Equal Access (6 page)

“It was very subtle,” Dulsie continued. “The
only thing that gave you away was your eyes. I swear they got
darker. Oh, and you did refer to him as a coward who was missing
part of his genitalia.”

Dulsie was as adept at sensing people’s
feelings as Shad was inept. Except in situations he was already
acquainted with and could therefore draw upon empathy, Shad had to
rely on the more obvious physical cues that betrayed a person’s
emotions: the position of the brows, the turn of the mouth. Dulsie
had told him the key to reading somebody was to look at the eyes.
Since Shad already had an aversion to gazing into most people’s
eyes, he remained at a disadvantage.

“Isn’t it funny how people aim for the groin
when they really want to insult somebody?” Shad hoped to steer the
conversation toward a more philosophical discussion.

“Except Dad would’ve said what you said a
lot
louder, to see if it would bait him into a fight. But
even though you kept your cool, I was glad to see you do have a
fire in your belly.” Dulsie gave his hand a squeeze. “It was part
of what convinced me I still wanted to go out with you.”

They’d made that trip together shortly after
the rest of the family figured out Shad’s and Dulsie’s “hanging
out” together had evolved into something more serious. Not that the
two of them had tried to keep their relationship a secret, but
nobody had foreseen such a change in their personal dynamics.
Actually, by that time Dulsie was just the slower of the two to
realize their comradery could lead to commitment. Shad was relieved
to discover his efforts at courtship were working. But that was
also when Jill began to speak up against him.

Shad frowned slightly as they approached
their car, a bronze-toned Buick. “I would’ve thought that’d make
you worry about me.”

“I would’ve worried about
your
genitalia if you hadn’t got pissed off.” Dulsie grinned.

“Well ... it takes balls to be a man.”

Dulsie laughed. Shad had simply quoted what
was known as the Delaney family motto. Quaid imparted those words
to his sons and grandsons, and they had done the same. Any
repetition of it was usually done humorously, but Dulsie was easily
provoked to laughter even though Shad didn’t consider himself to be
particularly witty. And Dulsie’s love of laughter was one of her
many endearing qualities.

“But it’s also to your credit you didn’t do
anything to warrant spending the night in the pokey.” Her grin
became more mischievous. “Rather pacifist approach for a
Delaney.”

Dulsie didn’t let go of his hand as they
slowed to a stop at the front of the car. Shad smiled warmly at
her.

“We Delaneys have managed to stay outta
jail.”

Dulsie chuckled as she placed her other hand
over their clasped fingers. “Only because you haven’t been
caught.”

Shad wondered if she was referring to a
certain computer activity he had started in high school, and for
many reasons still practiced to this day.

Dulsie’s gaze locked with his. “I also talked
to Mom this afternoon.” Shad could tell by the drop in her
joviality although she continued to smile that Dulsie was becoming
serious. “It’s time the two of you called a truce.”

Dulsie’s words caught Shad a bit by surprise
even though this was a familiar topic. “We
are
keeping the
peace.”

“It’s more like a cease fire – or a cold
war.” Dulsie’s smile sharpened. “Both of you have gotten
comfortable with the way things are. Ever since we got engaged I’ve
been waiting for this to blow over. I see now that’s not gonna
happen unless one of you changes something.”

“And by one of us you happen to mean me?”

Dulsie smirked. “I have more influence over
you
.” She sighed slightly. “I kept thinking that when you
never wigged out Mom would finally agree you were the right man for
me. But I’m tired of waiting, and I don’t wanna have to explain to
our kids why there’s this weird dynamic with their dad and
grandma.”

Shad almost blurted out “What kids?” before
he realized Dulsie was referring to the future. Back in the fall,
while she was still twenty-five, Dulsie informed Shad that she was
beginning to hear a ticking noise. They were still young enough she
was content to let nature take care of itself, but also fully aware
they were old enough that success at conception might take several
months.

Shad harbored some reservation about his
ability in regard to that goal – no, he wasn’t going to think about
Brody – but they had been married for just over six years and had
been incredibly successful at contraception, despite a few “risks”
taken over that time which often bequeathed other couples with
babies. Jill must have said something today that caused Dulsie to
reconsider the merits of their family status.

