Enough (22 page)

“I knew it.
Don’t tell Declan or Mom that. Confide in me. I am after all the person who knows most about this. And you two have serious chemistry. Anyone who doesn’t see it is blind.” She said.

“What if…” I looked down at the comforter. “What if
we do it and that’s it… He just moves on?” I asked.

She shook her head. “That guy looks at you like you’re his queen. Seriously, I want someone like
that. Trust me, Em. Once you guys do it, you two will be inseparable.” I’d like to think.

“It’s not
too early…he won’t think… I’m easy?” I asked.

“He’s not that kind of guy.”
She said. Like she even knows?

“Okay…enough about me. It’s time we take a nap.”
I kissed her forehead and we dozed off.

***

“Emily?” Someone pinched my arm and I shot up. Scarlett.

“That hurts!”
I said glancing over at the window. Oh, shit. “What time is it?” I asked jumping out of bed.

“It’s after eight. What time was your date?”
Scar asked.

“Six. Shit
! I have to go.” I said walking into my room and changed. I grabbed my phone. I missed Alex’s call. Great. As I left my room I called Quinn’s Pizzeria. Every other restaurant must be packed by now so we’ll have to settle for that. I got to Quinn’s in fifteen minutes and found a parking space in front. I grabbed my purse and headed inside. I was halfway down the aisle when I looked up and saw familiar blue eyes looking back at me. Bryan. I smiled and he looked away. Ouch. That hurt.

I
grabbed the pizza and fries and tried not to look hurt. Bryan was with a girl I knew from school but they didn’t look up at me. I felt something tighten in my chest as I walked straight to my car. We haven’t talked since I told him he’s my brother. It must be hard for him but I miss him.

I
put the car in drive and drove to Alex’s place. The lights were on so that’s good. He’s home. I parked in the driveway and jogged up the stairs. I rang the doorbell and a few seconds later Alex stood there holding the door open. “I’m so sorry, I fell asleep. I brought this.” I said shaking the pizza box lightly. “I wanted to go to dinner but the place closes early on Sundays.” I said.

“Is that the pizza that’s to die for?”
Alex asked letting me in. I nodded. “Then it’s perfect.” I set it on the kitchen table while Alex grabbed two Cokes. “We could have done this another time.”

“I wan
ted to come.” I said as our eyes met. Then we sat down and ate pizza while we talked. “So what did you do?” I asked.

“G
ot rid of the cars and met up with a few people.” Alex said finishing his Coke. Jealousy shot through me.

“Girls?” I
asked because I’m a woman. I just want to know.

He smiled and laughed
softly. “I’m glad you came.” He said. He didn’t answer the question. There were girls. I’m good with that.

I looked over
at the kitchen island and found a new bag of Skittles. I smiled and picked it up. “You like these?” I asked.

“Those aren’t mine. I thought you left them here.”
Alex said.

“I hate skittles.” I
said ripping the bag open. “Declan loves them.”

“Why do you hate them?”
Alex asked walking up to me to grab one. He grabbed a red. Those are the only ones I tolerate.

“
Bad history. When I was younger Declan and I use to toss them in the air and catch them. Not a good idea. It got stuck in my throat and I almost died.” I said shaking my head. “Declan and his friends haven’t stopped making oral sex jokes about it.”

“I can’t have them all at once. Doesn’t taste right.” Alex said.

“Can I let you in on a secret?” I asked. He raised his eyebrows and nodded. Everyone loves secrets. “I have these two friends…you don’t know them so don’t try this. During the summer we came up a code word. Just in case something bad happens and we find out…you know the drill. All of us hate skittles so it’s perfect. We never bring it up in a conversation so if one of us says
skittles
, then we know something’s wrong.” I said,

Alex smiled.
“And it works?”

“Trust me…they are not people you want to joke around with. T
hey really care about me becaus–” I shut my mouth. That is not a conversation I want to have with Alex. No one, period.

“So what does it mean? I’m in trouble.” Alex asked.

“Yeah. We watch tons of movies. So if we say, ‘skittles are the best candy in the world’ it means we can’t talk and it’s bad. I’m in trouble, send help, basically.” I said.

