Endless Obsession (42 page)

“There was no sign of him?” Tony asks, bringing me back to the moment.

Asher’s body goes rock solid and he growls out, “No. He was already gone by the time Rex made it into the house.”

“Oh, Poppy,” Liv says tearfully. “To think how close you were to something happening to you. I would never forgive myself if you were hurt. We left—”

“Stop!” I say firmly, squeezing her hand. “Don’t you dare take blame for this. Not one of us here knew something like this would happen. We all thought it impossible for him to get into the house. We had three guys watching it, for goodness’ sake.”

She nods, but I still see the doubt in her eyes.

“No offense to either of you, but Poppy will be coming home with me.” I stiffen, but either Asher doesn’t notice or he doesn’t care, because he continues like he didn’t feel it. “I know neither of you would let anything happen to her, but I’d feel safer if she were with me.”

When I pull away, Asher snags my waist to pull me back, and I glare up at him. From his hard eyes, he’s not backing down. They soften fractionally.

“Not tonight,” he says quietly. “Tonight you need to rest. We’ll talk about it later.”

I keep my glare on him, but give him a curt nod. We’ll definitely be talking about it later. He’s dictated my life for long enough without my knowledge. He certainly isn’t going to start doing it again
with
my knowledge.

We stand outside for another hour, talking about the events and what can be done, until one of the cops comes over to tell us they’re wrapping things up and we can move back inside. He said they’d be in contact tomorrow about what will happen next. My eyes feel like they have ten ton weights on them, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to sleep again. I stumble as we cross the street and Asher scoops me up into his arms. I’m so exhausted that I don’t even protest. I see Liv looking at us with a small smile on her face, but I ignore her. We pass by several cops that are still trickling out of the house.

Once we’re inside, Asher follows Liv and Tony into the kitchen. Tony goes straight to the cabinet that’s beside the fridge, opens it, and pulls out a bottle with dark liquid. He sets four shot glasses on the counter beside the bottle. After filling all four, he slides them to each of us. I’m sitting on a stool with Asher glued to my side. I shake my head and try to push the glass away.

“Drink it,” Asher grunts. “It’ll help you sleep tonight.”

When I still refuse, he leans down so his face is in mine. “Please, Beautiful. You need to sleep tonight, and I doubt you’ll get any without help.”

The worried expression is what has me reaching for the glass. I sputter and cough as the liquid burns going down my throat. I slam it down on the counter and Tony refills our glasses again. I drink that one too, but hold my hand over the glass when he tries to refill it for a third time.

“I’m going to go take a shower and go to bed,” I tell the group. Asher steps back, allowing me to climb off the stool.

Liv comes to my side. “Are you okay?”

I smile the best I can. “I will be.”

I turn to Asher, not sure how to act around him now. I roll to my toes and kiss his cheek. My lips linger as I breathe in his unique scent that I miss so much. It’s different from when he was Sterling, but I love it just the same.

His hands land on my hips, his fingers digging in like he doesn’t want to let me go. When I pull back, there’s an underlying pain in his eyes. It brings the never-ending tears to my eyes, but I push them back. I’ve cried enough this evening.

Neither of us say anything as he leans his forehead against mine, before very gently laying a soft kiss against my lips.

I feel his eyes on me as I walk away. I have no idea what’s going to happen from here on out. I know down to my bones that I love Asher. I want him like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. I just wonder if I can find it in me to forgive him.

A small voice in my head says,
You already have.

My head is bent to the side as I dry my hair. When I walk into my room, I come to a stop. Asher’s lying back against the headboard on my bed with the covers to his waist, his chest gloriously bare. Tingles form all over my body before they settle between my legs. Seeing him lying there, so relaxed in my bed brings erotic memories to mind. Memories I don’t want to remember right now, but they force their way in regardless.

He saw me enter and his own eyes devour me as I stand in the doorway. My whole body flushes under his perusal. His gaze follows the red that starts in my toes and works its way up to my face. His eyes leave no part of my body out. My pussy starts to weep, and I squeeze my legs together to try to relieve the ache forming. I don’t want to react to his blatant staring, but I can’t stop it. He’s trapped me with no way out. He owns my body.

Finally finding my voice, I ask, the words coming out more husky than I’d like, “What are you doing here?”

The tattoos on his arms and chest ripple as he shifts on the bed. He leans forward and pats the covers by his hips. “Come, sit.”

I shake my head. I can’t be near him right now. I’m not sure I would be able to control myself if I’m close to him. He looks too good lying there. And the comfort I know he can give me will be too irresistible.

“Poppy,” he coaxes. “Come sit by me. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

Still, I shake my head, but I feel my resolve wavering. “No,” I croak.

He tips his head to the side. “Why?”

“Because.” Yes, that was my answer. That’s all I’ve got at the moment. I won’t tell him that he’s tempting me too much.

