Envy (10 page)

Eventually, we huddle up on the rug together. Devlin is sat with his back up against the wooden wall and I am lying across him with my head in his lap. Devlin strokes my hair and it feels so good a moan escapes me. As soon as it does I tense and he laughs.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m not going to pounce on you. Even if you do sound sexy as hell.” He leans down and plants a kiss on my cheek.

I sit up and really look at him. Here’s a man who looks sexy as fuck with his tattoos and dangerous demeanour but he’s not dangerous, at least not to me. He’s so sweet and caring, what girl wouldn’t like that? After what I’ve been through, it’s what I crave even if it does scare me.

I scoot closer to him, wanting to be close and Delvin’s eyes become sexy intense. I fucking love when he does that.

“Natasha, you’re so beautiful baby.” Devlin closes the distance.

I smile, looking down at our connected hands. “You’re not too bad yourself biker boy.”

He laughs at that. “You know I will wait for you right?”

“What?” I ask incredulously.

“Tash, I know you went through some hard times but I want you to know that I’m waiting for you. I want you, not just for sex but,” He stops talking, looking down at the floor and struggling with his words. “Fuck it, Tasha I want you as my old lady.”

My eyes widen and my breathe jolts. “What?” I realise that I’m repeating myself, but I don’t know what else to say!

“Don’t answer yet, I know you’re not ready but I want you to know that I’m not in this with you for a one time fuck. I want us babe, together.” His eyes bore into mine and I believe him.

I can’t believe that he wants me as his Old Lady, but then I remember that he hasn’t seen my ugly scars. He won’t want me forever when he sees them. Devlin comes even closer to me and wraps his hand behind my head. He secures me in place as he kisses me. I close my eyes and lose myself in him, I don’t want to worry about my insecurities right now because I want to enjoy myself. I really do want Devlin. I’m not stupid enough to ignore the fact that I am developing some sort of feelings for him but I’m terrified.

The kiss gets heated pretty fucking quickly and my hands feel Devlin everywhere. I manage to get under his shirt and touch his naked skin on his stomach. I can feel where the ridges of his muscles are and my insides clench. Fuck me he feels and looks divine!

Devlin leaves me to it, letting me familiarise myself with him. My arm brushes against his hardness and I know for a fact he is enjoying this as much as I am. I look up and meet his eyes, he looks very fucking horny.

“Shit.” He curses. “Let’s get you home baby.”

As horny as I am right now, I respect him looking out for me and nod in agreement. Devlin gets up and reaches down to help me up, when he does his arms snake around me. He looks down to my lips and within seconds we’re kissing again. He backs me up against the wall and presses his dick on me, making me moan. God, if I wasn’t so scared about him seeing me right now I would tear of his clothes and fuck him senseless.

We break away, breathless and shaky.

“Come on baby.” Devlin helps me down the ladders and we walk quickly to his bike.

“Thank you.” I whisper.

“For what?” He asks, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Tonight.” I melt into him. “I really enjoyed it.”

“No problem baby. I had to come and see you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

He helps me onto his bike again and we slowly ride down the road. When we’re a safe distance from his Aunts, he lets his engine roar and we fire away. I hold him tight, cuddling his back and turning my head so I can see everything passing by.

When we get to Lauren and Grim’s place, Devlin turns off the bike and walks me to the door.

“You wanna come in?” I ask him.

“Are you sure?” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ears.

“I’d like to sleep beside you.” I admit and his face breaks out in a huge grin.

“Then that’s what you’re getting.”

We go up to my room, not seeing Lauren or Grim on our way and I’m glad. I run into the bathroom shocked that Devlin is in my room! I look at myself in the mirror, preparing myself for my panic attack to begin and I’m shocked when it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a little nervousness there but nothing compared to when we first kissed. That was a mistake, as soon as our lips touched I ran away but now I feel that this is right. I take a deep breath and undress into a pair of really short shorts and a slinky vest top. My sleepwear covers enough skin to keep most of my scars hidden, but it still shows enough to make me feel scared of walking out the door.

