Endure (2 page)

The smell of musk and mold filled the air. Footsteps clambered down the stairwell on the other side of the room and my chest tightened. I tried to stand but the pain overwhelmed me and inky dots blotted my vision. I conceded to my body’s demands and sat back down.

Riddley looked strange and out of place with light blue jeans and a button-up striped shirt covering his swollen belly. I couldn’t remember a time I’d seen him outside of the Circle’s white robes with golden sashes. His footsteps slowed as he reached the bottom of the stairwell, stopping without a word.

The healthy shine of his hair was gone, replaced by a greasy imposter that swung
dishevelled
and frayed around his face. I’d grown accustomed to seeing his beard perfectly trimmed, but now it was unkempt with irregular hairs
spiralling
in every direction. Riddley’s dark green eyes studied my face and his plump cheeks moved as though he were chewing on the inside of them. A horrible smell wafted through the room and as I sniffed the air, I grimaced. The unmistakable stench of body odor had replaced the musk, and I sniffed myself. It’d been days since I’d had clean clothes or a shower, and although I stunk, it wasn’t horrible.

“That lovely scent would be coming from me. I’ve had it for so long however, I don’t even notice it anymore.” Riddley’s voice was curt. Mud covered his torn black shoes, flaking off with each step. “Good to see you’re finally awake.”

I didn’t respond. Marcus had told me Riddley was one of the good guys, but I hadn’t quite wrapped my mind around that yet. I hadn’t trusted the council for years, and I didn’t know how to flick a switch and call him an ally.

“You look worried.” Riddley eyed me as he walked across the room. “I was under the impression Marcus told you about me. Have I been misinformed?”

I shook my head. “He told me. You two have secretly been working together for years, right?” My throat was dry and scratchy, my voice hoarse.

Riddley’s brows lifted but his eyes didn’t waver—they were fixated on me. “Your tone suggests anger; however, I just saved your life and I’m still in the act of doing so, so I’m not sure I understand it.” He disappeared behind a wall and a loud squeak sounded. The pipes beneath the floor rumbled and squealed before water gurgled through the faucet. Riddley returned with a glass of water in a chipped black mug. “Drink this and take these.” He extended a hand with three white pills sitting in his palm.

“What’s this?”

“Water and remarkably strong painkillers.”

I questioned him with my eyes and he shook his head, setting both down on a wooden chair beside the couch.

“Don’t trust me? Suit yourself. I suppose you have no reason to after everything that has happened to you, but I’m using nearly all my energy just to keep you from bursting into flames, so when you’re last dose of pills wears off and you’re wishing you’d taken those, I don’t want to hear any whining.”

“What are you talking about?” My throat was still raw, leaving the water to look even more appealing.

“I’m saying the only reason you’re alive right now is because I’m inside your head, using my magic to keep your elements at bay. So instead of looking at me like the angry child I remember, why don’t you have some respect for everything I’m doing?”

Anger sparked inside me but to my surprise, the fire didn’t rise with it. I reached down inside me and felt a barrier around the place that held my magic. The anger gave way to surprise and Riddley laughed.

“There it is, the moment of realization.”

“You’ve no business in my head.”

“I’m afraid I had no choice. You had unleashed a hellish wrath upon yourself and I feared if not controlled, it would be pushed upon the rest of the world. That destruction is far worse than any glare you can produce.”

“What wrath?”

“You’re a walking explosive, Chase. When I found you, your skin bubbled on your arms and chest. The rain that fell over you sizzled, and the water that pooled around you and your friend’s remains had become a boiling river. As hunters we have superior strength to humans, but we are not designed to sustain all five elements. It is why we are each only given one, and on rare occasions, two.”

I took a deep breath. The moment he mentioned Willy’s ashes my heart broke a little more inside. This wasn’t all a dream. Willy really was gone.

Riddley watched me and I wanted more than anything to argue with him. I wanted to not care what Marcus had told me. Riddley had been part of it from the beginning. I wanted to hate him for taking part in my exile, but I couldn’t. What was the point? There was too much going on, and it was all more important than what had happened to me years ago.

“You don’t have to like it, Chase, but right now you have no choice but to trust me. I’m the only one keeping you alive.”

My elements had become progressively more unmanageable. I didn’t know if what he said was true, but I remembered seeing flashes of light rolling over my arms. I didn’t remember anything after that, but my entire body was covered in bandages and the pain I felt told me his story couldn’t be far from the truth.

The pills were large, and I felt each of the three tablets squeeze down my throat. Even with the aid of water it hurt. When they were gone, I emptied the glass between my lips, but it wasn’t enough.

“I need to find my friends.” My voice still sounded scratchy, but for a moment, the water had given me some relief.

Riddley shook his head. “No, we do not. We’re safe here.”

“If what you’ve said is true, I appreciate what you’ve done for me. Really, I do, but I just managed to lose the last soul piece and get my best friend killed. If any of my friends are alive, I need to find them. I can’t…” I took a deep breath as pain
spiralled
up from my lower back. “I can’t do this without them…” I coughed and gagged as the dryness in my mouth became too much. I hunched over and with each cough, my body jerked, pulling apart the gashes on my back and sending breaches of discomfort up my spine.

Riddley poured more water into my cup. I swallowed half of it in a single gulp. It pacified my throat, but did nothing for the pain. He crouched in front of me and I hated every ounce of sympathy his eyes showed, but I was in too much pain to try and act strong.

“You’re going through an immense change, and you’re suffering the loss of a friend. I’m sorry for what’s happened, Chase, but it is not safe to venture out. Your friends will find us, but until they do, we must stay here.”

