Evanescent Ink (Copperline #4) (22 page)

It was still dark when Raven’s phone rang. Calls in the middle of the night were seldom good things.

We were still on the couch, still naked, but she had pulled a quilt over the top of us.

We still hadn’t spoken really at all, aside from the heated murmurs and gasps during sex.

Raven reached for my dark gray dress shirt, wrinkled and slightly worse for the wear, and pulled it on over her bare body as she stepped to the kitchen counter in the open little apartment. She grabbed her phone and looked at the display.

“Shit,” she whispered, then pressed the button and held the phone up to her ear. “Joe?”

Her uncle.

Fuck
. Not good. Not at this time of night.

“Is she okay?” Raven whispered after a moment, then was quiet waiting for the response. “But is she okay?” she asked more sternly. “Joe—” She suddenly stopped short and closed her eyes. “Okay, I’m coming right away.”

By this time, I’d stood, wrapping the blanket around my hips, and came to stand before her as she ended the call.

“Your mom?” I asked.

Raven nodded, not looking up.

“She okay?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “He wouldn’t tell me.”

I cupped her face in my hands and pulled her worried gaze up to meet mine. “Get dressed. I'll drive you.”

The snow had stopped sometime in the night, and the plows had been out. The roads were easily passable in the darkness before early dawn. Raven didn’t say anything, just wrung her hands and toyed with the zipper on her coat while we drove.

When we got to the hospital, there was a guy standing out front. He wore a Carhartt coat over a thick flannel shirt, jeans, and heavy boots. His ball cap was pulled low over his eyes. As we pulled into a parking spot, he took a couple hesitant steps forward.

“Is that your uncle?” I asked.

Raven nodded slowly. She had pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail, but still wore remnants of makeup from earlier in the night. In her rush to leave, she’d pulled on some faded jeans and a hoodie, grabbing her jacket and a hair tie on her way out the door. She was a harried reflection of the Raven I usually saw. This vulnerability made me reach out, to set my hand on her knee across the bench seat of the truck. Raven looked down at it, then up into my eyes.

“I don’t want to know what happened,” she whispered.

“But you need to,” I replied. “I'll be right beside you… every step.”

Her eyes filled with tears and closed. She inhaled sharply through her nose, then let it out long and slow and a little bit shaky. With a nod, she opened the pickup door.

I climbed out quickly and met her on the passenger side, slipping my arm around her back and slowly urging her to the entrance… and her uncle.

Joe appeared broken. His shoulders slumped and his eyes told us what we really already knew before he could find the words. His gaze flicked to me for a moment, somewhat questioning at my appearance with her in the middle of the night. However, it wasn’t the time or place for that discussion.

Raven and I stopped about a foot away, our stilted breaths visible in the cold darkness.

Joe shook his head in solemn wonder. “She’s gone.”

Raven took another step forward, wrapping her arms around his middle, and hugged him tight. Her face planted against his chest, her voice was barely audible.

“What happened?”

“She managed to rip off some strips of bedding, tied them around her neck.” Joe’s voice was flat, and emotionless. Shocked. “She was on suicide watch, so they were checking her every fifteen minutes, but she must have done it immediately when the tech left the room. They tried to revive her… and couldn’t.” He shook his head helplessly, and his hands came to rest on her shoulders. “I don’t know if you wanted to see her. She’s in her room still, just in case.”

Raven nodded faintly. “I think so.” She released him and took a step back, back to me. “Um, this is Drew. He’s, um…" Her jaw worked like she was trying to get something out, but couldn’t, so she just faded off, gesturing towards her uncle. “Drew, this is my Uncle Joe.”

I reached out and shook his hand. “I’m sorry.” What else could I really say just then?

Joe swallowed hard and looked down at Raven with a sad smile, then glanced back up at me. “Thank you for coming with her. The situation could be better, but I’m glad you’re here.”

Raven shivered slightly, so I pulled her close and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Me, too,” I replied.

We signed in and got our visitor passes. The hospital had been kind of cold and sterile before, but now there was a deserted air about it. A quiet stillness that made it all seem so eerie. We were led through the corridors to a small room. Simple and plain. Safe. In the bed lay Margot. She wore a soft blue robe and her hair had been combed smooth. She looked like she was sleeping, but for an unnatural stillness and gray coloring. In spite of her pallor, she looked decades younger than she had the last time I saw her. Relaxed. As though death had given her new life.

