Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (4 page)

I wasn’t sure if this was because the idea
excited me or horrified me. I locked eyes with his and asked directly, “Are you interviewing me for the position of ‘Fuck buddy’?”

His face broke into the most heartbreakingly handsome smile
. “Ah, you are so smart, I love it. Intelligence, as well as beauty, the only thing left now is for me to be inside you to determine whether I’ve hit the fucking jackpot.” He grinned, raising his eyebrow at me.

My
 jaw wanted to drop, but I didn’t let it out of principle. My first thought was that I should turn and run right back up the hill and never looked back. I couldn’t though. I wasn’t ready to walk away. I was too intrigued by him.

The silence between us was
 deafening. He sighed, stood up, and stroked my hair. “I’m twenty-four years old Lily, music is the only love I have room for.

“
I don’t do romance, and I’m not a hearts-and-flowers kind of guy. I’m a highly sexed young man, and I do just fine for offers.” He shrugs. “I’m not saying this because I’m an arrogant bastard, and I don’t usually proposition women; they come on to me.”

He
 sighed again, and shrugged. “It’s just how it is.” I didn’t doubt what he said for a minute.

“
Well, I have to admire your honesty, it is refreshing.” I heard myself tell him, and tried to hide the shock from my face. 
WTF, Lily?

He swallowed and said in a
low, husky voice, “I just feel a connection between us.” He motioned his finger between us. “An acute sexual tension if you will. It could make for some pretty amazing sex between us. I think we have great chemistry. I felt it even before I looked at you.”

I
 wanted to call BS on that. “Wow, I’ve heard some chat up lines in my time Alfie. You know just how to seduce a woman, huh?” I smiled, sounded sarcastic, and hoped to goodness he hadn’t seen just how naïve I was.

Alfie gave me a lopsided half smile again, flashing his dimple at me; too cute really, and leaned in toward me. He hooked his finger on the V of my t-shirt and tugged me closer to him.

My mouth went dry
, and my gaze fell on his lips. He looked so sexually charged. He smelled slightly musky, masculine but clean, with a faint hint of the scent of a bodywash I couldn’t place.

When I made eye contact, his hazel eyes were flecked green and sparkled as he gazed intensely back at me. His head dipped as his face drew near to mine. His lips stopped only inches from my face. His other hand held my throat loosely, before he ran this up toward my jawline, and around to the nape of my neck,
 
wow!

His touch sent a charge of electricity along the line his hand travelled. The electrical current trailed his touch and made my core drip juices onto my thigh. His other hand slid up to cup my chin.

I noticed his eyes drop to my lips, and he dragged his thumb lightly across them. He licked his lips and closed the space between us, pressing his lips lightly on to mine.

The
 kiss was featherlight, but the act was like a defibrillator jolting high-voltage electricity into my body at the same time. The pleasure I felt was so arousing, like no other kiss had ever affected me before.

That
 moist, hot tongue of his teased and traced my lips, then it parted them as it breached into my mouth. The hot, wet taste of him made me moan softly. He chuckled softly into my mouth, and it was as sexy as hell.

It was only a kiss yet, I was
 so slick between my thighs, my folds swollen and aching. The only places he touched me were above my shoulders. He was kissing me slowly, and I’d never felt anything like it before.

His hand moved up from my neck and sifted through my long hair. His palm wound around it as he gently tugged it back then applied pressure to the back of my head, deepening the kiss. He growled
, and it made the whole act so erotic.

There was
 so much chemistry running through my body. I moaned loudly, and almost went over the edge with the sensation of his mouth on mine. Suddenly he growled again and dragged his lips away from me. “Holy, shit! I love the noises you make when I kiss you,” he breathed.

I was
 almost senseless, my body felt bereaved at the loss of his touch, and I realized that this was the first time in my life I’ve really been kissed. I stood panting, breathless. Nothing else before that kiss ever compared to what I had just experienced with him.

Dragging
 his lips away from my mouth and down my neck, his head rose to hold my gaze. He nodded at me breathlessly, his eyes were wide. “Uh huh!” he said gruffly, clearing his throat and touching his lips with his calloused fingertips.

He looked
 dazed. After a few seconds his voice was still low and husky and he muttered, “Fuck!” His eyes widened further, and a smile slowly stretched over his face. “Damn it. I’ve never felt like that before.” He shook his head, and smirked.

