Estranged (6 page)

“
Lecia?” Kalei hadn’t seen
her since elementary school, but here she sat, grown up Lecia
Ma’Lory, complete with soft blonde hair, a cheeky smile, and enough
layers of clothing to hide her lean curves and make her look like
someone’s grandmother. Beneath the woman’s brown cardigan, Kalei
saw a thick red shirt and another yellow turtleneck peeking out
above the collar. Add some brown slacks and a pair of mittens, and
here sat a young woman wearing a blind old lady’s wardrobe. Kalei
couldn’t believe how ridiculous the girl looked.

The last time Kalei saw Lecia, they
were in the fifth grade, arguing over whether or not Estranged had
souls. The argument hadn’t been particularly philosophical. In the
end, Kalei punched the girl in the face for disagreeing with her.
As a result, Kalei was transferred to another school – this was her
fifth such offense – and Kalei hadn’t seen Lecia since. She didn’t
regret it either. Lecia had always been ridiculously stubborn in
her opinion that Estranged weren’t all bad. Kalei couldn’t stand
it.

Then Kalei remembered something more
immediate: the hand with the clear fingernails. A wave of panic hit
her, but before Kalei could say anything, a sudden wave of nausea
made her roll over and heave. It was a painful, wrenching process,
especially as there was nothing in her stomach to expel. As the
spasms slowly subsided, Kalei let out an exasperated curse, and
then asked, “What happened? Did I kill—” Kalei almost heaved again.
“My hand, I think I touched...”

Lecia’s smile widened. “No worries.”
Her voice was cheerful as she held up a handgun, shaking it in
midair like she was showing off a new toy. “I stopped you before
you could do any damage.”

“
What? Wait—” Kalei shook
her head as she tried to clear it. The nausea gave way to the more
familiar stabbing in her heart. Kalei wished she could go back to
the nausea. “What are you saying? Did you shoot me?” She glanced
down at her body in search of some sign of blood or damage. Despite
the internal agony that ripped through her, outwardly, she was
fine.

Lecia’s tone was so sweet
it was starting to piss Kalei off. She said, “Yup, I shot you right
between the eyes.” She smiled again and pointed the gun at Kalei’s
forehead, innocently closing one eye as she looked down the sights
at Kalei. She whispered a soft “
Bang”
before pulling the gun back
and setting it down beside her.

Kalei flinched at the blatant
disregard for gun safety. This woman had clearly lost her mind.
Nonetheless, she could feel something warm on her face where Lecia
had pointed. She reached up above the bridge of her nose and her
fingers found something wet and sticky. She pulled her hand away
and saw blood. Her hand quickly shot back to her face, where it
searched for the source— the injury— but there was none. The skin
beneath the blood was completely smooth.

Lecia watched the process with gentle
concern. “If you don’t believe me, you can check the back of your
head. You were a cop. You know what firearms do to a person’s skull
at close range.”

Kalei’s hand moved to the back of her
scalp and she felt... skin. Her hair was gone. This time, there was
no blood, just smooth, fresh skin.

Was Lecia implying – it wasn’t
possible. If it was – the thought was absolutely horrifying.
Although as much as Kalei didn’t want to believe, it made sense.
She recalled the woman she saw in the store, the Estranged that had
closed her eyes, even though she should be dead...

Could Estranged really – could they
regenerate themselves?

Kalei tried to wrap her head around
the idea, but before she could make another mental step, the
pounding in her head turned to a screaming siren and it was all she
could do to squeeze her eyes shut in an attempt to block it out.
She couldn’t think, but her emotions still ripped and roiled
through her. Kalei’s sense of helplessness, confusion, and
frustration grew, but the heightened emotions only fed the—
whatever it was that was consuming her from the inside out. She
hunched over and grabbed at her skull as she tried to find a way
out of this madness. Her breathing became ragged; a harsh whisper
slipped through her lips. “What is happening to me?”

She hadn’t expected an answer, she
hadn’t even meant to say anything, but she heard Lecia’s voice
answer, calm and reassuring. “It’s the darkness.”

