Entangled (Free Indeed Book 1) (9 page)

“I’m ok.” Her reply was so soft that he almost didn’t hear it. Her confirmation made him feel like a great weight lifted off of his chest, and he felt like he could finally breathe again. Without even thinking, Jason pressed a kiss to her temple as he held her securely against his chest.

The whole time Shuggy instinctively knew her mistress was in distress and just calmly remained by her side, laying her head down on Allie’s lap in silent support.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Jason asked. “Do you have any idea who that may have been?”

“I don’t know.” She whispered, “I didn’t even realize he was behind me at first. Shuggy did though; she started barking and growling…she knew that he was bad. I ran home and managed to lock us in the stairwell, but then he was trying to break in. And then you came.” She looked up at him with a little smile, “I suppose I need to thank you yet again. You always seem to be saving me from something.”

“You definitely don’t have to thank me for tonight. I’m just glad I was here and able to help in time.”

Allie remained silent at his comment. The look on her face told him her thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and he wished like crazy he could crack into her and get her to open up. She always kept everything tucked away inside of herself. It was hard to even tell what she was thinking most of the time because she kept a very neutral, impassive look on her face.

“It’s ok for you to ask for help, Allie.” He softly added.

Her eyes closed for a moment and she released a deep sigh, “I’ve had to take care of myself for a long time now. It’s hard for me to trust other people.”

Jason reached over and took her clasped hands into his, “Well, you’re in Serenity now. You’ll find these people are different.” He gave her tense hands a comforting, little squeeze, “These are good people, you can trust them. They’ll try their hardest not to let you down, and if they do, they’ll do everything they can to make it right.”

* * *

“
Y
ou can take
a chance on them Allie, it’ll be worth it. You can take a chance on me.”

Allie mentally added on the
it’ll be worth it
to taking a chance on him as well. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to trust him, because she did, so very much. But all the men in her community had always been absolute douchebags. They always lorded over the women around them in a superior and haughty manner. The women were expected to be subservient and submissive to the man’s wishes. And at any time, if the man of the household thought his wife or daughter weren’t acting how they expected of them, it was their god-given duty to discipline that woman, whether that be through a beating, deprivation, or some other form of punishment.

Her father did that repeatedly, and she saw signs of it in Paul as well. Paul was Gideon’s disciple, he would do whatever Gideon instructed him to do. The thought of now, opening her life to include another man...well, it was a scary thought.

Allie looked up into Jason’s kind face. He wanted her to trust him. It was written all over his face. But she also knew he was holding back, so he wouldn’t push too much and scare her off. The fact that he was willing to take it slow and at her pace, that kind of made her feel special. He was deferring to her wishes, and she couldn’t think of another time in her life where a man had ever done that for her before.

She took a deep breath, “Do you—” she halted, and then continued softly, “do you want to stay?”

“Yes.” He instantly answered understanding that she was asking to not be left alone. Relief flash across her face at his reply. While she was nervous to ask him to stay with her, she was even more afraid of being alone after what happened. “I can sleep on the couch, and don’t worry, I’m a light sleeper. I’ll make sure no one hurts you, Allie.”

She clenched his hand in appreciation, and then gave him a soft smile, “You can use the bathroom first if you want. I’ll get the couch made up for you so it’ll be ready when you’re done.” He gave her one last embrace before getting up from the couch and walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

As the bathroom door shut, Allie let out the huge breath she had been holding. She had been afraid to ask him to stay. Afraid that he would say no, while at the same time afraid that he would say yes. She really didn’t want to be alone with that man out there, which was the reason asking him had won out. But twenty years now of fundamentalist upbringing was hard to shake loose. Her father would beat her horribly and then lock her in the cellar until she repented over her evilness if he knew she was just alone with a man, let alone actually have one spend the night.

