Equal Access (29 page)

Dad redirected his attention to her. “My
father’s a control freak. I still don’t have contact even with my
sisters because of the mind games he keeps playing with them,
telling everybody how I’m the black sheep of the family. And as
much as it hurt my mom’s heart, I had to break contact with my
family. That way nobody will blame them, and especially not
him
. And to protect my own family I had to keep you all away
from him. So he keeps the world revolving around him, and his
secret is safe.”

Dulsie’s thoughts turned to the day of
Grandma’s funeral. How Grandpa scrutinized her, and she became
uneasy enough to step behind Shad....

“But you did get together with Grandma.” Her
gaze locked on Dad’s. “I have a few vague memories of having visits
with her.”

“You remember that?” Dad smiled a little, but
then he shrugged and shook his head. “For a few weeks I got to talk
with Mom again. You weren’t even five years old. We had a chance
meeting at the grocery store and you happened to be with me.” He
smiled again. “You were the perfect bait. Your grandma was happy to
see me, but she was absolutely tickled to see you. We did start
trying to find ways to get together, and she finally met your mom
and your brothers.” Dad’s smile vanished as he sighed again. “But
then my father found out, and that ended that. But I’ll always be
grateful to God we at least had those few weeks. Mom and I were
able to ... get some closure. If she’d died without us having that,
I think I would’ve been more devastated.”

How strange that Dad would draw a parallel so
close to what Dulsie was going through now. She could easily
believe he didn’t
feel
love for his father, and yet love was
the only reason that could explain his willingness to give Grandpa
the chance to apologize and accept that apology with grace. Right
now Dulsie felt no warmth toward Shad, yet love made her determined
to guard his secret. Shad wanted to make amends, and Dulsie knew
that was what she should do, but it was proving to be quite
difficult. This was so
personal
.

A nurse suddenly arrived with a wheelchair,
and Dulsie wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that
her current chat with Dad would have to be interrupted. She only
knew this struggle wasn’t going to end soon, and Lord only knew
what Shad was up to now.

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him
who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.

--Aristotle

Wally arrived at the hotel lobby wearing
brown slacks and a striped polo shirt that wasn’t tucked in. He sat
at the table across from Shad in the corner of the dining area
where the hotel offered a complimentary continental breakfast to
their guests. There were only a half dozen tables in the room, and
four were occupied even though this was a Friday morning.

Shad had already eaten a bagel and finished
sipping his cup of orange juice as Wally sat down.

“I’m glad you agreed to come,” Shad stated
matter-of-factly as he set the cup back on the table. “You’re doing
yourself a favor.”

Wally frowned and glanced around the room. “I
expected something a little more private.”

“You would’ve liked something a little more
private. I really don’t believe you have it in you to finish the
job yourself, but obviously I have a whole new reason to not want
to be alone with you.”

Wally’s gaze locked on his face. “Now what
are you going on about?”

Shad couldn’t resist smirking. “I hope you’re
not dedicated to playing that role to the bitter end, or else it
will be bitter. Your secret’s out, Wally, or it will be very soon.
You see, your little plan to keep me silent has sorta rebounded on
you. I wasn’t home the night your hired gun showed up, so he missed
me entirely and shot my wife instead.”

As Shad spoke those last few words he was
inundated with the urge to hurl the table over and grab Wally by
the throat before pounding his head into the drywall. But this
public setting was as much to help Shad maintain control as it was
for his safety. The lines in Wally’s brow furrowed even deeper.

“Sorry about your wife, but I don’t have any
idea what –”

“Shove it. I’ve already had an interesting
conversation with the sheriff. You see, the spouse is always the
prime suspect in this sort of scenario. Naturally they wanted to
search everything I have, even my computer. But my computer is the
one thing I didn’t let them search, which naturally raised their
interest in it so they’ve obtained a search warrant by now to seize
it. So yesterday I skipped town, which naturally will make them
even more interested in catching up to me. And I came here, Wally,
so I could be closer to
you
.”