“You know,” Shad replied, “in some Native
American cultures, the husband is supposed to avoid his
mother-in-law at all costs.”

“We aren’t Apaches.” Dulsie removed her hand
from his and reached into one of her slacks pockets. “Remember when
the two of you used to like each other?”

“I still like Jill.”

Dulsie locked her gaze on his again as she
pulled a set of keys out from the pocket. “You have a funny way of
showing it.”

“It’s because of respect I stay outta her
way.” Shad shook his head. “And she doesn’t play mind games with
me. Believe me, it could be much worse.”

“Like I said, both of you have gotten
comfortable with this little arrangement.” Dulsie stepped toward
the driver’s side door of the car. “I’ve figured out the only power
I can sway in this matter is to make it uncomfortable.”

Shad watched Dulsie unlock the car door and
open it. “Are you going after her, too?”

Dulsie’s eyes rolled before she looked at him
again. “I’ve been working on her all these years. Pointing out all
the great things you do. Singing your praises every chance I can
get. What I’ve finally figured out is that Mom isn’t going to
believe you’ve changed unless
you
change
something.”

Shad almost hated to admit it, but what
Dulsie just said was brilliant. If anything, he was surprised it
had taken her this long to come to that conclusion. It certainly
would never have occurred to him.

Shad stepped over to the passenger side door
as Dulsie slipped behind the steering wheel. After getting seated
and closing the door, he leaned into the back seat area to place
the leather case on the upholstered bench. As Dulsie clicked on her
seatbelt, Shad turned toward his wife and gripped the steering
wheel with his right hand.

“I love you,” Shad murmured as he leaned
closer to Dulsie.

“Don’t change the subject,” she growled just
before they kissed. As their lips parted she smiled at him. “I love
you, too. But you’re not off the hook.”

Shad settled into the seat and fastened the
safety belt as Dulsie started the car’s engine.

“Anyway, it’s time for you to quit dodging
her,” Dulsie stated as she steered the car into the street and
began their drive home.

“Umm....” Shad figured he had to respond, but
he had no idea what to say.

Why couldn’t he just handle one thing at a
time? While Shad knew he needed to follow through with Dulsie’s
request – Pap had warned him never to disregard the instructions of
a Leeds Woman – his larger concern was figuring out what to do
about Wally.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Shad finally
replied a few seconds after his stammer.

Although Dulsie’s revelation was one of the
last things he wanted to hear about right now, Shad knew she was
looking out for his best interests. Dulsie, after all, was the
unexpected answer to his most desperate prayers.

A man is what he is, not what he used to be.

--Yiddish proverb

Dulsie thought about the future as usual that
Saturday morning while she harvested some vegetables from the
garden with Shad’s help and the dog’s supervision.

The garden was the only cultivated ground on
the little five-acre farm the two of them rented. It was a small
plot, not nearly as large as Dulsie planned on tending someday, but
this morning she still had a decent harvest of squash, beans,
tomatoes and okra. The garden was laid out behind and to the side
of the compact, single-story farmhouse they lived in. More directly
behind the house was a modest and weathered wood shed where they
kept the lawn mower and garden tools. Farther back and to the other
side of the home was the gate to the turkey pasture which claimed
most of what remained of the land. Since they lived on the backside
of the property owner’s farm, there was plenty of other land around
them, with the nearest neighbor living half a mile down the
road.

With the owner’s permission they improved the
fencing around that field when Dulsie and Shad moved in three years
ago. Immediately afterward they built a simple shed that was just
large enough to house thirty turkeys. Finally Dulsie purchased
twenty-five poults and a Great Pyrenees puppy, and began the task
of establishing her future heritage turkey farm.

These weren’t the commercial, broad-breasted
white turkeys like Dad raised for almost forty years. During her
childhood Dulsie wondered where all the turkeys were that looked
like the ones decorating the school around Thanksgiving, so she
developed a quest to find them. Dulsie received an education on the
history of turkey raising and eventually discovered the foundation
stock for the commercial birds were the “standard” bronze variety
that were more reminiscent of the wild turkeys. This variety had
become rare, so Dulsie became part of a group dedicated to
preserving the old-fashioned birds. As an added benefit their silly
antics amused her, and Dulsie was convinced that turkeys were proof
God had a sense of humor.