Raven hesitated in the doorway, staring at her mother in sad wonder. Her hand dropped to where mine rested at her hip, and her fingers curved around mine, tangling their way into my grasp. I tightened my hold momentarily, then slowly urged her a little farther into the room.

Joe paused at the door behind us. “I'll give you a few minutes to say goodbye, if you want.”

“Thank you,” Raven whispered without looking away from her mother’s lifeless body.

He stepped out of the room and pulled the door mostly closed behind him.

“Rave,” I murmured from behind her, “do you want me to go, too? Do you want a few minutes alone?”

“No,” she quickly replied, and her eyes darted up to meet mine. “I, um… I’d like…" Her voice faltered.

I brushed my hand along her jaw. “Okay,” I said softly. “It’s okay. I'll stay.”

She leaned into me with a broken breath, and I wrapped both arms around her, holding her close. Bracing her, comforting her. Trying to absorb some of her tumultuous grief.

Finally, she turned back to her mom’s bed, watching her for a moment before she pulled away and sat in a chair alongside. Gingerly, she reached out and stroked her fingers down her mother’s forearm, her breath hitching at the first touch.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a barely audible voice. “I’m sorry I was never what you wanted. I’m sorry you were never what I needed. I’m sorry we hurt each other.” She choked a little before inhaling a long shaky breath. “And even though everything was such a mess, I’m sorry you’re gone. In spite of all the awful things we did and said, you were still my mom, and I’m sorry that I don’t get to tell you I did love you.”

She sat there a bit longer, waiting for some unknown cue, before she looked up at me. Her eyes were bright with tears, but none fell.

“I feel so stupid for that, you know.”

I stepped closer and crouched down to her level.

“For what?”

“All of it. For being so rebellious. For being sad now.” She shook her head slowly. “For caring when she didn’t.”

“You shouldn’t. She had to have cared about you, too. In some little way, even though she couldn’t show it. As much as she was still your mom, you were still her little girl.”

Raven’s lip began to tremble and the wetness in her eyes pooled and spilled over to trail down her cheeks. I pulled her towards me and she slid from the chair into my arms. We sat on the floor beside her mother’s deathbed, and I held her as she cried against my chest, brushing back the fine hairs that had escaped her ponytail while the old, putrid bitterness seeped out of her. She allowed the grief to wash through her, to slowly replace the hardened antipathy with forgiveness. A heart like Raven’s couldn’t do anything else. No matter how she tried to hide it, she was simply too soft deep down inside.

After some time had passed and her tears began to fade, there came a soft knock at the door. We looked up to see Joe in the doorway. Untangling ourselves, we slowly rose. Raven looked once more down at her mother.

“Bye, mama,” she whispered.

“I tried calling your sister while you were in there,” Joe said as we headed back outside.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, and the winter sky began to glow with a vibrant golden pink. All around, the world was blanketed with heavy snow, leaving it looking fresh and new.

Joe continued to talk, his hands in his pockets and his feet shuffling along in the ice-melt that had been scattered along the sidewalk.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d call back, so I did tell her in the voicemail. I'll give your father a call in a bit, too, if you want.”

“I'll do it,” Raven offered in a solemn voice. “I know you don’t really like the guy.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I mostly didn’t like how they treated you.”

“They sent me here. That was the best thing they ever did for me.”

Joe reached out and pulled her to him, giving her a long bear hug. “You’re a good kid,” he murmured into her hair, then released her. “I'll call him. The last thing you need is his shit right now. I'll also let you know what the plans are once I talk to the funeral home.”

“Let me know if you need me to do anything,” Raven nodded.

He looked back up at me, seeming a bit grizzled, but there was a definite warmth in his eyes that clearly reflected his feelings for her.

“Thank you again for coming with her,” he said sincerely.

“I’m glad I was around to,” I replied.

There was some kind of interchange that passed between him and me. In spite of his appreciation that I was there when she needed me, it also felt like he was warning me not to hurt her.

And a little like he wasn’t thrilled with the knowledge that I was with Raven in the middle of the night when she got his call.

“Well,” he said as he stepped back towards his pickup, “better get home and get to work on some of this.”

“Later, Joe,” Raven said with a small wave.

I opened up the driver side of the truck, and Raven climbed in to sit in the middle of the bench seat.

“Drew,” Joe said once Raven had buckled up in my truck. I took a step towards him, and he leaned in and spoke with a low sincerity. “Take care of her. There aren’t many people she allows to get close.”

I met his gaze and saw the concern in his eyes. Raven was like a daughter to him… and he wasn’t fucking around with this request.