Ethans Fal (20 page)

I rest my hand so my thumb can work tiny circles on her clit. Her head shoots up and her next panicked breath makes me laugh out. “Ethan, can I come?” It’s like a sweet punch to my chest–her desperation, her submission, her fall. My mouth curls its permission and like every bone momentarily loses its rigidity she turns to liquid in my hands. My mouth replaces my thumb, my hot tongue flat and firm, my lips working the tension back into her frame. Building, pushing, demanding that final fall. Her high pitch scream turns silent and she freezes. Jesus, I can feel her blood pulsing through her, every nerve, her every muscle taut and alive. She rides her pleasure as she rides my mouth, gentle rolling hips and soft panting whimpers. I lap and lick and draw out the very last moan from her lips.

Crawling up her body and lifting her further onto my bed, she is all soft and pliable, drooping eyelids and warm slick skin. My body covers hers, my hands rest on either side of her head, my cock lays heavy between her legs, eager for its turn. I stretch over to my bedside draw, and blindly pick through the contents for another condom. I rip the corner, her eyes shine bright with liquid and it makes me stop. “Stay with me, Ada.” My tone makes her focus fully on me but whereas I thought I had lost her for a moment–like the first time in this apartment. This time I realise she is completely with me and that is what is troubling her. Her eyes flick to the foil packet in my fingers. “You can thank my surf buddy, Jake, for all the condoms, Ada. A prank that backfired. I know I’m not a virgin but even I don’t need a stack of condoms in the shower. Although…” I kiss the tip of her nose and like that she loses the concern in the crinkle of her eyes and she smiles at me. I sit back on my haunches, trapping her beneath me, while I fist the ache from my shaft and slide the condom on. “You on top, I think.” I push one leg back along hers, pure silk friction. My other leg eases between her legs and I try and position my cock so when we roll I can bury deep without any more waiting.

“Ethan…” Her soft voice is timid. “Can I not…you know… do that.” She worries her lip and I am intrigued.

“Shy, Ada, because you know I’ve just sucked your juices from your–”

“Yes! Yes!” She squeezes her eyes shut and squeals her interruption. “Yes, I know exactly what you’ve done, thank you. No, I’m not shy, it’s just…” She falls silent and her brows knit tight. “I like the feel of your weight on me.” She states but I sense it’s not the truth, well, not the complete truth anyway.

“Hmm is that so?” I coax with a wry grin. “What else do you like?” She shakes her head, mortified she has told me that much. I roll onto her, not giving her all my weight but enough for her to moan and her eyes to darken. “I tell you what, you tell me something else you like and I won’t make you go on top this time.”

“This time?” She queries.

“This time.” My words qualify her question.
Yes, there is going to be a next time.
I nudge just inside her heat; she is hot and slick from her earlier orgasms and it would be too easy to push all the way in but I want her to give me something more. “Tell me, Ada, because I can stay just like this forever.” I pull back to the edge of her wetness and feel her body quiver beneath me.

“I like your weight pressing against me, trapping me.” She mumbles.

“You said that already.” I nudge a little further inside and I can feel her muscles try to grab, eager for more. She lets out a frustrated sigh.

“I…I…” She pauses, but I raise my brow for her to carry on. “I like it when you hold me down like this and I like it really hard.” Her face is bright red and if I wasn’t to the point of exploding, I would think her blush was too cute. But her filthy mouth is more than enough. I lunge just like she asked, hard, harder, and so fucking deep. Her cries blend and all I can hear is gasps, panting breaths, and skin slapping skin. She wants it hard–I want it harder. I hold her wrists, using them to leverage me a little distance so I can watch her. Her eyes blaze with lust and fire, holding my gaze as I pump like a man possessed. She meets my frenetic pounding thrust for thrust and its only moments when I can feel the grip and ache in my balls. Her muscles ride me and just when I think I can’t hold back a second longer, Ada’s cry breaks my flow.

“Ethan, please can I …ahhh!” She fails to finish her request and I fail to hear it as I follow her release with something that felt more like a napalm explosion than coming inside some girl I barely know.
Fuck!

I collapse and roll, bringing her sated body alongside mine. I wrap my arms around her and relish the feel of her pliant, sexy little body draped languidly over mine. Our heartbeats are frantic and our breaths have synchronised into deep pulls for much needed oxygen. Her hand covers my heart and mine covers hers feeling my beat slowly return to normal. She shivers and I drag the blanket over us but she continues to tremble.

