Engaging the Bachelor (Pulse) (10 page)

With a restless hunger he couldn’t seem to sate, he pushed into her at a maddening pace, blunt strokes that prolonged her orgasm and brought on his. He closed his eyes, sinking into a haze of nothing but sensation. Tension eased from his body as he answered the pull in his groin, letting himself go high inside her. Their moans mingled, hovered, and fell over them like a warm blanket.

With their bodies still unified, he collapsed on top of her, breathing hard and heavy against her back. She stretched out beneath him, the handcuffs jangling on the bedpost. He lifted slightly to see her, and marveled at the things she made him feel. There was no woman in the world so sexy, so perfect. Honest to fuck, she took his breath away, and he wanted her again. Right now.

He discarded the condom, grabbed a couple tissues from the box on her nightstand, and cleaned them up. She wiggled against his hand when he slipped it between her legs. He grinned, loving this side of her.

He put his mouth close to her ear. “Key?”

“Dresser.” She sounded drowsy and sated. A well-fucked woman. He liked her all warm and soft like this, but when it came to being sated, he was pretty sure he’d have to take her another two, or fifty, times before he had his fill.

Slipping off the bed, he found the handcuff key and released her hands. “Come here.” He dropped onto his back and pulled her close, gently rubbing her wrists. Her hair tickled his face as she rested her head on his chest. He brushed it back and fought off a yawn.

Her breathing changed, became softer, and she snuggled in tighter. They stayed quiet for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts. Warm fingers splayed over his stomach, and she gave a contented sigh. Bedding rustled as he covered them, his mind replaying the dinner with his family. No way could he let Gemma plan an engagement party with his mother. That wasn’t a part of the agreement, and he’d never ask her to do anything that made her uncomfortable. Christ, it was supposed to be simple. One dinner to get his mother off his back. Now he feared he’d made things more complicated.

He caressed her arm, and she quivered. “You didn’t drink the wine tonight,” he said quietly.

She lifted her head, and sleepy eyes met his. “What?”

“You didn’t drink the wine. You only pretended.”

“Aren’t you observant? And you’re right. I didn’t drink the wine. I only took the glass because I didn’t want to be rude.”

“You don’t drink?”

She nestled against his chest again, her fingers lightly brushing his stomach. A long pause and then, “No.”

“Because of what happened at the party?”

“No, not really.”

She tightened up, and he guessed he’d hit another sore spot. He went quiet and waited a long time for her to speak. He wanted to know more—everything—about her, but he didn’t want to scare her off. Then again, this wasn’t supposed to get personal.

“My mother is an alcoholic,” she whispered. “I don’t want to end up like her.”

His chest squeezed at the sadness in her tone. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He shook his head, and grasped for something to say, to make her feel better. “Parents. It’s always something, right?”

She looked at him again, with a longing in her eyes that tugged at his heart. “I actually liked yours, Carson. Your mom cares about her family.”

“I know. It’s just that I hate the falseness of it all, you know.” When she nodded, he asked, “What about your dad?”

“He was never in the picture.” She made a noise, a snort of sorts. “He left when I was a kid. But I grew up with plenty of father figures.”

He pulled the blankets up higher, tucking her in tighter. “Ah, I take it they weren’t good ones, though.”

“It was good when they left.”

“Why did they leave?”

“I don’t know, but eventually, they all did. They’d walk out the door, ignoring my mother’s pleas for them to stay. But they always left her, and left me to pick up the pieces. She could never be without a man, and I swore I’d never rely on one. ”

The puzzle that was Gemma began to click together. No wonder she acted so tough. She did it to protect herself—to keep people out. “They didn’t just leave your mom, Gemma. They left you, too.”

She went quiet for a long time. “Yeah. Some weren’t nice, were even emotionally abusive, but others actually were kind, and when I was young, I did get attached. I wanted a normal family, you know? As I got older, though, and watched so many leave, I got to the point where I didn’t even bother to learn their names.”

“Is that why you don’t do names, because eventually everyone leaves?”

“Something like that.”

He shifted to his side and lowered himself on the pillow until they were face to face. He brushed her hair back, and her eyes fell shut. “Gemma.”

Her lids opened. “Yeah.”

“Why did you let me take your virginity and then just walk out of my life?”

“I just did.”

“I never understood it. You didn’t even know me.”