But you know what, screw her father. She wasn’t going to live under his self-righteous, sanctimonious thumb anymore. Damnit (yes, this situation deserved swearing, and it felt good), she was her own person now, and responsible for her own actions. She wasn’t going to get drugged out on meth and whore out her body to every strange man that came along. But she
liked
Jason, like really, really liked him. With growing up the way she had, the thought of marriage terrified her and deep down, she secretly never wanted to marry. In her group, it almost seemed like marriage was a means to an end, just so they could propagate and increase the size of their followers. And it terrified her. She didn’t want to be trapped in a life with a man she didn’t even like but was told that God would give her a holy love for. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life having his babies, just so he could give away the girls into other loveless marriages, and raise the boys to be pompous jackasses who looked down on women.

But with Jason it was different. Sure, he pissed her off in the beginning, but honestly, that’s probably because she was trying so hard to be independent and because she wanted to do everything on her own without having to rely on and trust other people. But Jason was just the type of man, who you
could
trust. He didn’t demand it or force it from you, it was just there all along waiting for her to reach out and hold onto it.

Allie walked over to the small closet where she kept the spare linens and pulled out some sheets, a pillowcase, and a warm blanket. She made up the couch quickly and snagged one of the pillows from her bed to swap out the case for him. She lay it down on one end of the couch just as she heard the door open and saw him walk from the bathroom.

“All set,” he said as he walked over to her. He looked over the bed she had made up for him and smiled, “This is great, thanks.”

And then just because she wanted to, she reached up and hugged him again, wrapping her arms around him. He felt so good, and so strong. She could tell the embrace pleased him because he hugged her back even tighter.

“I’m going to take Shuggs out to take care of her business while you’re getting ready for bed. I’ll be right outside the stairwell door, and I’ll keep an eye on everything, ok?”

Allie nodded, “Thank you.”

Jason scooped up the little, energetic bundle of fur that was scampering around their legs and turned to walk downstairs.

After watching them leave the room, Allie grabbed a set of her more conservative pajamas and stepped into the bathroom to change. She knew Jason was giving her space while she got ready for bed, and she really appreciated his thoughtfulness. Also, it was so nice of him to take Shuggy out. Allie wasn’t sure if she was ready to face that stairwell again this soon. It was going to take a while and several trips up and down the stairs before she was going to be able to get that pounding out of her ears.

She dressed for bed quickly, taking advantage of the time he was gone. On one of her frequent trips to Garb & Gab, she had purchased some really girly nighties, and that was what she tended to wear when sleeping. But she didn’t think she was a liberated enough feminist yet, to pull off wearing that with someone else in the room. So she just went with the safe bet...a flannel top and pant set. Warm, cozy, and completely covered. Honestly, it was a big enough step on her part just to be alone in the same room with a man, let alone have one stay the night. No point in going too crazy and try and seduce him with a sexy nightie. Not that she wanted to seduce him...well, maybe she did. Darnit! Yes, yes she did want to seduce him, but that was so not her. Heck, she wouldn’t even know where to start and would probably come off looking like a desperate hussy.

Allie sighed, and then did the safe thing. She brushed her teeth, took care of her other needs, and then climbed into bed. Oh well, maybe tomorrow she’d be braver in doing what her heart wanted....or, maybe next year she’d finally get her courage up. At the rate she was going, it would be after Jason was married to someone else, with five kids. Allie grunted in annoyance and pulled her comforter up to cover her.

A knock sounded from the front door, causing her to tense for a moment, until it cracked open and Jason’s voice came through, “It’s just us.” Allie relaxed instantly as the door pushed the rest of the way open and Shuggy bounded through, followed by Jason. Shuggs spotted her mistress immediately and dashed to the bed and up the makeshift stair that Allie had arranged with an ottoman. Her puppy greeted her with kisses like she had been gone for days instead of minutes, before turning in a couple of circles and then flopping down on the bed.

“Goodnight,” Jason smiled over at her as he removed his shoes and then turned out the main lights.

She watched as he made his way back to the couch and crawled under the blankets. “Goodnight.” She really hoped he’d be comfortable enough. Granted, she knew him well enough now to know that he’d never complain, but she wanted him to at least be able to sleep without tossing and turning all night.

