Evanescence (Black Rose #1) (16 page)

We stand atop the bell tower and keep our distances. Mike's appearance bothers me, but the secrecy he held with my recently discovered family bothers me much more. His eyes are soft, but dark. His skin a frost white beneath the black jacket he wears. His nails are sharp, and his overbite is hidden.

"You look dead," I say.

"Yeah. That's kind of what happens given the circumstances," he laughs half-heartedly.

"You know your family is looking for you. Worried about you…”

Obviously right?

"…why would you do this to them? To yourself?" I ask.

"It's complicated."

"Do explain." I shrug and place my hands into my pockets.

He studies me for a bit before walking to the curve of bell. He slides to a sit on the lip of the bell which overlooks Utica and the green Mohawk River Valley. I slide to a sit next to him and look amongst the clouds and light that stretch across the sky, above the water.

"You know," he says. "I haven't quite been in contact with my parents besides their last visit which was almost a year ago."

"Why not?"

"They want me to move in with them. We'd argue about it on the phone, but I'd always tell them no."

"I wouldn't be surprised if your parents are on a plane now, coming here."

"I've spoken to them."

"You have?" I ask.

"I told them I needed time to myself and that I'll be back soon. My mother and father said they'd come up. I convinced them it'd be best if they didn't."

"And they listened?"

"Not so easily, but yes."

I shrug.

"So, what's the real reason you left? I mean, you allowed us all to worry about you, but you were fine."

He scoffs.

"Mike, your grandmother cares about you. Why would you so suddenly decide to do something like this. Make them,
us,
worry?"

"And what, you think that was easy? That simple? My family has given me such a hard time these past few months I felt alone and wanted to be alone."

"So, that's what you based your decision on, Mike?"

"No."

"Then what was it?"

He sits quiet and stares at the horizon. I try to exhale the tension that builds in my head. It doesn't work.

"The last I heard, my parents want to move across seas. My grandmother wants to go. I don't want to."

"But why not? You'll be together," I say. "You can start fresh and get to know your parents much more. I thought you wanted that above anything?"

"I know. I can still see them this way as well but it's not just the moving as to why I decided to do this to myself."

"What is it?"

"Fear…"

"Fear of what?"

"Death." 

"Death? Mike. Death? Are you serious right now? Something that you can't run from? You're human. It's inevitable."

"Well, at least not anymore that is," he reminds.

"So, that's it? You don't want to move and be with your family and you're afraid to age and die just as any human should."

"I'M NOT HUMAN!"

I shake my head.

"You're an insult to yourself," I tell him.

"If you see it that way then so be it. I like it here. I love Utica and I feel like I belong here. It's home and no place replaces home."

I can relate to that to an extent.

"You belong with your family."

"Then, why do you keep rejecting yours?" He points.

"I don't," I say.

"Not anymore at least," he adds. "I will still be able to see mine anytime, Evan, and probably more now."

"So, why haven't you seen your grandmother?"

"My thirst is still too great. So I'm here working on it with Bianca's help. Sarah's as well obviously."

"You seem to be doing just fine around me."

"That's because you’re one of us."

"--not yet," I correct.

"You smell like it to me..."

I shake my head.

"I can see my grandmother tomorrow hopefully," he says. "And stay with her until she leaves in a few weeks."

"And then what?"

"I'll just tell her I'm staying here."

"Oh good luck with that Mike."

"It'd be difficult for them to even notice a change in my age."

"In other words you get to watch them all age and die."

He frowns and turns to me.

"Now that's just heartless," he says.

"Yours isn't beating anymore remember?" 

He scoffs.

"And you'll experience the same with your stepmother, Sarah, and Essence for that matter."

I flinch.
Touché'.
 

"At least in their eyes, I'm not some vampire watching them all age and die as you say. I'm still their son and grandson."

He rises to his feet.

"Mike wait," I say getting up. "I'm sorry."

He looks over his shoulder at me.

"I didn't mean it like that."

I really didn't. I've been so stressed out about what's going on, I should have been more understanding and heard him out. He is my best friend. My only friend for that matter. I've already got a taste of what life is like without him.

He faces me.

"Believe me. I was very careful about my decision, Evan, but understand that even if I wanted to go, it would be difficult to leave now."

"Why is that?" I ask.

"Bianca."

"You love her."

"Yes."

"When did you know this for yourself."

