Escaping Perfect (20 page)

“They got me six seats down front with backstage passes,” Jasper said, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans. “You'll be there, right? You know there's no way I can do this without you.”

I glanced at Shelby. She looked quickly away. I couldn't believe she was really going to make me do this, but what choice did I have? It was either break up with Jasper or leave, which would mean being without Jasper anyway. As much as I hated Shelby in that moment, she had a point. I'd started to make a life here. I had a great apartment with a cool roommate, a job I loved, and as of last night Fiona and I were on the mend. Did I really want to press my luck and try again somewhere else?

But how could I possibly break the heart of the only person who cared about me?

Pressing my lips together to keep from crying, I looked up into Jasper's eyes. He was so happy. So very excited. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

“Jasper, I—”

“Lia? I need to talk to you a second,” Shelby interjected.

“What?” I asked, baffled.

“Your room. Now.”

Jasper looked about as confused as I felt when Shelby grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into my bedroom. She turned around and clicked the door closed.

“You can't break up with him,” she whispered.

My brain went weightless. “What? But you
just
said—”

“Not now,” Shelby whispered through her teeth. “You saw how excited he is, and you know what almost happened when you didn't show up for that audition last week. If you don't go to this show, he's going to be devastated. We can't risk him getting up there and messing up. You can't break up with him. Not yet.”

My brain was reeling. Was this how it was going to be now? Was Shelby Tanaka going to run my entire life?

But I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'd been granted a reprieve. I didn't have to crush Jasper's heart at the happiest moment of his life. I didn't have to crush my own heart.

“But after tomorrow night, as soon as this gig is over, you'll do it,” Shelby said.

“Shelby . . .”

She leveled me with a glare. “You'll do it, or the entire
world will know exactly where Cecilia Montgomery's been hiding out.”

“He's going to be shattered,” I said, trying to make her hurt one tenth of the amount she was hurting me.

Oddly, Shelby smiled. “Well, that's just perfect, because then I'll be there to pick up the pieces.”

She turned and yanked the door open, flouncing out of my room. “Good news, Jasper! I'm free tomorrow night too! Lia and I can
both
come.”

Chapter Twenty

Sitting in the front row
the following night with Britta, Fiona, Shelby, Daria, and Ryan, I was so nervous it might as well have been me going up on stage. The “arena” Jasper had so casually mentioned the day before had turned out to be Bridgestone Arena, where the Nashville Predators hockey team played and artists like Bruce Springsteen and Katy Perry had performed for sold-out crowds. The stage was huge and the audience was rowdy. We were so close, I could see the scuffs on the roadies' shoes as they placed the microphones on little x's of tape and made sure the drum set was perfectly positioned under the huge banner with the name
JASPER CASE
scrawled across it in red cursive.

“I can't believe he's playing the arena,” Shelby said. For once there was not a hint of insincerity or judgment in her
voice. She was as awed as the rest of us. “This is unreal.”

“I hope they've set up their equipment right,” Daria muttered, clutching her purse on her lap. “I've heard stories about people getting electrocuted on these stages just 'cause they plugged one wire in wrong.”

“That's a happy thought,” Shelby said.

Daria cut her a look that could have sliced through the heart of a raging bull. Shelby averted her eyes, and the lights went down. I didn't think anyone in the world could intimidate Shelby Tanaka, but clearly, Daria was the exception.

“Omigod.” My hand automatically found Fiona's as the arena filled with cheers from the floor all the way up to the lofty ceilings miles above. “It's happening. It's really happening.”

“He's gonna do fine,” Fiona assured me, though her hand was sweating almost as much as mine. “He's gonna do great.”

“Yes, he is,” Shelby said, and looked at me. “You just remember what you have to do when he's done.”

As if she was ever going to let me forget. I'd been trying not to think about it—trying to focus on sending only positive vibes Jasper's way—but every once in a while the reality of my tenuous situation would creep into my heart, shutting out everything else.

Break up with Jasper or get caught. Break up with Jasper
or go home. Break up with Jasper or face my mom. There was no choice really. Either way, after this concert Jasper and I were done.

“What's she talking about?” Fiona asked.

“Nothing. Don't worry about it.”

I could tell Fiona was about to press the issue, but then Jasper walked out onstage and I automatically rose to my feet, dragging Fiona with me. The noise around us swelled once more. It was amazing how all those voices could blend into one bone-shaking shriek. How could Jasper look so comfortable up there? So confident? Clearly, he'd been blessed with natural stage presence. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes. Daria clutched her purse even tighter, while Shelby watched Jasper with covetous eyes. I looked down the row at Ryan, but he seemed to be busy telling all the girls around him that he knew Jasper personally. Smart guy.