She felt Shuggy get back up and then thump down the ottoman to the floor, but she just let her go. Shuggy would come back when she was good and ready. That was why she put the step there for her in the first place...so she wouldn’t have to keep picking Shuggs up every time she wanted to get up on the bed. Allie leaned over to turn off her bedside lamp throwing the room into darkness.

She was so thankful that Jason had stayed. If he hadn’t, she’d be wide awake right now with every single light in the apartment on instead of almost falling asleep. He gave her a sense of peace and security that she really needed after what had happened earlier.

“Ack!” She heard Jason exclaim from across the room.

“What? What happened?” She shouted as she jerked over to turn the lamp back on, “Are you ok?”

“Shuggy just nuzzled her way under the blanket and kissed my feet,” Jason’s laughter boomed across the small space.

Allie laughed with him, “You got drive-by-Shugg’d,” she snickered. Shuggy content now that her shuggyness was complete, happily scampered back up the makeshift stair and jumped on the bed. She cuddled into the warmth of Allie’s side and promptly fell asleep.

“Goodnight Jason.” Allie smiled over at him, as she reached back to turn off the lamp.

“Goodnight Allie.” Even with the light off, she could hear the smile in his voice.

A
llie woke
up to the most wonderful smell in existence. She blinked the early morning sleepiness away in confusion. It must be a dream, but she’d swear she smelled coffee. Allie turned over to look in the direction of the kitchen just to find Shuggy, barely inches away from her face sitting upright and looking adorable. Allie gasped in surprise at how close she was and then laughed. Happy that her mistress was now awake, Shuggy proceeded in bombarding her face with rapid back to back kisses. Allie snagged her little puppy and pulled it to her chest to return the love.

Allie looked over her dog's little head to see her guest standing in her kitchen. Dang, she wouldn't mind waking up to this every morning. Not only was it a gorgeous view, but it came with coffee. She rolled out of her bed and padded over to where Jason stood by the coffee maker. Allie leaned over the carafe and inhaled deeply to let the scent of coffee fill her down to the soul.

“You are like the sexiest man alive right now.” She sighed in pleasure.

Jason burst out laughing, “Well thank ya kindly ma’am.”

He handed her a coffee mug, and she repaid him with a bright, but still somewhat sleepy smile. Jason took a sip from his own cup as he watched her pour the coffee into the mug, and then added a generous amount of sugar and creamer. When she took that first sip, a look of utter bliss covered her face, and she sighed in contentment.

“So what’s on your agenda for today?” Jason asked her as she took another sip of coffee.

“Nothing really. I have today and tomorrow off work, so I was planning on just staying home, doing chores, that type of thing.”

“Spend the day with me.” It was more of a statement than a question, but he said it with such a charming smile that she lost her ability to speak for a moment. “I need to get home and feed my dog before he starts attacking the food in the pantry, but I’d love to show you around the ranch, if you’re interested?”

She smiled back at him. That actually sounded perfect, and it meant she didn’t have to spend the day alone thinking about her mugger which was an added bonus. “I’d love to. Is it ok if Shuggy comes?”

“Of course. She’ll love it out there. Lots of space to run and things to sniff. And Malcolm loves other dogs, so they should get along great.”

“Great!” She literally bounced with excitement. “I’ll go get changed.”

She turned to head back to the bathroom mug in hand, just as she heard him ask, “Do you want me to put some more coffee in a travel mug for the drive over?”

Allie threw back a quick look over her shoulder, “I think I love you.”

He laughed and gave her a wink as she went to get ready, and he went to pour her another mug of heavenly goodness.

* * *

A
llie finished
the last of her coffee just as they pulled up to Jason’s home. Her jaw dropped open when she saw the size of it. The place was massive! It was a very classic white, two-story ranch with a wrap around porch. But it was so big, and the open land around it seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see.

They could already hear Malcolm barking from inside the house, excited now that his master was home again. Jason jumped out of the truck and then walked over to her door giving her a hand as she climbed down. He led her up the stone walkway to the front porch just as a large fifty plus pound chocolate lab bounded around the corner of the house and across the porch to greet Jason. He dropped to his knees as he pet the beautiful dog, “Hey there Mal, I missed you, buddy.” The dog whined happily as his tail thumped back and forth. “I have someone for you to meet, big guy.” Jason said turning back to Allie, “This is Allie and Shuggs, make them feel welcome, ok.”