“Are you okay?” I tip her chin so her face is looking up to me, her cheek pressed against my chest.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve never…I mean is it always…do you always…sorry I just–” She shrugs when I speak.

“Just can’t finish a sentence.” I kiss her hair and chuckle. The warm feeling permeating my bones has little to do with the new cover and everything to do with what I am holding in my arms. “I could be wrong but I got the impression you enjoyed yourself.” She sniffs and rolls her eyes at my subtle attempt at ego boosting.

“Hmm.” She snuggles back down and squeezes more warmth into my soul. “You could say that; it was amazing but exhausting.” She yawns so big she finishes with a shy smile. “Sorry.”

“Amazed and exhausted–my work here is done.” I tilt my head to kiss her good night or early morning.

Her breathing has settled but she doesn’t feel asleep and as tired as I am, I can’t drift off either.

“Ada?”

“Hmm?” Her sleepy reply and breath wash over me and warm my skin.

“Does running away have anything to do with your C-section scar?” I hold my breath and wait for something–tears, anger, or outrage–but what I get is worse. Her voice is level, ice cold, and her eyes no longer shine.

“I need to use the bathroom.” She pulls herself from the bed and without looking back she closes the door to the ensuite.
Shit!
I thump the pillow and drag my hands through my hair. I don’t know who I’m more pissed at. Ada for shutting down, or myself for asking something when I swore I wouldn’t get involved. Swore I wouldn’t do it again. Have an easy, uncomplicated, drama-free summer that’s what I wanted. It’s what I needed. But then Ada.
Shit!
Before I can retract the question or demand an answer she opens the door, fully dressed. She steps to the bedroom door and I jump naked and race to shut it, but she is through it before I can stop her.

“Ada, don’t do this.” Do what, I’m not sure. It’s not like I have asked her to move in, but I don’t want her to leave like this. I want her to talk to me. I want her to trust me; after what we just shared, wasn’t that worth a little trust? “After all
that
you still won’t trust me.” She barks out a laugh, her lips flatten her expression impassive.

“Ethan, we fucked…you’re good…you’re just not
that
good.” Her jaw tenses and she flinches at her own harsh words. Her internal struggle is laid bare, but it’s not the lie she just threw at me she is having trouble with. It is everything she wants to share but won’t–I can see it in her eyes. They well with water and I reach for her, unable to stand this distance. She chokes her words and shakes her head at my offered hand. “Please, Ethan, I can’t.” Fat tears burst on her cheeks but she roughly wipes them with the back of her hand.

“Let me help, Ada. I won’t ask for more but let me help.” My back stiffens at this compromise. I want more;I want everything from this woman but she is standing on a precipice and I need to talk her down to my side of the mountain.

“Why, Ethan? You don’t owe me anything.” Her voice is pitched and she loses her fight and struggle to keep calm. “You can’t save me, Ethan…You can’t save me.” She repeats, her tears falling down her face, pooling on her clothes. She sniffs and tempers her heart breaking sobs.

“I won’t ask again, Ada.” I hope my stern tone and final threat, will bring her to her senses. I can’t bear the pain ripping her apart before my eyes.

“Good.” She whispers and turns away. “I’m not worth saving.”

“Fuuuuuck!” My foot slams into the closed door splintering one of the panels. “Fuck!” I look around at my now tidy apartment and want to tear it apart. I have never been so fucking mad. I need to run this off on the beach or I will end up trashing my own home. I storm into my bedroom and quickly change. I need to clear my head because how I feel at the moment, I want to find her and drag her back here. Not so she can tell me her secrets, just to keep her safe. I don’t like where my head is leading and I just don’t trust myself. My landline rings. I didn’t know I still had a landline connected and who calls anyone at this time in the morning. I snatch the phone up and snarl.

“Nice time to call, arsehole!”

“Well, it’s always so nice to speak to you, Ethan.” Bethany’s voice is a little startled.

“Bets, shit sorry. Bad night or morning…nevermind. It’s still bloody early, is everything all right? Dad okay? My gorgeous nephew? My brother-in-law?” I run through my check list.

“Tom’s fine, Daniel is fine, and Luca is the reason I am calling at this hour.” She sighs and I can hear muffled sniffles and surprisingly loud noisy sucking sounds, which I really hope are Luca.

