Epilogue (2 page)

I took it as a good sign. Her tells weren’t choice—they were instinct. It thrilled me to know her instinct was to deny any possibility that meeting me was a mistake.

“I know what I want, Livvie. I want to be a part of your life again. I know we can’t start over. I know you have every reason in the world to want me dead, but I—”

She placed her hand over my mouth.

“Don’t. I’m not ready for that either,” she said. She almost seemed angry with me.

I can never overstate the depth and beauty of Livvie’s eyes. I can stare into them forever, until I forget my own name (which, let’s face it—wouldn’t take me long).

I took my left hand out of my pocket and covered her hand over my mouth. I kissed her fingers and nodded. It was as close to supplication as I could come without making a groveling ass of myself. It wasn’t pride—it was stratagem. If I had thought groveling would get Livvie into my car, I would have made a good show of it. I’m shameless.

Slowly, Livvie pulled her hand away from my mouth and curled her fingers around mine. She shook her head and smiled ruefully.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either, Caleb. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve put certain aspects of my life on hold, thinking—hoping that one day you’d find me again. And now you’re here and I have to be honest… it’s freaking me out.”

I stepped closer to her. I was elated when she didn’t take a step back. Her hand was warm in mine and her red lips were simply begging to be kissed again. She’d caught me off guard with the first one. I was desperate to make the second kiss last.

“I know. I don’t expect you to trust me, but, Livvie, I would never do anything to hurt you again. Just give me a chance to prove it. How can I prove it to you?” I couldn’t resist the urge to stroke her bronzed shoulder. She looked like a goddess. She looked like sex on silky legs. Her kitten tongue, just like I remembered it, swept her bottom lip as she pondered her response. “You’re killing me with that, Livvie.”

Her head tilted to one side.

“Killing you with what?”

I took a chance and tugged her a little closer. I removed my other hand from my pocket and let my thumb run across the curved bow of her lips. We swallowed.

“I want to kiss you again, but I’m afraid I’ll scare you away.” I took a step back when she tensed. “So I won’t.”

It was almost more than I cared to take. The impulsive man in me that was used to getting what he wanted at any cost was tempted to take control.

I realize you’ve somehow been lulled into believing my baser urges had been overcome, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth at the time. I had spent the year prior to our reunion righting old wrongs, and sometimes it had meant being the man Rafiq had raised me to be.

“How did you find me, Caleb?” Livvie’s voice was small and her fear irritated me because I knew she had a right to it. She cared about me. She wouldn’t have shown up if she didn’t, but I hated her trepidation just the same.

“What do you want me to say? You know who I am. You know what I do.” I let go of her hand before she had a chance to pull away from me again. The night was quickly going to shit. I was glad she didn’t have me arrested, but I hadn’t really planned for a scenario involving lust and incredible awkwardness.

“Hey,” she whispered. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m happy to see you, I am! But if you found me… what makes you think someone else can’t?”

I felt like an idiot.

“It wasn’t easy. If it weren’t for our conversations, the things I know about you, I don’t think I would have found you. You’re safe, Livvie. No one’s coming for you. I swear it.” I didn’t mention that I’d killed anyone who would have bothered.

“What things?” she asked. I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

“Do you really want to know, Livvie? Because once you know, I can’t take it back.” I let my eyes meet hers. I was willing to do a lot of things to win her, but she had to accept the harsh truth that I wasn’t a man who played by society’s rules and I never would be.

“Did you hurt anyone?” Her eyes implored me to say no.

“No,” I said honestly. I even managed a flirtatious smile. She smiled back.

“Then I guess I don’t need to know.” She reached for my hand and tugged me in the direction we had been walking.

“This still doesn’t solve the problem of what we’re going to do when we get to my car.”

“Is it a stick shift?”

“Of course. Why? Did you finally learn to drive?” I laughed at the memory of her admitting she couldn’t drive. I laughed even harder when she scowled at me and playfully hit my shoulder.

“Asshole.”

“Aww, you like it when I tease you.”

“No. I don’t.”