He moves the collar of his jacket away from his neck.

"She bit you."

"I told her to."

"Wait, how'd you know that she was a vampire?"

He puts his hands into his jacket.

"The morning of the day I left, my grandmother sided with my parents about moving. I argued with my grandmother while I was getting ready for school. When school ended, Bianca had told me to meet her by the football field, skip last period to spend more time together and so I did. Sure enough there she stood on the field, waiting for me. She didn't say much. Just asked if I trusted her. Of course, at the time, I didn't know what she was going to show me. So we walked through the forest, alone, and when she told me her feelings about me and asked how I felt about her…"

He shrugs. 

"I told her I felt the same. I told her I've always had eyes for her. And then she told me about you."

"Me?"

He nods.

"Yeah. About how she cares for you, the family, everything. How she's afraid you may never recognize her or 'come home.' At first it was just all too weird and a bit much. I wasn't quite following. She was afraid that you'd never remember or ever come home. That you would remain human for the rest of your life. That your vampire self will never come out and you would forget your family existed."

"Wow," I shake my head. "I had already forgotten they existed."

"But you came back," he reminds. "I told her about my family, about moving, about dying. She said she could make it possible that I live forever, but that would mean I need to turn away from a few things in my human life. It sounded funny like some old scary story, talking about immortality. But she told me it was real. I could never die and I could be with her, offering me the two things I wanted. The rain fell, her eyes changed color, and she was different. She told me what she was, not to be afraid, and asked if this was what I wanted for myself. That there will be no turning back. That it would be difficult. I told her it was what I wanted, and then, she bit me."

I devour his story.

"I died that night, Evan. When you are bitten, that person, or vampire, becomes your life and for vampires like Bianca, you become theirs as well."

Now I understand. As much as I didn't while he was gone, now I understand. It's not just about his family, but about himself. About where he wants to be and feels he needs to be. About who he is and what he believes in. I'm his best friend. He needs me now.

"Does it hurt…to die?" I ask.

"In becoming a vampire? Yes. The pain was excruciating. It will hurt. I can't sugarcoat this one for you, buddy."

I smirk.

"Guess I have something to look forward to."

"Ohh yeahh," he says laughing.

"But I'm glad you're back, Mike. I really am."

We shake hands firmly before he pulls me into a hug.

"Glad to be back, brother."

He lets go and smirks. He looks over the ledge and then back to me.

"They're waiting for you. I'll see you below."

He flips off the bell and heads down below. I smile and shake my head

Showoff.

When you become a vampire, you lose your life, but I guess, you keep your personality.

We stand in the small field that rests before the cliff. Everyone, excluding Cedric, awaits nearby as father and I are face to face.

"Okay, Evan," he says. "We're going to start with the basics and then things will get a little tricky."

"Okay," I respond.

He nods to Mike, who then runs inside, then returns with a wall of red brick above his head. He places the wall behind my father, gives me a smirk, then rejoins the rest of the family on the side. Mike might have always been that strong. I don't think that was the vampire in him.

"Now, Evan, what I want you to do is put me through this brick wall," my father says. "Simple."

I examine the brick wall behind him.

"You want me to put you through that brick?" I ask for confirmation.

He smiles and nods.

"That is correct. Good luck."

He stands with his cane beneath both of his hands.
He's not going to brace himself?

"Well, alright," I shrug.

"Whenever you are ready," he says.

I position my feet firm into the ground and focus on the best possible way to push him.
Not the shoulders.
I shake my head.
Not the stomach; too soft.
A direct force to the midsection will be best.
The sternum.
I shift my weight back, then throw my arms and palms to his chest. He doesn't budge. Not an inch. Mike chuckles, but Bianca nudges him to stay silent.

"Care to try again?" he smiles.

"Uhhh, yes."

He motions his hand for me to try again. 
More force, Evan. It was weak. He didn't even budge. Okay. Here we go.

I try again. Nothing. I back off.

"I don't understand," I say.

"Because you aren't fully vampire, you can't assume that everything you do will be vampire."

I was doing just fine a minute ago climbing the mansion and jumping from the bell. Had I known an off-period can occur at any time, I'm pretty sure I would not have taken neither of those life threatening risks. I'd be spaghetti or a smashed watermelon.

"Your body is still adjusting, but I shall teach you how to trick it with your mind."

"I kind of taught him," Bianca says.

Father smiles and slightly bows.