Jasper and I had talked before the show about what he'd say when he came out and decided that he should keep it simple. “No one's really there to see me,” Jasper had said. “They don't need to hear my life story. They just need to hear me sing.”

Now he stepped up to the microphone and smiled. The arena's cameras projected his face up onto the jumbo screens surrounding the stage, and I could feel every girl in the room swoon. Or maybe that was just my heart flopping over.

“How y'all doin'? I'm Jasper Case,” Jasper said. Then he looked down at me and winked.

The arena filled with more cheers, but Jasper had already launched into his first song, a quick, danceable tune that would definitely get the crowd in the mood to party. Fiona and I grinned at each other as his voice seemed to fill me from the inside out.

Jasper was doing it. He was living the dream, right here and now. I decided to let him take me along for the ride, to not think about what was going to happen later. This moment was all his.

*  *  *

Backstage was a total scene. We'd watched the entire concert, including the second opening act after Jasper, as well as Luke Ralston and his two encores. The moment the lights had gone up, the arena had started emptying out, and a bodyguard three times the size of the Tank had appeared to escort us to Jasper's dressing room. I had thought that having a backstage pass meant something, that only a few people would be allowed in this hallowed space, but as it turned out, the hallways were packed.

There were musicians, makeup artists, publicists, fans, and, of course, reporters. Every time I saw someone with a notepad, a recording device, or a camera, I turned my face
away. By the time we got to Jasper's dressing room, I had whiplash. There was a line of girls waiting alongside the door, each of them clutching a T-shirt or a program and a Sharpie, and some of them bouncing on their toes like they had to pee.

Jasper's autograph. These girls were waiting to get my boyfriend's autograph.

“Wait here,” the bodyguard ordered our little band. His voice was like an earthquake.

He rapped twice on the door, and Evan Meyer, Jasper's publicist, opened it. He smiled from behind his thick glasses when he saw me. “Lia! Come on in!”

The six of us walked inside to the groans of the waiting horde. Jasper was sitting on a red velvet couch answering questions into a smartphone for a reporter. His face lit up at the sight of us.

“Hey, y'all!”

He got up and hugged Daria, giving her a big kiss on one cheek. Then he grabbed me and bent me backward in a dramatic dip. I blushed and laughed as his hat tumbled off his head. He kissed me, and the rest of the world faded away, until I was back on my feet again.

“Can you believe this?” Jasper asked, widening his arms. The dressing room was large, with a flat-screen TV, a few
couches, a well-lit mirror, and half a dozen people milling around.

“Jasper, you were amazing,” Fiona told him, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

He leaned in to hug her. “Thank you. Thanks for coming.”

He hugged Shelby, too, and slapped hands with Ryan. The second his back was turned, Shelby gave me a wide-eyed, prompting look. My heart thunked. Now? She wanted me to break up with him now? In front of everybody?

“Hey, you guys mind if I have a minute alone with Lia?” Jasper asked, holding my hand in his.

Now my heart really started to pound. He didn't know what he was asking for. If we were left alone, then I'd really have no excuse not to break up with him.

“No, that's okay, really,” I said. “Don't throw them out. We just got here.”

But Evan was already ushering everybody to and through the door. I heard the girls outside groan again when it started to close.

“C'mere.”

Jasper pulled me to him by the belt loop on my jeans and kissed me in a way that made me forget about everything else. His hand cupped my neck, and I could practically feel the energy pulsating off of him. When he finally
pulled back, he held me so close, all I could see was him. His deep blue eyes, his kiss-stung lips. I wanted to stay right there, forever.

“I love you,” he said.

My heart exploded, and my smile nearly split my face. But in the next second it hit me, what I was supposed to be doing—what I
had
to do—and I took a step back.

“No . . . you don't mean that,” I said, my insides twisting and contracting. “That's just the adrenaline talking.”

“No, no. It's not.” Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me against him again. “I was going to tell you the other day, before you left Nashville, but I chickened out. If anything, the adrenaline's making me brave.” He held his hands gently against the sides of my face and made me look him in the eye. “Lia, I know it's fast. I know it's crazy. But being with you . . . it's like coming home. I feel like with you is where I'm supposed to be. It's where I want to be.”

My resolve crumbled. How could it not, hearing a speech like that? He'd just put into words exactly what I'd been feeling for days. “Jasper . . . I love you too.”

His smile was heart-stopping. Our lips met, and we kissed and kissed like there was nothing else in the world to do.

Then there was a knock at the door, and it opened a crack. Evan stuck his head in.

“Hey, Jasper, you really should come out here and greet some of your fans,” he said.

Jasper grinned at me. “Fans. You hear that? I got fans.”

