Eternally 21: A Mrs. Frugalicious Shopping Mystery (3 page)

Four

A few keystrokes and
We Want to Hear from You
scrolled across the display of my smartphone. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it myself. Not only could I express my displeasure anonymously, or nearly so, I could also commend Tara Hu on what could only be called exemplary customer relations.

To Whom it may Concern:

I was in your South Highlands Valley Mall store this morning. Since I was looking for multiple gifts and had coupons to factor in, I was removing items from the display, comparing them to each other, and consulting notes on a pad in my purse. While doing so, your manager, Laila DeSimone, falsely accused me of dropping earrings into my handbag. She called security and had me unceremoniously removed from the store. She also felt free to insult me in the process. I was, of course, cleared, but not until I suffered the further humiliation of being dragged across the mall. I’m sure I’d never set foot in an Eternally 21 again were it not for the assistant manager, Tara Hu. She couldn’t have been nicer or more helpful before the incident and was more so afterward. She not only apologized but tried to explain Ms. DeSimone’s mistreatment. She urged me to come back in to pick up the items I left behind. I thought you should know about Ms. DeSimone’s method of dealing with customers, especially in contrast with Ms. Hu, who saved me as a future customer with her caring concern.

Thank you for the opportunity to express both
my displeasure and praise,
A Once-Again Satisfied Customer

Using my most anonymous
mikefamily
email address, I sent the note off into cyberspace. I would have gone home and called it a day, but Karen B. was depending on Mrs. Frugalicious to come through with what could still be a killer blog post. With Laila on her break and my grievances expressed to my satisfaction, really there was no good reason to let my reader down and not go back to the store and buy the items Tara had set aside.

After all, I’d done nothing wrong.

As if in confirmation, my phone beeped with a
thank you for your comments
email, complete with a code for a non-expiring 15% off any online future purchases.
4

With a few minutes to spare until Laila’s twelve thirty visit to the ladies’ lounge, I stopped into The Gap. I carefully noted the sale prices, selection, and size options on my notepad (but not until I was safely outside the store). Then I made my way into Macy’s. To make sure Laila had ample time to head off in the opposite direction, I lingered over a table of buy-two-get-one-free sequined tank tops. At 12:37, I walked out into the mall proper, passed Foot Locker, hesitated in front of Things Remembered
to take a calming breath, and approached Eternally 21.

I was greeted by an upbeat top-forty number, the word
sale
emblazoned all over the store, and a notable lack of Laila DeSimone.

A worse-for-wear Barbie type wearing a Whimsies nametag brushed past me as I stepped inside.

Hailey, the salesgirl in zebra print, met me practically at the door. “Tara told me you might be stopping by.”

“So nice of her,” I said, noting my pile of jewelry and assorted accessories as she ushered me toward the register area. An equally familiar beverage cup and open pizza box sat beside them.

“It’s a good thing Laila has us get lunch for her.” Hailey ducked behind the counter. “I’ll ring you right up and get you on your way.”

“Tara’s not here?”

“She’s in the back office.” She offered me a chocolate from the box of mostly wrappers beside the register. “Chocolate? There are only two left.”

I eyed the rectangular one that was surely a caramel. “Thanks, but no.”

“Take it for later,” she said. “In fact, take both.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“They’ll just go to waste. I’m allergic, Tara doesn’t want any, and Laila’s already eaten her fill for today.”

“In that case, I’m sure my guys will love them.” I grabbed the two remaining candies, wrapped the protective paper around the top, and tucked them carefully in my purse. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Hailey smiled and picked up a bracelet from the top of my pile. “It must be so totally awesome to have a husband that’s on TV and stuff.”

“It is,” I said and quickly changed the subject. “So I assume the mall security officer was already here?”

“He still is,” Hailey said.

“With Tara in the back?”

The door to the backroom squeaked open.

All the blood in my body seemed to rush to my head as Laila DeSimone appeared.

“And Laila,” Hailey whispered. “I’m afraid she never left.”

