Eternally Seduced (90 page)

The secretary of InterKonek’s Vice President of Finance kept sneaking looks at me. She had been doing so during the past three hours that I had been waiting for her boss. I had a feeling she wanted me to throw a fit. I would if I cared, but right now I had bigger problems.

Like, Dutch problems.

Like, marriage.

Like, why couldn’t I make myself choose a date for our wedding?

I chewed on my nails. A billionaire’s fiancée was not supposed to do that, but right now I didn’t care about that either. Why? Why, why, why?

The elevator chimed, making me turn towards it as the doors slid open.

Both the secretary and I got to our feet. “Good morning, Ms. Gallagher.”

 “Good morning, Ms. Gallagher,” I echoed a second too late. I had trouble keeping my lips from trembling. I suddenly remembered the first time George and I had met the woman before me. She was in her late twenties, a redhead lipstick monster who had hated my guts from day one. Sadly, she wasn’t the only one.

I had been prepared to play dumb to how
snide
she was when I was around, but George unfortunately hadn’t thought to do the same thing. He had told Constantijin immediately, and my Dutch billionaire, who was overprotective to a fault, had immediately called up the CEO of Interkonek, who had called his VP, who had called Ms. Gallagher’s superior, the president of her department, and who had of course called
her.
Just to, you know, tell her in verbatim – which Constantijin had requested – that she was not to act like a “bitchy hag” to me again.

Well, in all fairness, today she was no bitchy hag. She was, more like, Professor Snape and Lizzy Borden combined, with an axe to grind.

“I trust you didn’t wait too long?”

“Not at all, Ms. Gallagher.”

Sniffing, she walked past me and I started to follow her only to have the door slam shut on my face.

I blinked.

“You are
not
to go inside Ms. Gallagher’s office unless you are invited.” The secretary sniffed.

I was…just going to think that everyone here had allergies.

Going back to my seat, I kept my back straight and waited.

Two hours later, it was already noon and my stomach was grumbling. “Do you think I could take my lunch break first?”

The secretary gave me the evil eye.

I was...just going to think that besides being sorely allergic to stuff, she also had an eye disorder.

An hour later, my stomach couldn’t take the torture anymore. You could keep me away from my favorite
manga
and Asian TV shows, but you couldn’t keep a girl from her food. It was my God-given right to eat, dammit.

I came to my feet. “Since Ms. Gallagher seems busy, I think I’m just going to---”

The secretary’s phone rang and she answered it. After a few moments, she looked at me and announced with a sniff, “You may go in now.”

My stomach begged me to reconsider, but I decided valiantly that I was going to put Constantijin’s company before my hunger. Because I loved him. Even if I didn’t want to marry him. The thought had me wincing, which unfortunately the secretary saw and before I knew it, she was calling Ms. Gallagher again on the phone.

“She winced, Ms. Gallagher!” She said it like I had just cursed her boss.

“What---I didn’t---”

Ms. Gallagher burst out of her office. “So you’re going to cry? You’re going to run to your lover and tell him I made you cry?”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but---”

Her laughter cut me off. “Oh, that’s rich.
A misunderstanding.
Is that what you call fucking your way to a managerial position now? A misunderstanding?” She practically shouted each word, loudly enough to have other people whose offices were in the same floor come out and look at us curiously.

“Well? Are you going to have me fired just because you’re his fuck buddy?” Her eyes were hard as they contemptuously scanned me from head to toe. “I don’t even know what he sees in you.”

“You don’t have to know what he sees in me, Ms. Gallagher.” My voice shook in my effort to keep myself from crying. I hated this. God, I so, so, so hated confrontations like this. It reminded me too much of the last time Constantijin and I had a fight. That day still gave me nightmares.

But
today
was going to be different, I told myself fiercely.

That time, we didn’t know we loved each other.

This time---

I lifted my chin. “Since you seem so fixated with us, then maybe you should know how he sees you.” I took a step towards her, and I secretly jumped for joy when my newly found girl-power-confidence had her stepping back. “I know that Constantijin sees you for the pathetic woman that you are, and if you hadn’t been a woman, he would have fired you a long time ago. But he has his limits, and they all have to do with
me
.”

I pointed at her.

She trembled.

Oh, wow. It seemed like I had inherited Charli’s finger-pointing powers. She used to be our boss, and we trembled whenever she pointed at us. Now I could make people shake in their shoes, too.

For good measure, I pointed at Ms. Gallagher again and she trembled once more.