Wally kept a pretty good poker face, but Shad
was certain that wouldn’t last much longer.

Shad continued. “I figured since they’re
gonna search my computer anyway, I might as well give them
something to look at. So last night I hacked into
your
computer, and I found files and internet data which I saved and
backed up all for the benefit of the police. The twist here is that
the evidence I obtained illegally will be discovered by them in a
legal
manner, and they’ll be very interested in talking to
you – especially after I’ve sang like a canary about our recent
history.”

Wally visibly swallowed and glanced around
the room before he spoke. “You can’t threaten me. This is all a
bluff.”

“I never bluff.”

“You’ve got to be. I keep all the security on
my computer updated. You couldn’t hack in there in one night.”

“Well yeah, you’re right.” Shad smiled even
as he envisioned landing a good right punch on Wally’s nose. “But
you seem to have forgotten I’ve had several days to set up for my
invasion last night. How else would I find out about your little
organization? Part of the beauty of this scenario is that all your
cronies with the children’s rights advocacy group will go down as
well. Many children across the state will finally be safe.” He
locked his gaze with Wally’s. “Especially Tyler.”

Wally actually looked worried enough for Shad
to notice it. “Then why are we having this meeting? Why are you
letting me in on your plan?”

Shad continued to smile. He hadn’t expected
to actually experience some enjoyment from this conversation. Maybe
this was what it had been like for Quaid as he conned swindlers on
his stream boat voyages. “Because it’s one thing to sacrifice
myself and another to take a flying leap into the lions’ den. You
just heard plan A, the one with the bitter end where you wind up in
prison because I see to it the prosecuting attorney slams you with
maximum everything. And I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about
what the other prisoners do to child molesters.

“But I’m giving you the option to choose plan
B. You turn yourself in for attempted murder. And beg to go into
psychotherapy. And I’ll not only keep the prosecuting attorney on a
leash, I’ll help you to secure the very finest counsel money can
buy. You can get a lighter sentence, maybe get to spend time
protected in a psyche ward. Then you can get out and basically be
left alone as long as you don’t try to live too close to school
yards.”

Wally studied him for a few seconds before
replying. “I’d rather take plan C.”

Shad anticipated this. “Illuminate me.”

“Turning myself in won’t get you off the
hook. I’ll tell them about your hacking. I’ll take you down with
me.”

Shad smiled. “Remember the sheriff’s warrant?
I’ve already figured I’ll be disbarred before this is all over
with. But I’ve come to appreciate that I’m a man of many talents.
I’ll just get myself a less stressful job and move on with my life
while in the meantime yours just rots.”

“I can even get creative with what I tell the
police about you.” Wally looked determined. “Once they know about
our distant history it’ll be a cinch to insinuate there’s even more
they’ll need to investigate you for. Going after youth-lovers is
like a witch hunt in this country. Think about what your family
will go through.”

Wally did have some ammunition there, and
Shad flinched inwardly for a second. But he thought of Dulsie on
the hospital bed and remembered he was here to atone for that.

“You don’t get it, do you? I don’t care what
happens to me. And you’ve already done the worst you can to my
family.” Shad’s urge to simply knock the table over on top of Wally
and begin a stomp dance was getting harder to keep reined in. His
voice started to get gruffer. “I’m already a man with nothing to
lose. If you try to screw with me anymore I’ll rip your head off in
front of a mirror so you can watch me do it.”

“Are you threatening me?” Wally’s own tone
was serious.

“Freedom of speech, baby. Now which is it
gonna be? Do I hold your hand down to the police station or do I
get to start tenderizing your face with my fists so that the police
come here?”

Wally’s eyes widened slightly. “You
wouldn’t.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Don’t forget I
learned from the masters.”

“You’ll be the one hauled in by the police if
you assault me.”