“Damn…that’s really smart.”
Alex said letting another skittle fall into his palm. “My sister loved these.” He said staring down at the counter. “Yellow was her favorite. She’d always save the reds for me.”

“I only eat the red ones.”
I whispered.

“I thought you hated them.”
Alex said finding my eyes.

“I do
but if they happen to be there I’ll pick out the red ones. They’re okay.” I said. Alex set the bag on the counter and let all the candy pour out. He grabbed a red one and held it out for me.

The way his eyes were looking at me…I dropped my gaze and took the skittle. I tossed it in the air and caught it on my tongue.
“So, what do you want to do?” I shouldn’t have asked that question because I want clothes to come off. I’m leaning against the island and I blushed. This is one of my fantasies. Kill me now.

Alex walked up to me an
d kissed me lightly on the lips. “We spent a lot of time together and we still don’t know that much about each other.” He said pressing his palms into the counter. I’m blocked in. And I like it. Then he picked up a skittle. “A truth for every skittle.”

Oh, man.
“We toss them in the air.” I said. “If you catch it, I spill. I catch it, you spill. Deal?”

“Deal.”
He threw it up and I caught it. “I’m having one of the best days so far.” He said.

My turn. I threw
it up and he caught it. “There isn’t any other place I’d rather be.” I said.

Before
Alex tossed it he asked, “Asking questions okay?”

“Sure.”
I said. Anything is okay with him. He threw a purple one up and it landed perfectly on my tongue.

“Who’s
your favorite singer or band?”

I didn’t have to think about it.
“Girl or boy?” I asked.

“Both.”

“Girl, Katy Perry. Boy, Eminem.” He raised an impressed eyebrow so we kept throwing the skittles back and forth.

We
were telling truths so I had to ask “Are you seeing anyone?” He stared at me with a smile on his lips. I don’t know what we’re doing. We could just be friends…kissing…

“There is this one girl.
I can’t get her off my mind.” A smile spread on my lips and I blushed. “But it wouldn’t be fair to her if I talked about it with you.” My smile dropped and I looked anywhere but him. That’s embarrassing. “I’m just kidding. You looked a little jealous, Emily.”

I met his eyes. “
Maybe I was.” I said with a raised eyebrow challenging him. I smiled when his hands slid onto my hips.

“You have nothing to be jealous about. There’s no one else.” Hi
s eyes searched my face. “There’s only you.” He said.

I need
a block of cement tied to my ankle to hold me down because I was about to fly away. “You sound like you know what you want.” I said.

“I do.” He
said throwing a skittle up. I caught it before he could. “Favorite childhood memory.” He’s suppose to answer.

“You answer that one.”
I said.

“When my family decided to spend vacation at home.”

“Really?” That took me by surprise.

“Yeah, every year we’
d go someplace new but we never spent time together as a family. That year, we stayed home and did normal things. My sister, Emma, hated that I convinced them to stay but at the end she was as happy as I was.” The smile on his face melted my heart. It’s nice hearing about his family. I only know that they died within months of each other.

Alex looked up at me
when he saw we were on the last skittle.

“You take it.”
I said. It’s red.

He hesitated while his eyes searched mine then he threw the skittle in the air and caught it on his tongue
. I have to spill. “Will you go out with me?” Holy shit. “I’m talking real dates, anniversaries…couple stuff…”

“Did
Alex Payne
just ask me out?” I asked holding his eyes. He nodded. “And if I say yes?” Of course I’m going to say yes! There isn’t anything I want more.

“You’d see a lot
more of me.” Alex said.

“What else would I get?”
I asked. He leaned into me.

H
e bent down with only an inch between our lips and said, “More of this.” He kissed my lips then moved down to my jaw. “This.” His lips moved to my neck. The way his tongue brushed my skin sent a chill down my spine.

I found his lips a
nd kissed him. I can’t hold it in anymore. “Yes.” I’m pretty sure he thinks I attacked him. That’s what I did. I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him even closer to me.

Alex lifted me up and sat me down on the
counter. His hands slipped under my shirt and stayed on my hips then slowly made their way to my back. I’m lost again.

I moved my lips to his ear an
d whispered, “Your room.”

He pulled
his lips off my skin and looked at me. “I didn’t…we don’t have to.” He said. I stared into those perfect hazel eyes.

