Escapade (19 page)

“I had my attorney check those stocks I told you about,
that I inherited. It seems that they aren’t worthless. They won’t bring in much money, but they’re worth enough to make a down payment on what I owe Donner. So I’m going to fly out to Vegas and work out a payment schedule,” he said with a shrug. “Afterward, I suppose I’ll have to learn to work harder for a living, because I’m out of allowance and Jo
sh won’t let me borrow. When I
get back,” he said heavily “I’ll get help. He was right about that, too.” He smiled. “What do you think?”

“I think I’m proud of you.”

He looked embarrassed, but he smiled lazily, back in character.

“If you’d ever given your brother the chance, he’d have been just as caring about you,” she told him “You’ve threatened and begged and hounded him, but you’ve never really put out a hand and asked him to help.”

“
I
shouldn’t have to. Damn it, he’s my brother!”

“But not your keeper,” she added. “You don’t help people stand alone by giving them crutches.”

He shifted, leaning back against his desk. He felt older. He looked at Amanda and felt deprived. Alone. He managed a smile. “You look pretty frazzled.”

Her slim shoulders lifted and fell. “I’m lusting after your big brother, and he won’t let me within ten feet of him,” she said with a self-mocking smile. “How’s that for irony?”

“You could always seduce him,” he said.

She shook her head. “He’s set traps all around the bed. It’s just as well. There wouldn’t be enough room for Terri and me both in it.”

He hesitated
. He almost told her that he’d l
ied, that
Terri was deliriously happy with her Greek husband and she was even pregnant. But hope died hard, and he couldn’t help thinking that Amanda might one day turn to him if his brother kept her at bay.

“If you ever need a shoulder, here it is,” he said softly, patting it.

She smiled for him. “Thanks, Brad. I do care about you, you know,” she added.

“I know.”

She picked up her purse and started toward the door. As she turned, she surprised a pained, bleak look on his handsome features. “Ain’t life terrible?” she drawled.

“It is that. Don’t walk under any taxicabs.”

“Don’t jump off any roofs.”

He smiled and opened the door for her. “Not today, at least,” he agreed. “I’ve got a few things to do.”

She nodded. Impulsively she reached up and kissed his darkly tanned cheek, feeling him stiffen at the contact. “You’ll make it,” she whispered. “I have confidence in you.”

He flushed. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

She smiled and left him standing there, nodding at the receptionist.

“Mr. Lawson?” the receptionist said hesitantly.

Brad had been in thought. He turned, his eyebrows lifted. “Yes?”

“I, uh, didn’t like to tell you in front of Miss Todd, but your brother was here about five minutes ago.”

He felt pale. “Josh was?!”

“Yes, sir. He opened the door and looked in and closed it. He left in a rather angry rush.”

“Check and see if he’s in his office,” he said quickly, knowing all too well what Josh had seen.

The receptionist buzzed his office and asked, but Josh’s secretary said that he’d gone to the airport. He’d moved up his flight for his business trip to Europe.

“I see,” Brad murmured. He went back into his office, deep in thought. Josh had gone off without a fight. Leaving him a clear field with Amanda? He smiled to himself. Well, here was an opportunity he wasn’t about to waste! He’d take care of his gambling debt, then he’d take care of Amanda.

J
osh was on board a jet headed for New York, where he was to catch the Concorde for Paris. He hadn’t planned to leave this early or without saying good-bye to anyone, but when he’d seen Brad kissing Amanda, he knew he didn’t dare stay in the building a minute longer. In all his life he’d never known such murderous rage.

What made it worse was that Amanda hadn’t been resisting. She’d been
standing docilely in Brad’s em
brace, without a single protest.

He’d wanted to knock the door down and rage at them both, at the top of his lungs. But that would accomplish nothing. If Amanda wanted Brad, how could he say anything? Despite his threats, he had no right to decide Amanda’s future for her.