“Daniel said he was sleeping through.” I slump down on the sofa now I know there are no emergencies.

“That is because Daniel is usually awake at this time so for him it
is
sleeping through. For me…not so much. I still have a potential three hours more sleep time. Anyway, I’m awake now and I just wanted to leave a message before I forgot. If I’m honest I didn’t really think about the time…sorry.”

I sniff. “Least of my worries, Bets. So, what’s up with the little one?” I can feel my anger and aggravation start to ebb. Bethany has a way of distracting me whether it is talking excitedly about her six month old baby boy, or her work, even trying to get me to believe my time with Kit was real and good.

My mind drifts to twelve months ago when I took Kit to my mum’s favourite spot on the South Coast. I had never taken a girl there, had never felt that I wanted to share something so personal. After mum died, I couldn’t stand to go there, even if Dad sought solace in Mum’s favourite place on the planet. I just couldn’t take anything from it except a gaping hole in me that she could no longer fix. I brought Kit there, just once, because I felt something for her and believed she did too. But after everything that happened, I honestly doubt I can make that call, and I know Bethany believes her sister’s changed, but it doesn’t negate the fact that she used me at the start. Those first true feelings I felt for her were lies, and they felt so fucking real. If Kit could trick me into believing there was more between us, how can I trust the same thing won’t happen again? I can’t. I won’t.

“Ethan?” Bethany’s voice brings me back. “Are you okay?” As if she sensed me zoning out, but instead of being irritated her voice is laced with concern. “Hang on, let me put Luca down.” There is a muffled sound and some gentle voices when the phone clicks.

“Ethan.” Daniel takes the call and as fine as we are now with each other, I would still rather be put on hold.

“Daniel, what’s up?” It’s a casual greeting that doesn’t require an answer but he takes a moment, so I know he
is
going to answer.

“You tell me? Bethany has that look on her face that generally only comes from guilt and or talking to you. One and the same in my book but only one of those expressions I enjoy dealing with. If this is about Kit again, you know I share your view. She got what she deserved. But Ethan, Bethany doesn’t see it like this and I won’t–”

“Dan!” He hates it when I call him that but it does the trick and stop his tirade. “A little early for the lecture. This isn’t about that. Twelve months later and I’ve moved on, so back the fuck up.” It’s not about Kit anymore because I don’t care what her motives and how they might have changed because of me. I care that I can’t trust my own judgement. “Besides, Bethany called me. So stop making me out to be a whiny little bitch. Jesus, I don’t know what she sees in you!” I grumble low but perfectly audible, rubbing the exhaustion that is beginning to set into my temples.

“I have a massive cock.” He informs me coolly. The phone clicks again.

“You
are
a massive cock.” I say before I hear Bethany’s voice.

“Why can’t you two play nice? For me, hmm?” I can hear the smile in her voice because for the most part, we get on fine. It is only when he is being protective that he comes across as a dick, but I can’t even blame him for that. I feel protective toward all my exes to some degree, so I can imagine how that must escalate when you come so close to losing what you love the most.

“Because he’s being Dan the Dick and it’s a little early for that.”

“Ethan, you seemed fine when we met for lunch last week. What could possibly have happened in that time in sleepy Cornwall to make you sound so…so–”

“Pissed?”

“Yeah…that.”

“Nothing.” I hear her sigh again. “Look nothing bad or good. Nothing. I had this party and it just went south.” I try to keep it vague, but she sniffs her derision.

“Ethan, your parties are legendary, so I find
that
hard to believe. It’s not like you to hold back with me…wait–”

“No, Bets, I mean it! Just stop or I’m hanging up.”

“I’ll only call back. It’s a girl isn’t it?” She squeals with delight and my chest tightens. It’s not a girl. It’s Ada and I have no idea what to tell Bethany, because I have no idea what just happened myself.

“It’s not.” I state emphatically. “It’s me. I just thought it would be easy to slip back into my old self here and…”

“Ethan, I love your old self but I love your new self, more. Really, your world view of a little loving spread far and wide isn’t a recipe for long term happiness. It’s the recipe for a lot of friends and a lonely Ethan.” Her soft words pin point my pain. “Ethan, don’t shut yourself up because of Kit. You are worth more than what you are getting back. But you have to trust yourself again.”