Malcolm finally noticed the puppy in Allie’s arms for the first time. Shuggy was wiggling like crazy, wanting to get down and play with this new dog that she wasn’t friends with yet. Allie gently placed Shuggs on the ground so they could sniff and get to know each other. The fact that the larger dog was over forty pounds bigger than her didn’t bother Shuggy. She just acted like Mal was her best friend in existence and immediately wanted to play.

Jason pushed the door open further, and gestured for Allie to go ahead and enter. She walked into the gorgeous entryway and looked around as Jason and the pups walked in behind her. It was a big, beautiful open floor plan and she was able to see through the living room into the connected dining room and kitchen. The dark hardwood floors spanned the entire space, and the furniture made the space both modern and cozy at the same time. It definitely had a woman’s touch, and it was so big for just one person.

As if sensing what she was thinking, Jason explained, “It’s our family ranch. Been in the family for three generations now. My parents always wanted to fill this place with kids but wound up only having me. They both passed a couple of years back in a car accident, so it’s been just me since then.”

“Oh Jason, I’m so sorry!” Allie gasped.

“Thank you.” He smiled sadly over at her, “They did live a very happy life together, full of love and good times; and they got to go together, which I know they would have preferred. I can’t imagine either of them living without the other.”

“I lost my mom when I was fifteen,” Allie murmured softly, “and my father was never really around to begin with, so I kind of know how you feel.”

Jason reached over and squeezed her hand in support. “Since we never had the whole big family thing growing up, it’s my wish to someday fill this place up with a wife and a passel of kids...make this place the home it was always meant to be.” He then flashed her his charming smile, changing the subject to something happier, “Want some breakfast?”

“I’d love some.”

Jason led Allie into the kitchen and gestured for her to have a seat at the island, while he pulled eggs, bacon, and vegetables from the fridge. She watched as he quickly proceeded to chop and mix the ingredients needed to make each of them an omelet. He was surprisingly easy to talk to and kept up a carefree, lighthearted banter while he cooked. Shuggy entertained herself by following Malcolm around wherever he went as if they were best buds.

“You said your father was never around very much, were your parents separated?” Jason asked as he cracked the eggs into a bowl.

“No,” Allie sighed, “it’s complicated. And hard to explain to outsiders...people outside of our community.”

“Try me.” Jason smiled at her encouragingly.

Gosh, when he looked at her like that, she didn’t care how crappy the first twenty years of her life were. In this moment, here with him, it was hard to care or even remember all the beatings, and pressure, and stress that was commonplace for them growing up.

“My family was part of a super-religious, fundamentalist sect. We lived in a private community, separate from worldly things and worldly pleasures. We were supposed to be
separated unto God
.” Jason’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Obviously whatever he expected, that wasn’t even close.

“My father was our leader,” she continued, “he was called the Patriarch since he was like the father of our group. He traveled, sometimes weekly, going to different churches around the country. He said he was following God’s call to
spread God’s word
to other people, and at the same time, to try and recruit more people to join our community, Free Indeed it was called.”

“So your dad’s God told him it was more important to spend time with strangers than with his own family?”

Allie nodded, “But it was ok, we actually preferred him being away. Things were less...stressful, when he was away.”

Jason stopped chopping the vegetables and turned his head to look over at her as she continued. “My mom was wonderful. She was happy, friendly, and probably the sweetest person you’d ever meet. But she changed whenever my dad was around...we all did. We always had to keep quiet and never make trouble. My father didn’t like noise, and seven children tended to make a lot of noise.

“Seven?” His eyebrow raised in question.

“Yes,” Allie smiled fondly thinking of her family, “I have three brothers and three sisters, all younger than me.”

“Despite the fact that my father had a lot of children,” she frowned, “he never liked when they acted like children. It was like he wanted instant mini-adults, always obedient and subservient to what he wanted. Disobedience was never tolerated when it came to my father. If we didn’t agree with him or something he was asking us to do, we had to keep it to ourselves or else suffer the consequences.”