“Carson,” she murmured, glancing away. “I just…I just needed you that night.”

“Why?” he whispered.

“I was a nobody, and you were so sweet. You wanted me, and I needed to be wanted.”

The quiver in her voice stopped him from pressing, but he had a damn good idea why she’d run away. She clearly had trust issues, and she’d been protecting herself. He’d been just a guy she expected to leave, because eventually everyone did. If she got out first, she couldn’t get hurt. His heart squeezed for the lonely girl who’d had to put on a tough bravado just to face the world.

He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I just want you to know I looked for you.”

“You did?” Her words tumbled out on a fluttery breath.

“Yeah, but no one knew you. I spent a lot of years thinking about you, and every time I moved to a different city, I’d look for you.”

She blinked. “Really?”

“Yes.” His gaze moved over her face. “Why do you find that so hard to believe?”

“No one ever cared…” Her voice fell off. “It was a long time ago. We were kids.”

“Just so you know, you weren’t a nobody. Not to me.”

She angled her head, her eyes a bit shiny. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What did I say wrong at dinner tonight? What about your switching careers made everyone so tense?”

The muscles in his jaw tightened. He should have known that question would come up sooner or later. He supposed he owed her an explanation. If they were going to present a united front, they needed to know more about each other. It wasn’t something he’d ever talked about, but the way she’d opened up to him tonight, he wanted to tell her.

“My sister was drugged. I couldn’t prevent it, the way I did with you.”

She gasped. “Oh my God, Carson.” She went up on her elbow and placed her hand on his face. Her touch went right through him. “What happened? Was she…?” Her words fell off, as if she couldn’t bring herself to say them.

He nodded, his throat too tight to speak. The warmth of her palm seeped under his skin, and he leaned into her.

“This had something to do with you switching careers?”

He nodded again.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea, otherwise I never would have said anything. You know that, right?”

“I know.” A sound caught in his throat, and it almost hurt to breathe as old memories bombarded him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. “The memory of finding Crystal on the floor, half dead from the drugs that asshole had slipped into her drink, still haunts me, Gemma.” Her arms went around him, and she shuffled closer. Warm hands traced over his back, comforting, soothing, pushing back the darkness that lived inside him.

“I had no idea how to revive her. I was eighteen years old, just off to college. I’d come home for Christmas and heard about a party. I didn’t know she would be there. She was only sixteen and had lied to our parents about where she was going that night. When I found her on the floor in one of the upstairs bedrooms, I didn’t know what to do. So I just called 911.” He tightened his hand on her shoulder. “I swore to God I’d never feel so helpless again.”

“She’s okay now, though, Carson,” she said quickly. “She seems happy.”

“She is.”

“Thanks to you.”

“She feels guilty, though, and I wish she wouldn’t.”

Her brow furrowed. “Guilty about what?

“I went after the guy and nearly beat him to death.” He made a fist and looked at his knuckles. “I was so enraged, I didn’t even know what I was doing. I got arrested.”

She gave a slow nod of understanding. “That’s why you didn’t go into law,” she said quietly, almost to herself. She took his hand in hers and held it, her touch like a healing balm.

“These hands save lives every day, but I’d do it again in a minute, Gemma. I would.” He breathed in and let it out slowly. “Do you hate me for that?”

“No,” she whispered.

“You probably should.”

“I don’t. You’re a good guy, Carson. Your sister said you were the best guy she knew, and she was right.” She swallowed. “You saved me,” she whispered. “You protected me from your friend.”

“He’s no friend.”

“The shelter Crystal was talking about. What exactly is it?”

“It’s a women’s shelter. We provide beds, food, and other resources, like medical help and counseling, to women and children in crisis. Crystal does a clothing and toy drive every summer. That’s what she was talking about. I move around a lot and have pretty much been involved with a shelter in every city.”

Gemma nodded slowly. “We have one in Brooklyn. It’s close to the hospital, unfortunately. Mom won’t go anywhere near a hospital. If we had one closer, maybe I could talk her into getting some counseling.”

“I can look into that for you, if you like.”

She went deathly quiet. “You’re a good guy,” she whispered again, her eyes cast downward.

Needing to lighten the mood and put a smile back on her face, he nudged her. “Hand me those cuffs, and I’ll prove you otherwise.”

She smiled, but he could tell it was forced.