“Did you forget the police are already
looking for me and my computer?” Shad leaned forward. “I promise
I’ll try to give you such a thrashing you’ll need to go to the
hospital, which will make it harder for you to make a run for it.
And even if you do, you’ll be forever looking over your shoulder
because you’ll finally be on their radar. And I’ll never give up
looking for you. I’ve found you once, Wally. I’ll find you
again.”

Wally regarded him for a while, then drew a
deep breath and lowered his head into his hands so that his fingers
raked through his hair.

“You really don’t give me any choice, do
you?” Wally muttered to the table top before he looked back up at
Shad. “Then we’ll go to the police station. But be assured –”

“Squeal all you want. You’d disappoint them
if you didn’t. In the meantime I’ll arrange our
transportation.”

With his hands still clasped to the sides of
his head, Wally stared almost blankly at Shad while the younger man
pulled his cell phone from his shorts pocket. While still keeping
one eye on Wally, Shad noticed that Eliot had returned his call,
but because Shad put the phone on silent to keep his conversation
with Wally uninterrupted, his necessary conversation with Eliot was
going to have to wait a little longer. Shad called the cab company
while maintaining a close watch on Wally. When Shad was done
arranging to have a taxi pick them up, Wally lowered his hands to
the table.

“Can I at least get something to drink while
we wait?”

Shad immediately suspected his motivation and
almost snapped back “No.” But his desire to wring Wally’s neck
convinced Shad to respond otherwise. “I’ll go with you.”

He followed Wally very closely as the man
ambled to the counter and approached the coffee pot. As Shad
watched him pour a cup of the steaming beverage his wariness and
readiness increased.

Fascinating, he felt so alive at this moment.
All of Shad’s senses were on high alert, and he believed he could
dodge an airborne stream of scalding coffee while simultaneously
tackling Wally to pummel any more such notions right out of his
head. Was this the kind of power trip that made the cycle of abuse
so addictive to those who joined sub-humanity? Was his brain
experiencing the same neurochemical wash that created people who
became predators? It was an alluring sensation, tantalizing, and
Shad knew he could grow to like it even as a small voice in his
conscience whispered caution.

Wally half-turned and his gaze met Shad’s. In
that couple of seconds Shad actually believed he saw a flicker of
fright in the man’s eyes before he looked away and shuffled back to
the table. Almost disappointed, Shad tailed him back, and as he did
so realized how aware of the room he was. The family with a couple
of chatty school-age kids seemed unaware of them, but the elderly
couple at another table and the three young women at the last table
would occasionally cast a furtive glance their way.

Shad watched Wally silently sip his coffee,
and part of Shad wished Wally would try something. That other dark
demon that had been lurking within him all these years, the one he
always knew was there, raged against being so close to freedom and
yet still held in restraint. Surely Wally would try to escape. This
was too easy.

The taxi finally arrived and again Shad was
disappointed when Wally left his unfinished cup of coffee on the
table as they rose to leave. He slung both the laptop carrier and
satchel over his left shoulder and continued to shadow Wally. The
hotel lobby was quite empty as they walked to the doors. Not even
the clerk was behind the counter. Shad told Wally to open the glass
door and keep walking to the cab. Wally pushed the door open and
stepped outside with Shad right behind him.

Wally suddenly spun back. Shad tensed in the
split second it took Wally to drive his elbow into Shad’s
stomach.

Surely, if you do right, there is uplift. But if you
do not do right Sin couches at the door; Its urge is toward you,
yet you can be its master.

--Genesis 4:7

Wally sprinted toward the back of the cab.
Some of the wind was knocked out of Shad, but his instinctive
tensing left him with enough breath to drop both bags and charge
after Wally.

The older man galloped past the rear of the
taxi and into the nearby parking lot. Shad, focused so intently on
Wally that his awareness of their surroundings had vanished,
pursued him and was gaining. He could hear Wally’s gasps as the man
hurtled toward a black, mid-size sedan.

Wally had to swerve around the rear of the
car to dart toward the driver’s side door. He practically slammed
into the vehicle’s side as Wally grabbed the door handle and yanked
open the door.