Brad did care for her, and he could give her children. The thought made him sick. He stared blindly out the window, knowing that a child would give Amanda a kind of fulfillment he could never offer her. He’d just done the only decent thing he could do: he’d left, giving Brad a free hand, an open field. If Amanda wanted his brother,
she had every right to decide that for herself, without any pressure from him.

He remembered so well how her body had felt in his arms that last time, how sweet it had been to have those soft cries of passion from her, to be the first to touch her innocent body. He’d have that, and the memory of her compassion and tenderness, until he died. Perhaps he could live on it, if he tried.

CHAPTER

SIXTEEN

I
t
was late, and Nelson Stuart was just bringing Mirri home from the theater. He’d dressed for the occasion, as had she. But this time her simple black dress had been very conservative. She dressed to please the man in her life, without guile or flair, She wore a conventional amount of makeup and perfume as well. The way Nelson responded to her was all the reward she needed. He looked at her as if she were his whole world. Day by day his barriers fell, his closeness to her grew. She wondered sometimes if he’d ever have said a word to her if she hadn’t blatantly invited him over for supper that night. Now she wished she’d thought of it sooner.

“You’re grinning,” he teased as he walked her to her door. “Why?”

“I was wishing I’d made supper for you two years ago,” she confessed.

He took her hand in his and held it gently. “So do I. I feel bad about the way things happened with us,” he said, his dark eyes apologetic. “I’d do it differently, if I could start over.”

“We’re doing very well as we are,” she replied. She reached up on tiptoe and touched her lips to his.

He drew back at once, softening the rejection with a smile. “Not too much of that, if you please,” he murmured dryly. “I have my reputation to consider.”

“Bosh! You and your reputation are maddening,” she muttered. “You never kiss me.”

He cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later on. Right now, it’s important that we get t
o know each other as people.”

“Maybe so, but you could still kiss me,” she reminded him. “I’m not untouchable. ”

His big, lean hand brushed her hair gently. “Mirri, you had a hard time of it. I don’t want to rush you. The way we’re going, it looks like we’ll have years and years together to learn each other in bed. I want you to be certain before you take that last step with me.”

She started to argue, but, as usual, he stopped her with a light, brushing kiss.

“Good night,” he said, and smiled. “See you at work day after tomorrow.”

“Aren’t you going to church with me in the morning?
”

“I wish I could,” he said, and meant it. “But I’ve got to fly out to New Orleans first thing in the morning to meet with one of our special agents. It’s an unusual situation. I can’t talk about it.”

“I understand,” she said sadly. “I’ll see you Monday, then.”

“Work isn’t more important than you are to me,” he said unexpectedly, his stare level. “This is the last time I’ll do any work after hours, for anyone. You’ll come first, with me.”

She actually blushed. “I didn’t ask you
…
”
she whispered.

“Should yo
u have to?” he replied. “I…
” He cleared his throat. “I care about you,” he said quickly, and averted his eyes.

She cared about him, too. She loved him half to death. She wanted to tell him, but he was looking at his watch and muttering, as he did sometimes.

“I have to go. Lock up after I leave, and don’t go out at night by yourself,” he said firmly.

“You too,” she returned just as firmly. “Men can get knocked over the head, too.”

He chuckled. “I know that. I work for the FBI.”

“Do you, really?” she asked, grinning up at him, “What a coincidence.”

He tweaked her nose and winked before he left her standing there. She went in and closed the door, but she watched him out the curtains until he drove out of sight
.
He loved her. She was certain of it. But as time passed, he was just as distant from her physically, even as they shared meals and television programs, movies and theaters and concerts. He wouldn’t let her within arm’s length. Finally she decided that any progress was going to be up to her. She debated her next move carefully, weighing all the consequences. It would be a big step for her, with her memories. But she felt whole and reborn and ready for a full life. So she began to plot Nelson Stuart’s downfall.