“Go. Meet your adoring public,” I said, squeezing his hand.

Evan opened the door wider.

“Only if you come with me.”

I laughed and Jasper tugged me over to the door. The second we were through it, the screaming started, and then I was blinded. Camera flashes popped and strobed as the girls waiting in line moved forward as one to mob Jasper. I threw my hand up to block my face from the wall of photographers. My heart pounded an erratic beat inside my throat as Jasper's hand was ripped out of mine. He was surrounded. I searched for an escape route and saw Fiona, Britta, and Daria shooting me concerned looks. Then Shelby grabbed me and flung me back into the dressing room, slamming the door behind us.

“That was not good,” she said.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.”

My brain could form no words other than those. I walked to the farthest wall and pressed my back up against it, sinking to the floor with my hands to my temples. Phantom flashes floated across my vision, and I knew Shelby was talking—could see her lips moving—but all I could hear were the
screams and the sound of the blood rushing through my ears.

They'd gotten my picture. They must have. There were dozens of them. Dozens. And not just professional photographers. All those fans with camera phones and Facebook pages and Instagram accounts and blogs. Someone was going to post a picture with me in it.

I should have known this was going to happen. I'd gotten sloppy. Careless. Too wrapped up in Jasper. And now I was totally and utterly screwed.

Shelby knelt on the floor in front of me and brought her hands down on top of my boots as if she was holding my feet down to help me do sit ups in PE. Suddenly the room zipped into focus. I could hear again.

“Lia! Lia! Talk to me! Are you okay? Are you having a panic attack?”

“They're gonna out me,” I said. “You won't have to do it because they're going to do it for you.”

Someone pounded on the door, and I flinched.

“It's okay. I locked it,” Shelby said.

“I can't go home, Shelby. I can't go back there. I can't.”

She sat back on her heels. For the first time since I'd known her, I felt as if she actually saw me. “Wow. What did they do to you?”

I looked away, rubbing my chin on the side of my arm.
I couldn't have stopped shaking if I tried, so I didn't bother. I just sat there, trembling like a leaf, in front of my worst enemy.

“Listen, maybe it's okay,” she said kindly. “Maybe none of them got a clear shot of you.”

“You think?” I knew it was impossible, but if there was hope, my heart wanted to cling to it.

“It's possible. Phones take crappy pictures anyway, and the photogs will crop you out. They don't want Jasper's random girlfriend; they want Jasper.”

I sat up a little straighter. She was making sense. I wasn't sure why she was helping me, but she was making sense.

“But you do realize now that you
have
to break up with him. Right?”

She didn't sound malicious or mean or condescending. Just matter-of-fact.

“After tonight, his life's only gonna get crazier. He's going to have photographers following him around everywhere. If they didn't get a picture of you now, they will eventually.”

“Lia! What's going on in there? Are you guys all right?” Fiona called out from the other side of the door. The doorknob jiggled and Shelby got up.

“One second!” she shouted. Then she turned to look down at me. “This isn't just about me and Jasper anymore. If
you want to stay missing, you can't be photographed. And if you can't be photographed . . .”

I swallowed back tears as the truth of what she was saying crept across my chest and froze my heart.

“. . . then I can't be with Jasper.”

*  *  *

“That was amazing. Jasper was
amazing
!” Fiona gushed from the front seat of Britta's truck.

“Yeah, Lia, how's it feel to be dating a superstar?” Britta asked.

I didn't answer. I couldn't have even if I wanted to. I could feel Shelby's eyes on me from across the bench in the backseat, but I didn't dare give her the satisfaction of returning her gaze. Instead I stared out the window, trying to distract my mind by counting the stars, but it was no use. My heart had been beaten to a bloody pulp, and every time I tried to take a deep breath, I nearly choked.

It didn't matter whether or not Shelby was holding my secret identity over my head. I was going to have to break up with Jasper anyway. I couldn't go anywhere near him if he was going to be hounded by photographers and fans. My mother would find me in a hot minute.

There was no getting out of it. Jasper and I were through.

“Lia? Are you okay?” Fiona asked, turning around in her seat.

“Fine. Just tired,” I muttered.

“How can you be tired? I feel like I'm never gonna sleep again!” Fiona replied. “This is the coolest thing that's happened to one of our friends since . . . well, ever. And you're his girlfriend. You're going to get to go to red-carpet events and concerts and maybe even be in magazines! It's so cool!”

I clenched my jaw. There was no way she could have known how she was gnawing on every last one of my frayed nerves right then. How she was spelling out my worst nightmare.

My phone rang. I looked at the screen. Jasper. Of course it was Jasper. Who else would have been calling me?