Ha!

I told her in my most ominous voice, “I’ll let this go, Ms. Gallagher. But only this once. It’s your last warning. So. Don’t. Freaking. Push. It.”

I turned my back and stalked away.

It was a great exit.

Or at least it would have been a great one if only upon spinning around I didn’t almost bump into Constantijin.

He stood in the center of a circle made by his executives, and beside him was the CEO of Interkonek, who was also surrounded by his own group of executives.

Oh. Shit.

I bobbed my head down in respect before excusing myself and practically running into the elevator. The doors took its time sliding close, slowly enough for Constantijin’s head to turn around and catch me staring at him with tear-stained eyes.

His eyes said it all.
How can you speak about our love so confidently and yet not want to marry me?

I don’t know. I don’t know, dammit.

“And you left him? Just like that, you left him?” Daria was so incredulous – I preferred to think that rather than angry – her generous breasts shook with each word. She was, once more, in a bikini, lounging on the sunbed of her Greek billionaire’s yacht. They went sailing as often as they could, with her husband relying on the power of the Internet to manage his business empire.

On the other half of my iPad’s screen, Alyx was shaking her head in apparent disgust. She was in her bedroom and already in her PJs. She gave the word ‘bum’ new meaning these days. Most couch potatoes looked like yellow-skinned aliens after a few months, but Alyx only seemed to grow more and more beautiful each day.

Alyx demanded, “What’s your problem, really? I mean, I’m as confused as he is and I don’t get easily confused.” It was true. She was
that
smart.

Daria nodded emphatically. “I’m confused, too. You love him. He loves you so---”

Alyx raised a brow. “Why don’t you want to marry him?”

“Because I’m
scared.
”

They gaped at me.

I threw my hands up and began pacing restlessly. Thank God I was alone in the restroom or I’d go crazy. I needed to pace to keep my head straight. “You don’t understand how scared I am of the same thing happening again. I love him, but that’s
never
been the problem. I wasn’t the one who had other lovers, wasn’t the one who broke his heart---”

“But that’s the PAST!”

I winced at Daria’s words. “I
know
that,” I said miserably. “But I can’t help it. Every time I think about marrying him, I feel like I’m going to come down with a flu. I can’t breathe at the thought. I’m so scared that if we marry and that happens again, where’s that going to leave me?”

Alyx said gently, “You know I’m not crazy about men in general, but Yanna, you
have
to let it go. You’re being unfair to him. You know that, right?”

I gave her a small, pitiful nod.

Daria gave me a commiserating look, but her voice was firm when she spoke. “You need to figure this out really soon, okay? Coz he was right as well – you can’t make him wait forever. And that’s what you’d end up doing if you don’t make a decision soon.”

We talked a little bit more before saying goodbye, with Daria being called away by her husband. With a sigh, I put my iPad back inside my bag and opened the door of the restroom---

Constantijin stood in front of me, his face grim.

Coward that I was, I didn’t let him speak, asking him instead, “How did you find me?”

He showed me his phone, the screen revealing my Instagram account.

Oh, dammit. I forgot that that I had my location settings on and so my earlier photo of my green tea latte (Status: Green is the color of the day) would let anyone who cared to know where I was.

I started to speak again, but Constantijin shook his head tiredly.

My heart
screamed.

It couldn’t bear the fact that I tired him.

“Yanna.”

“Constantijin---” The look on his face had me biting my lip.

My heart was still screaming.

“Even after all this time,
schat
– you still don’t trust me?” His face was white. “Do you really even love me?”

Tonight’s meal was, like, the most horrible dinner ever.

I didn’t mean it in the physical sense, though. We were in my parents’ dining room, which had been recently decorated in pale grays and dark blues. Music played softly in the background – American classical music because lately Carole had taken a loathing to anything European.

The food was delicious. Pumpkin soup and Thai salad for appetizers, tenderloin steak served with buttered vegetables and my favorite homemade mac n cheese for the main course, and Japanese cheesecake for dessert.

The company was great. At least from where I was standing. Walter and Carole looked distinguished as ever, dressed in smart casual attire. Constantijin was, well, Constantijin. He always looked gorgeous, no matter what he wore. I had dressed with care, too, choosing my version of the little black dress, only it wasn’t in black but in hot pink instead.

I was hoping I would look so much like a walking strawberry Popsicle that my parents wouldn’t realize Constantijin and I weren’t…talking.

We hadn’t been talking since last night.