“Way more than
 I even suspected. You felt it too, right?” He wagged his finger between us. “This kind of connection doesn’t happen every day. I just knew it. Oh, well shit, I’m even more than intrigued by you now,” he said grinning again.

I lowered my head again because I was sure he would see the lust in my eyes. “Well Alfie, casual sex isn’t something I’m
comfortable doing, but I’ll give it some thought.”

He dipped his knees and bent his head to get eye contact again. When he locked
his gaze on mine he smirked wickedly. “Uh huh…you too? Huh?”

“Damn I have the biggest boner now, look.” He thrust his groin forward and pointed at the straining bulge in his jeans and was still smirking. “How can you say no to me now?”

I blushed, shocked at his reaction, but worse still, I was really turned on by him. The look on his face was…downright dirty. My panties were drenched. I couldn’t believe his blatant approach toward me. I tried to avoid too much eye contact with him for fear he’d see what I was thinking.
Calm down Lily!
 I smiled slowly, trying to appear unaffected. “Well Alfie, it’s not something I’m accustomed to doing, but like I said, I’ll certainly give it some thought.”

I tried
 to say it as if I could take it or leave it, and this kind of thing happened every day, but when I said it, I sounded breathless and my voice gave away some of my emotions. When I thought I’d pulled it off, my body let me down again, and I started to blush.

His
 wide smile flashed his dimple again, and he thrust his palm out to me. “Give me your cell.” I reached into my purse and handed it to him. I watched as he punched his number in.

He
 labelled his contact name as ‘SEXPERT’. His cell started ringing, and I realized he’d rung his phone from mine. “Okay, now I have yours too.” He winked and handed my cell back to me, and I laughed at his corny moniker when he gave it back to me.

“Want to think about it?” He looked hopefully at me. I took his cell and labelled my
contact name as ‘Pink Lady’ and boldly handed it back to him. He read it and scrunched his brows at me looking puzzled. ‘Pink Lady?’

I
smirked, feeling really bold that I had the nerve to do such a thing. “Well, if you’re touting for a ‘fuck buddy’, then she should have a name that implies it.” Alfie’s eyes widened immediately at my reference to the slang reference of the sensitive flesh inside the entrance of a woman’s vagina as ‘pink.’

“
Well, my beautiful Lily, if my proposal is something you want to pursue with me, I just want to say one more thing. There are no guarantees in this life. I can’t say you won’t get hurt. Primal sex is a need in all of us. I can’t offer commitment, but I will respect you as a person and give you honesty and consideration.”

He went on,
 “If you decide to have other partners I will respect your right to form emotional bonds. I don’t want to own you honey; you would be free to break the arrangement at any time, as would I.”

My immediate retort to the arrogance of
him, implying that I would fall for him was to say, “And likewise, I wouldn’t be able to guarantee that you wouldn’t get hurt either.” A fleeting look of consideration passed through his eyes and was gone in an instant.

“No worries here
,” he said deadpan.

I dipped down to the grass and picked up my guitar case, slinging it over my shoulder and tugged at the strap. “Lily?”
 

I wondered if he was being arrogant and expected me to agree immediately, but I looked at him as if I didn’t have a care in the world, and kept my voice as even as possible. “I need to head out now, Alfie, I have plans for tonight, but I’ll consider
your interesting offer and get back to you.”

He
 sat back down on the grass, and laid back, casual, one leg bent at the knee, facing me, perched up on one elbow. “Take your time, I know I can be full on, but I believe in shooting from the hip. I’m straight and uncomplicated.”

I walked away trying not to look back, even though I wanted
to more than anything. I was excited by his attention, but I didn’t really believe that I could consider the prospect of doing something that reckless. I heard him chuckle to himself, so I turned my head and called over my shoulder, “I’m not fazed by your offer, Alfie.”

I
 had a raw sexual need that I wanted to explore. I held up my open hand, giving a small wave to him behind me. Even though he didn’t say it very loudly, Alfie commented in a normal speaking voice. “I hope you get the guts to call me Lily; we’d be fucking great together.”

It was a daunting thought.
Was I mature enough to do something like that?
I was already sure that I definitely wanted something with this guy, even at the risk of being burned by him. The thought frightened the crap out of me. I needed to talk to Saffy and Holly about his proposition. I wondered if they would laugh or be shocked by it.