Coolness enveloped him as she pushed away. “I need to take Gracie for a walk.”

Ah, the great escape artist in action.

“I’ll go with you. It’s late and dark, and I don’t want you in the park by yourself.”

One hand went to her hip, her look haughty, but there was something lingering beneath that indignation. Was it pleasure disguised as annoyance?

“I’m capable of taking care of myself,” she said.

“I know, but I’m coming with you. As long as I’m around, I’m taking care of you. I told you that. So get used to it.”

She mumbled something about bossy pants and pushed the sheets off.

He laughed and grabbed the handcuffs. “Besides, I don’t want you running away. I’m not nearly done with you tonight.”

Chapter Nine

“You’re kind of glowing.”

Gemma shot Andy a glance, and realized how little time they’d spent together since Carson had come into her life two weeks ago. Andy had been working the night shift for the last couple of weeks, but her friend being tied up in the ER wasn’t the real reason Gemma hadn’t seen much of her. No, it was because she’d been tied up with Carson. Literally. They fell into bed together nearly every night, and he continually impressed her with his sweet bedside manner and oh-so-deft hands.

“I am not glowing,” she countered, and smoothed one hand over her sundress. “It’s hot back here.”

“Speaking of being back here.” Andy glanced around the kitchen, and Gemma followed her gaze, taking in Score’s staff and servers, who were all hurrying around to cover the lunch-hour rush. “What are you even doing here, anyway?” Andy checked her watch. “Isn’t it your day off?”

“I’m just making a couple of sandwiches.”

Andy tapped her nails on the stainless steel countertop. “Oh? Who for?”

Gemma cut the bread, wrapped the sandwiches, and stuck them in a takeout bag. “None of your business.”

“Since when did you start doing deliveries, anyway?”

She grinned at her best friend. “Dave is out on a run, so I thought I’d help him out.”

“Right,” Andy said, laughing. “You’re full of it. Those are for you and Carson.”

She laughed, too. “Yeah, we’re going out on the boat this afternoon.”

Andy gave a wistful sigh. “Truthfully, though—is the sex really so good that you’re making him one of your famous turkey sandwiches?”

“Yeah, it’s that good, and I need to feed him to keep up his stamina.” She gave her friend a playful wink. “This is all about me, Andy.”

“And meeting his family, that was all about you, too?”

“No, that was for Carson,” she admitted. “Part of the arrangement.” She neglected to tell her about the engagement party his mother insisted on planning, with or without Gemma. Andy would definitely go into lecture mode over that one. Carson had tried to talk his mother out of it, but she was an incredibly pushy woman. For now, they were riding it out and hoping to keep pushing the date back until after they faked their breakup at the end of summer.

“And they liked you?”

“They appeared to.” Gemma shrugged. “I went out with Crystal a couple of weekends ago. We did some charity work and had lunch. She’s really great.”

“So you’re falling for all of them, then? Carson
and
his family?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “I’m not. I was cornered into spending time with Crystal, and the only thing between Carson and me is sex, that’s it.”

“Really good sex.”

“Yeah.”

“And you still know what you’re doing?” Andy grabbed a piece of turkey from the plastic container and popped it into her mouth. “You’ve got everything under control?”

“Yes.”

Andy’s voice dropped, becoming more serious. “Carson has a real reputation with the ladies, you know that, right?”

An unwise pang of jealousy gripped her stomach. “I have a question. Do the hospital staff all sleep with each other, like I see on the nighttime doctor dramas on TV?”

“Oh, yeah, they do. So I know what I’m talking about. And if he hurts you, Gemma, I will personally remove his balls.”

She chuckled. “Thanks, but I have Gracie for that.” When she looked back up, she found Andy watching her carefully. She cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, pulling herself together.

“When he leaves at the end of the summer, you’re not going to be heartbroken, are you?”

“Nope.”

Andy pushed off the counter. “All right. I’m off to get some sleep. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Let’s catch a movie this weekend,” Gemma said, feeling a little bad about the lack of time they’d been spending together.

Andy left the kitchen, and Gemma packed away the turkey and snatched two cans of soda to go with lunch. She grabbed her purse, paid for the food, and went out the back to the rear lot. When she found Carson leaning against his car waiting for her, looking warm, relaxed, and so sexy, her heart did a little jump.

Careful, Gemma. He’s a guy you could easily fall for.