His lips quirk and he gets up from the bed. My feet carry me back a couple feet as he walks toward me. No, he
swaggers
toward me. My eyes rake down his body, and I find I’m both grateful and regretful that he’s still wearing his boxer briefs.

I forgot my clothes in my room when I took a shower, so I’m wearing Liv’s silk robe she left on the back of the door. My nipples tighten and strain against the cool material. He notices and moves his eyes to them.

“No!” I say loudly, holding my hand up to ward off his forward movements. He snaps his eyes up and stops just a few feet from me. “Tell me why you’re still here.”

“I’m not leaving you again. I know I said I’d give you time, and I still will if you want it, but it’ll be in my presence.”

I take a deep breath and blow it out. I drop my hand that’s still holding the damp towel.

“I’ll be safe here, Asher. After tonight, I know Liv won’t let Tony leave my side again. He won’t get to me; I can promise you.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t take that chance. You mean too much to me.”

“Asher—”

I stop when he moves so fast I fear whiplash. One minute he’s feet from me, the next he’s right in front of me. What he says next rocks me to my core.

“I’m sick.”

“What?” I whisper. My heart doesn’t just drop from to my feet, it plummets and cracks wide open.

He’s sick? What does that mean? Please, God, don’t let…

“I’m sick. Or rather, I was. Kidney disease. That’s why I couldn’t come to you sooner.”

All I can do is stare at him. My mouth goes dry. Kidney disease? That’s dangerous, right? People die from that every day. My knees go weak. I reach out at the same time Asher wraps his arms around my waist.

“What?” I repeat. “How? When? I don’t understand.”

I pull back slightly and look up at him. He doesn’t look sick. He looks healthy.

“Remember when I would disappear from work for days and weeks at a time?” he asks.

I drop my head as I think back to all the times he was gone. Sometimes it would be days, sometimes a couple weeks. Once he was gone for a whole month. And every time he came back, he looked tired and worn down. He’d had circles under his eyes and his face looked gaunt, like he wasn’t sleeping. I thought it was from working too hard. Each time he was gone, he’d call every day with instructions on what he needed me to do. Even on the phone he sounded tired. Remembering back, when I first started working for him, even then he looked exhausted. Still sexy as hell, but exhausted. Never once did I suspect he was sick.

“Dialysis and treatments. The time I was gone for a month, I had surgery. The doctors were hopeful that they could get my kidneys working properly through dialysis, but there were complications. My blood pressure spiked too high for dialysis and it wasn’t working anyway. My only choice was a kidney transplant.”

My eyes snap down to his stomach. It’s hard to notice because of his ink, but it’s there. A scar about a half foot long. I briefly noticed it the times we had sex. I was curious, but never got the chance to question him on it. I look further down to his upper thigh and see another scar. This one is smaller and just a round circle. For the port, I bet. I don’t know much about kidney disease, but I know they put a tube in the vein for when they need to do dialysis treatments. It stays there until the treatments are over.

I turn lightheaded and my stomach bottoms out. My chest hurts from my heart pounding so hard. My hands tremble as they grip his forearms. Tears warm my skin as they rush down my cheeks.

“Oh, God,” I cry in a ragged whisper.

Asher lifts me and carries me to the bed. He sits and cradles me in his lap. I bury my head as deep as I can get in his neck. We sit quietly with him holding me for several minutes, my cries the only sound in the room.

He was sick, could have died, and I wouldn’t have ever known.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I cry into his neck. “You should have told me. I could have been there for you.”

He pulls back, lifting my head with a finger under my chin until I’m forced to look at him.

“Baby, there was no way I would put you through that. I wasn’t going to have you until I knew I could have you for a lifetime. The doctors weren’t sure if my body would take to the new kidney. I wouldn’t ask you to be mine, only for me to die months later.”

I sob harder at the thought of him dying. I can’t imagine never having felt Asher’s arms around me. It’s inconceivable to comprehend. Never having him look at me with love. Never hearing him say he loves me. Never having the opportunity to get to know him. Never hearing him call me beautiful. Never feeling his lips on mine. Never sleeping in his arms.

“I wasn’t going to come to you until I was whole, until I could give you a life you deserved,” he whispers before leaning down to gently kiss my lips.

“What do…” I swallow the lump in my throat. My voice is thick when I speak again. “What do the doctors say now?”

He smiles. “They are hopeful. My last test results were good.” He turns his head away, and I know he’s hiding something. I turn his head back and make him look at me.

“What else?” I demand.

He clears his throat. “My results are good, but there’s a chance my body could reject it later. There’s no guarantee. Unfortunately, it’s pretty common for people with transplants to have problems later in life.”

My heart cracks, but I hold back the pain. “Then I’ll be there if it does. I know you have a family that must care for you and have been there, but I want to be there too.”

His eyes search mine. I keep my eyes steady, needing him to see how serious I am. This changes everything. What he did was wrong. Spying on me, breaking into my house, manipulating my dates, tracking my car, the video cameras, not telling me he was Sterling. All of it was wrong. But I can understand why he did it. I can’t imagine being in his shoes. He should have come to me sooner instead of doing what he did, but I get it now. It doesn’t make it okay, but it makes it bearable.