I have to do this, not only for myself but because I feel like Devlin needs this too. He’s a fucking great guy and he’s waited long enough for me. I’m not going to have sex with him tonight, I know that for a fact but we will be sleeping side by side and that’s enough to get my heart pumping.

“You ok in there babe?” I hear Devlin from the other side of the door.

“Yeah.” My voice comes out weak, clearing my throat I speak louder. “Yeah I’m coming.”

As my hand covers the door handle, I take another deep and calming breath before I slowly open the door and face my fears. I really hope Devlin don’t freak out at the sight of my scars. To his credit, when he sees me his eyes widen a little and I see the shock on his face. It could be because he hasn’t seen me show so much skin, but I also think it’s down to seeing my red and shiny scars.

Devlin walks closer to me as I stand awkwardly in the doorway. I watch as he looks at my exposed scars.

“Babe.” He whispers, still looking me over.

“I know, they’re disgusting.” I look down at the floor, hanging my head in shame.

“Hey.” Devlin lifts my head back up with one finger. “Don’t you dare, you’re beautiful Natasha.”

“But my scars.” I whimper.

“Are you.” He points out, giving me those gorgeous intense eyes again. “Every part of you is what makes you simply beautiful.” His words make my bottle lip wobble and he pulls me into a cuddle. The fucking best one I’ve ever had. Devlin’s arms wrap around me while one of his hands tangle in my hair holding me against him so I can’t move. Not that I want to, I’m very happy where I am.

He leads me over to the bed and sits beside me. He sweeps my hair from my wet face, I didn’t even realise I had started to cry. All I was thinking about was being so close to Devlin. As I’m sitting down, my shorts ride up even more and he gets a glimpse of my deepest and ugliest scars. It’s one of the freshest scars too. Strike gave it to me just a couple of weeks before Grim showed up with the rest of his brothers and helped get us out of there. The scar is red and still a little raised from my smooth flesh. It starts from the inside of my thigh and wraps around to finish on my hip. It was where Strike’s whip sliced me, you can imagine how it struck as you look at it. Devlin can only see half of it because my shorts cover where it ends on my waist but he can see enough. When he looks back to my eyes I see the horror reflected and all I do is nod.

“Who?” He growls.

“Strike.” I whisper in reply. “A few weeks before we got out of there.”

“I’m glad you did.” He leans his forehead on mine and we stay like that, just being close and quiet, until I get sleepy. I scoot over in the corner and pat the bed for Devlin to join me. He gives me his side smile that is fucking adorable and stands. I can’t help but watch as he undresses, first his boots and socks. When he unbuckles his belt and I swallow my sudden dry throat, still not taking my eyes from him. Devlin then places his leather vest over my chair in the corner and then rips his top over his head. Throwing that over his vest, he turns his back to me and take down his jeans and I see his tight ass. I’m shocked his completely commando and when he turns he has his hand covering his cock, but I see his muscled stomach and that delicious V shape pointing down the place I want to see most of all.

Devlin walks over to the bed. “You’re perving.”

“It’s kind of hard not to when you strip naked.” I laugh.

Devlin gets into bed and I feel his body heat radiating from him. “I can’t sleep with clothes on babe. It’s either naked or I go back to the clubhouse.”

I look him over from my spot in the bed. “Naked is fine.”

“Come here.” He holds his arm out and I scoot closer, fitting into the spot beside him.

“Thank you.” I finally speak.

“For what?” Devlin asks, his voice sounding tired.

“Not running when you saw my scars.” I begin to let my fingers wander over his abs.

“Why would you think I would do that?” He asks me, sounding a little angry.

I don’t know how to respond, so I keep quiet letting my fingers still glide over him.

“Tasha, I want you to be my old lady, scars or no fucking scars. I will wait for you.” He voice comes out strong and I have no doubt he means what he’s saying. I lay a single kiss on his hand that rests over me and he squeezes me, kissing my forehead.