“Hey,” he said, bending to give her a kiss on the mouth when she reached him.

She held up the bag. “I hope you like turkey.”

He took the bag and put it in the backseat. “It’s food isn’t it?”

Laughing, she circled the car and slid into the passenger seat. She studied his profile as he drove, taking in the hard ridges along his jaw, and the stubble on his chin. She breathed in his scent, and he turned her way. His face softened, and he smiled.

“Did you bring a suit?” he asked.

“You didn’t say anything about swimming.”

“Doesn’t matter, you don’t need one.”

“If you think you’re dunking me fully clothed again, you can forget it.”

“No, but we have to take a dip. It’s a beautiful day.”

“So you’re suggesting we skinny-dip.”

He gave her a sexy, lopsided grin. “It’s not really a suggestion.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t like swimming in the ocean.”

He took the turn, and she leaned his way. His hand snaked out and captured hers. “Why not?”

“Did you not see
Sharknado
?”

He burst out laughing and she couldn’t help but laugh with him. God he was so fun to be with, so easy to talk to. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“From a shark? Do we need to talk about how you reacted to Gracie?”

“Ah, pit bull, Gemma. Sharp teeth.”

“Ah, shark, Carson. Sharper teeth,” she returned, and he just laughed again.

He drove to the Southampton yacht club, squeezed his car in between two trucks and powered it down. One hand went to her headrest, and he shifted to face her. Warmth moved into his eyes, and his fingers brushed over her hair. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He brushed her curls from her face. The display of tenderness seemed odd coming from the domineering man who played with handcuffs and literally took what he wanted. That wasn’t to say he didn’t give as good as he got. The man was all about reciprocating.

She tightened her ponytail and, deciding to leave her purse in the car, grabbed their lunch from the backseat. Carson popped the trunk, pulled out his backpack and shouldered it. Again with the backpack. What did he carry in that anyway? Before she had a chance to ask, he closed his hand over hers and her body reacted to his closeness, his heat. Hand-in-hand, they walked through the parking lot and along the wooden dock. When she caught sight of the luxurious speedboat at the end of the marina, she pointed.

“Is that yours?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

She crinkled her nose and took in the big boat. “Did your grandfather teach you how to sail this, too?”

He laughed. “Yes, and technically I’m not sailing it, I’m steering.”

They walked the length of the dock and when they reached the boat, he moved to the side and waved his hand, gesturing for her to walk up the wobbly aluminum gangway. She grabbed the rails and shook them. They rattled, and she swayed. “Well, technically, I’m still not too sure about this.” She shook the rails again. “Is this even safe?”

“Yes, I’d never do anything to put you in danger.”

Her heart skipped a beat. He really was one of the good guys.

She slowly made her way up, thankful she was in flats and not heels. Good God, it was the biggest boat she’d ever been on. She down glanced the length of it. Did it have its own staff?

“So, you really know how to steer this, Carson?”

“Yes, and out here, you can call me ‘Captain,’” he said, a note of amusement in his voice.

“I think I’ll stick with Sailor Boy.”

He laughed, and it brought a smile to her face. When he grinned at her like that, like she was the most important girl in the world, it was easy to forget this thing between them was pretend. Andy’s warning came rushing back, and Gemma gave herself a quick lecture about what was real and what wasn’t.

He put his hand on the small of her back, his touch warm and intimate as he guided her on board. Her body heated, and bathing suit or not, she was going to have to take a dip in the water just to cool herself down.

She stopped when she reached the lower deck, and he came up behind her. His body was close, his mouth near her ear. “I’m not a boy anymore, Gemma,” he said, his voice full of sensual promise.

No. No he wasn’t. He was all man. 100 percent alpha male.
El Capitano
, in every sense of the word. A shiver moved through her when she thought about those controlling hands of his.

He guided her up a set of stairs to the top level of the boat, and they walked around a gorgeous bar with chrome stools and headed toward the front of the cruiser. She took in the opulence, the luxurious white leather seats, and all the areas for sun bathing. This boat was seriously out of her league, and a reminder they were different people from different worlds.

She slid into the chair beside his. Looking right at home, Carson dropped his backpack, powered up the boat, and took them out. She smiled as she watched him, and it was easy to tell he loved being on the water.

“Tell me more about your grandfather,” she said as she reached into her bag for their food, wanting to know so much more about him. She unwrapped his sandwich and handed it to him.