Please just stop denying what we both want
.

“I want to.
” I said bringing his lips back to mine as I wrapped my legs around him. A few minutes later he gave in. Alex lifted me off the counter and held me up as we made our way to the stairs. We fell onto his bed gracefully. Having Alex on top of me felt so right. Like pancakes and syrup. Coffee and cream.

I
’m not embarrassed anymore. No one’s here to interrupt us. I rolled him over and broke away from his kiss to pull off my sweater and shirt. I rolled his shirt up and Alex sat up. He brought me back to his lips and turned me onto my back.

“Are you sure about this?”
He asked finding my eyes. I arched my body toward his, telling him I was. I kicked off my heels and let him undress me. Every time his fingers brushed against my skin was heavenly.

I was lost in his touch, his kisses, and his warmth
.

This is what I wan
t. This is what I always wanted.

When I felt his lips moving down my body, I froze.

“Alex.” I whispered. This is the first time I’ll be doing this since the rape. I’m ready but I’m scared. My body was violated. Now someone else is going to know me on a more personal level. He’s going to be right there…

Alex’s
eyes lifted and I tried to sound calm.

“This is the first–” I closed my eyes and gripped his sheets.
Just say it. He needs to know. “Go slow.” I managed to say.

“Yeah.” He whispered. It was the sexiest ‘yeah’ I’ve heard in my life.

As his lips trailed up my inner thigh, I relaxed.

He won’t hurt me.

He won’t hurt me.

He won’t…

…ahhh…

I woke up feeling like I was in a dream. Last night was amazing. No, amazing isn’t it. There are no words to describe last night. It was just the best night of my life.

I sat up
in bed and saw the clock on the nightstand. 7:30 a.m. Shit. I’m going to be late for school. I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m trying to hunt down a rapist.

“Alex. Alex
, wake up.” I said running to his side of the bed and grabbing my clothes off the floor. “Alex.” The blanket is only covering his lower abdomen and I stopped moving. Oh, the things that passed my mind. I’d love to go back into bed and let him wrap me in his arms but I have to go to school. I shook his arm. “Alex, we’re going to be late.”

He
moved an inch then he turned to see the clock. He got out of bed as I bent down to get my shirt and sweater. I turned toward the window and put them on because he’s naked. I can’t be around that right now.

I’m going back
to school for two reasons. Mrs. Diaz and to see if I can find
him
before he hurts anyone else. I don’t have time to go back home and change so I’m just going to have to wear this.

I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair. I was glowing. My eyes had that sparkle
they use to have and I felt like the old me but at the same time, I felt like a new Emily. It’s the Alex effect.

Alex got dressed
while I headed downstairs and grabbed my purse from the kitchen. He was waiting at the front door with the keys to his Audi in hand.

We drove in silence as we headed to school.
It wasn’t really an awkward silence but I didn’t know what to say. He parked in the school parking lot and as we headed to the front of the school, I stopped him in his tracks. “Alex, did you…were we safe?” I asked. I just have to know. I’ve been on a dry spell since summer so birth control was not handy. I don’t remember if he used a condom or not. The sex was that amazing but after what happened to me, I don’t want anything unexpected popping up in my life.

“We were.
” Alex said glancing at me. Oh, thank god.

“Emily
!” I turned around to Tiffany running up to us. She threw herself into me and hugged me. “What are you doing here?”

A guy
with brown hair and brown eyes, I think his name is Giovanni, stopped next to Tiffany. Oh… this must be the guy she was talking about. “Hi. Giovanni, right?” I asked.

“You two know each other?” Tiffany asked.

“Yeah, he’s in homeroom and we did a project together junior year. Don’t remember what about.” I said trying to think about it.

“Something for chemistry
.” Giovanni said staring at me. Alex slipped his hand in mine and I blushed when Tiffany saw it. She’ll want details.

“Well
, let’s go. I’m never late.” She said. We have five minutes until homeroom but everyone is still digging around in their lockers. Everyone who passed by stared at us. It was weird. I don’t want people staring at me. I got my ID out and noticed Mrs. Bond wasn’t there. She’s probably busy. As we stopped at Mrs. Diaz’s room I saw Bryan at his locker. He looked up and saw us. I was half expecting him to smile or wave at me or just say anything to me but he didn’t. He looked me over as Tiffany said hi then he went into his class. He ignored me.