“How do you know that?”

“I contacted Marcus shortly before I found you. He was coming back from wherever in the gods’ names you were and he’ll come here to my cabin.”

“What did he say? Is everyone okay?”

“He did not respond. Marcus’s abilities do not allow for telepathic communication. Luckily for him, mine do, and I’m powerful enough to reach him cross-dimensionally.”

“Have you tried again since?”

“I cannot risk reaching out to him now. Most of my power is tied up with yours at the moment. It is…draining, to say the least. If I take any of it back to reach out to him…”

“Boom…”

“Indeed.”

“So I’m supposed to sit here and wait?”

“We don’t have any other options. Until the summoner arrives, you and I are attached at the hip, and I have no intention of leaving.”

I questioned Riddley, but the moment I did, the memory of what Krulear said came rushing back.

“The Fade is where lost souls are sent when they are unblessed by the gods by proper burial rights. It is where your summoner must call the spilled pieces of the old gods. The Fade is where she summons all her spirits from. Do this, have her bind those gods’ souls to you, and you become the Protector.”

“Am I not already?”

“No!” her voice was harsh and raspy. “You are anointed with the Mark, which gives you power, but you are not yet the full-blooded Protector. This is why you lack the gods’ blessing. It is why your body is collapsing against your magic.”

“How do you know about that?” I asked.

Riddley tapped the side of his head. “While I’m inside your mind, I know everything you know.”

The thought of him getting intimate with my thoughts made me uncomfortable, but it wasn’t nearly as painful as I remembered. When he’d raided my thoughts at our meeting with the Circle, it felt like someone had dragged sandpaper across my brain.

“How are you here? I mean, why? I don’t understand why you disappeared in the first place.”

“I’m afraid that is not a short story.”

“We’ve got nothing but time, so what’s the big deal?”

“I suppose you’re right.” Riddley sighed and sat in the wooden chair. There was a long pause afterward and his eyes wandered the floor, as if he was trying to decide on what to tell me.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning,” I said.

Riddley pondered it for a moment before nodding. “All right then, that seems as good a place as any.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands back and forth over his legs. “For years, long before your exile, I had been haunted by dreams. Visions of your father filled my nights—memories returning to me that were supposed to remain hidden. You can only ignore that sort of thing for so long. Shortly after your exile, I decided to see for myself what these dreams were about. To accomplish this, I did something forbidden. I entered a fellow hunter’s mind without consent, or consent of the council—your father’s. I was well aware of the punishment of this: exile or death, but I didn’t care. After your banishment, I knew something wasn’t right. Riley had Blackwell wrapped around his finger in a way I’d never seen. I was determined to get to the bottom of it.”

“What did you see?”

“The memory is jumbled at best, with parts still missing. But the memory is not as important as the discovery. I found darkness in Riley’s mind that didn’t belong.”

“This was before he did the ritual?”

Riddley nodded. “Oh yes, years earlier. I couldn’t determine what exactly had caused it, but one thing is for certain, your father had not been the hunter we knew for quite some time.”

I had memories of a father who was kind and just. I had looked up to him and even after he changed, I still idolized him. I wanted to grow up to be him. I always thought he was being harder on me because he had high expectations. And even after my exile, I wanted his attention. Maybe I secretly hoped I could impress him, and the caring father I remembered would one day return.

“It might not help, but for what it’s worth, I was against that from the start,” Riddley said. I looked up at him, once again confusion covered my face. Riddley tapped the side of his head. “I opposed your father’s recommendation for exile.”

“You did?

“It was a harsh punishment, and I wasn’t the only one who thought so. We all knew his claim that Tessa had been unfaithful was preposterous and that there was a chance you’d develop your abilities later. But Blackwell sided with Riley, overruling all of us.”

The moment he mentioned my mother’s name, images of her scorched body formed in my mind.

Marcus walked down that endless aisle of earth. Water crashed against the embankment on either side of him. His body covered in burns and black soot, and in his arms laid my mother’s body, completely still, covered in blistering wounds from my father’s flame. Her hair was singed and draped over his charred arms, and for the first time in years, she looked at peace.

A pang formed in my chest that had nothing to do with the wounds that covered my body. The ache and imagery put Willy’s face at the forefront of my thoughts.

His ashy skin crumbled beneath pellets of rain as I caught the last glimpse of his lifeless eyes, and then he was gone. His remains washed along the road and into the earth.

My mother and my best friend were gone forever. All because I wasn’t strong enough…wasn’t fast enough.

“You mustn’t be so hard on yourself, Chase. In this war, there are no winners. We fight to survive just one more day.”

“What do you know about fighting?” I asked, and it came out harsher than I had intended. “You’ve spent the better half of your life staring down at the rest of us from your high perch in the Circle, casting judgment and enforcing ridiculous rules to keep your grasp around the Circle tight. You don’t know a thing about war.”

“You’re welcome to believe what you like, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was out there once. All the elders were. We took that experience and tried to pass it on to the next generation. When I saw what we were doing wasn’t working, I adapted. I broke the Circle’s rules: I altered memories, I funneled money to Marcus for more than a decade, and I shared everything I could with him. I did this because I cared. I believed in what he was doing, and I still do. For years I fought my own war in a way I saw fit. Do not be mistaken, I’m here to stand
with
you, not fight against you.”

I ran my hands through my hair, even though it made my arms and body ache with each movement. “I’m sorry…it’s been a long few days.”

“Don’t be. From what I’ve seen, it’s been a long few months. A long few years if you count all the terrible things you and your mother had to deal with. If you weren’t angry, that would worry me.”

“Can we not talk about her, please?”