Carson bit into the bread. His eyes lit up. “This is good.”

“I use cranberry sauce instead of mayonnaise,” she explained, feeling silly that his enthusiasm made her so happy.

He took another big bite and when he gave an exaggerated moan, she grinned. “Drink.” She handed him his soda, bit into her own sandwich, and lifted her face to the sun. “Was it your dad’s father or your mother’s?”

He cracked the can, took a long swallow and put it in the cup holder. “Dad’s.”

“Did you get along with your grandmother, too?”

“We lost Gran when I was young. Granddad came around a lot more then, especially after he retired.” Carson waved to an elderly gentleman as they passed his anchored boat, and then he turned those ocean-blue eyes on her. “He was a lawyer, like my dad. Gran never worked. She stayed home and raised her family. She loved to knit and cook.” He held up his last bite of sandwich. “She would have loved these.” He grinned like he was remembering something funny. “She would have loved you,” he said in a voice so soft she had to strain to hear it. But then he frowned, as if he’d said too much.

She shifted in her plush leather seat. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet them.” He went quiet for a long time. “I’m also really sorry the model boat he gave you got destroyed, Carson. Could it not be fixed?”

“No, it was damaged beyond repair.” He shrugged like it was nothing, but Gemma could imagine what the gift had meant to him. “At least I have my memories.” He steered the boat and took them farther from the dock. Outside the marina, the choppy water crashed against the side of the vessel and they swayed slightly.

“Do you have grandparents you’re close to?” he asked.

“No. It was just me and Mom, and too many…” She paused to do air quotes. “…uncles.”

“You had Andy and her mom.”

“Still do.”

“Seems like they were a good influence on you.” He snorted. “Except for Andy leaving you alone that night at my place when she took off upstairs with my buddy.”

She rolled one shoulder, not at all upset by her friend’s action. “She liked the guy and went after what she wanted.”

He wagged his eyebrows, his grin sexy. “So did you,” he murmured, his voice dropping an octave. “And I’m glad you did.”

“Yeah, we’re wild women. Really aggressive.” She wasn’t. Not really, but he didn’t need to know that.

He cocked his head, his gaze moving slowly over her. “I do appreciate you not sleeping around while we’re faking this engagement. I hope it’s not been too hard on you.” She eyed him, took in the smile playing on his mouth. “I’ve been trying to do my best to keep you satisfied.”

What the hell? Was he suggesting he could see behind the bad girl act she presented to the world? While one part of her wanted him to look behind the mask, to see that she wasn’t easy, because what he thought actually mattered to her, there was another part of her that needed that shield in place, especially when it came to him. Andy was right. If there was one man who could hurt her, it was Carson, and she knew better than to let him in a second time. Truthfully, this was a dangerous game they were playing, and she needed to be careful—a whole hell of lot more careful than she had been so far.

Turning on the bad girl act, she said, “I know you’ve been
trying
, and I give you an A for effort,” she said. “But I do like variation.” She was kidding, of course. She had no desire to be with another guy, and this one man was beyond creative in the bedroom. He continually surprised her…pleasured her.

Carson chuckled but it died on his lips when he touched her chin and lifted her face to his. His eyes were a deeper shade of blue when they met hers. A horn sounded in the distance, breaking the moment, and she crinkled the sandwich paper in her hand. Carson let go of her chin, and she dropped the wrapper into the takeout bag.

“About this skinny dipping,” she said, like it was something she did every day.

He cocked his head. “You serious?”

She fanned her face. “Sure, it’s hot out here.”

“Okay.” He looked around, steered them into a quiet cove, and dropped anchor. “Nice and private here.”

Gemma stood and gripped the hem of her sundress. She peeled it over her head and grinned when Carson’s groan reached her ears. “Your turn,” she said.

He reached over his shoulder and tugged his T-shirt. Her gaze latched on to his hard chest as he tossed his shirt away. Comfortable in her skin around him, she slipped her hand around her back and removed her bra. Carson made quick work of his shorts, and once he was standing in front of her wearing only his boxers, he put his hands on her rib cage in a familiar movement, his thumbs brushing her nipples.

Smoldering eyes latched on her breasts, and he murmured, “Maybe the swimming can wait.”

She worked to find her voice as her nipples hardened beneath his hands. “Oh? What do you have in mind?”