“Then why are you smiling?” I whispered the words in her ear as we walked. All became right in my world when I felt her nudge me with her shoulder and her hand held mine a little tighter. The void in me sighed. I had found a way to feed it.

“I can drive. I’m not good with a stick though.”

“I don’t remember you being quite so bad with mine.” A smile played across her lips as she gawked at me. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s flirt.

“I’ve seen you handle your stick, Caleb. You’re much better at it than I am.” She kept eye contact with me as I stared at her in shock, but she still blushed something furious.

I tried to make words come out of my mouth. I settled for smiling and shaking my head. She’d made me uncomfortable in the best way. It was a skill only she seemed to possess. I know it sounds juvenile, but there it is.

Finally, we reached my car. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t expect Livvie to be impressed. If you’ve ever stood in the presence of a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera and not gotten a tingly sensation in your naughty bits, you have to be very young, very old, or completely fucking blind.

“Nice car,” she said.

I could tell she was trying to be nonchalant. She didn’t do it well. I knew what she looked like when her pussy was wet.

“Wait until you get inside. It’s my favorite part.” And yes, gentle readers, I am that fucking smooth. I didn’t open the door for her, but considering I was used to women opening them for me, let’s call it progress.

I slid against the soft black leather and reached for Livvie’s safety harness. Within the enclosed space of the vehicle, her scent infiltrated my senses. I took my time pulling the straps across Livvie’s chest. I could feel her anxiety like a physical caress, but I didn’t think it had to do with fear.

I was mere inches from her red lips. They were gently parted. I could hear her taking soft open-mouthed breaths. I looked up into her eyes and noticed immediately how they seemed both vigilant, and heavy with desire. She was watching my every move very carefully.

I leaned closer to her. I moved slowly, giving her every opportunity to say no or push me away. Carefully, I braced myself against her door with one hand. I didn’t want my weight against her, not yet. I brushed the end of her nose with mine, urging her head to tilt upward. I felt her breath against my mouth, faster and heavier than before. And at last, I watched her eyes close as she leaned forward.

I let the tip of my tongue trace her bottom lip, coaxing her mouth open. I didn’t want to rush things. Well, I did want to, but I know when I shouldn’t. I wanted to push her up against the door, rip off her panties, and ram myself into her, but I suspected she wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I would. It was enough to feel her lips opening for me. I came a little closer and she let out a soft whimper into my mouth.

She wanted me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

I kissed her for a long time. I couldn’t get enough of her moans. I liked to threaten to pull away and let her lean forward, chasing after my mouth. I was pretty sure if I used my skills in the right way, I could get Livvie into my bed. I could see every glorious inch of her. Taste her pussy in my mouth before I wrapped her legs around me and fucked her until there was no come left inside me.

I heard myself moan, but I didn’t give a fuck. I hadn’t had sex in months, and the sex I’d had since Livvie wasn’t worth mentioning or even thinking about. I’d jerked off before I came to meet her and my balls still felt heavy. I took a chance and removed my hand from the door. I let myself caress her shoulder to gauge her reaction to my touch.

“Caleb,” she sighed. She gripped the edges of her seat and pushed her chest out slightly. Her tongue pushed harder and deeper into my mouth.

Fuck! Yes!
I wanted to yell the words. I reached for her breast and my cock throbbed when I felt how hard her nipple was against my palm. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra beneath her dress and the thin fabric let me feel every contour of her. As quickly as I could, I pushed on the harness and released the straps. I pulled the fabric aside and Livvie’s beautiful breast came into view.

“Caleb!” It wasn’t a sigh this time. She was a little panicked.

I didn’t let it stop me. I could still hear the lust in her voice. I palmed her breast and put my mouth around her puckered nipple. I sucked on her greedily. I moaned loud and gripped her harder when her cry hit the air and her hands held on to my head, pulling me closer.

Somewhere in my lust-addled head I knew the situation wasn’t ideal. As sexy as a Gallardo Superleggera is, it’s incredibly cramped and certainly wasn’t conducive to the all-out fuck-fest I had in mind. It took every ounce of self-control I didn’t possess to pull myself away from Livvie’s delicious nipple.