And if I’m honest with myself, I had already come to the conclusion that I can’t live without him. I still feel hurt and betrayed, but there’s no way I can keep turning him away.

He pulls me closer to his chest and the next thing I know, I’m being consumed by him. His hands fist my hair as his lips devour mine. Tasting him again after what seems like months makes me dizzy. My hands go to his hair to pull him impossibly closer. Every inch of my skin heats to a fever pitch. He steals my breath and makes it his own, and I do the same to him, both of us using the other’s breaths to breathe.

He groans deep in his throat when I pull back. I turn so I’m straddling his lap. His hardness meets my already soaked center, and I grind down on him. It’s been so long since I’ve felt him like this.

“Beautiful,” he breathes, taking my lips again in a scorching kiss.

His hands move to my waist, bringing me tighter against him.

“Please tell me this is okay,” he groans, moving his lips down my neck.

“God, yes. Please just touch me. It’s been too long.”

I tip my head back, giving him better access. He reaches where my neck meets my shoulder and sucks greedily at the flesh. Goosebumps appear on my arms and legs, and I shiver. My fingers dig into his shoulders at the intense pleasure of having him marking me again. I miss seeing the proof I belong to him.

“Asher,” I whimper and grind down further, trying to relieve the ache I’ve felt since I found him in my room.

“Hmm…I’ve got you, baby.”

He releases the hold he has on my neck and leans back. His hands move to the thin silk strap holding my robe closed. Torturously slow, he pulls until the knot comes undone. The robe opens slightly. His eyes deepen to a darker green when he sees the swell of my breasts. His intense expression has my need escalating. He parts the material and groans deep in his throat as he palms my breasts, flicking the nipple with his thumbs, before he lifts me from his lap, bringing my breasts to his face. With the tip of his tongue, he skims it gently over my nipple, then sucks it into his mouth. My head falls back, the pleasure of his hot mouth on me too much too bear.

He sets me back down on his lap and peels the robe down my arms, letting it fall to the floor at his feet. Warm hands run up and down my back, then one goes to the back of my head, fisting my hair and tugging it. I’m pulled forward until my breasts meets his hard chest, the coarse hairs only adding to the sensations. His lips go to my neck again and all I can do is sit there and enjoy everything he’s doing to me.

“I’ve missed this so much,” he says against my neck. “Touching you. Feeling your skin against mine. Smelling your intoxicating scent.” He pulls back to look at me. “Looking into your beautiful eyes. I’ve been going fucking crazy without you, Poppy. Please don’t ever make me go through that again.”

My breath catches in my throat at his look. He looks like he’s in pain. Like the memory of being away from me is something he can’t physically handle. I know the feeling. I hated every second of being away from him. It wasn’t until he came to my window a few days ago that I breathed properly again. When he left, he took my ability to draw air in with him.

I shake my head and tell him truthfully, “I won’t. You’re never getting rid of me now.”

The smile he gives me is the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen him smile before, especially in Texas, but this one… this one is different. It’s completely unrestrained and takes over his face.

He lifts me by the hips and twists. I’m flat on my back with him hovering over me, his arms framing us in our own little world, just the way I like it. It’s where I always want him, for the rest of our lives. This man is it for me. There will never be anyone other than him. Even if he were to die tomorrow…

I close my eyes at the reminder I could have lost him, without ever knowing this wonderful feeling that only he can give me.

“Hey,” he says, smoothing his thumbs along my cheeks. “What are you thinking?”

I open my eyes and gaze up at him. My love for this man is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s strong and sure, and I know it will never fade. It’ll only get stronger every day. I have no idea how my heart will be able to hold it all, but it will.

“Nothing,” I tell him softly as I pull him down to me.

I run my hands down his back to his ass, then back up again. His hand meets my breast and tweaks the nipple before going slowly down my body. When his fingers meet my heat, he twirls his fingers around the wetness, gathering some up to take up to my clit. Applying pressure, my hips buck off the bed. I cry out with pleasure and my eyes roll into the back of my head. He slips one finger inside and pumps it a few times before adding a second, then a third.

I don’t know when he took his briefs off, but seconds later I feel the blunt tip of his erection at my entrance. I hold my breath in anticipation as he slowly enters me. I want him to plunge forward, but looking at his tense face, I know he’s going slow for a reason. He’s on the edge. As much as I want him to lose that control, I also want this to last.

He closes his eyes as he sinks all the way in. Once he’s fully seated, his eyes open to meet mine.

“Never, Beautiful.” He leans down for a brief kiss. “Never have I felt something as good as this.”

“Not even when you first took me?”  I ask.

He pulls his hips back and pushes forward again.

“No,” he grounds out, his control clearly waning. “Each time I take you is better than the last. It’ll always be that way between us.”