She invited him to supper the next Saturday night. A
ll
that week she was demure and standoffish. She gave him the same physical coolness that he’d been giving her, which made him hesitant and uncertain as the days
passed. By the time Friday rolled around, he was smoking like a furnace and visibly off balance around her. That worked right into her plans.

Two could play at his game, she thought merrily, and proceeded to cook the most exquisite dinner she’d ever made. Then she dressed and made up her face carefully and waited for her victim to show up. This, she promised herself, was a night Nelson would never forget!

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

W
hen
the door to Mirr
i’s apartment opened,
Nelson Stuart stood in the doorway and stared.

Mirri was wearing a low-cut electric blue cocktail dress, her gorgeous hair curling down her back. The lights were low, candles graced the table. Soft music was playing. If he’d planned her seduction himself, he couldn’t have done better. But it looked as if the tables had been turned.

“Is anything wrong, Nelson?” she asked with a vacant little smile.

“No. It looks nice. So do you. Here.” From behind his back he produced a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers wrapped in green paper, smiling at her delight.

“Thank you!”

He chuckled as he bent his head. “Can’t you do better than that?” he drawled.

“Sure. But you were the one who didn’t want me to,” she reminded him.

He sighed ruefully. “It’s been a long, dry week,”
he replied. “Maybe I’ve gone overbo
ard a little with restraint.”

Her sly tactics had worked! She’d actually made him approachable. She smiled wickedly as she reached up and put her mouth gently to his, kissing him with tenderness and warmth. The time they’d spent together recently had been magic, for both of them. They grew closer as they learned more about each other. If Mirri hadn’t already been in love with him, she certainly would have been now. He was her whole world.

“Very nice,” he murmured against her mouth. “Have you been taking lessons?”

“I have this sexy Texas tutor,” she whispered. “He’s very good at kissing.”

“Don’t tell him, but I expect he’s a beginner, just like you.” He laughed, thinking how easy it was to tell her all his secrets. She was already part of him.

“Think so?” She smiled. “I hope you’re hungry. I cooked Stroganoff, specially.”

“Am I being bribed?” he asked as he closed the door and tossed his Stetson onto a chair.

“In a way,” she said demurely, her eyes lingering on his nice white shirt and tie and the sports coat and dress slacks he was wearing with them. “I thought if I filled you full of good food and excellent white wine, you might let me make love to you.”

He lifted both eyebrows. “Why, Mirri, I’m shocked! I never dreamed you were setting me up for seduction.”

“And you’re an FBI agent?” she chided.

He grinned at her with evident delight.
“
I want to see you ca
rr
y me to bed. That ought to
be one for the record books.”

She grimaced, eyeing his tall figure. “Does it count if I have to drag you in feet first?”

“You might consider the sofa. It’s closer.”

“It’s lumpy,” she remarked. “And things live under the cushions. Old knives and forks, paper towels, paper clips, stuff like that.”

“We wouldn’t want you to bruise your back,” he agreed.

“Your
back,” she returned. “If I seduce you, I get to be on top.”

She realized what she was saying and blushed. So did he, before they both laughed. The thought of sex was no longer frightening to Mirri, who found her Texas boss so desirable that she wanted him all the time. Rarely did she think about the rape unless she was with her therapist. Nelson had gently coaxed her into therapy, and now she was glad he had.

Their romance had made working together difficult; they both beamed and flushed when they got near each other, and everyone in the office noticed. Even the most hard-boiled agents were smiling behind their backs.

“I think we’d better eat before we decide who gets seduced,” he murmured dryly.

“All right. But I must tell you that playing hard to get won’t deter me,” she assured him as she led him to the table. “It only makes me more determined.”

“You wicked girl!”

She laughed. Her eyes wandered lovingly over his broad shoulders and down to his chest, dark under the white shirt.

“
Are you hairy-chested?
”
she asked, lifting a spoonful of fruit to her mouth and taking her time about putting it in.

