Epilogue: The Dark Duet (4 page)

“Yes. I looked for you everywhere and
anywhere I could think of. If you really wanted me to find you, you could have
left me a note in Mexico. It was the first place I looked.” I reached out with
my right hand and stroked Livvie’s cheek. I loved that she let me.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea. The
FBI knew you’d left me the money. I was afraid if I left you a note they’d know
you were alive. I couldn’t risk it.” She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach
her eyes.

I felt many things upon hearing her
words. I was touched. I was angry. I was sad.

“I’m sorry you
had to go through that. They made you change your name.” I hadn’t counted on
Livvie. I’d been too sick about Rafiq to believe she’d ever try to protect me.

“I like my new one.” She reached for my
hand and held it on her knee. “I’d do it again, Caleb—in a heartbeat. I don’t
know how you feel about it, but I want you to know I’m happy. I have a great
life.”

“I guess that counts for something. If
I’d let you come with me… I don’t know. I doubt you’d be the same person. I
doubt you’d be as happy as you seem to be.” My own words gave me pause. I’d
been right to leave her behind. Had I been right to return?

She gave me a sidelong look. Her smirk
hinted at amusement, but her eyes promised retribution.

“You’re not off
the hook, Caleb. If you hadn’t left me at the border with a gun, I wouldn’t
have had to make a scene to get back into the country. They were barely even
looking for me. So don’t give me that ‘all’s well that ends well’ bullshit.”

She got a chuckle out of me.

“Point taken.
So how was your time with the FBI?” I was genuinely interested in what she had
to say. I’d had some close calls in the past year. At the time, I assumed it was
the FIA in Pakistan trying to find me. I was sure they didn’t appreciate Rafiq
had gone missing, nor the fact he had been connected to the
Zahra Bay'
. I played with my life every time I
went into the country. I wondered if the FBI had been looking for me too.

Livvie looked sad for a fleeting moment
before she plastered a smile on her face.

“I’ll get to
that. There’s a lot you should know. First, I want to know how you found me. I
want to know what you’ve been up to. I don’t want to have to change my name
again.”

“What happened to doing it again in a
heartbeat?” I provoked.

“Don’t be an idiot,” she said and
nudged me with her knee. I let out a defeated sigh.

“After Mexico,
I decided to try your old neighborhood.” Livvie looked aghast. I was quick to reassure
her no one had been hurt. “I didn’t talk to anyone. I couldn’t take the chance.
I waited outside your former apartment building, but I realized pretty quickly
your family didn’t live there anymore.” I inched a bit closer to Livvie on the
sofa. I didn’t move so much she’d notice—at least not right away. “I must have
scouted the bus stop for weeks, just hoping. Which, in retrospect, was pretty
dumb. Why would you go back there?

“After your old neighborhood proved
fruitless, I remember you talked about your friend Nicole. And before you get
all huffy—I didn’t talk to her either. I just stole her laptop.”

“Caleb!” Livvie admonished.

I shrugged unapologetically.

“Are you glad I
found you or what? Your whereabouts weren’t just going to fall out of thin
air.” I practically dared her to tell me there had been another way. “I found
an email that could only have come from you.” I moved a tiny bit closer. I
don’t think she realized. “You sounded really sad. You mentioned going to the
Eiffel Tower by yourself. Someone stole your wallet. It was months after the
incident, but I still worried for you. You said you weren’t over me.”

Livvie looked away from me. She had
tears in her eyes and she was working hard to make it seem as though she
didn’t. While I didn’t necessarily relish her pain at the memory, it boded well
for me. It made me believe there was a chance for us.

She cleared her throat and wiped at her
eyes with the back of her finger.

“Ugh! I thought
I was past this part. I promise I’m not quite as emotional as I used to be.”
She smiled. “I guess you just bring it out of me. I like your hair. How long is
it?”

“It’s camouflage. I keep it back
because it annoys me when it touches my shoulders.” I didn’t want to talk about
my hair. I reached up and collected a tear racing down her cheek. I drank it. I
knew it didn’t make sense to her. If anything, she seemed more embarrassed.
However, it was my way of taking her pain away. It was a promise. I didn’t go
around drinking random tears. I’m not
that
creepy.

Livvie took a deep breath and exhaled
slowly. Some of the tension from earlier was slinking its way back into our
intimate moment.

“Some things
never change I guess,” she whispered.

I moved closer, until our knees
brushed. My arm rested on the back of the sofa and I was able to touch her hair
with my fingers. Warmth spread through me as I watched her eyelids slide shut.

“Everything is
in the process of becoming something else. It’s the law of change.” I briefly
kissed Livvie’s eyelids before she could open them. “I’m in the process of
becoming something else, Livvie. I hope it’s something good, something far
removed from the monster you knew.”

“Wow!” Livvie said. Her tears had
gotten the better of her and she raced to put distance between us. She wiped
hurriedly at her cheeks. “Holy shit, Caleb. How can I keep from being a mess
when you say things like that? I don’t even know how to feel.”

I smiled and moved back. I had her
where I wanted her, but more than that—I had her where I
needed
her. In a place where she could admit she could forgive me
for the past. In a place where
we
were possible.

Over the next several hours, I relayed
the many airline tickets I had purchased to search for her. The places I had
almost caught up and missed her. I told her about Germany and the café. She
hadn’t been happy to hear about that one but accepted I wasn’t quite ready to
approach her at the time.

She attempted to ask questions about
our last days in Mexico. I was honest and told her it was too much for me to
discuss so soon. I’d tell her at some point. She didn’t like it, but she used
it as leverage to dodge questions about the FBI and what she’d learned about me.