After patting her mouth with the napkin, Carol looked at Constantijin and asked, “How was your weekend?”

I sighed in relief. That was a very safe question.

“I was in the Netherlands. I had a meeting with my management team there.”

Okay, so far so good.

Carole nodded.

Yes, yes, yes. This was good. This was peaceful. This was---

“So you left my daughter alone at home then? Don’t you think you should have told us so we could have Drake guard her while you’re away?”

---a freaking disaster!

“Mom!”

But Constantijin didn’t lose his temper. His acerbic wit tended to show when my mom started baiting him, but this time all Constantijin did was incline his head. “Perhaps I should have. For that, I apologize.”

I wanted to cover my ears.

My heart was screaming too loudly now.

Walter interceded smoothly, “You visited your parents then? We look forward to seeing them again.”

Constantijin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “They feel the same way.”

Silence fell.

An awkward one, the kind that had me secretly flinching because it just made my heart scream even more. Constantijin’s phone rang, and everyone except Carole seemed relieved at the sound of it.

Walter, Constantijin, and I got to our feet.

“We should head to the drawing room for a drink,” Walter said.

“I must take this call,” Constantijin apologized at the same time.

“I think I need to freshen up,” I piped in with all of them.

Carole didn’t say a word, making the three of us look at her.

She rose like a queen, and in this household she was that. She said dryly, “It appears everyone is tired of my company.”

We protested at the same time, all three of us again, but she held her hand up and we fell quiet.

“I shall accompany Yanna as I need to freshen up also.” She gave the two gentlemen a regal nod before looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

I hurried to her side.

We parted ways then, Walter and Constantijin going their own way while Carole and I headed to the restroom down the hall. On the way there, Carole held my arm. When I looked at her, a ready smile on my face, she said gently, “Tell me what’s wrong so I may help you.”

My smile cracked.

I whispered painfully, “I’m the one who’s wrong, Mom.”

And because only big girls didn’t cry, I burst into tears.

****

“No wonder the poor boy looks like someone killed his dog,” Carole said ten minutes later as she brushed my hair while I sat with a straight back on the Venetian-styled stool in the powder room. My parents had a love for old-fashioned things, so we also had a drawing room aside from a living room. If Carole had her way, we would also have a carriage even if we didn’t have a horse.

“You make it sound like I’m doing the wrong thing,” I protested. “And I’m not. I mean, you see it, don’t you? I’m not leading him on. It’s my right to not rush things. He can’t pressure me---”

“
Yanna
.”

I stopped with the excuses.

“If you’re asking me these questions, that means something too, don’t you think?”

I pressed a hand to my heart. It wasn’t screaming now. It was…
numb.
It was tired with all the pain that I had caused Constantijin.

As Carole ran the brush through my hair, she continued, “You never asked for my approval when you chose to date him, to love him, to---” She sighed. “You never asked for my approval when you chose to live under one roof with him and all of those things, Yanna, you knew in your heart that I would have forbidden you to do if you had asked me. But you went ahead with it anyway.”

Desperately, I said, “And I’m not going ahead of this because I’m worried.”

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t lie to me or to yourself. You’re asking me to say you’re right about making him wait. If you’re sure that it’s the right thing, you wouldn’t have asked me.”

I felt like I was thirteen again and my mom was rightfully not letting me go to Bella Carlton’s birthday. She was the most popular girl in school, but everyone also knew she had been smoking marijuana since she was eleven. It hurt to accept that she was right then, and it hurt even now.

“I hate it when you’re right,” I mumbled.

She laughed. “You always hate it when you’re
not
right.”

“Are you my mom or am I adopted?”

Carole placed the brush down and gave me a hug. “You will always be my baby.”

I sniffed in her arms. “I’m just…terrified. What can I do to stop myself from being so terrified about losing him again?”

She said simply, “Marry him.”

I paled.

Someone knocked on the door before it opened to reveal Constantijin. “Walter’s looking for you.” He still looked strained, but he had succeeded in making his voice even. He was
the
most beautiful man in my eyes and would always be. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore. And if it meant hurting myself – or risk hurting myself, then…

I blurted out, “Marry me.”

He said right away, “Even if you look like you’re about to keel over and die, I’m not going to let you off the hook,
schat.
”

If I died now, I’d die happy. The light was back in his silvery eyes, and the smile that curved on his lips was so beautiful it made me start to cry.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” Constantijin said. “And I’ll marry you now.”