It was harder not to go back to it when I got a good look at Livvie upon pulling away. Her body was tilted at an angle, with her head against the door, and her dress was pushed to the side to expose one of her breasts. Her nipple was hard and wet from my mouth. Livvie’s lipstick deserved an award because it had surprisingly stayed on her lips and wasn’t smeared all over her face.

“Let me take you home, Livvie. Please. I can’t stand being this close to you and not being inside you for one more fucking second.” I put myself out there. I let her know exactly what my intentions were.

She was slow to catch her breath. Her dark brown eyes looked on me with lust, but also with what seemed to be a myriad of other emotions.

“What’s wrong? I know you want this as much as I do.” I tried not to sound annoyed, but it’s next to impossible not to sound like an asshole when my dick is hard enough to pound nails and I’m expected to have higher brain function.

Livvie eyed me warily. Sadly, it was an expression I’d come to know very well in our time together. She could probably tell I was annoyed and it was scaring her. Carefully, she set about adjusting her dress and slipping her breast back into it. She couldn’t seem to stop fidgeting, and with every movement it became obvious she was pondering her next actions.

Then, with her gorgeous tits no longer in view and her racy dress smoothed down to reflect a more demure appearance, she spoke.

“I want to ask you a few questions, Caleb, and I need for you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?” She looked toward me with her sad brown eyes.

She had me in a precarious position and I was willing to do whatever it would take to make her happy again. I wanted the opportunity to taste Livvie’s happy tears again.

“Ask me anything you really want to know. But only if you think you can handle the answer.” I couldn’t stress my point enough. She couldn’t ask me for honesty and then hate me for following the rules. Well, she
could
—but it’s a shitty thing to do to a person.

“Okay,” she said resolutely. “You drive and I’ll ask my questions.”

I raised a disbelieving brow.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to ask me now, when I don’t have to navigate in traffic? And where exactly do you want me to take you?”

Livvie smiled coyly and it made my chest ache. She could be such a tease sometimes.

“I want you distracted, Caleb. I don’t want to give you the chance to shape your version of the truth. You’re far too good at half-truths. Just drive around and I’ll tell you when to stop. Stay in the city—no rural roads.” She reached for her harness and strapped herself in.

I didn’t know if I was offended or impressed, but I decided to go with the more agreeable of the two.

“Don’t trust me?” I asked and smiled. She’d always been a fan of my smile.

“To a point,” she replied smoothly. “I trust you enough to get in your car, but you can’t blame me for being cautious.”

I could feel my face and neck getting hot. I wasn’t immune to my guilt. I felt guilty for a lot of things where Livvie was concerned and she was right. She was entitled to much more than caution. I cleared my throat to break through the tension. I adjusted myself as surreptitiously as possible, put on my harness, and started the car.

“Whoa!” Livvie gripped the door handle as the car roared to life and the engine caused our seats to vibrate.

I smiled at the knowledge her pussy had received a little tickle. My balls appreciated the RPM too. I pulled away from my parking spot and tried to concentrate on navigating our way out of the tourist-filled traffic. In the pit of my stomach, my anxiety churned and threatened to ruin my dinner.

“Okay, I’m all yours. Ask me anything you’re prepared to have answered.” From the corner of my eye I could see a smile tugging at the corners of Livvie’s mouth.

“You’re all mine?” she asked.

I looked in her direction.

“Are you serious? That’s your first question? This might be easier than I thought. Yes, Livvie, I’m all yours.” I winked at her for good measure. My stomach felt a little better when I saw her smile.

“And you’re mine, only mine.”
The void fed on the memory.

“Good to know. But it won’t be that easy. When you offered to take me home, did you mean my house?” Her tone hinted at her unease.

I suddenly knew where this conversation was going to go. However, I’d promised to answer her honestly. I always kept my promises. All, except one. I pushed the thought away.

“You didn’t want to go to mine, so I thought yours might be better.”

“Do you know where I live?” she accused.

I rolled my eyes.