world…. I don’t know, it’s a love I have never witnessed before. Was it like that with Jericho?”

“No,” I confessed and for the first time in a long time I felt the truth resonate in my ears, a soul-lifting word that freed me from self-imposed, invisible bondage. “No, it was safe, and honest, but not like Kiran…. nothing like Kiran…. I mean I trusted, I still trust Jericho, with every piece of me, but our love was…. comfortable. And Kiran is…. dangerous. In more ways than one, but it’s like when I loved Kiran I was risking something, and not just my life, but my soul. I took Jericho’s love and made it my own, but I offered Kiran my heart and then fell into the tornado of his love. Everything about being in love with Kiran was exciting and thrilling. His love was an adventure. I mean, not just our lives, but the feelings I had for him were…. all-consuming.”

“But you don’t feel that way now?” Lilly had never been more careful with me in her life and I felt her reserve, her fear in hurting me.

“How could I? Look at what he’s done to my life? How could I love him?” I questioned her, demanding the answers that I wanted to know so desperately.

“I don’t know, Eden…. You’re the only one that can decide that,” she said sadly, “But I do know that when Talbott apologized to me, there was nothing in our past that could have kept me from him. Like you said, he offered me his heart and I knew without a doubt that a future with Talbott was worth whatever heartache we went through in the past. I love him despite all odds, but in a confident way that won’t let me question his motives or waver in my trust for him. He hurt me, yes, but I don’t think any kind of love is without some kind of hurt along the way. It’s how we get to know each other better, how we decide what’s for real…. what’s the eternal stuff, what is going to push us closer together and seal the bond between us. My past doesn’t matter anymore, because Talbott is my future.”

She was glowing by the time she finished. The confidence she proclaimed she had in Talbott sparkled in her expression and pulsed through her magic. I fell silent, taking her words to heart and genuinely wondering if I would ever believe they could be true for me.

Over his tiramisu, he looked at me again with his turquoise, piercing eyes. I averted my gaze up, then over, then to Bianca who looked radiant in a long-sleeved gold cocktail dress that matched the color of her long hair. She smiled across the table, so my eyes kept moving.

Everyone seemed to be watching us, watching me. The dining room table, full of talkative guests of the king, stretched across the formal dining room in decadent elegance. I sighed, realizing what this was.

A trophy case.

Lucan knew what would happen at the hunting lodge. He knew his son. The funny thing was that Kiran never planned to take me there; Fate had intervened and given Lucan the advantage. And now he stocked his dinner table with friends and enemies in order to show me off. He ruled the kingdom, had taken Amory’s magic, and now possessed me.

Thoughts of Lucan’s arrogance and vile existence sent shivers throughout my body, turning my electrified blood cold. I found his eyes, the one pair I didn’t shy away from, the one pair I could swallow my social-awkwardness and meet with purpose. He wasn’t looking at me, he was deep in conversation with some mystery dignitary, but victory spread across his face in a confident smile and twinkling eyes. His magic, which usually suffocated rooms and weighed heavily on us all, seemed to float lightly through the air and swirl in happy gusts of strong energy.

I set my dessert down, suddenly sickened. Soon, Lucan. Soon, I would wipe the arrogance from your face and save these people that pretend out of fear to be devoted to you. Kiran’s fingers tracing over my collarbone abruptly pulled me from my musing. When I glanced up, I saw the watchful eyes of the rest of the guests and realized the hatred narrowing my eyes and paling my face might confuse them when they followed my gaze.

“Sorry,” I sighed, leaning into Kiran familiarly, hoping to reassure the guests. I wouldn’t be responsible for Lucan’s punishment if he caught on.

“For what?” He whispered, his lips touching the top of my ear. Maybe I wasn’t as transparent as I felt.

“Uh, for canceling your dinner plans last night,” I recovered and then wanted to smack myself in the forehead. Meanwhile, his magic pulled mine into intimate connection, and his closeness sent my stomach fluttering with butterflies.

I felt him laugh gently next to me. He didn’t believe me. When did he get to know me so well? I still felt like he was one giant mystery….

I smoothed out my black cocktail dress on my lap. I dressed simply tonight, tired of the gowns and galas. The dress clung to me in ways that revealed curves no seventeen year old should rightfully have. I didn’t realize how sexy it could be until after I put it on. I chose it for its high collar and capped sleeves, feeling like they would be more modest than usual, but the dressed gathered from both sides to a middle seam and created the illusion of curves, I didn’t normally possess. And it was short. So maybe I had been crazy when I thought the dress would be modest.

“I’m glad you did, actually,” Kiran surprised me with his answer. He looked especially gorgeous tonight in a shiny blue suit jacket and matching impeccably tailored pants. I wanted to make fun of him for dressing so overtly trendy at first, but his look was edgy, sexy…. I couldn’t stop looking at him. And underneath the jacket, a crisp white dress shirt opened at the collar, revealing his neck. I had never, not once before tonight, looked at a man’s throat and lusted.

Not once before tonight….

And then he knocked on my door to escort me to dinner; and my eyes fell on the hollow place of his throat and I had to hold myself back from…. from I don’t even know what. But it involved a lot of kissing and maybe some ripping off of his clothes, possibly buttons flying off and more than likely would end with me throwing him down onto the king-sized bed that would one day be ours.

“I said, I’m glad you canceled last night, it gave me some time to think,” I didn’t have anything sarcastic to say, so he continued, “I hated you with Jericho. I loathed every minute of it….” he smiled darkly at me and I wanted to argue with him, but we were in the middle of a room full of people that expected me to adore him. I stayed silent. “And in my daydreams, I pictured you realizing your intense, if not…. consuming feelings for me, telling Jericho he could go to hell, and then running directly into my arms. I may have been, uh, misguided.” He smiled bashfully, and his cheekbones reddened in embarrassment.

“No, not misguided,” I soothed mockingly, “completely delusional.” I flashed him a wicked grin, and he narrowed his eyes at me briefly.

“Despite my
delusional
preconceptions of your breakup, what happened after…. what happened at the lodge propelled this idea further.” It was my turn to blush shamefully. “After we separated yesterday I took some time to reflect. As painful, no, as hateful as it is for me to admit this, you might have actually had feelings for Jericho after all. And it is unfair for you, as well as me, to ask you to forgo your grieving period.”