Kalei squeezed her eyes tighter; every
muscle along her body was beginning to seize and contract. She
forced herself to respond past the internal hell that was trying to
bury her. Maybe if she could just keep her attention on the
conversation, she could climb her way out. She demanded, “The
what?”

“
The darkness.” Lecia was
kind and eager in her response. “When the Estranged touched
you—”

“
He turned me into an
Estranged. Fuck! I know!” Kalei clenched her teeth as the daggers
sharpened at her rage.

Lecia replied, “I’m sorry. I
understand you know a lot about Estranged. You used to be a police
officer, but—”

“
Used to?”
Fuck!
Kalei bowed even
deeper into her crouch. “I
am
a police officer! I am Kalei Distrad, member of
the 39
^th
Distri— Gah!— CPD!”

Lecia paused for a moment.
Kalei couldn’t see past the dirt-smeared skin of her knees on the
pavement, but she knew Lecia was watching her. Kalei tried to fight
down the pain inside, she tried to make it go away—
anything—
black-nailed hands – No!
There were no Estranged around, and Kalei was not
about to kill Lecia. The thought made her nauseous, and she felt
the pain grow with her desperation. She heard Lecia quietly reply,
“No, Kalei. You are Estranged now. I’m sorry, but whatever you were
before... you have to let it go.”

“
Shut up!” Kalei screamed.
But even as she said it, she knew Lecia was right. Kalei placed
both hands flat on the pavement and watched as they slowly clenched
into fists. Her partner Marley, her coworkers, her neighbors, even
the young lady at the coffee shop she frequented; that entire world
was lost to her now. Just like Fenn, Kas, and Teia.... Flower-Boy
was right. She would never see them again. Any of them, dead or
alive. Kalei always knew the name
Estranged
was a fitting term for
those cast out from society by those black-nailed hands, but now
she
knew.
She
could feel the accuracy of that name down to her core. She was
Estranged now. Her whole life, although it lay just on the other
side of the fence, was gone.

She felt a soft pressure on her
shoulder. “Don’t!” Kalei quickly pulled away and turned on the
woman. “Stay away from me! Do you have a death wish?”

Lecia held up a gloved hand. “It’s
okay. I—”

“
No!” Kalei glared,
holding firm until the woman let her hand fall into her lap. But
Lecia wasn’t entirely resigned. She fixed Kalei with a stubborn
stare, and they remained like that for several moments, each
silently willing the other to back down and face the truth. Of
course, Kalei knew their versions of the truth differed
tremendously. In Kalei’s mind, she was already as good as dead from
the moment her nails went black, and she knew Lecia needed to get
out of Downtown while she was still alive. But Kalei suspected that
Lecia was probably here because she thought she could save
everyone. That was Lecia, off to save the misunderstood with her
cheery smiles. But the woman’s efforts were pointless. Nothing
could make Kalei’s black nails go away. Not even a happy little
chat polished off with a nice pat on the shoulder.

Lecia relaxed and broke the silence.
“We never could get along, could we?”

Kalei leaned back and rubbed an aching
muscle in her hand, the newest addition to her collection of
negative sensations. “Of course not. You always wanted to save all
the Estranged.”

“
And you wanted to kill
them.”

Kalei turned away and studied the
morning fog, which still clung to some of the distant buildings. Of
course she wanted to kill Estranged. Who would want to let them
live? They took Downtown away from the city of Celan, they took
away daughters and brothers and mothers...They stole everything
that was good in this world, leaving behind the darkened corpses to
remind everyone of just how dark their world had become. “They
don’t deserve to live.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Kalei
saw Lecia raise an eyebrow. “So you don’t deserve to
live?”

Kalei clenched her teeth. “No. I
don’t.”

Kalei turned back and saw Lecia drop
her gaze to her hands as she said, “I’m sorry...” After a moment,
Lecia looked up at Kalei, but this time, there was hope in her
eyes. “But you don’t have to feel that way— I can help!”