Everyone was
out of the hallways and in their classes when I stepped into class. I walked right in hoping to bitch at Mrs. Diaz for not calling me back or even visiting us when she got back, only she wasn’t there. I abruptly stopped short and Alex bumped into me from behind. Everyone stared.

“Can I help you
, Miss?” An old man asked from Mrs. Diaz’s desk. I saw Zach in the front of the class with the same group of guys he was with when I punched him. His nose looks better.

“Stay her
e.” I whispered to Alex. “Mrs. Diaz?” I said to the sub.

“S
he hasn’t been in for almost two weeks.” He said. I don’t understand. Mrs. Bond told me she’d be back Wednesday. I turned toward Alex, who had the door open, waiting. “Do you belong in this class?”

“Yes
. I have to go to the office.” I said turning back to the sub.

“You nee
d a pass.” I rolled my eyes.

“Wait in
the hall.” I whispered to Alex. I need to do something and this guy is holding me back. I walked down the aisle past everyone. I even glanced at Zach and gave him an apologetic look. I didn’t mean to hit him.

“What’s your name?”
The sub asked.

“
Emily Vasquez.” He wrote something down and handed me a piece of paper with
hall pass
written on it. I gave Tiffany the look to call me later then I met Alex in the hallway. “He probably would have kept me longer if you were inside and you don’t let me go anywhere alone.” I said as we walked down to the second floor. “Mrs. Bond said she’d be here last Wednesday.” We walked into the office where Mrs. Bond was.

“How can I help you today?”
She said with a cheerful voice.

“Did you talk to Mrs. Diaz again?”
I asked.

“No
t after she called to say she’s be back Wednesday.”

“What about her husband?”
I asked. She furrowed her brow.

“No, they’re probably
still on vacation then.”

“Have you been to her house?”
I asked. This isn’t like her to just disappear and not call anyone. At least she called Mrs. Bond but still.

“I’m
passing by today. I’ll let you know if she’s there.” She said.

“T
hanks.”

We left the office and I leaned against a wall. Wha
t the fuck is going on? She wouldn’t leave and not call us to give an update if she’s vacationing longer. I grabbed my phone to text Tiffany.

Me:
Hey what time does class end? School?

Tiffany:
20 min and 9:50

“Class is over in twenty minutes. Do you just want to wait somewhere?”
I asked Alex. I’m looking forward to my next class. Bryan sits next to me so we’ll finally talk.

“Yeah,
stairs?” Alex asked.

“I have to talk to
Bryan.” I sighed as we sat down.

Alex
propped his elbows on his knees and looked over at me. “Maybe he needs some time. I don’t know how he felt about you but if that were me and I found out you’re my sister, I’d freak. I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“I freaked out to
o! We’re best friends, nothing could separate us. Now…he missed my birthday, he doesn’t talk to me and if he looks at me he looks away faster then I can say hi. He can at least pretend I’m here.” I said.
Calm down, Em. He’ll talk to you.
“What are you doing for Christmas?” I asked when I couldn’t stop thinking of Bryan.

“
Nothing.” Alex said.

“Come
over my house. I don’t think we’re doing anything special so you don’t have to bring anything. I mean
don’t
bring anything. Just come by. There’ll be food.” I said.

“
Your family won’t mind?” He asked with a smile.

“I think my family is past the minding phase. They like you. I l
ike you. That’s all that matters.” I thought about having him back in my bed. That would be nice. Then I remembered the talk with Scarlett about how Declan can smell sex in the air. I laughed.

“What
?” Alex asked.

I shook my head as my laugh echoed through the halls.

“Something Scarlett said to me yesterday.” I guess we can’t do anything while he’s there. No problem. “So, you’ll come by?”

“Sure
.” He said nodding. “It’ll be the first Christmas without my family.” He said softly. My eyes watched him carefully then he slowly looked up at me. “Are you sure you want me there?”

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sure
.” No one should be alone on holidays. Especially Christmas.