“Night babe.”

“Goodnight.” I whisper, closing my eyes and letting sleep claim me.

I wake the biggest fucking hard on. I’m not surprised because sleeping next to Natasha and not letting my dick near her is fucking hard work! I’m glad she’s not awake yet because I don’t want her seeing me like this. That would be fucking embarrassing. I slide out of bed, careful not to wake her and slide into my jeans. I look back to the bed and see Natasha looking up at me, guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought.

“Running away?” She asks with a smile, but I see the doubt in her eyes and I hate the fuckers who did that to her. When Natasha told me it was Strike who put that scar on her, probably most of them too, I wanted nothing more than to find the bastard and kill him. Fuck my dad’s plan, I want him dead. I sit on the edge of the bed, leaning over to kiss her.

“No babe, just have to speak with Grim that’s all.”

“Ok.” I see the relief wash over her and my blood boils. She’s the most beautiful woman I have known and she shouldn’t feel so shit about herself. I will make it my life’s goal to make her feel as gorgeous as I see her every day of her life because she will be mine. I just have to play the patient game and suffer with this hard on for a little while longer.

Natasha is worth it.

“I’ll be back to see you before I leave ok?” I kiss her again for good measure and let my hand smooth over her exposed scars. “Don’t cover up anymore, you won’t lose me.”

She lays back down and gives me that cute smile that sends blood rushing to my cock again. Her hair is in a mess all over the pillow, the top she has worn to bed is showing the tightness around her breasts, she fucking looks like a porn star and I fight with myself not to get back in that bed.

“I thought you had to talk with Grim, I can smell bacon so I know he’s up.” She rolls her eyes.

I get out my phone from my pocket and take a quick snap of her. Natasha’s eyes bug out and she covers her face, but it’s too late, I’ve already got the shot and it’s fucking perfect.

“Oh my god!” She shrieks.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t get you.” I lie.

“Oh thank god!” She peaks through her fingers to check my phone is away.

I laugh as I leave the room, loving that I have a secret photo of her. Sure enough when I get downstairs, I see Grim at the oven frying some bacon. The smell hits my nose and my mouth waters.

“Make me one brother.” I ask as I step into the kitchen.

“Already have.” He indicates to the plate on the table. “I heard you coming down and made you some.”

“Cheers bro.” I pat him on the back. “So you knew I was here?”

“I saw your bike out front this morning, you should have put it in the garage.” He points out.

“I’ll remember that for next time.” I say before biting into my in bacon sandwich.

“Next time?” He laughs.

I nod and his smile drops. He knows I’m being deadly serious and says nothing. Smart man.

Some people will think it might be weird that both men are the first to wake up, but in this life you have little sleep and you quickly get used to it. You have shit to deal with until late at night and then have more shit to see to first thing in the morning. After we finish our food, Grim disappears upstairs as I talk to dad about today’s business. I want to see him. I need to persuade him to let me kill Strike. Of course, my dad doesn’t like this idea.

Grim returns with a clean shirt and socks for me so I run back to Natasha’s room to get dressed. Plus, I want to see her before I have to leave because now my dad wants to give me a piece of his fucking mind and he’s in full club President mode. When I walk into Natasha’s room I see her in just a towel, dripping wet. Fuck me.

“Fuck you look sexy.” I shut the door behind me and quickly make my way over to her. As soon as I reach her I grab her close and kiss the living daylights out of her. Hearing her sweet moans makes my dick grow and I thrust against her.

“Wow.” She whispers as we break apart. Without saying a thing, I put on Grim’s shirt and socks and then my boots and leather vest. All the while we look at each other, not saying a thing.

“I’ll catch ya later baby.” I kiss her again, this time longer and more dick thrust. I want to be on her mind all day.

“I’ll look forward to it.”

Shit, this woman has got me securely by the balls. She must know that if I want her to be my old lady how I feel about her right? I’m shit scared of saying those all-important words.

I give her a wink before leaving her standing looking back at me, fuck that was hard to do.