He was feeling less rational by the minute. “Yes,” he said. “Could you
…
eat that, and not play with it?” he asked, his eyes on her mouth.

“Why?” she asked, and slowly sucked a grape past her teeth.

“Mirri!
…
” he groaned.

She swallowed and smiled with pure delight at his discomfort. She’d waited a long time to feel like a whole woman again. His innocence was a potent aphrodisiac, as if she needed one! She was on fire for him.

The nightmares were forgotten as she got out of her chair and went to him. Her eyes were a soft blue, hungry, as they met his.

He watched the way she moved toward him, and his heart threatened to beat him to death. “This is seduction,” he accused.

“I notice that you’re not fighting very hard,” she whispered. She bent and put her mouth gently against his. At the same time she eased onto his lap, feeling the rigidity of his thighs under her with delight.

His lean hands held her waist while his mouth answered the tender play of hers.

“It’s always been dangerous. That’s why I’ve tried to keep you at arm’s length,” he breathed into her mouth. “But tonight it’s explosive. I’m losing control.”

“I know.”

He could barely breathe. He lifted his mouth and looked down at her. “Mirri, I don’t want this,” he said roughly. “I don’t want a quick little roll in the hay.”

She smiled against his throat. “Neither do I. Does this shirt button or snap? Ah!”

She unfastened the buttons while he tried to stay her
fingers, but she soon had the shirt open to his belt buckle, and her caressing hands made him groan.

“I never knew you were this hairy,” she said, smiling with delight. Her fingers pushed insistently into the thicket of dark, curling hair, and she tugged at it sensuously. “I love it, Nelson.”

“
Listen, you little fool, I may not be very experienced, but I sure as hell am capable!”

“I noticed.” She reached between them and slowly unlaced the bodice of her dress before shrugging out of it. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Her bare, pink breasts pressed into his hairy chest, and he cried out, his hands contracting on her back.

“God in heaven!” he groaned, shuddering.

She lifted herself enough to find his mouth. But she was in control no longer. His mouth opened, pushing her lips apart. His tongue darted into her mouth and made her gasp with the onrush of passion.

He was whispering something, his voice desperate, his mouth trembling. He got up, cradling Mirri in his arms, and carried her into the bedroom.

“I warned you!” he groaned as he slid alongside her, his hands feverishly undressing her. “
Mirri, forgive me, I must!…
”

“It’s all right,” she whispered, her hands smoothing his thick hair. She lay completely vulnerable to him, her body pink and soft, waiting. She watched him as he shucked off his clothing, cursing as he sat down to pull off his boots.

She eased close and pressed her bare breasts to his broad, cool back. Her eyes closed as she felt him move and heard the sound of fabric rustling.

“I don’t want to frighten you,” he bit off as he turned and eased her down onto the coverlet.

She stretched out accommodatingly, her eyes soft and trusting. They dropped to his aroused body and lingered there for an instant before she blushed and jerked them back to his eyes.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she said. “How can I be? I love you, Nelson. I’ve never loved anyone so much.”

His chest stilled. He looked into her eyes with stark wonder and monstrous desire. His body trembled. “I’m like a boy,” he whispered. “I don’t even know what to do!”

“Neither do I, really,” she said, her voice as hushed as his. “I didn’t get to choose before. Now I can.” Her hands reached up to touch his broad chest. “I want you. However it happens, it will be all right.”

He groaned. His head fell to her breasts and moved against them. He remembered reading about women who enjoyed the feel of a man’s mouth on them, so he turned his cheek and his lips began to explore one firm, hard- tipped breast. He heard her breath catch. He did it again, harder, and worked his way slowly to the nipple. It fe
l
t hard and warm in his mouth. He tasted it and she gasped. He sucked at it and she shivered and began to moan.