"Well, thank you, dear."

He turns back to me and clears his throat.

"This time Evan, I want you to focus more, but not on putting me through this brick wall. Focus on a time when you felt endangered. Now, careful I tell you," he lifts a finger. "Anger is inevitable; however, do not allow anger to provoke careless action. Allow the essence of your soul to find peace within yourself. Only then will you know how to bring out the better, stronger, you."

"But what if I can't and won't learn how to do any of this?"

"You can do it, Evan," Essence says. Everyone looks over at her and smiles. "I believe in you."

"I'll try," I say returning a smile.

I nod and position myself for another try.
I remember when I first ran into uncle Abel. He had frightened me. Moving about from tree to tree. I remember breaking my wrist, running through the rain and how cold it was. Then knocked unconscious from smacking into a tree.

My fingers begin to tingle and I feel strong. The mint smell of the rainforest fills my nostrils and water continues to crash against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.
I can do this,
I tell myself. My father smiles as I shift of my weight back, and focus on his midsection.

I pushed him and I pushed hard. The blow echoes in my ears as I watch his body leave the ground beneath him, his arms and legs throw forward, and his torso cave in. When his body connects with the wall behind him, it cracks as loud as thunder. I had imagined it to be painful, however, father has yet stopped smiling.

The wall bursts into pieces and he tumbles and plows across the ground, then, gracefully, catches his weight on his feet, his staff, beneath his hands once again as though nothing happened at all.
It worked
.
I brought the vampire out of me.
Everyone claps and cheers, except Cedric of course.

"Bravo, Evan!" my father, Kaius, exclaims as he claps then outstretches his arms. "Now, how did that feel?"

I smile much greater than anticipated.

"It felt similar to when I was angry at the bully in school yet different. Even different from when Bianca had helped me tap into myself when I climbed the mansion. Similar, but different." I respond.

"Different than before, yes," he agrees. "That is because, instead of anger, or any emotion that stems from it, we used a substitute. Self- awareness; acceptance. Recognizing that we have to address the issue before us and instead of running from our problem, fix it. We can choose to act, just as you did, or do nothing, and be consumed by fate. Do you want everything in your life in the hands of fate? Or would you rather have more control over your life?"

"More control," I answer.

"I thought so," he says nodding.

He dusts himself off and clears his throat.

"Now," he says. "Are you ready to continue?"

"I am."

"Splendid!" 

Father flicks his wrist, and like magic, an apple appears in his hand. He holds it up for all to see. 

"Now, we are going to test your sense of sight," he says. "This here, is an apple."

As I can see.

Mike snickers and Bianca nudges him again. I'm pretty sure he was thinking the same thing I was, so I smile inside.

"Okay," I listen on trying not to think of eating it.

"I am going to drop this apple and I want you to get it," he says.

"That won't be too hard," I respond. 

"You got this, Ev!" Mike calls still laughing a bit. Bianca hits him again, but he ignores. "You got this."

"Come," father says walking me to the cliff. He places his hand on my back and leads me to the edge. We overlook The Mohawk River Valley. It is beautiful as always. Trees encompass the perimeter of the large ocean of water, the gray clouds are calm, and birds flutter from across the river and throughout the valley.

"You see the water below?" 

I look down at the water crashing against the wall of the cliff.

"Yes." 

"Good. Now find the apple." 

He lets go of the apple and it falls through the sky until it disappears from view. 

"How am I supposed to--?"

Father shoves me over the edge and I flip and plummet through the sky.
Okay, you can do this!
However, such confidence has not stopped me from yelling, and partially, suffocating on the rush of air. I readjust myself to the fall, straight as a pencil, and take the deepest breath I can.
Okay, here we go.

I throw my arms above my head and water engulfs my surroundings. The water is freezing, my ears are plugged, and my body sways like a falling feather, as I sink. I hold my breath, kick the water beneath me, and swim to the surface. I can barely see my father on the cliff, and the rest of the family joins him looking down at me. I wipe the water from my face and inhale as much oxygen as I can. I dive below and sound muffles. 
How can I find an apple in this water that is so dark? This is impossible.
 

I continue to swim, arms thrusting and legs kicking as I head for the bottom. The temperature of the water feels as though it is dropping by the second. My face is numb, I think my ears are bleeding by now, but I must continue. I can't give up. 

