Authors: Karin Harlow
“I want to understand you, Marcus. How things are for you. Why it happened.”
He opened his eyes and ran his fingers through her mussed hair, gently untangling the snarls. “I was in Afghanistan. My squad had one purpose there: Eliminate the Taliban chieftains one at a time. We were very good at our job. We’d rotate missions. It was mine and my spotter, Benny Melgoza’ s, turn. It took us three days of looking like rocks on a hillside to get to the caves, but once we got a lock on our target, mission accomplished. Then we hightailed it back. We were about three hundred meters from our DZ, but we had the misfortune to run straight into a camel train of opium smugglers.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “They got Benny. I narrowly escaped. But they came after me. Eventually they got me. I was full of holes. I could hear the chopper coming in for me. They opened fire and it headed back to camp.” He opened his eyes. “I was dying, Jax. And I was pissed off about it. My entire life had been a clusterfuck. I wasn’t ready to go. The colonel showed up out of nowhere. Beside him was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She looked so exotic and smelled like flowers. I knew I had died and gone to heaven. But I was still alive, though barely, and on Earth.”
He ran his fingers along her fingertips. “Lazarus offered me a different life. Aelia, the woman, explained I would walk among mortals. I would be limited in the mortal world but blessed with untold power in the immortal world. I was desperate to live, Jax. Lazarus cut open his chest and I drank from it, but for some reason my body rejected his blood. It was only after Aelia
opened her vein that I was able to tolerate Lazarus’ s.”
“Did you die?”
“Yes, and no. They waited until just before my last heartbeat. Only then would my body accept the transfusion of their blood. It took three days for my body to make the complete transition. It was torturous. I wanted to die. But I survived it, and thrived.”
“Do you regret not dying as a mortal?”
“No.”
Jax leaned up and kissed him. “Me either. Had you died that night, I would not be here in your arms.”
“Jax, I’d do it all again to be here with you.”
His words warmed her. She gazed into his eyes and asked the question she was afraid he would answer. “What’s going to happen to us?”
“I can’t promise you a future, Jax. It’s not that I don’t want a future with you. I want that more than anything, but right now there are complications, complications that cannot be ignored.”
“What kind of complications?”
He smiled a slow, tired smile and kissed her nose. “Get some sleep and we’ ll talk later.”
Jax woke to an empty bed. She jackknifed up, with newly acute senses impossible to miss, and sniffed the air. The rich scent of fresh coffee, scrambled eggs and toast filled the small place. Her belly growled. She was ravenous.
Naked, she slid from the sheets. Rising, she swayed for a moment, then blinked rapidly. Everything around her was brighter. Sharper. Her body fairly vibrated with a feeling of vitality and power.
And because Marcus was near.
She strode noiselessly in the dark, her instincts taking her down a short hall to a small living room.
In the kitchen, she took a moment to take him in. He was dressed in a pair of black boxer briefs. His muscles moved in perfect symmetry across his broad back. She resisted the urge to run her hands up his back and around to his hard belly, then lower. Not because she didn’t want him again. There would never be enough of him for her, but she needed to eat. She was famished and she needed to think. Though they’d made love for hours, and he’d managed to take away her worry and despair over Shane, it had returned now with a vengeance. She had to know what had happened to him.
When Marcus turned to face her, she saw not the smile she’d expected but a guarded look.
“What?” she asked.
He set a loaded plate on the small kitchen table, then filled her coffee cup. “Shane was never admitted to Highland Hospital. I checked with the surrounding hospitals, and nothing.”
Jax’s appetite vanished. “He didn’t make it.” She sat down on a chair and stared at her plate. “Then he’s . . .” She couldn’t say it. Didn’t want to believe it. “It’s my fault. I should have been with him, Marcus.”
He squatted down in front of her and nudged her chin up with his fingers. “Would it have been his fault if your positions had been reversed?”
She stared at him for a long time, knowing he was right.
