Eternally Yours (11 page)

“What happened?” I tap my fingers on a couple scars to let him know what I'm asking about.

“It was hard trying to hide my wings around the other
demon
s. They were always good to me, but they could never know about my wings. I am terrified of fire now, I can’t even think about being burned to death if they found out
I am a half-breed. But i
t became harder and harder to hide what I truly am. The pain became unbearable after a while of not releasing my wings, and it became impossible to mask my discomfort. I always had to sneak away somewhere that I wouldn't be seen so that I could fly. Lilith started to get skeptical of where I went and what I was doing. She didn't trust me. By this time, she knew I wasn’t really her sister and she was infatuated with me. She followed me everywhere and it just got to the point where I knew I'd be better off without my freak-show wings, so I tried to cut them off.”

“You what?” I don’t even dare to breathe.

“It was a stupid thing to do. It hurt so bad I was trembling for weeks. I was so weak and feverish I couldn't even stand. After drawing attention to myself for being sick for no reason, my wings reformed anyways, and I was still in the same situation.”

I reach for his hand; it's so warm in mine, in this damp, dark cave. It tears me in two to feel how much he hates himself, how much he thinks he's a monster. How he has always wanted to be accepted.

“I'm so sorry about your parents.” I give his hand a gentle squeeze. “And that you've had such a hard life. But I see the true you. Just like I know your mother did and obviously your father did too. Maybe you should stop trying to be accepted by kinds who will never love and accept you for who you really are, and start focusing on those that will.” Me.

He stays still but his eyes find mine and I marvel at how exquisite they are. They look entirely black right now, and other times they are brown with little black specs shimmering in them; like sun glistening on oil. Of course, other times they are amber or fiery red and I’m even helplessly drawn to them when they’re like that too.

“Everything is different now that you’re in my life. I feel like I can finally be me, and maybe even be loved for what I really am…one day,” a voice whispers in my mind.

I tilt my head, questioning my lucidity, wondering where this voice keeps coming from that I hear inside my head. At my questioning expression he asks, “What is it?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head to dismiss him. I'm crazy.

“Be honest with me, what is it?” He raises my chin and smiles sweetly.

“I just... I keep hearing this voice in my head. I think I’m losing my mind.” I leave out the part that it sounds like him.

His jaw goes slack in shock. “You...you can hear me?”

“Uh... yeah.” What is he talking about? Of course, I can hear him.

“No, I mean you can mind-link me, hear thoughts I project!”

“So it really is you talking! I knew it sounded like you. I thought you were going to throw the towel in and call me crazy.”

“No, never. This is impossible, and amazing. You are mind-linking me, but I haven't heard anything from you. This usually only happens when we are bonded to our mate.”

“Yeah, it happens with
angel
s sometimes too, after the consummation, but not in every case. It's actually sort of rare.” I ponder this.

“I guess I better watch the direction of all my thoughts, huh?” he lifts an eyebrow.

I look away before he sees the guilt that must be showing in my eyes for already hearing some thoughts he wouldn't want me hearing. “I guess so. What does
Bayla
mean?”

He scoffs. “Why?”

“You said it earlier.” My pale skin turns pink.

“I didn’t think you were paying attention.” He scratches his cheek. “It means 'beautiful'.” His face turns red and he avoids my gaze.

Silence.

Awkwardness.

“I have never heard of someone mind-linking before the bond is formed.” He changes the subject. “It's probably even more different between an
angel
and a
demon
. I wish I knew more about my parents' bond.” He rakes his hand through his hair again. “I think we should really head back now, or they might notice our absence.”

“Yeah, I think I can do it now, with your help. By all means,” I say sarcastically, “let’s not miss the arrangement ceremony.”

We look at each other and shake our heads in defeat. I let my shoulders and wings slump to show how much I don't want to go back and be arranged to marry a total stranger; one who is probably the total opposite of Shadow. Just thinking about him with someone like Lilith makes my stomach flip and flop.

He angles his head to the side a little. “You’re wings are touching the dirty floor.” He gently runs his hand down the top arch of my right wing and I shiver. “Turn around,” he insists. I turn around and he dusts my wings off. “They got really dirty with the crash landing I guess. There, all better.” I turn back around and smile, trying to ignore my puckered skin everywhere.

He puts the wooden bowl and the lantern back against the wall, picks up my bag and hands it to me. “You might want to put your clothes on over your flying gear so no one thinks you went flying.”

He has a good point so I pull my shorts out and shimmy into them. Just as I pull my shirt out I wonder how I’m going to get my wings to go back in.

“Just think about putting them away. Picture it in your head, and feel it inside your body.” Of course he can read my mind and answer my unspoken questions even though the link is only one sided. Maybe that’s only fair.

It takes me a few minutes but I shut my eyes and imagine, and my wings vibrate and arch back into my body. It’s so amazing. I walk over to the waterfall where he is. I stand next to him and stay silent. He seems to be lost in thought looking through the waterfall to somewhere that I cannot see.

“I don't know when we'll get the chance to be alone again, but I just want you to know that I had an amazing time with you, Alexia. If things were different...” he sighs. “Just know that think you're a beautiful person inside and out, and whatever happens, I'll always be grateful for your support and understanding of me.”

“I feel the same about you, and I really hope that I end up with someone like you.” I’m not one to be so blunt, but I know if I don’t tell him now, then he will never know how I already feel about him.