Where are you?
I think to myself.
Oh no.
My chest tightens and my muscles begin to submit. 
I need air.
I can't be anywhere close to the bottom of the river which is where I suspect the apple to be by now.
I have to go back up
. 

I adjust my swim back towards the surface. I have to hurry. I reach frantically through the water kicking harder, trying to hold my breath as best and as long as I can. Water fills my nostrils, my eyes begin to burn, and the cold is unbearable. Before my lungs burst, I emerge from the surface. I throw my head back, coughing and gasping for air. The worst is over. I cough up what is left of the water and look to the top of the cliff. 

"I can't find it!" I yell, exposing my failure. 

Someone jumps from the cliff. The body dives into the water like a bullet, but smooth and fluid. A few moments go by and Bianca springs from the surface like a dolphin. She swims towards me.

"Looking for this?" she says as she smiles and holds up the apple. "I'll lead you back up, Evan. We can try again."

When Bianca and I get back up to the cliff, everyone awaits with towels. I hug my goosebump-covered skin and my clothes are wet and heavy.

"Evan, come," Kaius calls holding a hand out to me.

"I'm freezing," I say. "I can't do it."

"You must remember what I told you before. You know you can withstand the cold if you really wanted to, Evan and barely have to hold your breath."

Bianca nods and lightly shoves me to try again.

"Alright," I say, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. Bianca hands Kaius the apple then joins the others on the side.

"Let's try this again only this time, we'll take the advice I've given, hmm?"

I don't want to, but I have to. I have to learn how to be what I am. I can't give up. No matter how hard it is. I come from an amazing history.
This is in my blood. I am meant for this.
If I want to make everyone proud, I'm going to have to try harder no matter how many times I may fail. That's how lessons are learned, and greatness is born.

"I'm ready," I say.

He smiles.

"Now," he says holding the apple up to me. "This time, Evan, this is not an apple. This is something much more important to you. This is something you cherish with your life. Save it. There is no other option.”

I nod my head.

"Got it."

My father holds the apple over the edge of the cliff. He nods, then lets go of the apple. Without hesitation, I immediately jump after the apple and watch as it spins and descends through the air. I hold a hand in front of me, ready to grab it when I catch up. And then I see her. The apple of my eye. Essence. Just as she was in my dream.

Adrenaline fills my body and boils my blood. Essence is in trouble and I must save her. Thunder rumbles and rain begins to pour. My heart tries to creep into my throat, but I ignore the doubt that tries to distract me. As we plummet through the raining sky to the ocean below, I extend my arm and hand to Essence. She is unconscious, but I will catch her. I will save her. 

Essence breaks through the surface of the water, and I am right behind her. As I continue to dive to the bottom, she is gone. I kick and swim, deeper and deeper, ignoring the cold, ignoring the need for air, and ignoring the will to live.

The apple is gone. Images of Essence trying to breathe begin to plague inside of my mind.
I have to find her. I have to find her or she will die
.  

I swim as fast as a bullet, and there she lays, on the ocean floor, still and cold. My heart pounds against my chest as I swim to her and bring her into my arms. I sit on the river’s floor, close my eyes, and kiss her forehead. I throw her over my shoulders holding her legs and squat to gather strength. With one push off the floor of the river, we rocket to surface. The water flies behind us like a speedboat and the light from the surface begins to shine around us.
Just a bit further. Just a bit further,
I tell myself.

With a few more kicks, I emerge from the surface holding the apple high above me. 

"YES!"

I saved Essence, the apple.
I succeeded. 

I splash the water with my hand and look up the cliff. They watch from above, as I swim to the rocks, and stuff the apple into my pocket which forms a huge ball, and begin to climb, one hand after another, one step after another. My hand reaches over the top and my family was there to congratulate and pull me up. 

"Jeez, you're freezing!" Sarah says as she hugs me. "Great job! I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," I smile and wipe the water from my face.

"Son, you have made me proud," my mother says bowing her head. 

"Ev, man, that was awesome!" Mike says handing me a towel. "I think you were faster than me! I knew you could do it!"

"Uh huh, sure you did," Bianca says shaking her head. "Great job brother."

"Great job indeed, Evan!" Abel agrees. 

My father joins us and places his hands on my shoulders.

"A job well done. You'll make quite the vampire, Evan."

"Thanks," I smile. 

I try to bite the apple, but unable to puncture its surface. It pops open and inside is a weight.