“You both knew how dangerous Lazarus was. How dangerous I was. He went in with his eyes wide open, and it’s no surprise he didn’t win. No mortal should have survived. That you did will go down in the coven’s history books.”
He smiled and traced a finger across her nipple. It puckered beneath his touch. Jax hissed in a deep breath, but this time, her spiking desire couldn’t override her despair over losing Shane or her determination to see Lazarus dead. Pulling away, she swore, “I’m going to kill Lazarus.”
He stared at her, jaw clenching, then stood. “You’ re going to need my help.”
His statement shocked her. “You’ ll help me?”
“Yes. Without my help there is no way you can win.”
“But Marcus, if you do that, you die. You will never have a chance to regain your humanity.”
“I have severed all ties with Lazarus. Any chance I had is gone.”
He’d done that for her. Given up his life. A second time.
“Marcus, get me close to Lazarus. Close enough to kill him. You will live, and somehow we will find a way to give you back your life.” He stared at her as if he did not comprehend her words. “Marcus, I would do anything for you, you
must
know that. I mean c’ mon, I owe you a couple of lives.”
He cracked a smile. “I suppose you do.”
“So?”
“So, we’ ll do our best.” He pushed the plate at her. “Eat. I’m getting you something to put on or we’ re never going to leave here.”
As he strode down the hall she yelled, “We’ ll do our best? Is that it?”
“Yes,” he called back. It occurred to her at that moment that he didn’t know how to react to her offer and declaration. Knowing his story, she doubted she would either. But she would do more than her best. They would both come through this, and they would both be standing, together, at the end of the day.
In a moment, he was back with a soft blanket, which he wrapped around her. She smiled up at his thoughtfulness and shook her head.
“What?” he grunted.
“I never would have guessed that under those big bad vampire fangs there was such a marshmallow.”
He smiled and traced a finger across her exposed collarbone. “Only for you.”
Jax took the last bite of her meal, then sipped her coffee. “Where are we?”
“Clearlake.”
She couldn’t keep her brows from rising. “Really?” He’d brought her home. It touched her so much; he might as well have taken her home to meet his mother. Given who his mother was, this was better. Speaking of . . .
“Marcus, I think Sophia—”
With a dark look, he shook his head. “No one knows of this place. We’ re safe for now.”
Okay, so obviously he wasn’t feeling sated enough to talk about Sophia Rowland. Jax understood his need to protect himself and appreciated his need to protect her, as well. She couldn’t stay, however. “I can’t stay here, Marcus. I have to find Shane and I have to regroup with my people. We have to eliminate Lazarus.”
“You have to find him first, and I know exactly where he’s going next. He’s going after Senator Bond.”
She sucked in a breath. “The GOP VP running mate?” She remembered Sophia and Senator Rowland talking about the possibility of him replacing Bond. How coincidental was it that Lazarus was now targeting him? Uneasily, she stared at Marcus, who didn’t appear to notice.
“Yes. Tomorrow Calhoun is holding a press conference to announce his pick. We need to get to Lazarus before he eliminates Bond.”
“Why? So that Rowland will step in? I thought he wanted Rowland dead, not—” She closed her eyes as realization hit her. “Oh, shit.”
“Exactly,” Marcus said. “Why kill him when he can be so useful in the White House? Or rather, so useful in getting Lazarus to the White House. Lazarus has gotten power hungry, and that’s not something I signed up for.” He looked away, then back to her. “When the sun sets in a couple of hours, we need to leave.”
“I know.” She studied him and the faintly troubled look in his eyes. And suddenly, before he even spoke, she knew Sophia was involved in Lazarus’s scandalous plan. Still, she certainly wasn’t expecting what he said next.
He looked at her and softly said, “I killed Sophia Rowland.”
Shock made her jaw drop. Horrified, she stood.
“What?”
“Lazarus turned her. I had no choice.” He sounded almost defensive. As if trying to make himself less culpable in her eyes.