The bel
l rang a few minutes after and the students were back in the halls. Alex and I walked to our next class, English. We went downstairs to the basement. I tried getting there fast but everyone was in my way. Once we reached the classroom I looked at my assigned seat in the front of the class and Bryan wasn’t there. I scanned the room and saw him sitting all the way in the back.

“
Miss Vasquez, Mr. Payne. Nice to see you’ve come back from vacation already. To bad we start tomorrow. Take a seat.” Mr. Smith said. He isn’t a mean guy. I actually think he likes having me in class. When no one answered his questions, he relies on me.

As I walked to my seat
, I stared down the aisle toward Bryan and he never looked up. I sat down and pulled out my phone.

Me:
Bryan you can’t ignore me forever.

He didn’t reply. I turned in my seat
and I saw his phone in his hands. He looked up at me and then put his phone away. Bryan lifted his hood over his head and slumped on the desk.

I feel
like I’m choking up. My heart hurts. I feel like nothing.

I glanced up and saw Tiffany talking to someone beside her.
Then Alex caught my eye. I know what he’s thinking. Bryan needs time but I can’t wait any longer. I need my best friend back. I need my brother back. Before I knew it, class was over and I headed to Trigonometry. Same as in English, Bryan sat far away from me. He never looked up at me. He just pretended I wasn’t there.

I nev
er felt so rejected in my life.

Alex i
sn’t in this class but he said if I needed him to just text him and he’ll be there. It’s only eight-thirty. Tiffany mentioned something about fourth period being cancelled so the teachers can leave early and the students can be out faster.

Tiffany sat next to
Bryan because I told her to. She texted me but I didn’t want texts from her. I want Bryan’s. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. He won’t look at me. He wouldn’t talk to me. I grabbed my purse and walked down to Ms. Griffin’s desk.

“I have to go.” I
said as a tear slid down my face.

“Miss Vasquez,
You know the rules. No one leaves the class after it’s started.” She said. I turned and saw Tiffany hit Bryan on the shoulder then she said something to him.

“Can’t you make an exception?”
I asked as another tear slid down my cheek. Bryan saw it. I saw his muscles moving as if he wanted to get up but he never did. That hurt the most.

“Emily, please
go back to your seat.” I stared at Ms. Griffin. Her brown hair is in a messy bun and her brown eyes look tired. We both have a lot on our minds.

I turned toward the door and walked rig
ht out. Nobody came to stop me. I went into the nearest bathroom and balled my eyes out. I hate that Bryan isn’t talking to me. I hate that Mrs. Diaz isn’t here. I hate that I don’t know who raped me. I hate that I was raped in the first fucking place!

The bathroom door opened
and I heard footsteps coming closer to me. Then arms held me. I leaned into those arms that are always there for me.

“I know it’s hard, Spencer
, but you have to be strong.” Tiffany said. “He doesn’t want you to feel like this. He’s just messed up right now.”

“How long will that take
, Tiffany? How long will he ignore me? I can’t deal with this anymore. We were best friends and then this shit happens.” I said. She pulled out my phone.

“Text Alex. Tell him to take you outta here.” I didn’t reach for the phone. Sh
e sighed and did it herself. “Great. Now clean yourself up. He’ll be here any minute.”

I washed my face in the sink and waited for the redness to go away.

“Why did Ms. Griffin let you out of class?” I asked.

“You’re like her favorite student. She wanted to make sure you’re al
l right.” There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Coming.” Tiffany held my face in her hands. “We still have to talk about that.” She pointed to the door, toward Alex. We walked over and Alex leaned against the wall.

“Was class that bad?”
He asked. Tiffany walked back to class and gave me thumbs up. She wouldn’t stop staring at Alex either.

“You hav
e no idea.” I said.

He
grabbed my hand led me to the stairs toward the parking lot. Alex started the car and drove. We were parked in front of my house five minutes later. “What are we doing here?” I asked.

“You didn’t come home last night. Maybe your family worried and called me. I told th
em you were at school and I would drop you off after.” He said leaving the car to open the door for me. Man, I should have gotten out sooner. I don’t want men to hold the door open for me. I’m not some queen of England.

M
om’s car wasn’t in the driveway. There’s a patrol car parked on the other side of the street though. Officer Reynolds is seated inside. He waved at me so I waved back. Officer Miles was sitting on a chair outside.