“
And what the hell makes
you think you can help me?” Kalei growled.

Lecia sat up a bit straighter, a goofy
grin growing on her face. “I’m an unofficial Estranged
counselor.”

Kalei scoffed. Why did this not
surprise her? “Unofficial? That means no one’s stupid enough to pay
you, right?”

Lecia lost her smile and picked up a
note of defiance as she said, “Well, there isn’t any institutional
recognition yet, but that’s going to change when I publish my
book.”

Kalei couldn’t take this naïve little
woman seriously. “Ha! A book?” The words came out easily, but Kalei
quickly shut down as a fresh wave of pain rushed back into her
skull.

Lecia drove on. “Yes, a book. Is that
so hard to believe? I want people like you to understand that there
are more to Estranged than just highs and death.”

Kalei didn’t hear her. Her
own breath became labored again. She could feel the sharp bite of a
craving creeping in. It started in her heart and seemed to work its
way into her arms, causing her muscles to twitch and clench at the
impulse to just grab one hand....
Gah!
Kalei fought it. She reminded
herself that Lecia had almost died by her. Of course, the girl had
it coming, considering she was wandering Downtown alone, but
nonetheless, Kalei refused to let herself be the one responsible
for the inevitable. As much as she couldn’t stand Lecia, she had to
admit that nobody deserved what she was going through, not even
this stupid little woman. So Kalei fought the aching need, and the
need retaliated by sending sharp muscle spasms through her body.
Kalei tried to pull herself back to the conversation, hoping to
distract herself again. “I don’t care what you’re spouting; you
need to get out of here. You need to leave Downtown before you get
yourself killed. Do you really think all your counseling and your
books are really going to help anything? Because they aren’t.”
Kalei let out a groan and pulled her arms close as she fought off
another spasm.

Lecia looked to be conflicted between
concern and frustration. “Look— will you just listen to me! I can
help you, I promise.”

Kalei raised her eyes to meet Lecia’s
and growled, “The only thing I need from you is another bullet to
my head.”

Lecia quietly asked, “You want to
die?”

Kalei didn’t even have to think about
it. “Yes.”

Lecia scooted another inch closer, but
Kalei pulled away. She said, “You already know that can’t happen.
“

Kalei let out another groan. “Since
when are Estranged immortal?”

“
They always have been.”
Lecia shrugged as she continued, “People just don’t want to believe
it. They see an Estranged die on the street and they don’t want to
see him or her get back up. So they let themselves believe that
they won’t. Of course, SWORDE does a good job of —”

“
I don’t care!”

Lecia paused. She looked into Kalei’s
eyes this time. “I think you do.”

Kalei buried her head in her arms. “I
don’t. I don’t care, I just need you to go away.”

Silence fell. The spasms had subsided,
but now the muscles along Kalei’s arms slowly began to clench
harder and harder until she felt like the flesh would burst from
her skin. And still it continued. No matter what she did, she
couldn’t fight it. The sharp pains, the spasms, the aches; it all
kept coming back at her in one form or another. “What’s doing this
to me?” she asked weakly.

“
The darkness.”

“
The darkness? You’re
saying that bullshit they spout on the news is—” Kalei paused to
curse as a particularly vicious stab of pain wrenched at her hip.
“You’re saying sad emotions are ripping me to shreds right
now?”

“
Well, they aren’t really
emotions anymore. I mean— yes, you still have emotions, and yes,
the darkness is driven by sadder ones, but the darkness is... kind
of a living thing now.”

“
What? You mean I have
something living inside me?”

“
Well— it’s not really
a
thing
. It’s
still you, it’s—” Lecia let out an exasperated sigh. “This is so
hard to explain.”

Kalei pushed her fist into the knot in
her hip. “With you telling it, it’s hard to understand.”

Lecia paused for a moment to collect
her thoughts, and then said, “The exact ‘what’ doesn’t really
matter. All you really need to know is that the darkness is inside
you now, and that is what’s causing the pain. It is also the thing
that causes the highs and all of that.”