For the most part we tried not to delve
too deeply into subjects that were excruciating to either one of us. It was
more about discovering how we felt toward one another after so much time had
gone by. As our feelings became more obvious, we were able to discuss our
present instead of our past. I liked that much better. I liked hearing about
Livvie going to school. I listened to her talk about the endless possibilities
of her future and it made me feel somewhat better about… well, everything. I
would be lying if I told you I was over what happened with Rafiq—far from it.
Still, it gave me a modicum of solace to know that if he had lived, Livvie’s
future would not be so bright.

Too quickly, the hours had ticked by.
The night had gone silent and in a few hours, pre-dawn would be approaching. My
thoughts began to turn toward more carnal diversions and talking had begun to
lose its appeal.

“It’s late,” she whispered. She had her
feet on the sofa, her knees pulled up to her chin. Her dark eyes begged me to
come closer. Her legs threatened to push me away.

I felt myself getting hard, my dick
throbbing in rhythm with my heartbeat. I was transported to Felipe’s plantation
in Madera. I remembered the first night I whipped her. She’d known she was in
trouble and she hid under the sink. She was curled up in much the same way,
eyes staring up at me, legs trembling ever so slightly. I remembered the thrill
of making her surrender.

The memory filled me with mixed
emotions. I had been her abuser. I had taken something from her she had been unwilling
to give. I felt guilty. Yet, I also had a fondness for the memory. It had been
the beginning of my exploration with Livvie. Even cowered beneath the sink, her
eyes had met mine. She fought me without words. She fought my possession. It
was in those moments I first saw the ghost of the boy I had been. I knew the
words behind her stare: You can have my body, but you can’t have me.

I had admired her even as I was
resolved to bend her to my will. She had closed her eyes at our first touch,
gathering her courage.

“Look at me. I want you to look at me.”

In the quiet hotel room, with Livvie
only a short span away, I stared into her unflinching eyes and once again read
the message. I wouldn’t be able to take what I wanted this time. This time, I
had to earn her surrender.

“I don’t want this night to end,” I
said. I wanted to make myself as clear as possible. Whatever she decided to do
after that was fine.

“So… what then?” She raised her hand to
her mouth and tugged gently at her lip. Her eyes had a mischievous glint.

“Well, the way I see it, you have three
options: You can make me very sad by asking me to drive you home. You can take
pity on me and spend the night. Or you can admit you want me to fuck you until
you beg for mercy.” I leaned back and put my arms around the sofa. I let her
see how hard I was for her, how much I wanted to be inside her.

She inhaled sharply. Her cheeks
reddened. A quick glance downward revealed her toes, curled tightly.

“You… still
have a way with words.” Her voice was breathy, but confident.

“Just laying it out for you.” I winked
at her. I felt pretty confident about which of the three options she would
choose. However, she has a way of throwing in her own surprises.

“I still have the pepper spray,” she
teased.

“Kinky.” We laughed.

I knew she wanted me. It was written
all over her face. It was in the way she licked her lips in preparation for
being kissed, the way her eyes seemed to go dark. I had a moment of hesitation.
I wasn’t sure what role she wanted me to play. On the one hand, it would have
given me pleasure to tell her what to do. I liked being in control. I liked
knowing she’d obey me of her own free will. On the other, I wasn’t sure how my
dominance would be accepted. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her away.
I didn’t want to remind her there had been a time she hadn’t had a choice.

“So, what’s it
going to be, Pet?”

She raised a brow.

“Pet?” She
didn’t seem put off by the moniker, despite the gentle warning in her tone.

“Force of habit,” I whispered
unapologetically.
Slow and easy it is.

“You have a lot of bad habits, Caleb.”

“But not all my habits are bad, are
they?” I let my hand rest on my dick. Her eyes followed my movements. She
swallowed.

“No. There’s a few I’m quite fond of.”
She met my eyes and held me captive.

“Do tell,” I suggested.

“Give me time, Caleb. I will. But… tonight?
I just need you to know I’m not the scared girl you remember.” She brought her
knees down and opened her legs. Her dress hid what was beneath, but her message
was clear as she placed her hand on her pussy.

My heart beat erratically, spurred by
her seduction. Beneath my own hand, my cock strained against my zipper.

“I remember you
were brave,” I managed to say beyond the lust clogging my throat.

“I remember you liked to watch me touch
myself.” She inched her dress up her thighs. Her short, blunt fingernails left
faint red trails along her smooth tan skin. “I remember I liked watching you
too.” She shifted down and rested her head on the arm of the sofa.

I was beside myself. My mouth was dry—too
many open-mouthed breaths. My chest felt bruised by the incessant pounding of
my heart. Lower down, my flesh was rigid and surrendering its first clear
droplets of seed.

“I’d like to do
a hell of a lot more than watch.” I leaned forward and was met with instant
resistance. Livvie’s foot pushed against my chest and urged me back against the
sofa.

“We do it my way. Or not at all,” she
threatened playfully.

I knew a battle I couldn’t win when I
encountered it. I tilted my head toward Livvie in deference.

“I can accept
that.” I resumed my previous posture. “I await your every whim.” I baited her
with my smile.

“Good.” She relaxed. Her fingers
trailed lightly over her pussy. “You show me yours… and I’ll show you mine.”

I laughed softly. If it were possible
to care for her any more, I wasn’t sure I could stand it.

“Hmm,” I sighed
and unzipped my jeans. “As I recall, shyness was
your
obstacle, not mine.” I quickly undid my pants and opened them.
My lust intensified as my cock hit the air. I resisted the urge to touch it. I
took great satisfaction in hearing Livvie gasp. To her credit, she composed
herself quickly.

“Very nice, Caleb. I know we’re both in
the process of becoming something else, but it’s nice to know there are a few
things that will never change.” She lifted her knee closest to the couch. Her
dress rode up toward her waist. She spread her legs and revealed her naked
pussy. She hadn’t been wearing any underwear!