It wasn’t as difficult as he’d imagined. By listening to the sounds she made and following her reactions, he discovered what pleased her best. He eased her back against the pillows and discovered her body with more pleasure than he’d ever experienced in his life. There was a sweet, warm smell to her skin, her own perfume. She tasted of woman. He drew his face against her stomach and caught his breath when she began to plead with him.

He knew what she wanted. He wanted it, too. His body was taut with angu
ished hunger, but he didn’t real
ly know what to do beyond the obvious.

He slid between her legs and kissed her eyelids, so that the thick lashes came down over her wild eyes. His lips eased over her mouth, and one lean hand slid under her thigh, gently lifting her hips. He moved, settling on her, and began slowly to penetrate her body.

She stiffened and made a sound. She shuddered. Her breathing stopped. He lifted his head quickly and looked into her dilated eyes. He felt her nails stabbing into his arm and was afraid that she was remembering what had been done to her long ago.

“Are you frightened? I can stop, even now, if you want me to,” he whispered unsteadily. Although his body hurt from having to hold back, he would have borne the pain for her sake. “The choice is yours. It always will be.”

“Oh, I don’t
…
want you to stop, Nelson,” she gasped. “You don’t understand. I
…
” She flushed and bit her lip. “It wasn’t fear
…
”
She couldn’t find the words. Instead she lifted her hips and pushed upward in a soft, tender rhythm. She gasped and her teeth clenched. “It’s
…
that!” She cried out and shivered.

“My God, is it hurting? Is that it?” he asked in anguish.

“No!” She caught his mouth and dragged it down onto hers while her hips
writhed under his. “Nelson…
don’t you know
…
what’s happening to me?” she groaned.

She whispered to him, finally, embarrassment giving way to exasperation. She arched and shivered, and he looked as if he’d just been given the crown jewels.

“For the love of heaven!” he exclaimed, astonished.

Through her violent satisfaction she began to laugh. “I never dreamed
…
!” She cried out again.

Neither had he ever dreamed of such pleasure. But he couldn’t get the words out. He drove for his own fulfillment, finally convinced that whatever he was doing to her, it wasn’t painful. He pushed down, hard, and convulsed. His body flew into the sun, splintered into rays of exquisite pleasure, in the first complete fulfillment he’d ever known.

When he collapsed on her, Mirri was still riding the clouds. She shivered one last time and gave up the greedy search for even more satisfaction than he’d already given her. She clung to him, her mouth touching his shoulders, his throat, his chin. She shivered with him in the glorious aftermath.

“I thought you didn’t know what to do,” she whispered when they were lying together quietly.

“I didn’t. I must have gotten by on instinct.” He chuckled, delighted with himself. He stared at her with such arrogant pleasure that she hit him. “Damn it, I’m good,” he murmured, trying not to sound too conceited. “And here I thought I was killing you.”

“So did I for a few seconds.” She laughed and kissed him softly. “It felt like death, but it was sweet and heady, and I want it again and again and again.”

“So do I.” He lifted himself above her and joined his body to hers in one smooth motion, smiling at her look of surprise. “I think we’re going to discover that I’m one of those rare fellows who can go all night,” he murmured. “I always thought I might be, with the right woman.”

She smiled through her building excitement, gasping when he began to move. “I’m glad that I’m the right woman, Nelson!”

“No nightmares?” he whispered.

“No. Not ever
…
again. Not with you.”

“Good.”

“You have to marry me now,” she whispered as she lifted to him.

His heart felt as if it might burst from happiness. “As soon as it’s daylight,” he promised, smiling as the pleasure built. “Did you buy me a ring?”

“Of course I did.” She laughed, panting now from the exertion and the joy of belonging to him. “Do you want me to get up and look for it?” she asked innocently.

“Not right away.” He drew his body against hers from side to side and watched her groan and shudder. “I’m glad you like that, because I like it, too.” He brushed his open mouth over hers. “I love this with you. I love every
…
second of it!” he groaned as he began to lose control.