I
 didn’t feel it was something that I wanted to keep secret from them. But I knew that if it was something that I was going to do, I definitely didn’t want them to know exactly who the guy was.

What Alfie wanted from me was
 on equal terms – a no strings, no emotions, physical connection for sexual gratification. It seemed really sordid and belied all of my beliefs, but in terms of where my life was at, I felt it might just keep things in order for me.

I could
 explore my sexuality without any emotional involvement. I’d be free to concentrate on music, picking and choosing when to spend time with him when it suited us both.

I headed up to the apartment still contemplating my strange induction to campus and Alfie’s proposition. I struggled to contain the feelings of excitement and
 shame that I’d actually consider doing what he suggested. Alfie aroused me in ways I’d never experienced before with just a kiss.

When I got home I was ravenous,
realizing I’d missed lunch, spending my time with Alfie instead. I’d forgotten to eat, hell, I’d forgotten to breathe at some points. What he was able to do to me with one kiss was mindblowing. I found myself weighing things out.

I was in a new place where no one knew me, so
 there was no reputation to tarnish yet. It would be ridiculous not to find out what else he had to offer and equally ridiculous that I was talking myself into his insane proposition. But the more I thought about it, the more enticing it became.

Saffy
 was sitting on the balcony, her legs drawn up at the knees, nursing a strong black coffee in her hands, when I entered the apartment. “Hey, Saffy!” I went over and hugged her.

She put her hand up, stopping me and whispered
, “Shush, I’m delicate this afternoon. I’m never doing shots again!” She groaned.

Her voice was croaky. She told me that she and Holly had gone to a bar and got
ten into a shooters competition with a couple of tourists there.

Saffy
 had slept off the liquor, but had only woken up about fifteen minutes ago with a blinding headache. She commented that Holly had been sick, and was passed out on her bed too. I shook my head and smiled, thinking they were taking their vows to party during their newfound freedom seriously.

I hugged her again and walked over to the fridge
. I reached in and began rummaging around for something to eat. “Have you eaten yet?” I asked, peering inside the fridge.

“Goodness, no thanks! I couldn’t… I’d barf
,” she said quietly.

I turned to look at her
, trying not to laugh, but fought a smirk that threatened my lips. “It’s a pity you’re hungover, because I wanted your take on something, but if you’re feeling unwell it may cloud your judgement on this one,” I said.

She bunched her brows
. “What is it?” she called indignantly to me as I walked into my bedroom to change my top. I laughed as I quickly pulled on a white tank top, before walking back through the condo to her, knowing that I had piqued her interest.

“Nope, this one needs
a clear head, and you are not in that place this afternoon yet.” I made her a ham sandwich and placed it in front of her. She groaned hard when she looked at it, puffing her cheeks out, while a hand slid across her stomach.

It took until dinnertime for both
 Saffy and Holly to be back in the land of the living. Holly recovered better than Saffy, to be fair, and she said it was due to the fact that Saffy drank way more than her when she showed off, drinking two to her one for the last three shots.

We went to dinner
, and I broached the subject of Alfie, to see their reactions and seek their advice. “Okay, girls, I was propositioned today.” I giggled and couldn’t believe I was actually saying it, “I am… considering it.”

I told them about Alfie, although not by name, and they were both animated, questioning me about him. “First
off, for safety, is the guy really a student?” Holly asked. I hadn’t thought about that, but decided that he couldn’t be anything else after sitting song writing on the grass. He just fit in perfectly.

Saffy
 was
more
basic in her line of questioning. “What does he look like? I mean is he all that great looking, that he thinks he can proposition someone like you? I mean fuck, Lily, your looks are shit hot, and you can probably have any man you want anyway.”

I
 tried to find the words to sum him up, but instead decided a gesture was more appropriate. I put my hands over my heart and pump them in and out. “He’s breathtaking… sexy!” I said, giggling, still struggling for words to do him justice.

“Kind of young
rock god… talented, slim waist, broad shoulders, muscular, ripped, inked, and packing ‘hidden talents’ I think.” I smirked and blushed at my own crude joke.

“OMG, Sex on a stick you mean?”
 Saffy helped me.

“That’s it exactly
,” I said, pointing at her, nodding, and stuffing a large piece of chocolate cake in my mouth. I licked my lips and caught some of the chocolate that had escaped. My eyes widened when she stared at me, and we both burst out laughing.