There was no stepping backward, no turning and fleeing or otherwise vanishing during the awkward eternity of super-slow motion seconds that passed. Before I could coerce my voice or legs into action, Laila’s mouth morphed into what might have been considered a nervous smile. “Griff told me you don’t like to play the
don’t you know who I am
card.”

Griff could kiss his tickets to a
Frank Finance
taping goodbye.

“I really respect that,” Laila said in a far slower drawl than her clipped speech of earlier that day. “I can’t tell you how glad I am you came back in.”

“I wouldn’t have, but for Tara. She—”

“Ran into you at the food court.” Laila giggled, but her awkward attempt at situational humor fell flat, at least where I was concerned.

“So to speak.”

Laila wiped a bead of sweat from her brow as she glanced at my assortment of clothing and accessories. “I saved all your stuff, hoping you would come back and get it all.”

“Tara mentioned that,” I said, unwilling to let Laila grab whatever credit she intended to take for poor, put upon Tara’s foresight. “She really went above and beyond.”

“She’s the best,” Laila mumbled. She lifted her drink, took a big sip, handed the cup and pizza box to Hailey, and motioned her toward the back office with her head. “Can you tell her to sign whatever paperwork is left and to sit tight for a few minutes?”

“Will do,” Hailey said.

“So sorry things happened the way they did,” Laila said in that slow, odd drawl. As Hailey disappeared into the back, she lowered her voice. “The girls thought you were this woman who’s a known shoplifter around here, and I—”

“Didn’t think to give me the benefit of the doubt?”

“You look alike, and from what I hear you haven’t been around the mall as much lately, so I didn’t know … ” Laila rubbed her left arm for a moment longer than seemed necessary. “I really feel just awful about the whole situation.”

The part of me that wanted to say,
I’m sure you do, particularly after finding out you behaved so badly in front of the wife of a local media figure,
turn and head out the door, never to return, was stopped by the sight of Tara peeking through the open doorway just out of Laila’s view.

“She really does feel awful,” Tara said quietly.

“Mortified, really.” Perspiration now dotted Laila’s forehead. “I hope you’ll accept my apologies by allowing me to honor all the discounts you have and give you an additional ten percent off on the entire purchase.”

Tara gave a thumbs-up and disappeared as quickly as she’d appeared.

I didn’t expect to have an encounter with Laila again. I definitely wouldn’t have expected her to be so contrite, even knowing I wasn’t exactly a garden-variety shopper. That she offered to accept all my coupons plus 10%, however, could only be called a suitable apology. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do.” She took my pile of merchandise to the workspace beside her, picked up a cuff bracelet, and began to ring. “I guess I didn’t expect the wife of Frank Finance to be fumbling for coupons.”

That made two of us.

“I happened to have them, so I figured I might as well use them.”

“Your husband’s really handsome,” she said with a slurry giggle. “It must be cool being married to a celebrity.”

From the moment Frank smiled at me on my first day as a summer intern at the TV station, I’d been dazzled. And dazzled I’d remained, not only by his presence both on and off camera, but by the access and admiration that came from being his date, girlfriend, and then wife. Any downside to being public persona adjacent was far outweighed by the benefits. Until recently, anyway.

“It has its moments.”

She covered her mouth and stifled what seemed to be a belch. “This probably isn’t one of them.”

I managed a tight smile. “All’s well that ends well.”

“My friend Shoshanna from Whimsies almost got fired for not recognizing the
Shoplifter, so even with all the surveillance cameras we have around here”—she rubbed her temples—“we have to be extra diligent.”

“Are you okay?”

“Stress.” She looked down. “I swear it’s making me dizzy.”

You don’t say?
I didn’t say as she finally looked back up and picked up the beaded hoop earrings I’d selected for Eloise.

“They’ll look just great on you with the gold highlights in your hair.”