We stand there facing each other. There is more left to be said hanging in the air between us but neither speaks anything out loud. He pulls me closer, wraps his arms around me, and gives me the most passionate kiss possible. All my thoughts blur and my pulse flutters erratically. I feel off balance and I realize that my feet leave the ground. I break away from him and see those amazing black wings unfurled, flapping slowly and expertly, keeping us a few feet from the ground.

“She is so beautiful. Now that I’ve had a taste of her how can I even go without her?” (mental growl) “What am I doing?”

I don’t mention that I am hearing his most private thoughts, but they light me up inside and I want to smile like a big dummy. He kisses my forehead and with one giant flap of his wings, he propels us through the water and out of the cave. We are on our way to find out who we will be spending the rest of our lives with, making babies with, and having a family with, but always, always wondering, how it could have been.

I see the walls coming into view, with the Grand Mecca in the center, surrounded by another circle of walls. I hope no one can see him flying me because I don’t know if we would get burned to death for being so close or not, but I at least know we would get imprisoned just for flying outside the walls.

“Are there no guards on the walls?” I ask loudly to be heard over the wind whistling in his ears. I was wondering that when we left because we just flew over them without even looking back and now I'm thinking how stupid that was.

“Well
angel
s are the only kind that can fly. Being that you are a very honest and trustworthy kind, they only focus on guarding the giant gates at the entrance. We wouldn't slip by those so easily.”

“Oh,” I say. “Sometimes I think that I'm the only
angel
that's ever done anything bad against the rules.”

“Just because it's against the rules doesn't mean it's bad, Alexia. At least we think for ourselves instead of taking everything someone tells us at face value.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right. It would just be so much easier if I just accepted how things are like everyone else does. Not always doubting everything they say and wondering what it's really like outside the walls.”

“I used to think the same thing, but if you're anything like me, you will never be happy if you know you're lying to yourself, or that someone else is.”

We are coming up to the part of the wall where we met and I am glad he is carrying me, because I can’t land. I could crash but I doubt he wants me to do that again.

“How do you land?”

“Just picture a parachute and think about slowing down. Try to make your wings catch the air, maybe thrust against the wind. It comes naturally after a few tries.”

He slows to a glide and so gracefully parachutes his wings and we slowly descend until his feet land on the ground right inside the wall. He glances around and with a satisfied expression he sets me down gently on my feet.

“I left my shirt in the bush,” he says, walking toward it. “My watch says it’s eight twenty. The ceremony starts in ten minutes.”

“Crap! I forgot about the ceremony.”

Right before he enters the bush, he shimmies his wings and they fold rearward and withdraw into his back. It took him like a second to do that and I had to concentrate for about six minutes, breaking a sweat.

“You’ll get faster at it.” He says without looking back at me. “It helps me to arc backward and pull my shoulders back.”

He offers me his hand and guides me through the limbs and over the roots. “You should have seen my first time. It was not so graceful,” he laughs. “I thought my dad was going to have to fold them up and shove them in there.” We both duck under a branch and he lets my hand drop as he picks up his shirt.

He puts his black t-shirt on in one smooth move. “Alright, well I'm going to head on back. You know the way, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I say.

He nods, “We already said goodbye so I guess I'll just say, 'see you later'.” He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

“Alright then, see you later,” I reply.

A few minutes later, I’m still standing here, remembering his back as he walked away from me.

*~*~*~*

I find my seat next to Gabriel and Kaia leans forward, “Me and you,” she points back and forth between us, “are having a long talk later.”

I roll my eyes and she narrows hers to glare at me, and then finally sits back in her seat. Gabriel is busy flirting with another red-headed
angel
behind us. Kaia crosses her arms. I know her well enough to know that she's agitated because of Gabriel. I wonder how long he's been ignoring her and flirting with that other girl.

“Oh, I was wondering if you were going to show.” He turns around now that he notices I'm here.

“I got lost; I'm not good with directions.” He'll believe this because he doesn't know me very well, unlike Kaia who is rolling her eyes now.

“I'm very good with directions.” He winks, throwing a hint.

::Thump, Thump, Thump::

“Good evening creatures of the Domain! At last, the Arrangement Ceremony is here. I am the
Overlord
, the founder of the Domain, leader of The Grand Mecca and all of your authorities.”

“Is that really your dad?” Kaia whispers loudly to Gabriel.

He nods sullenly.

“Wow,” she says. “That's so cool!”

He frowns and shakes his head a few times.

“Oh.” She mutters.

When I finally tune back in, all I hear is: “…ready to see who you're future mates are, so now I will announce the couples. Now, as you may or may not know, tonight you enter your new relationships with vows. You will be bound to your partner from here on out. However, you have one month to live with your partner and get to know them before you must actually form the species specific bond that will tie you together for life.”

I lean forward to sneak a peek at Kaia. She looks at me with excitement and I let my relief show through my eyes. Relief for the fact that we have a month before we must make the bond; or in the
a
ngel
s' case, consummate our marriage.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow to us. Guys never understand 'girl talk'.

“Now, I will start by announcing the
angel
couples. I need all the
angel
s to join me on stage, please”

The
angel
s around the auditorium stand and walk to the stage. The chatter in the auditorium grows louder by the second. When we are finally up on stage in front of everyone, the noise level drops back to silent.