Jason added the vegetables to the egg mixture already cooking on the stove top. “Did he hurt you?”

Allie shrugged in reply without making eye contact. “He did what the Lord told him to do.” She said simply, “If God told him our punishment was being locked in the cellar, that’s what he would do; and if we deserved to be beaten, well, then he would do that. Apparently, our father received personal instruction from God on a daily basis.” A little smirk lifted the side of her mouth at her sarcastic comment.

“I’m sorry,” Jason stopped what he was doing to face her.

“It’s ok,” Allie shrugged again.

“No, no it’s not, Allie.” He pushed the skillet off the stove top and moved towards her. He placed both of his hands at her waist and turned her so he could look her in the eye. “You’re dad was a bastard, who used his position of authority to abuse and lord over other people. There are ways to discipline and correct a child, but beating them is never ok.”

Deep down, Allie knew in her heart that what he was saying was true. But at the same time, she had been trained from a child that her father was God’s authority over her life and that any disobedience to him was direct disobedience against God. So there was no way to fight that. How does one fight against
God
?

Jason pulled her forward into a hug, and she felt some of the tension ease out of her body. His hugs were amazing. They made her feel like the most valued and treasured person on earth. How was that even possible? She threw her arms around his neck and returned the squeeze. He was so tall and broad, it made her feel so safe and protected when she was in his arms.

He pulled back just far enough to be able to see her face, “Ready for that omelet?”

“Yes,” she smiled looking up into his beautiful blue eyes. They were so different from her father’s. Whenever her father looked at her, there was such a cold anger seeping from his eyes. It was almost as if he hated them even though he was their father. But Jason’s, his were open and bright, they seemed to literally shine with happiness. When she stared up into them, it was like the rest of the world just faded away, and all that existed were her and him.

He smiled and then turned back to transfer the food to a couple of plates. Allie filled up some glasses with juice and then carried them over to the table. They both quickly dug into their food.

“Oh my gosh,” Allie moaned happily, “this is so good!”

“You sound surprised,” Jason laughed back.

Allie blushed for a moment before responding, “Well, the men at Free Indeed never cooked, like ever. It was women’s work, and they wouldn’t be caught dead in the kitchen.” She rolled her eyes at the memory. “I actually think your cooking is better than mine. Well, your omelets anyway.” She teased him.

Jason smirked, “Just you wait till you taste my chili, your tastebuds will never question man-cooking again.”

Allie laughed. This felt so good, being with him. It just felt right. He made her feel so comfortable and at home, she just felt like she belonged in his life and he in hers. Gosh, he made her feel so special and worthwhile, like she mattered. Back at the community, she felt as if all she was good for was to compliment whatever man-authority was in her life. The women there were to keep house and take care of the children, and then drop whatever they were doing whenever their husband or father asked them to do something they saw as more important. Jason was so different, he actually tried to see to her needs and wanted to take care of
her
.

“Look,” Jason’s chuckle interrupted her thoughts. She followed his gaze to see Malcolm showing Shuggs how to use the doggie door leading into the backyard. Allie laughed as she watched the two dogs run in and out of the house as if they were playing a game of tag.

“Want to see the ranch?” Jason grinned over at her as they finished up their meal.

“I’d love to,” she replied, smiling back at him. This place was amazing, and of course she wanted to see more. She helped Jason put the last of the dishes away and then followed him to the back door. He reached up to where his Stetson was hanging to snag it and put it on his head. He grabbed a second hat hanging there as well and turned to hand it to Allie. She let out a little laugh as she took it from him and plopped it on her head. Allie tilted her head cutely to the side, “Do I look like a cowgirl now?” She asked him with a big smile covering her face.

“You look like the most adorable cowgirl ever,” Jason winked back.

That was good enough for her. Adorable was drastically better than nerdy or geeky or god forbid, the frumpy look that she came to Serenity in. Adorable was cute, and coming from Jason, it made her all warm and fuzzy inside.