Laila seemed truly distraught, or at least very intent on making amends, so I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were for my demographically appropriate stepdaughter. Instead, I focused on the multiple deductions appearing on the register as she rang up my pile of braided belts, floral hairclips, multi-strand necklaces, patterned tights, lace back tunics …

“Your grand total with tax and all discounts,” Laila smiled, “is $91.69.”

I reached into my purse for the crisp hundred I’d earmarked for my back to school holiday shopping. “That’s just wonderful.”

“You can get another ten percent off if you sign up for the Eternal Card.
5
”

Since Griff had outed my not-so-secret identity, there was no reason not to make the best of the situation and save another eight or so dollars. “What do you need?”

Laila blinked a few times like she had something in her eyes. “Just your driver’s license.”

“Laila,” Tara’s voice came over the phone intercom as I thumbed my ID from the protective plastic slot in my wallet and handed it over. “There’s a call for you.”

“Take a message.” Laila smiled, hopefully not already in the midst of calculating the disparity between my birth date and claimed age of under forty.

“It’s Richard.”

“Tell him … tell him I’ll call him back.”

“He says it’s urgent.”

Laila’s smile faded. “I’m afraid I have to take this.” She turned for the back office. “I’ll only be a second. Please don’t go anywhere.”

I couldn’t, even if I’d wanted to, since she disappeared holding my driver’s license.

Luckily, Tara reappeared instantly, picked up my purchases and began to bag them. “Oh my God! I’m freaking out!”

“I know the feeling,” I said.

“You must have had a heart attack when you saw Laila!”

“Just about,” I said, my eyes on Griff, who loomed large and red-faced behind her.

“He showed up at twelve twenty-nine,” Tara said. “Just before Laila was supposed to leave.”

Griff looked down at the floor. “I had no idea you’d be coming back up here or that Laila was supposed to—”

“Hailey was supposed to ring you up and get you out of here before Laila saw, but she spotted you on the security camera. I tried to come up front, but she insisted and left us in the back with all her half-eaten food and wrappers.” Tara paused to take a breath. “She really does feel bad about what happened, though.”

“She was definitely apologetic and friendly.” I once again looked pointedly at Griff. “I’m pretty sure I know exactly why.”

“I told you I wouldn’t tell her,” he said. “And I didn’t.”

“How did she know who I was, then?”

“By the time I came back up here, she’d already talked to some friend of hers and figured it out.”

“How dumb could we be?” Tara asked. “I mean, you are prettier, classier, and not a total string bean like that woman supposedly is.”

Griff and his long-lashed, innocent-looking hazel eyes met my gaze.

“Say what?” Laila boomed from the back.

Despite the music, the strain in her voice hung in the air.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Tara said.

“—won’t take that lying down—”

“Oh Lord, sure doesn’t,” Griff said.

“
Lord
is right,” Tara said. “Richard’s the regional manager.”

“She’s talking to the regional manager?” Could my complaint have already made its way through the channels and onto his desk? My stomach flip-flopped. There hadn’t even been time to think up, much less send an
it’s all okay now
addendum. Maybe I could offer to speak to the regional manager myself about the amends she’d made?

“They’re also going out,” Tara said.

“No!” Laila shouted.

“Or
were
,” Tara said. “From the way things have been going today.”

Griff looked toward the back. “I thought I heard something about her and Dan?

“Dan’s with Nina Marino.”

He shook his head. “It’s hard to keep who’s with who straight.”

Their chatter couldn’t drown out the sound of blood thumping in my ears or Laila’s long, low wail.

“Uh-oh,” Tara said over the slam of a phone.

The door squealed all the way open and Laila reappeared.

Looking both ashen and dazed, she neither looked at me nor made a show of ignoring me. Her eyes were red-rimmed and dull. We watched in stunned silence as she said nothing but took a long, slow slurp of the last of her soda, swallowed with what seemed like difficulty, and wobbled over to the register.

“Are you okay? Tara asked.

“Okay?” Laila repeated with an odd slowness. She set down her drink with a shaky hand, did nothing as it toppled sideways onto the counter, and clutched her head. “Hurts so bad.”