There was no need. Sophia Rowland had been a monster before Lazarus had gotten hold of her. Still, Jax sat back, stunned. “Why would he do that? Turn her, I mean.”
“They have been an item for some time now. I knew there was a woman. I could sense her. The colonel can be very charming when he chooses. Turning her was probably the only way she’d give up her husband. She wanted the power and immortality the colonel could give her.”
“Even more than she wanted to be the first lady? Because I’m assuming that’s where it would have gone, right? Only, as a vampire, she couldn’ t—?”
He shook his head. “No, not in the traditional sense. But with Lazarus as her maker, she’d have been strong as long as she limited her exposure. She could have claimed
she had a sun allergy like solar urticaria. Lazarus often uses that excuse for protecting himself or limiting his exposure to the sun when in public.”
Her mind could barely comprehend what he was telling her. “How did you kill her?”
He hesitated, then thrust his chin out. “The only way I could. I decapitated her.”
Jax grimaced. “Shit, Marcus . . . did you ever love her?” Her voice trailed off as she thought of her own mother. How they’d fought sometimes, but had always been connected by an indestructible bond. . . .
“She gave birth to me, Jax, and deserted me when I was two weeks old. When I was twelve, I ran away to find her. I was so sure she was searching for me. When she saw me and realized who I was, I cannot describe the look of horror on her perfect face. She threatened to kill me if I ever showed my face to her or anyone she was associated with again.” He looked at Jax. “She was a power-hungry, manipulative bitch. She would have eventually destroyed my sister. I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
Jax let out a long breath and shook her head. But she understood why he’d done what he had. Given Sophia’s plans, Jax would have done the same thing. Slowly, wanting to comfort him but not knowing how such action would be received, she took his hand. “I knew that night at the Green Room. I watched your face as realization dawned on you. It was the first time I felt something other than lust and anger toward you.”
He grinned and released her hand, only to push her back into the chair. “You lusted after me?”
She snorted. As if he could have missed it. She moved
into him, knowing somehow that he needed her touch now even more than she needed his. “Yeah, big-time.”
“Good. Because you had me so hard, so fast, I could barely see straight.” He stood up and cleared the table with one quick swipe of his hand, then laid her on top of it. The blanket fell away and he gazed at her body. “You’ re beautiful, Jax.” Her nipples tightened and Jax felt overcome with desire. He traced his finger down her belly and softly said, “Your scar is gone.”
Jax gasped and looked down to her smooth, flat belly. Shocked, she looked up at him. “How?”
He grinned like the cat that ate the canary. “My blood is potent. Not only did it repair the fresh damage to your body, it repaired the old damage as well.”
Jax grabbed his hand and pressed it to her belly. “Marcus, when I was stabbed, my uterus was hacked up. It’s full of scar tissue. The doctors said I would never have a child.”
He splayed his big hand across her belly. “Like I said, my blood is potent. It’s powerful, directly from Lazarus, who was created by Rurik, the father of our kind. Aelia, Rurik’s consort, was a part of my creation as well. Her blood is as strong as Rurik’ s.”
He moved her hands away and lowered his lips to her belly to kiss her there. “Jax, you will be a magnificent mother one day.”
His words were bittersweet. She had always wanted children, but the only man she’d wanted them with was incapable of giving them to her. Or was he? “Marcus?” she moaned as his fingers stroked the inside of her thighs and his lips traveled lower.
“Hmm . . .”
“Can vampires have children?”
His head snapped up and his eyes caught hers. “I don’t know.” He lowered his lips back to her belly and kissed a warm, wet trail south. “Let’s find out.” He took her into his mouth. Jax nearly rose off the table. He slid a thick finger into her, gently moving it in and out of her while his lips trailed just down to the inside of her thigh. She felt his teeth scrape against her artery there. Heat swept her up into a firestorm. She opened wider for him and lay back, giving him all of her.