The numbers fluctuated as surplus toms and
cull hens were sold or butchered and more poults hatched in the
spring. But Dulsie’s little flock had grown to the size their small
acreage could handle. When her parents proposed earlier this year
to sell their own farm to Dulsie and Shad next spring, after Mom
retired from her job with the electric cooperative, Dulsie was
elated.

Dad was sixty-three years old now, and her
parents had more stumbled into turkey farming than planned on it.
While they were a young couple looking for a farm to buy, an
eighty-acre place with four barns and a rather neglected house came
up for sale. Since Dad had heard that the only thing dumber than
turkeys was the person who raised them, he figured he qualified for
the work. Unlike Uncle Pax, who planned on remaining with the
family farm until he was either too weak or too muddled to labor in
the fields anymore, Dad always planned on retiring while he had
many good years left in him. Her parents hoped to buy a nice little
house around the nearby old German community of Westphalia.

Since both of Dulsie’s older brothers had
relocated into other parts of the state and were leading lives that
didn’t involve turkeys – at least not the feathered variety – and
Dulsie apparently had succumbed to some kind of genetic defect that
caused her to be interested in turkeys, her parents figured she
would have use for the farm. When Dad told them a few months ago
that by spring next year they’d like to move on, he pointed out
that Shad, who had lots of experience in property transfers, could
take care of the legal aspects. Shad hemmed and hawed for a few
seconds before commenting that Dad was proposing the kind of
situation Shad would never advise a client to do: conduct business
within the family. Dad laughed and remarked, “That only applies to
normal families. We aren’t normal!” Shad got her father’s point and
agreed to take care of the paperwork.

Dulsie always appreciated how things had a
way of working out for the best. They would be getting a bigger
farm where she could really develop her efforts to help preserve a
heritage breed. And hopefully soon after she and Shad got settled
in they could get started on a family, whereupon Dulsie would leave
her job as a financial counselor and devote her time to their home
and farm.

Shad’s income in the last year and a half was
more modest than it had been during his first year and a half as a
staff attorney, but Dulsie had learned thrift at Mom’s knee. She
also figured his earnings would go up as Shad became more
established, whether in spite of or because of his insistence to
keep himself affordable to the middle and lower earning classes.
Dad claimed his current farm did only a little better than break
even, which was why he did side work as a self-employed handyman
and Mom worked in an accounts receivable office. It was hard for a
family farm to thrive in these modern times, but it was a lifestyle
Dulsie didn’t want to give up.

When she moved into a dorm in Columbia for
her freshman year of college, Dulsie quickly confirmed that she
didn’t like city life. It was nice that Shad, who’d already
completed a couple of years in college and had moved into an
apartment in Columbia the previous year, was there to show her
around, run errands with her, share rides.... Dulsie had never
imagined they would wind up getting married less than two years
after that. And to think she once believed there was no way Dulsie
would ever get married before actually graduating from college.

It was one of the arguments Mom used when
Dulsie and Shad got engaged. Dulsie was too young. And although
Dulsie agreed that only twenty years old qualified as young, she
wasn’t getting married for the same reasons as many other women who
married so youthfully. She wasn’t fleeing a bad home life or
seeking someone to help her achieve “independence” from her
parents. Dulsie and Shad were both fully aware that “young love”
was more like a stream – all bubbly and exciting but lacking in
much practical use – while mature love was more like a major river,
which might look slow and a bit dull but was the force that
contained enduring power. Shad wasn’t trying to rush her into
anything and was absolutely determined that Dulsie’s own studies
would continue unabated. They shared the same values, and Shad was
showing all the qualities of a reliable family man. After all, he
had learned to be so at Uncle Pax’s knee. Getting married just
before Shad started law school would be both convenient and
challenging, although Dulsie now admitted she didn’t fully realize
just how consuming law school would be, even for someone as bookish
as Shad. She quipped that if their marriage could survive that
first three years, it could survive anything.